Disclaimer: I do not own anything. This is based on multiple books, and my imagination. (Some are dirty thoughts. lol.)
Thanks to My beta, Twisted Puppy, she rocks!! J She also added sentences here and there.
This is A/U. Seasons 3 and up fair game. (Mostly in Sara's POV)
I couldn't shake that, sick- to- your- stomach feeling that I've been having for the past week now. I thought we were getting along so well now; hell he even asked me to move in with him. It was exciting because it meant a chance to move on and get over Grissom once and for all. I actually decided to take off work early and surprise him. I was the one who was surprised, however, when I walked into our bedroom. He was bare assed and buck naked with his head buried between some bimbo's legs. The blonde's reaction wasn't even remorseful; it was more triumphant and feral looking. She proceeded to grin at me, spread her legs wider and began to fake an orgasm. It just had to be fake, right? Hank didn't seem to notice or care. I just stood there taking it all in; then Hank lifted his head. His face was coated in the woman's juices.
"Sara?" He croaked. He scrambled from the bed but ended up getting caught in some blanket, landing face first on the floor. Serves him right, Fucking jackass. How could he do this to me again? I turned and left without much faltering in my step.
I wasn't that heart-broken. Humiliated and embarrassed, yes; but at least I still had some of my dignity left. Thank God I found out before things got too serious between us. I needed to leave Las Vegas to get my priorities straight. When had my life become one big mass of confusion? I was beginning to lose myself in the disarray. The phone rang and I checked the caller ID-Hank. I am so not answering that.
Beep "Hey Sara! Are you there? It's Hank. I just wanted to say I'm sorry you saw that, I didn't mean it. It only happened one time. Please give me a chance to explain in person. I'll never do it again, Please believe me. Call me please. I guess I'll talk to you tonight. I miss you. Bye."
After listening to his bull, I just had to leave. That's how I ended up here, renting a cabin, at the beautiful wild-life refuge. I sat here listening to the birds, watching the wildlife, and taking in the tranquility aspect of it all. I didn't let anyone know I was coming up here. I packed up some clothes, got in my car and just drove. I didn't care where I ended up; I just wanted to get away from everything and everyone. I mean hasn't my life been bad enough? Coming from and abusive, poverty stricken, highly dysfunctional family should have been enough suffering to last a girl for a life time. I had made it through that and still it came back to haunt me, in some way, shape or form. Hank treated me no better. Why do I always pick the assholes? I deserved better, but I wanted someone who was unattainable; I wanted Grissom. There was just something about Grissom that pulled you in and kept you wanting more. I believe I've loved him since the moment I met him. His electric blue eyes, his cleft chin, and that boyish type grin. His body wasn't bad either. I usually felt pure bliss around him, until I found out about the ladies in his life and of course Lady Heather. I mean I only dated Hank because Grissom made it perfectly clear that he didn't want anything to do with me. What can I say; I'm a woman with needs, desires, and my toys only take me so far. My dreams with him were good, but in reality I wanted a warm body to snuggle with during movie night, cuddle with under the covers, and walk hand in hand with. I wanted more, I didn't get it. I haven't gotten many phone calls since I've been here. Cath called me asking me where the hell I was, I told her it was none of her damn business. Nicky and Warrick called and asked if I was alright or needed anything, I told them no and I'd see them soon. Greg called and was worried and of course asked if I needed or wanted company, I had to laugh and told him I was fine and I'm enjoying my solitude right now, but if I did want the company he'd be the first one I called. That made him laugh too. Then Jim called too.
"Hello." I answered.
"Hey doll! How are you doing?"
"Jim! I'm doing really well, believe it or not. Not to be rude, but are you calling to give me shit like everyone else?" I sighed. He chuckled.
"Well, I'm actually calling in regards to all these roses in the break room, from a certain paramedic. He must have really screwed up. So doll, what do you want me to do with them?"
"Actually I don't care what you do with them. Throw them out. Give them away. Hell you can shred them for all I care. I'm done with that pompous, arrogant, self-absorbed, egotistical…."
"Ok, ok. I get it. He's a major asshole." Jim broke into her tirade.
"That's just the tip of the iceberg, there's more to it but I'm not getting into that right now."
"You know I love you like a daughter, right?"
"Yeah I do Jim and I love you like a dad."
"Ummm. Would you like me to talk to him? You know kick his ass, or some sense into that small brain of his?" That brought a smile to my face.
"No, you don't have to. It's over and I'm ok with that. Believe it or not, I really am." I replied.
"Listen, I'm running late for work but if you need anything, anything at all, don't hesitate to call okay?" I hear nothing but love and warmth in his words.
"You'll be the first, Promise! Love ya Jim."
"Love you to doll, bye."
"Bye."
I was slightly depressed that Grissom didn't call. I don't remember how it got so bad between us. We used to be friends, student/ mentor, and now we barely talk. I always wonder what he's doing and who he's with. I know, bad mistake, but I can't help it. I mean that's what I'm doing here in the first place is trying to get everything sorted out and move on. Create a happy, less stressed work environment, and get over my delusions.
I have been here for a week and a half relaxing and trying to sort out my life. I've
seen abundant wild life, listened to birds sing, sun bathed, and even skinny dipped one
night. That was the night I felt someone or something watching me, I haven't done it
since. I did ask the lodge and they said there's not many visitors around here this
time of year, and that I was the only person renting right now. Good, that means there are
less people to irritate me. I do value my personal space and I find it vaguely funny that it
doesn't bother me to be alone as much as I thought it would. The past few nights I have
heard howling in the distance. I would love to see wolves up close, not in zoos, but in their natural habitat. They have dwindled in numbers over the years and
almost been hunted to extinction, I think that's why my mind and body brought me here.
It's such a beautiful day today. Sun is shining, birds are singing and there's a nice breeze blowing off the lake creating a slight chill. I grab my sweater, coffee, paper and head out on the front porch. As I sit there sipping my coffee, I wonder if It would be safe to take a walk or would it be dangerous. I don't really care about the danger right now. I set my things on the porch and stand. I look around and notice a small path, so I start walking. I take a deep breath of that wonderful earthy pine fragrance. In Vegas all you'd smell is cigarettes, dust, sand and sometimes stale booze.
I come to opening, a small meadow; it has wild flowers and a small stream. It was gorgeous and serene. I found the perfect spot by the stream, a nice soft patch of grass to lay down and rest. As I lay there and listen to the gentle sounds, I closed my eyes. Next thing I hear is movement, leaves crunching, and small twigs breaking. I jump up and looked around. Nothing, absolutely nothing. I so needed this time off, hallucinations are not something I like to go through or deal with. I look down at my watch and notice, it'll be dark soon, and so I stretch and start my journey back to my cabin. I'll have to come back here tomorrow.
