This is just a blurb of sorts based on a prompt. It takes place several months after the end of "Glimmer of Twilight" (of which the ending will be written some day!). Hope you enjoy it and thanks for reading.
Her laughter broke the silence.
Matt looked over at his best friend who sat surrounded by a small group of their friends in the backyard of her house. He never would grow tired of hearing that beautiful sound which had become a more frequent occurrence as of late since they had returned back to Houston after having been on the run around the world for so long.
Two months had passed since their exile had ended and he had to head back to L.A the next morning to pick up his workload where he had dropped it some time ago. Roy had already flown back from Houston to help him out because the cases had really piled up since he had been gone and they needed to be inventoried and scheduled for investigation. He had hoped that his house had still been standing until Roy had called him last night to assure him that the next door neighbor had kept it in good shape. Matt knew he owed the guy a few cases of beer when he finally returned home.
His sense of responsibility is what had drawn him back to the life he had rudely left…twice in a relatively short period of time and it's what had brought him back to L.A. again. But did he really want to leave the state that birthed and raised him again and returned to his adopted city? Of course that hadn't been what had behind his hesitancy at all. It was the people he would be leaving behind here.
It had seemed like his whole social network minus his uncle and cousin had picked up stakes and returned to Houston at some point or another. Chris had moved to assume the vice presidency of Houston Enterprises and had proven to be a great success, even forcing Murray the corporate president to take notice. She had met and fallen in love with a retired police officer named Dan and they had created a life together ,one they hoped to add children to fairly soon. Rhonda and Fran, the women he had met when searching for C.J. in Arizona a year or so ago had also moved to Houston to work for his women's foundation with Fran serving as its director. Both women had also fallen in love with men with Fran marrying Carlos who worked with Dan's security firm and Rhonda engaging in some form of relationship with Jonathan who still hadn't decided where to settle down or what to do with his life next.
She kept busy working and waited patiently for him to sort his life out because she had grown quite fond of him.
It had been great for C.J. who had worked hard to create a new life for herself here to have her friends around her. She had rented a house with plenty of outside space and she had been working with a great therapist with advanced training in traumatic psychology while putting her law degree and a nearly bottomless energy reserve into helping women in crisis.
And she had learned how to relax and have fun again at least with her close circle of friends who looked after her. She hadn't been ready for anything else in her life except what she could hold onto and build upon to slowly build her future. During the week, she worked hard at her job, at the gym honing her muscles and defensive skills and then she engaged in the arduous step by step process of rebuilding her identity that she often felt had been stripped from her.
Matt had been helping Dan take his company in a different direction with offering customized security plans, much different work than he had ever done before. He missed investigating but the time he spent with his best friend had proven priceless. He wanted to be there for her just as he had been for him during the parts of his life when he had struggled to gain back what had been lost. So he spent time with her and he did a lot of listening and learning about his friend.
Not to mention having opportunities listening to her laughter like now. Music to his ears, he didn't even need to know its source.
"Oh Rhonda, you really shouldn't be telling such raunchy jokes," Fran scolded, "We've got men folk here with tender ears."
"Yeah they might not think they're so funny," Chris chimed in.
C.J. reined in her laughter a little bit.
"I think it's hilarious," she said, "Reminds me of my own high school prom."
Chris blanched.
"I don't even want to think about mine," She said, "My date carried me up to the hotel room and then just as he carries me over the threshold, he tripped over it and broke his wrist."
"Ouch," Rhonda said, "No I got lucky on my prom night a couple of times. Of course he dumped me before graduation."
Chris frowned.
"I thought only guys were allowed to call it 'getting lucky'."
Rhonda shrugged.
"To each his own," she said, "although I've always believed in equality between the sexes and what's good for the gander…"
"Is good for the goose," the others finished in unison before laughing again.
Rhonda looked over at the men.
"Do you think they know what we're talking about?"
Fran shrugged.
"Nah… they're too busy talking about power tools to know that we're talking about the same thing."
Rhonda just rolled her eyes at her friend.
C.J. washed the dishes after her guests had finished eating while Chris prepared the ice cream to place alongside the slices of the granola pie that Rhonda had brought. She had gotten herself on this health kick since she started hanging with Jonathon.
"I love her pies," Chris said.
"Me too," C.J. said, "I'm trying to master pumpkin pie in time for Thanksgiving."
Chris nodded.
"We could switch and you could do the stuffing instead."
C.J. chuckled.
"Maybe next year…"
"Is Matt coming?"
C.J. shrugged.
"It might depend on his workload," she said, "It's really piled up since he's left."
"He needs to hire more investigators so he'll have more time to spend out here," Chris said, "We miss him and Dan appreciates the work he's done for him."
"I think he misses investigating cases," C.J. said, "He's set to start working with Roy as soon as he returns to L.A."
"How's it been with him being here," Chris asked, getting the silverware out for the dessert.
C.J. paused, trying to figure out how to put it into words the past couple of months they had spent together.
"It's been great," she said finally, "I don't have to explain anything with him."
"You've both been friends a long time…"
C.J. went to help Chris with the dessert.
"He's been a really great friend," she said, "but his life is waiting for him in L.A. and I'm trying to find myself again here."
Everyone swooped in when they smelled the delicious pie and soon consumed it down to just a few crumbs, even before the ice cream could melt. C.J. enjoyed two pieces having regained the weight she had lost and filling out again, though her tough workouts kept her in fighting shape. Especially the rounds of sparring she did with her trainer who had helped her improve her kickboxing skills. After warming up on the bag, she hit the ring with a partner and sparred, practicing her blows and her kicks not to mention her blocking skills. The fact that she saw someone else in the ring instead of her partner helped greatly.
When she saw him at night, not nearly as much because in her dreams, she still felt he controlled her.
She still struggled to sleep at night and on some nights Matt did as well because her dreams woke him up and he refused to leave her until she had fallen back asleep again. The therapist had told her that over time as she confronted her demons, they would fade and be replaced by better ones which left her feeling empowered rather than overwhelmed. She had to claim ownership of her dreams like she did her reality.
Sometimes she didn't know which would be harder. She hated that her mind had turned into a canvas for the ghosts to return. But the daylight hours had belonged to her.
During those times, she didn't dream, she laughed and enjoyed the hours spent with her closest friends even as she tried not to think about Matt's departure tomorrow. His bag had been picked, his flight plan filed with Houston International. His helicopter waiting at LAX for him to fly back to his office to pick up his car that had been sitting parked for months.
She didn't want to think about him leaving, just that she would miss him. She would watch him board his jet on the tarmac without telling him.
Matt took the dishes to the kitchen and when C.J. tried to help him, he had her go sit on the couch and listen to her friends dish about their men as if they didn't know they were overheard. He guessed they would figure it out on the way home.
"I think they're on to us," Rhonda said, "Well Jonathan's still back in Colorado but I'm talking about Carlos and Dan."
Fran nodded.
"And Matt…"
C.J. looked at them funny.
"There's nothing going on between us," she said, "We've always been best friends."
Rhonda rolled her eyes.
"Oh please, I don't think he looks at you that way," she said, "I think he sees something else that he likes very much."
The laughter left C.J.'s face.
"I think you're wrong," she said, "Besides, I couldn't ever be what he wanted…or any man for that matter."
"You don't mean that," Chris said.
"Yes I do," C.J. said, looking at her scarred hands, "I feel I've lost a part of myself I can't live without and I don't know if it's coming back."
All the women turned to look at her and she wished she could take back what she had just said.
"I'm sure it seems that way," Rhonda said, "but that won't last forever. You just need time and a lot of talking and you'll feel like yourself again."
C.J. didn't see that happening no matter what her therapist had told her. That time heals all wounds and that would include hers as well but every day she felt what had been taken away from her more acutely. Her friends all had loving relationships with men but the thought of any man touching her in an intimate way still filled her with fear so intense it made her sick. She looked at a man who looked at her with interest and she saw her rapist and nothing that she had done in therapy had changed that. At least when surrounded by friends whose humor ran a bit raunchy at times, she didn't feel totally alienated anymore.
No, her life had been irrevocably changed which as happy as she felt for her friends, made her feel an intense loneliness at the same time. But she covered it well with a smile she plastered on her face to keep those feelings where they belonged, deeply inside her as she said goodbye when they left to go home.
Afterward, she walked into the kitchen to clean up but saw Matt already in there busy with rinsing out the grill in the sink. She went to store some of the leftovers in containers so she wouldn't have to worry about having to prepare dinner from scratch on nights she worked late hours.
Coming home to an empty house was going to be a challenge because the nights still frightened her, with the shadows cast in darkness, anyone of which could be him. But Matt had to return to L.A. and it was time for their lives to return back to some sense of normality.
Matt watched her working, her face pensive in thought and he already missed her. The past two months had kept him busy by day but he had enjoyed the quiet evenings they had spent together broken up with a few evenings out having dinner together or spending time with friends. She had always been beautiful but in the past two months, she had begun to recover from the sheer physical exhaustion and stress caused by life on the run while having to cope with having lived a nightmare. And even when she doubted it, he knew she had begun to find her way again in ways that were noticeable.
He knew it still haunted her because he had spent hours at night sitting with her until she fell asleep from the bad dreams that had woken her up. When she worried about him losing sleep, he gently reminded her of the times that she had done it for him.
"What time are you leaving," she asked, stacking the containers to put in the refrigerator.
"About 10 a.m.," he said, "so I'll go to the airport at 8 to do the preflight."
She nodded.
"It's meant a lot to me for you to be here," she said, "so thank you."
"I wouldn't be anywhere else," he said, "and I'll be back when I get caught up with my workload."
"You don't have to…"
He sighed.
"I want to come back," he said, "Most of the important people in my life are here now and I've learned how important it is to focus on what's important and for me that's family."
"Me too, even though my friends are my family," she said, "That includes you too."
He heard the wistfulness in her voice and it tore at him. Because an integral part of him didn't want to get on that plane in the morning to leave her, putting more miles between them. He knew that she needed to heal herself and find her own way back to the life she wanted to live and she needed space to do that. She needed space from him because he struggled with his own feelings about what they had just experienced together and his relationship with her.
"I'll be up to see you leave but I have an early court hearing," she said.
He nodded and she smiled up at him.
"You're going home Houston," she said, "You should be happy. Your career's waiting for you, your family and who knows maybe you'll meet someone."
"What about you," he asked her.
She shrugged.
"I've got so much to sort out inside my head first before I can even know what I want," she said, "So many of the things that made me who I am, the feelings I had about people, about…men terrify me now."
She ran her hand through her hair, wondering why she had started talking. She didn't want their final hours together to be spent going over fears and regrets. She wanted them to focus on what was positive for both of them. For him, that might mean finding love in someone else, for her that might mean finding what was missing in herself, putting the pieces back together so she would feel whole again.
Matt reached out to brush a strand of hair off of her face.
"C.J. you've been through a lot and you've come through it," he said, "You're going to find your way back to what you want. You deserve the best that life had to offer."
"You have to embrace life to find what's good and that's what scares me," she said, "I'm so scared I'll fall in love with someone and every time I look at him, I'll see someone else."
"He can't hurt you anymore," Matt said.
"I know but he can still haunt me."
He didn't know what to say so he just put his arms around her and held her close to him. She rested her head against his chest for a while as they stood there in her kitchen. The feelings that swirled through him threatened to overwhelm him but he knew she needed him first.
"Do you want me to stay…"
She almost said yes, that she really didn't want him to walk out the door tomorrow and get on his jet to leave her and go back to L.A. but she stopped herself from saying the words out loud. Because she knew if she said them, he wouldn't leave and she needed him to, not because she wanted it, but to begin the journey she needed to take to take her life back. She loved him in ways that she shouldn't and that complicated matters further.
She didn't want to become afraid of him.
So tomorrow morning, she would be putting on her game face and she would hug him goodbye one last time and watch him leave. Wishing him all the best while keeping her heart locked up inside of her.
And as Matt looked at her, he knew that he'd be back. He would return and continue to support her struggle to rebuild her life apart from him but not away from him. And he would encourage her every step along the way even as he wished life had worked out differently, that the year had never happened.
Because he loved her.
