ANOTHER ONE. AAH. CLOUDS POV. AAHHHH.
-is writing this and watching Advent Children at the same time-
Sqee! I'm now officially a Kadaj fangirl. –Heart- I could watch him give that sexy speech to them kids over and over again…-faints-
AHEM. ANYWAY.
Another KadajXCloud story. With…8 times the ANGST!
XD Not in this chapter, necessarily, but it will get very angsty.
Enjoy, and don't forget to review!
o0o0o0o
I never wanted to be in love.
It always seemed like an extra burden to carry, the knowledge of letting someone bear your heart, able to bend and break it at will. I learned the hard way that love only leads to agony.
I remember when I first met Zack. He changed my life. He was a friend, someone I could count on. But over time, he became more than that. I learned of the love beyond friendship, all thanks to him. Zack was my literal savior, an angel flown into my life. I felt I didn't deserve him, sometimes. But he was always there, whether he wanted to or not.
But then…
He was ripped away from me. My heart shattered, and I vowed I would never love anyone as much as I did Zack. It would only end up worse than before, and I'd have to pick up even more pieces than before.
I didn't realize how easily a vow to yourself could be broken.
It was a cold day, in the middle of December. I sat in the old church, in the midst of my personal field of yellow and white lilies, neither they nor I minding the nipping cold of the windless day.
You glided in, almost silently, and I wouldn't have noticed you if I wasn't facing the church door. You cast away the shocked look on my face and stopped just short of a frost covered lily, feral eyes boring into mine.
"Niisan." You almost whispered, your voice wavering slightly.
"K-Kadaj…?"Was all I could manage in your presence.
You reached behind you and began to unsheathe your blade, a strange look in your visible eye. Your animalistic pupils seemed even more razor sharp, the swirling greens hazed over into one solid colour. It made you look almost… hypnotized.
"She told me to come. She told me to finish what he left." You hissed at me, your blade fully drawn.
"She said it would make her extremely happy," You pointed your sword at me.
"If you were gone."
I stood up, reaching for my sword; I cursed fate for letting me leave it on Fenrir.
But I had no need for a sword at that moment; you dropped your own, screaming and clutching your head in pain, your knees buckling. I did the only thing that would register in my mind: I rushed to catch your falling body.
"Kadaj!' You writhed in pain in my arms; I could only wonder what was going on in your head at the time.
Platinum hair was strewn all around your pained face, and I could only watch in horror.
"No, Okaasan! Anyone but him! Please!"
My eyes widened in shock at his sudden words. He was still shaking and writhing, fighting some inner conflict I couldn't help him with, no matter how much I wanted to.
"Okaasan, please! I-I'm- Augh!" He shrieked, gloved hands clawing at the edges of his eyes.
Then I finally realized. It was Jenova that doing this to him. She was in his head, commanding him to do something, and he was fighting her. The reason, I knew not, but he wasn't giving in to Jenova, finally. For that, at least, I was relieved.
Until I looked back to his twisted face. My eyes widened in shock as his own eyes shot open, revealing a whole new, terribly familiar face.
For the splittest of seconds, Kadaj's face resembled his, the nightmare's. He was grinning, malice stitched into every fibre of his face.
And then he was gone, leaving me with an even worse sight.
"Okaasan…! He-" Kadaj's eyes opened dangerously wide, his mouth cracked open. His entire body suddenly froze, eyes filled to the brim with something close to fear. I could only stare down at him worriedly, until upon his face donned a sickly grey colour. His silvery hair slowly turned the same tint, turning into smoke with the change in color. The same happened to his face, and soon, maybe, his entire body. Absolute horror etched into my face, I did the only thing I could.
"K-Kadaj!!"
The smoke immediately returned to his body, turning him whole once again. He suddenly sprang back to life, coughing and gasping for breath.
"Kadaj?"
He whipped his head over to me, eyes wide.
"N-niisan?"
I nodded, swallowing the fear I had had for him.
"Why am I…? Ah!" He froze, memories of the battle fought in his head all coming back to him.
"O-Okaasan…"
"Kadaj. Are you okay?" I asked, trying to keep Jenova out of his mind.
He shook his head, cupping his face in his hands.
"Why did Okaasan…want me to-?"
I frowned, picking Kadaj up bridal-style briefly and setting him down on his own feet. He looked up at me, childish curiosity furrowing his eyebrows.
"Why'd you…?"
"You need to learn to stand on your own two feet," I mumbled, hoping he got the literal and metaphorical meaning of what I said. He leaned on Jenova for guidance; I think you need to learn to think for yourself.
But he just frowned, stomping his foot down onto a white lily.
"I can stand just fine, Niisan."
"Stop calling me that."
"Eh? Why?" He raised an eyebrow curiously.
"Because I'm not your brother," I laid a hand on his shoulder, looking into his feral eyes and wondering what was possessing me to say all of these things.
"And Jenova isn't your mother."
His eyes widened, his body tensing but not moving from under my hand. He shook his head, platinum hair wildly flying around his face.
"S-stop saying that."
True, I've tried to get that simple fact through his head many times before, but he always stuck firm to his beliefs. Jenova had a firm grip on him; I felt the need to unhinge her claws and free him.
"Kadaj, listen to me. What just happened is all 'Mother's' fault. You're just her puppet to bring him back, nothing more to her. Definitely not a son,"
I paused, letting him take that in before continuing.
"She's using you, using love as an excuse to command you. You don't have to listen to her, Kadaj,"
He looked at me with tear filled eyes, his head shaking back and forth slightly.
"You don't need her to be loved, to be cared for…"
I stopped for a moment.
"Call her what she really is."
"I-"
"Call her by her real name, Kadaj."
You swallowed, closing your eyes and turning your head away from my gaze.
"She's…Jen-Jenov..a…"
"What else…?"
"The…Calamity from the Skies…Jenova." You immediately tensed and clenched your teeth, probably expecting Jenova to punish you. When nothing happened, you relaxed, opening your eyes and smiling weakly at me.
I smiled. "See? She can't bother you if you know what she really is."
He nodded, looking down at his feet, shifting nervously.
"…Nii- um, Cloud?"
"Hm?"
His answer was hesitant. "…Why did you help me? Y'know, with…J-Jenova."
I frowned. Why did I? Because I cared about you. More than you knew. Your face, your body, your personality, your you, I didn't want Jenova to make you into him. Because I think I can consider you a friend, and you I.
"…Because I don't want her to hurt you." I mumbled, looking away.
I felt your hand on my shoulder, but didn't look back at you.
"Thank you, Cloud."
I finally turned back to watch you walk away, and immediately regretted it.
You took on the appearance of a black-haired SOILDER, buster sword easily matching your height, if not higher, confidently walking out the church doors without another glance my way.
And as you slipped out the doors, you were you again, a silver haired youth, someone I considered a friend.
But maybe, is history repeating itself? I can't help but feel deep in my heart that I could lose you…
And that I could be falling in love with you.
xXxXxXxXxX
Yay? Nay? ANGST!?! =P Tell me watcha think!
Review, please! I put a lot of effort into this, even though it might not show!
OOH. I have a question. Does anyone else think Kadaj's sexeh Japanese voice sounds like Atsuma's sexeh Japanese voice? Y'know, Atsuma from Enchanted Arms? Anyone? PLEASE?! It's bugging the hell out of me, but I'm too lazy to look up their voice actors!
HALP.
Oh, and the next chapter will be out soooon, since I, for like, the first time, am proud of a story. =3
Review, please!!
PS. If you're wondering what Cloud and Kadaj's relationship before this happened, I guess you can say they're kind of friends…sorry for not making that clear. T.T Don't hates me, crazy people who care about that. X3
