This one-shot is based from an "Avengers: Endgame" meme that I thought would be cool to put together as a story. It does take place in the middle of the five-year span between "Infinity War" and "Endgame." (WARNING THIS MAY HAVE ENDGAME SPOILERS AHEAD! IF YOU HAVENT SEEN THE DAMN MOVIE. THE HELL YOU DOIN HERE? GO WATCH IT!)
Thor vs. n00bmaster69
One-Shot!
Thor had enough of n00bmaster69. Every time he gets eliminated in a battle royal match is always in the hands of n00bmaster69. He can't. HE JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! Thor this time tries to find another match but this time without n00bmaster69. Every time he appears in a match n00bmaster69 will always appear in the lobby like if he is cursed to be with Thor and to torture him.
But then finally. the curse finally broke. He finally found another match without… n00bmaster. Finally! Thor can win a match! It has been 4 freaking days since he has won a match in Fortnite. The curse can be no more!
A few minutes into the game, Korg came downstairs after a long rock-nap, as well as Miek who is on Korg's left shoulder, having a slice of pizza obviously.
"Hey, men!" Korg exclaims. "How's the Wi-Fi holdin? Have those little feather dinosaurs been bothering em again?"
"It's fine…" Thor smiled. "I've been finding a match for hours without… n00bmaster."
"Yeah, he can sometimes be a bit of a dickhead ye know?" Korg said as he pours coffee into his mug and takes a sip of it.
Thor's Avatar explores into the tall mountain when suddenly an ambushed was occurred by another player named "vanrc7yt." The player shoots at Thor's avatar once losing 13% of his health bar leaving only 87% of life left. Thor's avatar uses his starter pickaxe and attacks him 4 times going from 100 to 60 then to 30 and finally 0%. "vanrc7yt" was eliminated from the game. Thor's earphones were blasted by a baby ear rape scream. Thor's body jumped and lowered the volume on the headsets a little.
"It's just a game dude, chill." He muttered in his mind.
"aye, men!" Korg exclaimed as Miek took another bite of pizza. "You're actually getting good at this mate!"
"Aha!" Thor chuckled. "I have been a master at this for months my good friend! Especially with… n00bmaster."
"Aye ehm- doubt that…"
Thor continued playing the game for another 10 minutes straight. Korg and Miek were on a busted old couch that they found outside of New Asgard and fell asleep on top of each other after being bored of Thor's yelping in victory. Another match was ready to begin as other players joined in on the match. Thor takes his eyes off the screen to have a drink of beer and as soon as he turns back to the screen before he even swallows the beer. He sputters it out of his mouth when he saw something, he didn't even want to see in the first place.
n00bmaster69 has joined the game.
Thor at this point wanted to leave the match. He can't afford to lose again after 10 matches of his victorious streak without… n00bmaster. But he felt he practice enough from the 10 wins he collected from his previous matches. He was willing to defeat him to show he can do this.
"I… will not lose," Thor grumbled to himself. The match began as all the players including Thor's jumped off from the flying Bus. All the players flew to one position. As for Thor and n00bmaster. Welp, they found themselves gliding down to the same position they are going to. Thor started to feel the tension inside his heart. It's like a rock constantly hitting his heart many times inside that Thor doesn't even know it! Thor constantly looking at his avatar then at n00bmaster's avatar and repeated it several times before focusing on his character.
When they came close to ground level. n00bmasters gilder vanishes into fairy dust and his avatar hits the ground. Thor became utterly confused to why he did that but then a teenage/childish voice came through the voice chat.
"PSYCHE!"
n00bmasters avatar spawns a shotgun and equips it and shoots at Thor's avatar before he even touches the ground. First from 100 to 50, then 50 to 0. With a blink of Thor's eyes. The screen went white as all of Thor's stuff fell to the ground and his avatar disappears and a Headline displaying.
YOU HAVE BEEN ELIMINATED BY n00bmaster69
He lost… AGAIN! To a freaking 15-year-old kid! Thor felt the storm brewing in his veins as if he is having an adrenaline rush. he raised his right arm and calls Stormbreaker to him to only have a gamers rage attitude and throws Stormbreaker at the new TV he bought four days ago after the old one was destroyed by his rage. The TV was blown to smithereens and leaving the blank wall a large black mark. the whole damn house even lost power. It was now like a true caveman home in Thor's little shaft. Miek and Korg suddenly then woke up in a viciously way.
"Aye, aye! What did I miss, men?" He says before realizing the whole house in the dark and then turns to the black wall where the Samsung 4K TV was formerly placed. Stormbreaker really cut through that TV like butter. Like how he cut through The Infinity gauntlets beam like butter. Damn Thor really should have gone for the-
"Woah I really did miss a lot their mate…" Korg said as Miek climbed on his left shoulder blade again. "The Wi-Fi went out again, perhaps."
Thor turns to Korg which his eyes were… let's just say they are at a very subatomic madness level. "Does it look like it…" He growls.
"Oh…" Korg said. "We missed something awesome while we were having a rock-nap, and it happens while we were having the rock-nap and you decide the cut the TV in half to wake us up."
"NOOOOOOOO!" Thor roared as lighting burst through his hands.
"Hey, hey, take it easy, men!" Korg tries to calm Thor who is still in subatomic mode.
"n00bmaster… he ruined my winning streaks, AGAIN!" Thor exclaimed as he took another big gulp of beer into his big belly, he has been developing over the last four years after his true defeat with Thanos. He then throws the bottle harshly to the floor and the bottle broke to small delicate pieces "I have GROWN SICK AND TIRED OF HIS SHIT! I CAN'T I JUST CAAAAAANNNNNTTTTTT."
Thor Brews lighting into his hands of rage and was breathing like a damn Bull. Korg and Miek became cautious about the situation and started to hustle in a corner.
"BRING… ME… N00BMAAAAASSSSSTERRRRRRRRRRR!" Thor raises his voice and his fists were clenched like rocks molded together and thunders rally through the house as a plan starts to storm in his brain. It's time he settles a score with… n00bmaster69, once and for all.
-= Avengers H.Q. =-
Thor's plan was to find n00bmaster's console or whatever he plays that stupid game inside his little rabbit hole in and destroy his little shitty basement and to never play Fortnite again. However… he doesn't even know where he is. Luckily at Avengers H.Q, they have God's eyes. All he must do is put in n00bmasters username and BOOM! It finds where n00bmaster is.
Thor lands at the docks of Avengers H.Q and he became conscious of how much it has changed. It seems very abandoned. The environment around the H.Q. smelled like city odor. Even when he walked into the building everything seems… like it was the exact same thing… and smells like city odor too.
Thor walks into the meeting room where God's eye is at. Thor looks around the room and finds no one in the room. He took the opportunity to turn on God's eye and types in n00bmaster69's username.
Thor inputs in the username of the mysterious n00bmaster69 and the schematics started to load. After 10 seconds of loading. God's eyes started to do its work and with a quick speed of lighting. It found n00bmaster69's secret location. the displays show that he can be found outside of New Asgard… WHAT! OUTSIDE OF NEW ASGARD!
"How the hell is he even outside of my hometown-" Thor mumbled to himself.
Suddenly he sees a reflection at the window. It was a woman. A woman that Thor recognized indeed. He turned swiftly and suddenly had a 'come on man…' face. Her hair was just red and some of the hair is blonde and she is wearing a white tee-shirt and long pants. Her eyes were dark green. And what it seems to be like she was glaring at him. Thor knew it was Natasha Romanoff aka Black Widow. he turned back to face to the location of... n00bmaster69.
"Shit…" Thor mumbled.
Natasha nibbled her lips. "So… now we are gonna play this Lebowski thing, are we…" her tone wasn't as a happy as what Thor would want to hear from her. He was thinking like 'Hey Thor! Long time no see my friend!' But apparently not.
"Don't ask," Thor replied.
"Well, I am asking this." Natasha scowled as she walks up to Thor on his right who he is not looking at her.
"What in the living hell are you doing here?"
"Came to find my score…" Thor said in a dramatic tone. "To which I- you know already found."
He then walks away from the desk and walked fast out as Natasha followed him. "Where are you going?" She yelled.
"To settle a score with…" Thor paused. "My Enemy…"
"what's his or her name?" She asked as they both walked outside of the H.Q.
Thor took a deep breath and stop in his track to face Natasha. "I have no clue who it is all as far as I know."
Natasha glanced at the nature of the wild as if she is being astonished by it but really, she is being annoyed by Thor's attitude.
"You put a name in God's eye to which it found what you're looking for from what the looks of it." She said. "And you are now telling me that you don't even know the sex of the person you're looking for?
"I just want to find n00bmaster69 okay! he has-" Thor just realized what he had just said.
Natasha squints her eyebrows at Thor and came up to him from only a foot apart from him and crossed her arms. "noobmaster- okay."
She took a big deep breath and looked at Thor with a straight face.
"First you came here to find a username from, a videogame?" Thor nods viciously. "Second, you look like melted ice cream." Thor then suddenly starts to glance down at his big belly he as. "Three, looking like a Lebowski." She said as she rustled his long and weirdly braided hair. "And four your complaining about the gamer kid because?"
Thor glanced at something trying to avoid her but just couldn't. her green eyes were on fire. Thor sighed out through his nose.
"Because…" Thor started. Natasha is still angry with her face almost red. It's like if he doesn't give an answer right now, she may have to just slit his throat. "He keeps ruining my winning streaks!" He squealed.
Natasha finally looked away and rolled her eyes and walked a few inches away from Thor before facing him again. "You do realize it's just a game, right?"
"Have you ever heard of… Winning is the cure and losing is the diseases?"
Natasha tilted her head like a bird and crossed her arms.
"n00bmaster is the parasite and is covering me with the disease!" Thor shouts sarcastically.
Natasha sighed again and rolled her eyes.
"that's why I must do it so I can cure myself-"
"NO!" She snaps. "You are sickening yourself!"
"How?" He asked in a very curious way.
"By going to some stranger's house and trying to destroy his room? It's just a kid who just wants to play a game!" Natasha counters.
Thor opened his mouth slightly but couldn't put his words together. He took a good look at Natasha. Her face had an almost worry face.
"What happened to you?" Natasha asked in the slightest whisper. "Thor? God of Thunder?"
All Thor can do was shrugged off and walked away. Natasha just stood there. He walked about three feet away from him. He took one last good look at Natasha.
"Goodbye, Nat." Thor's eye went subatomic and burst into the sky in midair.
"WAIT!" She yelled and sprint a few inches towards Thor before he blasted off into the sky. Natasha looked at the sky as all she saw were steaks from Thor's flying trails.
She sighed and walked back to the H.Q. and about halfway later her phone suddenly rings. She picked it up to answer.
"Hello?"
"Nat?" It was Steve Rogers who was calling her.
"Hey… I have something to tell you." Nat said. There was a pause for a moment.
"I know," Steve replied. "Someone went into the perimeter of the H.Q. I'm already on my way."
"I already checked who it was," Nat replied cold. All she could think about was how much Thor has changed from the God of Thunder who cares so much for his people and his teammates to now a big melted ice cream mix with a Lebowski dude who doesn't care at all because of one stupid videogame guy. "Thor… He was here."
-= 15 miles outside of Asgard =-
Thor landed 15 miles outside of Asgard in the middle of the forest. Everything was silent as a cucumber and the only thing can be heard are the chirps from birds and crickets, branches cracking from Thor walking cautiously through the forest. The smell of it was fresh but that went away when Thor picked up a scent. It smelled like Pizza and carrots... Thor walked towards the smell he walked over logs branches. Rammed through bushes, cuts through vines using the axe part of Stormbreaker, and finally, he saw something.
It was a sign stuck to the ground and in front of it was a door hatch on the ground and it said.
Fuwends and family are wellcome!
Thor walked up to the hatch and looked closely to the sign. He quickly chuckled at the fact that 'friends' and 'welcome' are spelled wrong.
"What an idiot…" Thor chuckled.
He raises Stormbreaker to the sky as the darky mystic clouds rally up to around the area and the sounds of clacks and thunders surrounded Thor as he empowers Stormbreaker. The armor suit he had on 5 years came on and his beard and hair braided magically appeared after the empowerment.
"its time to end you… n00bmaster69." Thor finally said.
Thor struck his axe down at the hatch and breaking it into smithereens. As shards of wood went tumbling down the stairs. Thor hears this 'hehehehehehe' type of laughter. he had never heard that type of evil laughter of any such thing in a long time. Thor walks in very slowly to make sure no booby traps are placed. Luckily there weren't any.
Thor came rushing down to the basement to enter n00bmaster69 lairs. And was in complete guffawed. His walls were just completely made of dirt and sod. He has a shelf of Xbox and PlayStation games. He has Oscar-winning trophies, maybe about 20 of them at the left side of his room and all there was in the middle were just old couches and bottles of beer on the floor and on the glass table were just empty boxes of pizza and crumbs from carrots. He looks over to the end of the room where he can see n00bmaster69 sitting and playing his stupid game called… Fortnite.
"So nice to finally meet you," Thor called him in a very precious and charming voice. N00bmaster jumped which made him press the home button on his PlayStation. "n00bmaster."
"Thora?" He said. "How did u find meh?" the wordings sound different like if a child trying to pronounce 'me' instead of saying 'meh.'
"I sensed you…" Thor replied. "and the name is Thor son of… nothing."
"it's sun of Otin." He replied. n00bmaster69 begins to turn. "but whu-"
Before he can finish Thor suddenly sent a massive and thunderous shockwave using Stormbreaker by pounding it to the floor causing the whole room to be lit with sparks as the TV, the Oscar trophy's and the games were disintegrated afterward. "Came for revenge." He said. "For ruining my winning streaks…"
n00bmaster was on the floor flat on his face. But his face wasn't… human. It was rather a rabbit's head than like a human head. His body is twice the size as Thor is. n00bmaster69 stood up on his feet turning around to only revealing himself to be…
"Big… Chungas?"
He stood there with only a happy face. That stilled happy face. Thor knew who he was. the most powerful creature in the entire universe which makes Thanos look like a baby No one messes with this guy. And if you do? Well… He'll mess with you back.
"u… DESTRUED ME STUFF?" Big Chungas Roared in anger as the fire in his hands burned with glorious power and made an X sign.
"I- uh…" Thor was lost of words. Big Chungas is logic, a predator, a monster, and a demon, but likes a lot of snacks for supper.
Big Chungas shook with rage and the fire spread around him more and more and guess what? HIS EYES ARE ON FIRE IN SUBATOMIC INSANITY! It outrageous how powerful this big giant fat ass mothaf- is!
"DDDDDIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!" Big Chungas roared. He breaks the X with his arms and a giant shock wave with a gigantic blast radius, bigger then Thor shockwave blast radius was. He sent Thor flying alongside Stormbreaker. He flew and flew, miles and miles from outside of New Asgard, all the way back to his little house in New Asgard and crashed landed through the roof and into the living room.
He just lay there in an utterly complete state of shock. Disbelief, unbelief, scared, hopeless. He didn't know what he just saw. Big Chungas? What a plot twist that was!
Korg and Miek came rushing downstairs they then stood frozen when they saw the big hole through the roof. Either they were astonished by the mess or in space of confusion of all the mess. Thor was still staring at the sky.
"Korg?" Thor asked in a cold a squeaky voice. "What type of day is this?"
Korg was in hard thinking cap mode. He looked around the house and sees the calendar. He notices the date November 3rd was circled. "Oh!" He exclaims. "It's a very special day today actually."
"What?" Thor sounded rather surprised to hear that.
"Yeah, I didn't notice before I just came down here and was all distracted by… ehhh"
"Footnight?"
"It's Fortnite, Korg." Thor corrected.
Korg then knelt down right beside Thor who is still laying down like if he was frozen on ice.
"Well mate!" Korg started. "It's Doug day today!"
Thor looked at him as if he was crazy. "That's made up!"
"Well if you really think about it," Korg replied. "In my tradition from where I came from. All holidays are made-up."
Thor then became satisfied with his reason. Korg then lays right beside Thor on his left. Miek then hops over to The right side of him. Thor's face was cold. Big Chungas is n00bmaster69? He couldn't even believe a meme was real! And the meme is actually his enemy now! But Thor felt curious more about the made-up holiday rather than Big Chungas.
"What is Doug day about?" He asked.
"Oh, well- em…" Korg starts. "It's a holiday to just sleep I guess… all-day"
Thor nodded in understatement. "And so shall it be…" He then just closed his eyes and marinate on the moment as the wind blew in his face. As did Korg and Miek. But something inside Thor doesn't feel quite right. His heart felt like. He isn't done with him.
He isn't done with Big Chungas… Not yet at least…
What do you think? I did my best to have a little melodrama with some humor. I might do more of these soon. I am taking a break from the chapter stories like "Infinity Apocalypse" and "Spider-Man into The Spider-verse 2." I think the next short story I should do is an alternative final battle for "Endgame." With a little hint. "The previous dead comes back." But it yet proves that the MCU is really the MCFDU "Marvel Cinematic Fake Death Universe." Anyways hope you enjoyed this little short. Hope you find that small little Easter egg in the story. See you real soon!
