c o o k i n g d a n n a
f a n f i c t i o n v. 02 –jumbo deidara and sasori
Sasori had not seen Deidara all day. This was a pleasant surprise for him, as most days Deidara would dog him all day long, asking stupid questions like 'Where do babies come from?'. Sasori shrugged it off and told himself Deidara had gotten a life and went to dog someone else.
Thoroughly bored, Sasori went out into the Akatsuki garden to go into his shed where he stored most of his unfinished puppets, and maybe work on one. As he drew nearer, he heard the sounds of drilling coming from the shed.
Sasori came in, his eyes twitching in annoyance. "Excuse me," he began. "But this is my shed. It even has my name-"
He stopped, mid-sentence. Deidara was sitting there, wearing a pair of peppy safety goggles and drilling together what looked like a small game chip. The type that looked like it would go into a PSP.
Dei looked up, turned off the drill and propped the goggles up on top of his head. "Hi," he said.
"What are you doing in my shed?" Sasori said irritably, his red hair curling in distaste.
"What does it look like I'm doing, un?" Deidara said, picking up a screw and screwing in a piece.
"Would you rather be a widow or a divorcee?" Sasori said, quite annoyed.
"What?" Deidara said absentmindedly, lip sticking out of his first mouth in concentration.
"You're getting sawdust on my puppets."
"Oh yeah, un. I forgot about that." Deidara said. "Sorry about that. I'll clean up later."
Sasori sighed. "Get out, Deidara-kouhai."
"Wait. Almost done…"
"I said now."
Deidara grinned and thrust the completed chip into the sunlight. "DONE!" He cheered. He stuck a sticker on it. "Here, Sasori no Danna, why don't you try it out, un?"
Sasori looked away. "Oh fine."
Deidara passed him a pink PSP with light blue marquee lights forming the words 'tatzz . lil . miss . glamorous 33 hartz' and the chip with relish. "Have fun, un." He grinned at the disgruntled Sasori.
Sasori rolled his eyes as shoujo-esque kanji letters popped up on the screen in front of a pot steaming over a stove next to a table with a pink and white plaid table cloth. "Deidara, this is just a copy of Cooking Mama," he snorted.
"Oh no, it isn't, un!" Deidara grinned.
Sasori gawked at the screen. He reread the shoujo-esque letters. "Cooking DANNA?" He shouted. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO, DEIDARA?"
Deidara grinned and dodged Sasori's blow. "Keep playing."
Sasori rolled his eyes and looked closer at Cooking Danna. He noticed that Cooking Danna looked very similar to himself in ways-red hair, brown eyes, long lashes, underweight, and the parts where his joints connected…Deidara had completely twisted the game to look like him.
Cooking Danna no longer said 'PERFECT! JUST LIKE MAMA!' Instead, he said 'PERFECT, JUST LIKE MY ART!' Meals included stir-fried puppet head with clay dumplings in udon and soup.
"I'm thinking of releasing it to the market, un. What do you think?"
"Five bucks it won't sell one copy and that Nintendo will sue you."
Deidara shrugged.
Two months later, Deidara was richer than Kakuzu ever was, much to Kakuzu's distaste. Sasori owed Deidara five dollars. He didn't talk to Deidara for two weeks.■
