I was thinking about the episode called Poison Pill, and how Tassie has said there's an anthrax outbreak this season (I think it's connected to that episode), and this story popped into my head. I know it won't happen this way on the show, but that's what fanfic's for, right? Enjoy and let me know what you think with a review. :)

Also, I am overwhelmed with feelings and in awe that my stories have been nominated in numerous categories in the Rookie's Choice Awards. You don't even know the joy I get knowing people enjoy reading what I've written. :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Rookie Blue.


Moment of Truth

Sam sped to the hospital the moment word came over the radio about two officers being quarantined and for anyone who came in contact with them to be checked out. He'd been the one to send them on the lead that resulted in them being quarantined. He told them it was the easy lead to follow-through on. That's why he gave it to them. Wanted to give them an easy day. Hoped it would keep them from getting on each other's nerves again while they were partnered together.

But no, the lead turned into the biggest tip in the investigation, which was looking into why junkies were dying from what appeared to be bad cocaine. He didn't think much about them getting a table full of cocaine tossed on them. Actually, had a good chuckle picturing it. But then word came back the cocaine was laced with anthrax, followed by the warning Frank sent out over the radio, and Sam's head was spinning.

How the hell could he let her get hurt? How could he be the reason she was hurt? He jogged his way through the hospital, stopping briefly at two nurse's stations to find out exactly where he was going. He was briefed by the last nurse on their condition. He wasn't surprised Marlo had listed him as someone they could release information to, but he was stunned not to have to pull out his badge and beg for information on Andy. After all this time and everything that had happened with them, he was still listed in her file. Then again, he'd left her on his too, and well, he'd never thought about adding Marlo.

Now, he was stopped outside two adjacent hospital rooms set up for quarantine. He could see these large plastic structures surrounding the beds, special ventilation units hooked up to each to filter the air. But he was stuck to his spot on the floor, not because he was scared to catch what they were exposed to, but because he didn't know which door to enter first. His eyes bounced back and forth between the two doors like a tennis match. Door #1 was his past. Door #2 was his present. But he quickly realized that door #1 was what he wanted to be his future.

He finally took the few steps that brought him into one of the rooms, closing the door quietly as the brunette lying in the bed looked to be asleep. He sat down in the chair that had already been pulled up next to the plastic structure around the bed. He reached his hand through the plastic glove that was the only way he could touch the woman lying in front of him. He was shocked to see her eyes fly open the moment he touched her hand. Her fingers wrapping awkwardly around the plastic. "Hey," she croaked out sadly.

"You like to keep me on my toes, don't you?" he teased, forcing a smile he hoped would take the fear from her eyes.

"You know me, like to keep it interesting." Andy chuckled briefly, but it was quickly replaced with a frown. "I'm scared, Sam."

"What happened?" he asked.

"When we got to the house, the suspect was just sitting there, messing with the cocaine. He refused to even look at us, so we approached him carefully. Before we knew it, he tossed the table toward us and the coke went flying. It was all over my uniform, but I didn't think much of it until...until..."

"The crime scene techs called in that there was anthrax," he said, finishing her thought.

She nodded. "They rushed us here, scrubbed us down." She rubbed her arm, her skin still sore from the quarantine shower she'd gotten when she arrived. She missed her own clothes, the scrubs she was given weren't as comfortable as they looked.

"What have they told you?" he asked.

"They think I might've breathed some of it in with how much I was coated in. They've done a bunch of tests, pumped me with antibiotics. They don't really know anything," she said, sighing.

"Okay, but that also means you don't know that it's anything serious yet. Docs like to take precautions," he said, trying to cheer her up. Inside, he was a mess. He didn't really know anything about anthrax except that it was some serious stuff and extremely dangerous. The media wasn't overhyping it when they frightened people. Still, he wanted to make her feel better. "Let the doctors do their job, okay? Wait to freak out until it's time to freak out...if it's time to freak out."

She forced a smile, but it didn't reach her eyes and Sam saw right through it. "You always know what to say."

He gave her a small smile, but knew that wasn't always true. There were so many things he wanted to tell her - back when they were together and sitting here with her now - but he had no idea how to put his feelings into words. He put his other hand through the second gloved arm and rested it on her shoulder. He wished he could touch her, really touch her so he could feel her smooth skin under his fingertips.

"What if...I had a lot of it on my uniform. I must've inhaled it," she said, her free hand fidgeting anxiously with the bed sheet. "How could I not? What if the powder was mostly anthrax? We don't know how much cocaine was there. What if it's in my blood? What if - "

"Hey, shhh, now," he said, interrupting her. "You can't jump to conclusions. It'll only drive you crazy."

Andy was quiet for a moment as she contemplated the mix of emotions rolling through her. It wasn't just the fear of dying that had her stomach in knots. It was the fear she'd never have a second chance with Sam. That he'd never know she'd hadn't stopped loving him. That he'd never know how much she truly missed him. She knew she probably had no right to profess these feelings when he was dating someone else, when he was seemingly happy with someone else. But she didn't know if the universe would give her another chance. So, she went for it.

"I need to tell you something. If this, if I really am sick - "

"Andy, stop, there will be plenty of time."

"No, Sam, I have to...Let me say this, okay? I know we were screwed up. I left, you left, but we...we were good together. It might've been messy, but I miss that. I miss you." She looked at him, his face slightly blurred through the plastic. She wished she could touch his face right now. She couldn't remember the exact moment she last touched his face, but she wanted to touch it one last time, if this...if her time was running out.

"I do too." The moment the words left his mouth the only sound that could be heard was the gentle humming of machines.

The air in the room became awkward. Andy didn't know how to respond to his admission. She wasn't really sure what she expected his response to be, but, well, it wasn't this. Sam wasn't sure what to make of the fact he just told his ex-girlfriend he missed her. But it was true. All these other words got trapped in his head. How he wanted to tell her she was the only one for him. How he didn't know how he even thought he could move on. How she was all he ever wanted and needed.

"Marlo, uh, you know...she's here too," Andy finally said, bringing up what had quickly become the elephant in the room.

"I know."

"Is she...is she okay? They won't really tell me anything." She decided it was better to change subjects, let him know despite what she just admitted to him she understood he had a girlfriend, that she wouldn't get in the way of that. She wanted him happy and if Marlo made him happy, then she would have to live with that.

For the first time since he walked into Andy's room, he realized he'd never even checked on Marlo. Other than what the nurse had told him about both of them, he had no idea how she was doing. "I...uh...I don't know. I came right here."

"Oh." She pulled her hand from his grasp. "You should...She probably wants to see you." She hated letting him go, but knew she had to. He wasn't hers anymore. He had someone else to care for, to worry about now.

"I'm right where I want to be."

Andy's eyes went wide at that. "I thought...But what about..." She couldn't seem to make the words form at the realization of what Sam was telling her without actually saying it.

Sam swallowed thickly trying to wet his suddenly bone dry throat. "I was stupid...again." He took her hand in both of his. He'd made a decision the moment he walked through the door of this room, and it was time to fully admit that now. "I don't know what I've been trying to do. Should never have...I've been faking it."


Meanwhile, in the next room, the doctor was talking to Marlo. He explained that her tests came back negative and showed no severe effects from coming into contact with the anthrax. Still, they wanted to keep her overnight for observation. He told her they'd be removing the plastic structure, as there was clearly no need for that, and she'd be able to get up and move around if she'd like.

"Thanks, doc. This is great news," she told him. As she watched the doctor talk to a couple nurses, she wondered where Sam was. She thought he'd be here by now to check up on her, but maybe he'd gotten caught up in the case. As soon as she could find her phone she'd call him, ask him to stop by. She'd never been a needy girlfriend with anyone she dated, always tried to keep emotional distance. But today made her realize she didn't want that anymore. When she got out of here and got Sam home with her, she was going to tell him she wanted to take their relationship to the next level. Maybe she'd even ask him to move in with her. She smiled thinking about it all.

Once the plastic protective structure had been dismantled, Marlo got up and found her phone in the few personal affects she'd had on her today that hadn't been destroyed as part of the quarantine. She dialed Sam's number and frowned when it went to voicemail. She didn't bother leaving a message and planned to try and reach him again later. For now, she thought about checking up on Andy to see how her fellow officer was doing. She tightened the drawstring of the scrubs she'd been given to wear and headed next door.

Marlo opened the door to Andy's room and was shocked by what she saw. It wasn't that Sam hadn't come; he was here, just not with her. He was sitting as close as he could get to Andy's bed, holding her hand. She wanted to think her eyes were betraying her, but then she heard the words come out of his mouth: "I've been faking it." She didn't need to be a rocket scientist to know what, or who, he was talking about.

"Sam?" she croaked out.

Sam and Andy's eyes flew toward the door, a deer in the headlights look coming over his face. They'd been so lost in each other, they hadn't heard the door open.

"The anthrax, it hit me too, you know. I was there too, not just McNally." She turned quickly, letting the door slam behind her.

"I should..." Sam said, nodding toward the door.

"Go. She deserves that much," Andy told him.

Sam slowly stood up, not wanting to leave Andy. "Don't go anywhere, okay?" He smiled as he backed away from the bed.

"Like I have anywhere to go," she quipped. As she watched him walk away, she wasn't worried. She knew where he wanted to be, even if the room next door was where he had to be right now.

Sam found Marlo lying in bed, one hand fisting the edge of the covers she'd pulled up to her chest. "Just go away, Sam," she said, on the verge of tears.

"I can't," he said, sitting on the edge of the bed. "I need to talk to you before I leave this room."

"I think I've heard enough," she replied.

He pried her fisted hand open to hold it in his. "I'm sorry. I really am. I don't mean to hurt you. But she's...she's always been it for me. I tried to move on, but..."

"You never did. She was never in the past, was she?" Marlo asked.

Sam looked towards the ceiling and back down at her. "No."

Marlo nodded in understanding. She'd been foolish to believe his lie, knew there was still something between them by the look they shared in the warehouse. "Can you...if I've left anything at your place, can you just bring it to the station?"

He nodded and released her hand. "I am sorry."

She nodded again, bit her bottom lip as she willed him to leave before any tears broke through. She wouldn't let him see her cry. Wouldn't let him see how broken she was now. Wouldn't let him see how insignificant she felt at this moment.

He stood up, felt like he should say more, but it was clear Marlo didn't want to hear any more. He never should've tried to move on when Andy left for the taskforce. He knew she was it for him, that he could never move on from her, no matter how hard he tried.

When the door to her room closed, Marlo let the floodgates open as she curled into the fetal position. She wondered what that rookie had that she didn't have. Wondered why she couldn't convince Sam to love her. All she'd wanted was Sam, but all he'd wanted was Andy McNally.

When Sam walked back into Andy's room, there was a doctor speaking with her and several nurses pulling down the plastic structure surrounding the bed. Sam stood off the side for several minutes until everyone had left the room. "Good news?" he asked, sitting on the edge of her bed.

"I'm not contagious, so there's that."

He thought she'd be happier at that news and the ridiculous plastic being taken down. "But..."

"But the tests are inconclusive. They don't know how sick I might be, or if I am, or...they don't know anything."

He could tell she was spiraling from overthinking the worst case scenarios. He placed a hand on the side of her face. "Hey now. You might not be. Maybe there's nothing to find."

"But if there is...I mean, we...you...I love you, Sam. In case something happens, you need to know that. If I never get to say it again, you have to know that I do," she said, the words coming out fast and furious, afraid he'd try to stop her. Then she did what she'd been dying to do since he'd been sitting next to her bed. She reached up and cupped his cheek in her hand, his unshaven stubble tickling her palm as she brushed her thumb over his cheekbone. She closed her eyes to remember this, afraid it might be the last time she'd touch him.

Sam was speechless hearing those words again. His heart started beating furiously as his nerves got the best of him. It was so hard for him to say the words, but it was all he'd ever felt for Andy. He screwed up once not telling her when he should have and then making a joke of it when he finally did tell her. He leaned into her touch, let it steady his heart, and waited until she opened her eyes again. "I never stopped loving you, Andy. I tried, but there's a hole in my heart only you can fill."

She couldn't stop the tears from escaping down her cheeks and Sam was confused. He thought those words would make her happy, but these were definitely sad tears.

"What if it's too late?" she asked before sniffling. "What if this is it and we ran out of time...for us?"

He wiped away her tears with his thumbs. "That's not gonna happen because you are going to be fine. And we're going to get our time together. I'm gonna cook you dinner and take out your trash and - "

"Sam," she said, interrupting him with her laugh. "Stop, you don't. I don't need you to do those things."

"I'm not breaking another promise to you, McNally. I told you I would and I will."

"I don't need all that. I just need to know you're with me. That you'll stick around for breakfast, that you'll read the comics with me," she said with a sheepish smile.

"Make it the sports page and you've got a deal," he said grinning.

She rolled her eyes at him before a serious look came over her face. "I'm glad you're here."

Sam leaned in slowly, nudging his nose against hers. "Nowhere else I'd rather be." He closed the distance until his lips met hers in a soft and languid kiss. It was the rapidly increasing rate of the beeping on one of the machines hooked up to Andy that had Sam finally pulling back. He glanced over at the monitor and back at Andy whose cheeks were now flush.

"Shut up," she said, embarrassed that he could see how worked up he got her with a simple kiss.

He placed a chaste kiss on her lips. "We'll continue this later," he promised.

"I'll keep you to that," she said, grinning.

A little more than 48 hours later, Andy was released from the hospital with a clean bill of health and Sam kept his promise.


The End.