Dean's fifteen and Sammy's eleven.
But he feels like he's in his twenties and Sammy's just a baby. Still needs Dean to watch him and feed him and teach him and tell him nice little lies like "Dad's coming home soon" and "There aren't any monsters in the closet". The last one doesn't really count as a lie though, because Dean still checks under the bed and in the closet because one day there might be one.
But really he feels like he's been cheated. Cheated out of a Mom and a Dad and a house. Cheated out of a childhood and a friend and a life outside of this mess.
So Dean's fifteen, but he feels much older than that. Feels like he's been through so much more than any other fifteen year old. And he has.
Dean's fifteen when he slips out the door one night, hoping the click of the door shutting doesn't wake Sammy up.
Dean's fifteen and just a boy but he feels like a man in his dad's too-big leather jacket with a cigarette between his lips.
He walks down some street in some town and it doesn't even matter because every city looks the same after a while.
Dean's fifteen but the hookers on the street look at him like he's old enough. He could hand them a fake ID that would say the same thing, and give them cash from a wallet that isn't his, but he keeps walking.
Dean's fifteen when he buys a few bags of chips and a razor at a convenience store, but the lady behind the counter looks at him with sad eyes, like he's an abandoned pup. He wonders if its because it looks like he hasn't eaten in days, because he hasn't.
Dean's fifteen and he's shaving his head in the 7-eleven bathroom with the cheap razor because he's seen fugitives do it in movies. Because he knows his dad will be so pissed, so furious when he gets back to the motel room and Sammy is alone. Because he knows his dad will hunt him down and skin him alive for being so selfish and stupid and irresponsible. So Dean shaves his head hoping it will buy him some time.
Dean's fifteen when he gets on the bus for he doesn't know where. He thinks he should feel happy. He thinks he should be glad to get away from his fucked up life. But he's not. He feels like a traitor. He feels small and insignificant and alone. And he is.
