Kingdom Hearts: The Outtakes

Chapter 1: Sora's Awakening

TAKE 1

Roxas: Sora... You're lucky. Looks like my summer vacation...

(Sora emits a high-pitched fart. Roxas stands there looking dumbfounded, then bursts into laughter)

Sora: (sleepily) Damnit, too many burritos...

(Roxas laughs harder)

TAKE 2

Roxas: Sora, you're lu-

(Roxas bursts into laughter again)

Sora: I didn't even fart that time!

TAKE 3

Roxas: Sora, you're lucky. It looks like my summer vacation... Is ov-

(Sora pounces on Roxas)

Sora: GET INTO MEEEEEEE!

(Roxas goes into a laughing fit as Sora humps his leg)

~~~~~LIMITBREAK~~~~~

Clapperboard guy: Scene 5009, Roxas finds Sora's pod! Action!

(He closes the clapperboard on his finger)

Clapperboard Guy: OH SHI-

TAKE 2

DiZ: Hakuna Matadaaaaaa!

Roxas: ...WHAT.

DiZ: It's a Disney game, I need to get my Disney knowledge on!

Roxas: But you're just in a quarter of the game - If that - and the closest you get to Disney is Mickey Mouse!

DiZ: Yeah, the *BLEEP*ing king of Disneytown!

Roxas: You're stoned, man, you're st- *BLEEP*! MY STASH!

(Roxas runs away)

Sora: (muffled) ...It means no worriiiies!

DiZ: For the rest of your daaaaays!

Both: HAKUNA MATADAAAAA!

(Everyone offset claps)

TAKE 3

DiZ: At last, the Keyblade's chosen one.

Roxas: Who are you talking to? Me? Or Sora?

Sora: (muffled) you, dumbass!

(several people offscreen laugh. DiZ begins to laugh as well)

TAKE 4

DiZ: I am a servant of the world. (laughs) And if I'm a servant, then you should consider yourself a tool, at best.

Roxas: ...You bastard.

(Roxas walks off set)

Roxas: I've been called a nobody, a lamer, and then a nobody a few more times. Now i'm a tool? *BLEEP* you all, find another *BLEEP*ing actor.

(the director sighs in frustration)

TAKE 5

(Roxas runs up to DiZ and strikes through him. The Keyblade creates a wave of data through DiZ. Roxas, surprised, stands straight)

DiZ: My apologies. This is only a data-based projection.

(Roxas screams in anger, and futilely strikes DiZ repetitively with the Keyblade. DiZ vanishes and reappears behind him while Roxas catches his breath)

Sora: (Muffled) He's not THERE, dumbass!

(DiZ and Roxas start to laugh. The Director screams)

Director: GRAAAAAH! FOR *BLEEP*'S SAKE, CAN'T YOU DO A SINGLE SCENE RIGHT? SORA, YOU LITTLE SMARTASS, GET OUT OF THE *BLEEP*ING POD NOW!

(Sora walks out of the back of the pod shyly)

Director: Get off my stage.

Sora: W-What?

Director: GET OFF! OFF OFF OFF!

(The Director runs at Sora with his director's chair. Sora runs like hell)

Director: Ok, I'VE handled God of War II and Kratos can follow instructions better then you saps! For *BLEEP*'s sake, a drug-addled prima-don-

Roxas: -But God of War 1 hasn't even been released!

Director: SPECIAL EFFECTS HAD TO BE ADDED!

(Everything goes silent)

Director: So... Instead of it being a single, SMOOTH scene, we'll shoot the pod opening seperately.

Roxas: But-

(The Director snaps at the "But", throwing his chair at Roxas and narowly missing him. He then pushes a table over offscreen and pushes the camera down, before roaring and storming out)

Roxas: ...I do believe I now have a boner.

(People offscreen laugh and clap. A car alarm goes off in the distance)

AN: I noticed the break there didn't show, so I added a new one that DID show up. Sorry about that.