If I lose myself.

Ok, so first I should've wrote this author's note before, but I didn't have the time to write it. First, this is written by me, and my friend baelfirestark (is her tumblr account). We're writing this story on tumblr, and decided to publish it here just for fun. This is kind of an AU fanfic, where the events of the Dark Curse never happened. It takes place after Hook gives Bae to the lost boys. Also if you have any suggestions of how we can improve our writing, feel welcome to comment.

Chapter 1.

Baelfire gave Captain Hook an angry look before a sack was put over his head. He felt the rowboat start to move with heavy rocking. If this was Baelfire's first time at sea, he probably would vomit. The Jolly Roger did not made him feel like to puke, just queasy.

Hook thought Baelfire, Baelfire thought he could have a life with Hook, that he could trust a pirate. But he was wrong.

Baelfire felt the rowboat touch land. That's when rough hands hauled him up and push him on the Neverland sand. Rough hands lifted him up and the sack was removed to reveal a sandy haired, green eye boy who he recognize as the pied piper smiling at him

"You", gasp Baelfire.

"It's good to see an old friend" spoke the pied piper.

Baelfire remembered what his papa told him about the true identity of the pied piper.

"You are Peter Pan" said Baelfire, "not the pied piper".

Peter rolled his eyes, "yes I should have told you my real name, but when you think about it, pied piper sounds way more interesting and captivating".

Peter only received silence from Baelfire

Peter returned with a smile, "Welcome to Neverland Baelfire. This is your own personal playground. You can do what you want here, there are no rules except one important rule. You must obey my command and do any task I set you."

There was something about Peter's smile that seemed different than the first time Baelfire met him. His smile seem more sinister. This bring words papa told him. "He cannot be trusted". He remembered what Wendy told him about Neverland. It's not a place he wants to be at.

Careful with his words, Baelfire said "Peter I thank you for inviting me to join your lost boy group. But all I want is to go back to London".

Peter laughed, "I heard you were very fond of the Darlings but this is not an invitation laddie, anyone who sets foot on Neverland is never allowed to leave".

"But you can leave," argued Baelfire.

"I am the king laddie, I can do as I please".

Now Baelfire knows it's Peter, not the shadow, who decided who leaves or stay.

Baelfire did not want to be a lost one. So he ran but Felix was faster. Felix grab his arms real tight and pulled him towards Peter. Bae tried to resist but Felix was much stronger than him. When back to facing Peter, the other lost boy grip his arm.

Peter gave Bae a forced look of disappointment. He nodded to Felix. Felix loosen his grip on Baelfire and punches him on the stomach, Bae doubled over in pain.

"Listen here laddie", spoke Peter. "We lost boys don't play nice with boys like you. You broke a rule, I could have done to you a lot worse than this. But since i am a nice boy, a punch will suffice for now."

Peter walked closer to Baelfire until there is not much space left between them, starring straight in to Baelfire eyes. "I will warn you again, you must obey my command."

Baelfire starred at those green eyes, he was terrified by this boy who hold so much power. But he was not going to become his servant.

"Go to hell", shouted Baelfire.

This received a punch on the face from Peter. Bae felt blood streaming from his lip.

"Let's try a different tactic shall we", said Peter. "If you don't obey me, I will bring Wendy back here and rip her shadow in front of you."

Baelfire remembered how sad and scared Wendy was when she told him about Neverland. He trembled in anger. "Don't you dare touch her, I will obey your command but please don't bring Wendy back here".

Peter grin. "Now that what I like to hear. Let's go the camp".


The camps was lively, full of dancing boys. Some of them playing a handmade drum.

Baelfire sat at the log. He was not in the party mood. He notice Felix and the other lost boys laughing at him. "You're weak" said one of the lost boys. Baelfire wanted to punch them right now but he did not want to cause any more trouble than he already did.

So he calmed his anger by thinking of Wendy and her family. Thinking of the good times he spent with them. Like the first time Wendy and he met, the stories Wendy told her brothers and him, the pretend sword fights with John and Michael. And Wendy teaching Bae how to dance.

Peter joined Baelfire. "Why you not join the party?" asked Peter

"I feel tired" said Baelfire.

"Oh", said Peter. "Perhaps tomorrow you will feel more participative".

The next day Peter saw that Baelfire was not as participative as Peter expect him to be. Baelfire went with all the activities like hunting and gathering pixie dust, but he was always at the back of the group and did not do much. He wasn't really in to the activities. The only activity he was really in to was sword play. The lost boys took pleasure in giving him cuts and bruises. But Baelfire had fire, he manage to give them some cuts and bruises too.

This went on like this for the next few days

Baelfire made no friend with any of the lost boys. Instead he met a lady named Tinkerbell during his free time exploring the forest.

"You're new here", said Tinkerbell. Tinkerbell thought, Baelfire looked different from the rest of the lost boys. He had that lost boy pelt but underneath it was other worldly clothes. And Bae had many cuts and bruises.

"I arrived here a few days ago" said Baelfire.

"I guess the shadow took you", said Tinkerbell.

Baelfire nodded. "But how did you get here?"

"It's better to tell you at my treehouse", said Tinkerbell

They exchange names and set for the treehouse.

At Tinkerbell treehouse, Tinkerbell helped take care of Baelfire wounds. They sat on her bed and exchange stories. Tinkerbell who use to be a fairy is from the same world as Baelfire but lost her powers for helping who she thought was her friend. Tinkerbell wasn't sure how she exactly how she end up here. She just did a lot of travelling and somehow end up in Neverland.

Baelfire told her about what happen with his father and about the Darlings. Tinkerbell never met a boy so brave as Baelfire before.

So she said "why don't you and I keep each other company? You can come to my tree house anytime you like."

"I would like that," said Baelfire.


The day after Bae's first meet with Tinkerbell, when the boys were left to do their own thing. Bae left to go to Tinkerbell tree house. Peter saw Bae left and called Felix too him. "We need to do something about Baelfire" he said.

"Just send him back", said Felix. "You don't need him".

"Oh I need him" said Peter, "see a long time ago. I was close friends with his father Rumpelstiltskin. We promised to be best friends forever no matter what. But when I asked him to come to Neverland with me he refused, and from that moment we lost our friendship".

Felix smiled. "So Baelfire is here because you want revenge".

Peter nodded. "Imagine turning the dark one's son in to one of us. Imagine the look on rumple's face when realize what becomes of his son".

"I feel your delight in that," said Felix. "But Baelfire is not really one of us yet".

"You're right Felix", agreed Peter. "What is the thing we lost boys have in common?"

"We feel unloved and lost", replied Felix.

"Exactly" said peter. "We need to reinforce that to Baelfire. We need to make him feel that no one wants him".

"The Darlings want him."

Felix look at peter who is waiting for him to realize their plan. Felix knows where this is going

"You want to erase Baelfire memories of the Darlings" realized Felix.

"Not just memories of the Darlings" said Peter. "Every happy memory he ever had in his sad life".

"And how are you going to do that?" asked Felix.

"I have my ways", said Peter with an evil grin.