A/N: The following are drabbles about a Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Shadowhunters crossover.
SCENE 1. INT. 99 HEADQUARTERS.
/CAPTAIN HOLT emerges from his office in search for GINA only to find her desk empty. HOLT saunters into the middle of the bullpen, attracting immediate attention from his detectives. /
HOLT: Has anybody seen Gina? I've asked her to send off precinct summary reports about an hour ago and they're still on her desk.
AMY: /shrugs/ She probably left early for her lunchbreak.
TERRY: /shakes his head, precious yoghurt in his hands/ No. Gina's a mom now. She probably left to check up on her baby. Maybe there's an emergency situation. /gasps/ Should we lend a hand?
ROSA: /crosses her arms/ Not all of us are doting parents like you Terry. Also, it's Gina. I'm sure she's more than capable of handling smelly babies.
TERRY: /looks offended/ Smelly babies? Just you wait until you have kids.
BOYLE: Well, I'm on Amy's side. There's this wonderful new Japanese restaurant just a few blocks from the 99. Critics are raving about the house-made soba noodles. Apparently, they achieve the perfect soba by kneading the dough for hours with their feet—
JAKE: Yeah no. Nobody would go to that. /JAKE rises from his desk, chest puffed out/ As always, it's up to the amazing Detective Jake Peralta to shine light into the darkest and most mysterious of mysteries. Follow me!
/CUT to JAKE and the rest of the 99 bursting into one of the interrogation rooms. /
JAKE: I present to you Gina Linetti!
/GINA jerks from behind the interrogation desk, the luxurious duvet wrapped around her jumping with her movement while she tears her distracted gaze from the bright screen of her laptop. Fresh tear tracks stream down her face but the sight of the 99 has her snapping her laptop lid shut before swiftly turning away while she also surreptitiously wipes away her tears and throws the duvet, so it lands in an elegant heap by her feet. /
GINA: /turns back around looking composed/ Oh. My. God. What is this?
HOLT: /levels a disappointed look at GINA's laptop before turning back to GINA/ Funny you say that. We were wondering the same thing.
JAKE: /waves a dismissive hand and makes his way to the other side of the interrogation room, directly facing an annoyed GINA on the desk/ No need for wondering Captain because the comfy blankets, the shadow underneath her eyes and the fact that this is the one place in the precinct with the best wi-fi connection all point to one conclusion and one conclusion only; Gina's binge-watching.
GINA: /confesses at the stern looks from HOLT/ Fine. Yes, I have but bitch. /Turns to address JAKE/ Just because my concealer game isn't on point today, doesn't give you the permission to expose my eyebags like that.
JAKE: /sincerely/ Sorry, yes, you're right that was uncalled for.
HOLT: I'm curious. What were you watching that's so moved you to tears?
GINA: /smoothly/ Finally caught up on my Korean drama. The writers know how to make a grown woman cry.
TERRY: /grows excited/ Ooh! Which one? I personally love While You Were Sleeping although nothing can ever compete with classics like Full House.
GINA: Ahaha yes. While You Were Sleeping! The ending where he drops the engagement ring into the ticketing booth and they welcome her into the family!
TERRY: /confused/ That's… not what happens in While You Were Sleeping.
BOYLE: I think you're both confused; Gina's talking about the 90s romcom film with Sandra Bullock and Bill Pullman. I, too, cried at that scene. /adds/ Either that or it was because I watched it alone when my date bailed on me. Doesn't matter! I'm in a happy relationship with an adopted kid!
GINA: /ignoring BOYLE/ Sorry Terrence. I just assumed that the Korean drama is based on the Sandra Bullock movie.
TERRY: /offended gasp, waving his yoghurt around in one hand/ If anything it's the other way around! The Good Doctor, for example! /looks around at everyone/ Am I the only one interested in foreign films and tv?
AMY: /placating gesture at Terry/ While we appreciate your interests Sarge, I think we should return to the question of what motivated Gina to lie about what she's binge-watching.
ROSA: It's probably something embarrassing. Haha.
HOLT: /raises his eyebrows/ Well Gina.
GINA: /groans/ Ugh fine! But only because I need to find out what happens next and everyone's in my way.
AMY: It's work hours.
GINA: /gestures for AMY to stop/ Exactly. I am currently binge-watching Shadowhunters, it's a young adult fantasy drama and yes. /defensively/ It's cheesy. In its first season. Then it gets dark, and the storyline gets messy, but it resurrects itself halfway through season two and it's currently living its best life. I just hope they continue to stray away from the books and the author which are both so problematic.
ROSA: Nice. So on a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the cast?
GINA: Infinite. Your bisexual self will know no rest. Except for the blonde dude with the eyes. We don't stan him and his ugly personality.
ROSA: Noted. I'll give it a shot.
GINA: Also, I must add. It's hella relevant; diverse casting, racial allegories, a gay character that actually reminds me of you Captain Holt.
JAKE: /gasps in excitement/ Cold, rational and deductive to a fault?
GINA: And a born leader who fights against his society's prejudices alongside his hot boyfriend played by Harry Shum Jr—my new dancing idol. /looks dreamily into the distance/ Who even is Ryan Gosling?
BOYLE: /shrieks/ What?! He beats Ryan Gosling? Alright-y let's look you up Mr Harry Shum Jr. I don't believe this for a second. /whips phone out furiously/
TERRY: How did you even hear about this show? It doesn't sound like your usual cup of tea.
GINA: Remember the Old Spice Guy? I followed him on Twitter recently because I missed his gorgeous face and gorgeous bod. Then I found out he's on the show. He plays a New York police detective but he's secretly a werewolf who just wants to protect his people and his children.
JAKE: A detective who's secretly a werewolf and just wants to be a good father to all? Damn this show is layered!
GINA: Unfortunately, he doesn't get much screentime but I have high hopes for season three. I'm thinking they're gonna kill off Blondie which will make space for the more interesting characters.
AMY: /blushing, watching alongside BOYLE/ Oh my god!
JAKE: What is it babe? /scooting over to watch along/ Oh wow. Does he really have to do this shirtless? Not that I'm complaining.
BOYLE: /resigned/ Okay. I admit. This man is a sun-kissed god among mere mortals. How has he not booked a major film yet?
JAKE: He's Asian, Hollywood has a diversity issue and our country is racist?
HOLT: /watches along before crossing his arms sternly/ As entertaining as this diversion has been, back to work detectives!
SCENE 2. CAPTAIN HOLT'S OFFICE.
/THE NEXT DAY. JAKE strides into the Captain's office, grin plastered on his face at the prospect of solving an intricate murder mystery. HOLT is seated behind his desk, earphones plugged to his ears while his eyes are trained on his tablet. /
JAKE: Top of the mornin' to ya Cap'n!
HOLT: /sighs before pulling out his earphones/ Peralta. Please explain the sloppy Irish accent.
JAKE: /plops himself down on the seat across/ Okay, you sound grumpy. Let me guess. I interrupted a riveting article on the National Geographic about bees.
HOLT: You say that as if it's an insult, and quite frankly it is. Bees are an integral part of the global ecosystem and we're currently facing alarming levels of decline in their numbers.
JAKE: Yeah, I know. I saw The Bee Movie. I didn't eat honey for a whole week before I freaked out that I was probably driving the bees into financial ruin.
/HOLT levels him a disinterested look. /
JAKE: Okay. I'm here to report that I found a new lead in the Merryweather murder and request permission to go looking for our new suspect, an Irish fiend named Mortimer O'Connell. /Leans to hand HOLT the case file. / Or as his friends like to call him, Murty. Doesn't sound as menacing as Mortimer. Still, he dismembered a rich white guy so there you go.
HOLT: /Leans back and flicks through the file/ Excellent work Peralta. Permission granted.
JAKE: Alright-y that was easy.
HOLT: /shrugs/ Isn't time of the essence? And I'm confident in your detective skills, detective.
JAKE: O…kay. I'll just go a-running along then.
HOLT: Good, close the door behind you please. /He picks up the earphones/ I need to return to my bees.
/JAKE fast-walks out of the Captain's office, closing the door shut behind him before rushing into the breakroom where ROSA and TERRY are currently on lunchbreak. JAKE shuts the breakroom door. /
JAKE: /in flustered whispers and perfectly serious/ Guys! Guys! I think our Captain has been kidnapped and replaced by-by a cyborg replica!
/ROSA and TERRY look at him, pause then turn back to their lunch. /
JAKE: I'm serious! He just flattered me and was redundant in the same sentence!
/Flashback: 'And I'm confident in your detective skills, detective.' /
ROSA: /A spoonful of chicken rice falling from her hand, concern in her voice/ Oh my god.
JAKE: /in visible distress / The robots have arrived. Skynet is upon us.
/TERRY rises from his seat to stride towards the blinds. He looks through the break room window to the Captain's office where he surreptitiously watches HOLT's attention fixed on the tablet in front of him. /
TERRY: I don't know. He just looks distracted. Must be something important.
ROSA: Sarge. His door is shut. On this warm summer day.
TERRY: Yikes. You're right.
/The three of them look out the breakroom window and continue to watch their Captain. In the next minute, HOLT makes a sudden movement; he smirks, teeth showing, while his eyes light up. JAKE, TERRY and ROSA look at each other in pure horror. But before they can say anything, HOLT looks up and spies them peeking from his office. /
JAKE: /yelps/ He found us! He's stood from his desk. Don't panic! Alert, alert! He's left the Captain's office and is coming for us! Act normal! Rosa where's your emergency robot invasion gear? You're a badass—I know you have it!
ROSA: Jake, calm down!
TERRY: Sit down!
/HOLT opens the breakroom door to find his detectives and TERRY sitting around the table. /
HOLT: /eyes JAKE/ Peralta. Why are you hiding behind the newspaper?
JAKE: Nothing. Just, uh, reading the morning spread. Ooh look! Donald Trump's fucked up again! Same old, same old.
HOLT: You don't read the newspaper.
JAKE: /flings the newspaper away/ He's caught me out! Please don't kill us Robot Raymond—ooh that's a cool nickname. Wait no! Argh damn my genius poetic mind, now is not the time.
HOLT: Why in Angel's name will I kill you? /puts his hands on his hips/ Aside from the fact that my detectives and my Sergeant are spying on me?
TERRY: /rises, recognising it is indeed HOLT and wanting to placate the atmosphere/ Sorry sir. Peralta here is concerned about you. We all are. You seem… distracted this morning.
HOLT: I appreciate your concern squad but the only distraction to be had is the question of Peralta reading the newspaper.
GINA: /appears from behind HOLT/ Mmm why you always lying Captain? /she glides along before sitting on the counter by the breakroom window, all pearly teeth and knowing eyes/
HOLT: I have no idea what you're talking about Gina.
GINA: Please. 'Why in Angel's name will I kill you?' Such strange word choice. Although, in the context of recent events, perhaps not so strange.
/HOLT and GINA lock eyes in a silent psychological war, leaving the other three watching in pure confusion. Then, HOLT sighs heavily before closing the breakroom door behind him. A signal for privacy, and the others lean in for HOLT's admission. /
HOLT: Listen carefully as I will only say this once. Yes. I have been distracted. I've been binge-watching Shadowhunters.
ROSA: Oh. Everything makes sense now.
HOLT: /pleased/ You've started too Diaz?
ROSA: I admit, I feel stupid for not picking up the Angel line. Then again, I don't care about the Shadowhunters except maybe Izzy and Alec because they deserve better. I watch for Magnus. /looks meaningfully at everyone/ Badass bisexual rep.
/Everyone acknowledges this in happy silence. /
HOLT: As much as I would love to wax poetic about Magnus Bane, the High Warlock of Brooklyn, I must return to season 1 episode 6. Magnus just made his confession to Alexander. He smiled. I think my heart exploded, if you'll pardon the exaggerated metaphor.
ROSA: Ugh spoilers!
HOLT: Apologies Diaz. But you brought this onto yourself. Don't spy on me detectives.
/HOLT gives them a parting warning, eyebrows high on his forehead, before he turns to leave the breakroom. Once he's left, TERRY and ROSA obediently turn back to their lunch while JAKE follows GINA out of the breakroom. JAKE makes his way for the elevators, texting BOYLE to meet him at the sandwich parlour a few blocks from the precinct to discuss the Murty case. When he reaches the lobby, JAKE decides to start this show that's so moved everyone. /
SCENE 3. INT. JAKE & AMY'S APARTMENT
/AMY fast asleep while JAKE's eyes are fixed on his laptop screen, pillow hugged tight and tears beading at his eyes while he watches Shadowhunters season 1 episode 6. /
JAKE: Their love is so beautiful.
/He clears his throat when the scene ends and a small but meaningful smile tug at his lips. /
JAKE: Magnus Bane. Badass bisexual rep.
A/N: Jake is bi. FIGHT ME.
