A/N: Hi guys!
I'm here again, although obviously, I don't own Arrow.
This time, I've written about what happened between seasons 1 and 2. There are some things that haven't been explained in the series, and I've thought that maybe I'm not the only one who has imagined what could have happened.
So finally I've put into words what I've had in my mind for the past few weeks. And if you want to know something about the story before you start to read it, I will tell you this fic has three chapters:
In the first, you'll see how the night ended for Oliver, Diggle and Felicity. In the second, you'll know how Tommy's funeral was, and the last will be about how Diggle and Felicity discover where Oliver was.
I wanted to stay faithful to the series, so I hope to have succeeded.
Once again, I have to thank my fantastic beta luvtheheaven for her awesome help; because without her, I couldn't have shared it with you.
I hope you like it.
And don't forget, when you're bored, take some paper and your favorite pen and enjoy writing!
Chapter 1: Trust me
They had stopped the device; they had ended Malcolm Merlyn and his diabolical plan... At least he'd thought that, until he'd heard him: Redundancy ... With one word, the Dark Archer made him realize that they had not achieved their goal. This time, they had failed the city.
Oliver muttered, more to himself than to her, "Felicity... There's another device... There's two of them!"
With the shock still reflecting in his eyes, and after he'd helped Diggle stand up, they went closer to the edge of the roof, watching as half of the Glades was crumbling to pieces, all the while listening to Felicity's sobs through the communicator.
"Oliver?" Felicity asked in a trembling voice.
"Are you okay?" he replied.
"Yeah," she said with a sigh. "The damage seems to be contained on the east side, past Wells Street."
That phrase turned Oliver's world upside down. His stomach lurched, and his chest shrugged.
"Laurel..." he whispered, before asking Diggle pleadingly, "Are you going to be okay?"
"Yeah. Go, go, go!"
Diggle was injured, and he didn't know how long he would last before falling unconscious from blood loss, but he knew Oliver needed to go in search of Laurel. If it was Carly who was in danger... But he couldn't think about that. He had to draw strength from wherever he could and get out of there. The police would be coming and he knew that he couldn't be found on that roof - not if they wanted to maintain Oliver's anonymity.
Redundancy... That damn word pounded in his ears while he was riding his motorcycle as fast as he could towards the CNRI building. The first time he heard her voice, he felt relieved, but it only lasted for a moment. As soon as he realized what she was screaming, though, and how desperate she sounded... his blood ran cold.
Tommy.
Oliver was paralyzed. His muscles were stiff. His fists tightened on the handlebars. He could not move... He remembered too well the first time he felt like that, after he saw his father sacrificing his life to give him a chance. But this time would be different; Tommy would not die. He could not allow that to happen. He got off the bike and walked into the building, ignoring the pain in his body and the fire that was propagating around. Only one thing mattered: Get his friend out of there.
As Oliver knelt down beside Tommy, he said, "I'm gonna get you out of here. You're… you're gonna be fine."
Not far from there, a frightened Felicity was listening in silence. She didn't dare say anything; she should not be a part of that conversation. Although she could not hear what Tommy answered, she knew Oliver well enough to distinguish the hint of panic and desperation he was trying to hide from his friend. And that only could mean one thing... Tommy was going to die in his arms.
She wanted to turn off the communicator, give him privacy at that moment, but she was afraid that if she did, she would not be able to reconnect later, so with tears rolling down her cheeks she heard what she knew would never forget: "No, no! Tommy! It should have been me ... Open your eyes Tommy! Open your eyes…"
She felt bad for having heard his conversation, Oliver's last words ever spoken to his friend, but she had had no other choice. And at that moment, she realized that she wasn't the only one. Diggle should also have heard, although he had been silent as well. It had been the least they could do.
Oliver's sobs mingled with the noise coming from the building that was falling apart.
"Tommy, you were right," he whispered as he hugged his lifeless body. "I should never have come back."
That phrase left her breathless. The man who had been fighting with his demons for such a long time finally had broken. The Glades disaster, the implication of his mother, and the death of his best friend all at once were more than he could handle. The truth hit her as soon as she heard Oliver. He was going to let himself die there, and Felicity didn't know what to do to avoid it.
On the other side of the city, Diggle had managed to drag himself to the elevator that took him down to the first floor. He had then gone out to the street and had stopped in one of the side alleys to catch his breath when he too had heard the death sentence that Oliver had imposed onto himself. But he was not going to allow it. They had had their differences, but finally he had learned to see the man who was hiding behind the forced smiles, and they had become… if not friends, at least good comrades.
Diggle knew him well enough to know that he would not be convinced by reason; he needed to think of something else. If there was one thing he could count on from Oliver, it was his concern for others before his own safety... Now was the moment to use it.
"Oliver," he called over the communicator. "Oliver, do you hear me?"
Diggle moaned and let himself drop to the ground, and that caught Oliver's attention.
"Dig?"
"I need your help, Oliver. I have got out of the building, but—" a fit of coughing silenced him.
A similar call came to Oliver's mind, when in his first battle against the Dark Archer, he was almost killed. But this time it was Diggle who needed help. He couldn't refuse.
"Hold on, Dig. I'll be there soon."
Oliver got up heavily. Although he was ignoring it, it was a fact that the blood loss was gradually debilitating him. He looked at Tommy and silently wished for his forgiveness. For letting him die, for having killed his father, for coming too late, and for having to leave now as well. He did not want to separate from him, and he wanted to leave him there even less, but he could not get him out, not dressed as he was. The Hood had nothing to do there; his presence would be too suspicious. And Diggle needed him.
He mounted his motorcycle and went to his aid.
"I'm coming; where are you?"
"Take the second left." It was Felicity's voice. "From there, two hundred yards, more or less."
"I think I won't complain about your trackers again," the bodyguard growled as he watched the lights of a motorbike coming closer.
Without wasting a minute, Oliver helped him up and got him to the bike.
"How are you?" the older man asked.
"I'm fine."
"Oliv—"
"Diggle, I'm fine, and you need assistance."
"Okay, then are we going to Verdant?"
Oliver denied it by shaking his head, pressed down hard on the gas pedal and went into the dark streets of the Glades. Not much later, the luminous cartel of the hospital caught the attention of the bodyguard. He couldn't believe that Oliver was taking him to the hospital.
"Really?" Diggle asked in disbelief.
Oliver's growl let him know that he was not going to discuss that. The bike stopped at a prudent distance, and Oliver said, "I shouldn't come closer. Will you be able to walk this far?"
"Of course."
Oliver shook his hand. It was a gesture that told each other more than they could ever put in words.
"Felicity, are you still at the club?" Oliver asked her.
"Yes."
"I'm on my way."
"Oliver ..." she murmured with concern.
"I'm fine," he lied again.
Felicity disagreed, but remained silent. She got up and checked the medical supplies. Something in Diggle's question as soon as he'd seen Oliver had told her that Oliver would need them. She went to the bathroom, washed her face and freshened up. She wanted to cry, but she knew that Oliver needed her more than ever, so she had to keep herself strong for him.
She returned to her desk and did some searches. Moira had been arrested after her declaration; Thea had returned to the mansion, Diggle had been admitted to hospital and Laurel ... She could not find anything about her, so she decided to send a message to Detective Lance to ask if they were okay. Immediately the reply came: "We're both fine. What about you? Tonight you have done a great job."
As she sent a quick "Good. I'm fine too", Felicity ignored his compliment, wondering if Lance was right. Half of the Glades was destroyed and a lot of people had died. But she did not have much time to think about it. The sound of the door brought her out of her thoughts and made her get up suddenly.
"Ol—" her voice went out.
His face was a perfect mask that was hiding any hint of emotion. If he didn't still have red eyes and tear tracks on his cheeks, no one would say that he had just lost his best friend.
An uncomfortable silence had settled between them. Felicity was speechless for the first time in a long time, and Oliver was not daring to look at her. He could deal with fear, disappointment, or even anger... But he could not deal with compassion. Felicity had never looked at him with it, but after everything that had happened, he was afraid that if he looked up, that would be what he was going to see in her eyes.
Something vibrated in the pocket of his jacket; it was his phone.
"Laurel..." he whispered, looking the screen.
"You should take it."
"Laurel?"
Even Felicity could hear her loud and panicked cry.
"Where are you Ollie?"
"I... Are you okay Laurel? Are you hurt?"
"No... I'm not..."—Oliver let out the breath that he didn't realize he was holding—"Tommy... He is—" her voice broke.
"Laurel," he muttered with pain, because he knew what she was trying to say.
"Tommy... He's gone... He died saving me!"
Oliver was silent.
"Ollie? Are you still there? Answer me! Say something. Please!" she begged.
But Oliver had already hung up. The phone slipped softly from his fingers and hit the ground with a thud. But the cell phone was not the only thing that fell ... His mask was also gone.
Until then he could pretend that everything had been a horrible nightmare caused by loss of blood, but Laurel's call had changed everything. There was no possibility that it wasn't true. He had failed the city. He had failed Laurel. He had failed his best friend. And now Tommy was dead.
Felicity silently observed his change. The day when she learned of his secret was already so long ago, and even farther back was the day when he came into her office bringing a laptop with bullet holes, a charming smile, and a ridiculous lie. Since then, they had spent many hours together and had experienced many things… Some good, and others not so much. They had shared many victories, and some defeats... She'd seen him angry, disappointed, hurt... but nothing that could compare to what she saw in that moment. The man in front of her was not Oliver. Not the Oliver she knew. He was a completely broken and desolate man. His look was radiating guilt and pain.
"Oliver," she quietly said his name.
"I'm—"
"No!" she cut him off. "You can't be fine, so don't say it, Oliver. You aren't alone, I'm here."
She advanced a few steps. She lifted her hand to caress his cheek and he closed his eyes at the contact.
"I'm with you," she added before hugging him strongly. It was the only thing she could do at that moment, knowing that there were no words that could console him.
Oliver let her hug him and little by little he hugged her back, as well. Her warmth was more comforting than he had imagined anything could be, but when the adrenaline completely abandoned him, there was only pain. And although the wound in his shoulder was quite painful, the worst thing was the anguish that had settled in his chest.
He was aware that he was becoming weaker, that he was leaning more and more on Felicity, that he needed medical attention urgently, but did he really want to live? He could tell the IT girl that he was hurt, that he needed a blood transfusion, or even perhaps a hospital. But he didn't say any of that. He simply let her hug him while bitter tears rolled down his cheeks.
"Felicity?" he began.
"Hum?"
"Sorry," he muttered before falling.
"Oliver!"
Felicity could not believe what had happened. Just a second before, she'd had Oliver's arms hugging her tightly, but the next moment, he had collapsed, falling to his knees.
"Oliver! Oliver!" she screamed as she was shaking him. "Damn you, Oliver Queen! You can't do this to me. I ... I do not know what to do. Because in case you had not noticed I'm not Diggle! Although that is obvious, because I am not black, nor am I a man or... And I'll shut up in 3, 2, 1."
A chuckle from him let her know that he was still conscious.
"Oliver, I need you to help me get you up; you're too heavy for me, and here on the floor I doubt you're going to be comfortable. Besides, I can't reach the medical supplies and you need them. You really need them!"
She slipped an arm around his shoulders and grabbed him firmly by the waist.
"On the count of three, okay? One, two... and three," she counted, and then she tugged him with all her strength until she managed to take him to the operating table.
She took a deep breath to calm herself as much as possible and prepared to do one of that least favorite things she'd been forced to since she'd joined his crusade: treat his wounds.
She unzipped his jacket and could not resist crying out in horror at the amount of blood on the T-shirt. Using scissors, she got rid of it and observed Oliver's face. His eyes were unfocused, but he was still conscious.
She asked softly, "Do you want something for the pain?"
"No," he growled.
"You have a hole from one side of your chest to the other, and it must be really painful. So, don't you think that it'd be better if I gave you some anesthetic?"
"Felicity," he said. This time there was a hint of pleading in his voice, and Felicity knew there was something more behind his words. She thought that it was his way of dealing with the sense of guilt, a condemnation he thought he deserved. But actually, the only thing he wanted right then was to avoid the nightmares. He knew that with everything that he'd just gone through tonight, he would dream about the island, remembering all that he had suffered there, unable to wake up until the effect of the anesthesia was gone, and he thought that he would not be capable of handling it.
"Okay," she sighed with resignation, "but as soon as I finish with the wound I am going to prepare you a little of those herbs. And now I need you to sit. It will be better if we start with the wound on your back, and this way you could lie down after I finish the first part."
She placed the IV to start the blood transfusion he urgently needed, and then she carefully washed the area until there were no traces of blood. Luckily the wound was not too large but it was from front to back, and definitely would need time to heal. She showed him the needle and the thread, and asked, "Are you ready?"
He only nodded in response.
"I hate to do this, you know?" she began one of her ramblings. "I have no problems with the blood, well, I have some, but I can stand it, but I hate the stitches, in fact, I hate everything that has to do with needles and spiky things in general. Even though your arrows are spiky as well, but I do not hate them... Not that I want to have one of them in me, but... I'm rambling again, and I will shut up in 3—"
"Felicity, don't stop."
She looked at him, a little confused.
"Talk to me," he urged.
"About what?"
"About whatever you want. I don't want to think."
Something stirred inside of Felicity. It was the closest thing to a request for help that she would ever receive from Oliver.
"Well," she hesitated for a moment, "you are the most stubborn person I know."
"Oh ... I didn't expect that."
"But you are. You always say 'I'm fine' when even you do not believe it, but it's your way to go on and I accept it." She kept explaining as she began the tedious task of suturing. "It's your way of trying to make it so that those around you don't worry, well, that we don't worry, because obviously I am one of those people too. But I do care about you, because you're my friend and it is what friends are supposed to do, right? Because you're that kind of person, a good person who cares more for others than for themselves, although that doesn't mean that sometimes you aren't wrong with your priorities. And you like doing the things for yourself, not because you don't trust others, but because you take all the responsibilities for yourself, and that means that sometimes you have to make difficult decisions... Well, you can already lie down."
"You know me better than I thought," he said while he leaned back slowly.
"Because of what I've just said? That doesn't mean I know you! All of that would be known by anyone that took a little time to observe you. And I don't mean watching you like staring at you, although, well, what woman would not do it with those muscl... I mean, that spending every night with you and... That doesn't sound good either... What I mean is, that knowing you is to know you don't like enclosed spaces, except perhaps this basement, because after all, you've designed it and you know every corner, I guess... Every time you enter someplace indoors, you look around for all possible exits because you need that feeling of freedom that you do not have in those places. That's why you take the motorcycle whenever you can, because the car turns out to be too stifling to you. You love looking at the stars; it gives you peace, it relaxes you... You don't like noisy or crowded places, hence you try to avoid all the high class functions that you can, and you prefer to stay close to the wall so that nobody could surprise you from the back. And you also don't like highly spicy food or very strong flavors... All that is to say that I really do know you very well."
"Felicity?"
"Yes," she said softly.
"You are remarkable."
She blushed. The last time he'd said that, she did not know anything about his double life yet.
"I'm going to prepare your magic herbs. Don't you dare move."
A couple of minutes later, Felicity brought the glass to his mouth, and he drank gratefully.
Felicity pulled up a chair and sat next to him. She extended her hand, stopped and extended it again until she reached his head, caressing him slowly, lovingly. At those moments she could not try to talk to him, because he would not let her, so it was the only way she had to give him a little comfort.
Oliver felt his eyelids getting heavier. The fatigue, the burdens that he had accumulated over the last months and pain attenuation were all responsible. And Felicity's caresses too were not helping him to keep himself awake. She could see the effort he was making to not succumb to the dream which his body was demanding.
"Go to sleep Oliver, you need it," she asked.
"No, I'm fine."
"I'm not going anywhere, I promise you. I'm going to be with you. I'm not going to leave you alone. You can trust me."
"I do."
"So go to sleep," she pressed again.
"I can't... I don't want… I don't want to go back there. Not tonight."
"Where is 'there'?"
"Lian Yu."
Felicity was reminded of the conversation she had had with Diggle about the effects that the island had had on him: the need to have everything under control, the hypervigilance, the memories that were assaulting him during the day... And the nightmares that were doing it at night. And she knew that it was what he meant.
"I'm here Oliver. I'm not going to let you go there, and if you do, I will bring you back before you realize it. I promise."
He looked at her. She remained silent, but her eyes told him all he needed to know. She was being honest, she wouldn't leave him, she would be there for him, and he could trust her. Of course he could trust her! After all, it was Felicity, the remarkable Felicity Smoak.
"Oliver please, trust me," she begged more than asked.
"Always," he said before he closed his eyes.
Thanks you for reading! And please don't forget to leave me reviews so I'll know what you think. Thank you very much!
