Kingdom Hearts: The Outtakes
Chapter 1: Sora's Awakening
TAKE 1
Roxas: Sora... You're lucky. Looks like my summer vacation...
(Sora emits a high-pitched fart. Roxas stands there looking dumbfounded, then bursts into laughter)
Sora: (sleepily) Damnit, too many burritos...
(Roxas laughs harder)
TAKE 2
Roxas: Sora, you're lu-
(Roxas bursts into laughter again)
Sora: I didn't even fart that time!
TAKE 3
Roxas: Sora, you're lucky. It looks like my summer vacation... Is ov-
(Sora pounces on Roxas)
Sora: GET INTO MEEEEEEE!
(Roxas goes into a laughing fit as Sora humps his leg)
~~~~~LIMITBREAK~~~~~
Clapperboard guy: Scene 5009, Roxas finds Sora's pod! Action!
(He closes the clapperboard on his finger)
Clapperboard Guy: OH SHI-
TAKE 2
DiZ: Hakuna Matadaaaaaa!
Roxas: ...WHAT.
DiZ: It's a Disney game, I need to get my Disney knowledge on!
Roxas: But you're just in a quarter of the game - If that - and the closest you get to Disney is Mickey Mouse!
DiZ: Yeah, the *BLEEP*ing king of Disneytown!
Roxas: You're stoned, man, you're st- *BLEEP*! MY STASH!
(Roxas runs away)
Sora: (muffled) ...It means no worriiiies!
DiZ: For the rest of your daaaaays!
Both: HAKUNA MATADAAAAA!
(Everyone offset claps)
TAKE 3
DiZ: At last, the Keyblade's chosen one.
Roxas: Who are you talking to? Me? Or Sora?
Sora: (muffled) you, dumbass!
(several people offscreen laugh. DiZ begins to laugh as well)
TAKE 4
DiZ: I am a servant of the world. (laughs) And if I'm a servant, then you should consider yourself a tool, at best.
Roxas: ...You bastard.
(Roxas walks off set)
Roxas: I've been called a nobody, a lamer, and then a nobody a few more times. Now i'm a tool? *BLEEP* you all, find another *BLEEP*ing actor.
(the director sighs in frustration)
TAKE 5
(Roxas runs up to DiZ and strikes through him. The Keyblade creates a wave of data through DiZ. Roxas, surprised, stands straight)
DiZ: My apologies. This is only a data-based projection.
(Roxas screams in anger, and futilely strikes DiZ repetitively with the Keyblade. DiZ vanishes and reappears behind him while Roxas catches his breath)
Sora: (Muffled) He's not THERE, dumbass!
(DiZ and Roxas start to laugh. The Director screams)
Director: GRAAAAAH! FOR *BLEEP*'S SAKE, CAN'T YOU DO A SINGLE SCENE RIGHT? SORA, YOU LITTLE SMARTASS, GET OUT OF THE *BLEEP*ING POD NOW!
(Sora walks out of the back of the pod shyly)
Director: Get off my stage.
Sora: W-What?
Director: GET OFF! OFF OFF OFF!
(The Director runs at Sora with his director's chair. Sora runs like hell)
Director: Ok, I'VE handled God of War II and Kratos can follow instructions better then you saps! For *BLEEP*'s sake, a drug-addled prima-don-
Roxas: -But God of War 1 hasn't even been released!
Director: SPECIAL EFFECTS HAD TO BE ADDED!
(Everything goes silent)
Director: So... Instead of it being a single, SMOOTH scene, we'll shoot the pod opening seperately.
Roxas: But-
(The Director snaps at the "But", throwing his chair at Roxas and narowly missing him. He then pushes a table over offscreen and pushes the camera down, before roaring and storming out)
Roxas: ...I do believe I now have a boner.
(People offscreen laugh and clap. A car alarm goes off in the distance)
AN: I noticed the break there didn't show, so I added a new one that DID show up. Sorry about that.
