Pairings: BBxRaven, RobxStar. Others undecided
Rating: T
Song: Exodus - Evanescence
Full Summary:
After losing control of her powerless and accidentally injuring Starfire, Raven runs from Titan's Tower. Meanwhile, the titans have decided to disband until Raven can be found.
Eight years later, Raven has adapted to her new life and now travels around the content, going from job to job, living like a modern nomad. All the while, Beast boy, now simply Gar, has never stopped searching for her. He is determined to bring her back, no matter what it takes. But when he finally finds her new problems arise, along with a whole new load of secrets and emotions…
Note: "talking", 'thinking', lyrics, flashback, note
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My black backpack's stuffed with broken dreams
20 bucks should get me through the week
Never said a word of discontentment
Fought it a thousand times but nowI'm leaving home
Here in the shadows
I'm safe
I'm free
I've nowhere else to go but
I cannot stay where I don't belong
Raven tugged the rough, hand-sewn backpack higher on her shoulder. She had changed into her civilian clothing, which consisted of a dark purple tank top over a black fish net top and a pair of black jeans. On her hands were a pair of fingerless gloves and she wore a scuffed pair of army-style work boots. She glanced over her shoulder, a mixture of guilt and sorrow colouring her features. 'I'm sorry' she thought before levitating up and over the water that separated the island from the city.
'You can never go back if you go through with this you know.' A voice in the back of her head warned
'I know'
'And you're willing to deal with that?' the voice questioned.
'I…if it will keep my friends safe, it doesn't matter what my personal feelings are.'
'Your not just running away?'
'Shut up. I'm not going into this. If I don't leave now, I'll only hurt other people I care about'
Guilt flashed over her delicate features before she was swept up in the memory of what had caused her to leave.
It had started out like any other day, a little on the slow side crime wise, but normal. Raven sat on one of the couches in the TV room, reading and sipping on a cup of herbal tea.She had been oddly jumpy lately. She blamed it on Trigon. Having only recently defeated him, she was suddenly been able to add a good forty years on to her approximate life span. Something she had never had before, having been told since birth that she was destined to die bringing the end of the human race. Whatever the reason, the fact remained that she was a bit on edge at the moment. Therefore, it probably wasn't a good idea to sneak up on her in an attempt to get her attention. Unfortunately Starfire knew none of this.
So, when Raven felt a hand on her shoulder, she acted on pure instinct. Reaching out towards the hand with her powers and throwing the body attached into the wall with a cry of "Don't touch me!"
She turned around to see who it was only to be faced with Starfire grimacing on the ground and clutching her arm protectively.
"S-Starfire are you… oh no" she muttered in horror "L-let me help" she stuttered in her shock. She kneeled down next to her and placed her hands on the injured limb, healing it.
"What was that?" a worried Robin ran in looking around for any potential danger. Seeing none, he relaxed slightly "You two alright"
An unreadable emotion flickered across Raven's face as the rest of the titans came in after Robin. Starfire stood up and moved her arm around a bit, testing for any other injuries. Finding none, she let her arm rest by her side.
"I- Starfire came up behind me. I didn't here her and when she put her hand on my shoulder a panicked. My powers reacted on their own and-" Raven tried to explain before Starfire interrupted.
"It was an accident friend Raven. You did not mean to and I am all right now. Everything is fine." Starfire smiled reassuringly at her. Raven put her hood up.
"I'm sorry," she said softly, before she fled the room, horrified at her own actions.
Despite Starfire's renascences that she was all right, Raven couldn't help but think about what might have happened. Being flung into a wall would have seriously injured any normal human. Only Starfire's Tameranean strength had stopped her from being far worse off. With that in mind, she couldn't stay with the titans. That's why she had left. To make sure none of her other friends got hurt because of her.
Finally she arrived the shore and landed. She stopped for a moment to take a small Polaroid camera out of her bag and take a picture of the tower. Just because she was leaving, didn't mean she wouldn't be taking a bit of it with her. Placing the photo and camera back in her bag, she turned and walked away. She would have a long way to travel tonight if she was not to be found be her friends. She began walking in the direction of the highway, only glancing back once. The image of the tower, peaceful and serene was burned into her mind. She would not go back. Could not, as much as it was killing her inside. She would never be going home again.
- - - - - - - - - - -
"Hey Rav…" Robin looked around the empty kitchen, as if Raven would apear out of thin air, which knowing her wasn't entirely out of the question. "Raven?" That was odd. In all the years of being titans, Raven had always been the first one up. When he walked into the kitchen every morning she was always their, sitting at the table. Reading a book and sipping her tea. She was a constant. The idea of her not being there was…foreign. 'She probably just slept in. That's all.' He rationalized, ignoring the part of his brain that was loudly protesting that this was Raven he was talking about and that she would never wake up late, and proceeded to make his breakfast and sat down to read the newspaper.
"Hey Rob, Raven! Raven? Hey where is she?" Cyborg looked around in confusion when he noticed the lack of their dark companion.
"Don't know. I haven't seen her yet this morning. Maybe she slept in?" Robin looked up at Cyborg while taking a sip of his coffee
Cyborg chuckled and raised an eyebrow. "We talking about the same girl here? This is Raven man. She probably hasn't slept in a day in her life!"
"Should we go check on her then?" Robin questioned, putting down her coffee.
"Hey guys what's up" called Beast boy as he entered the room. "Hey" he said looking around "Where's Rae?" he questioned.
"That's what we're trying to figure out. We haven't seen her yet this morning." Robin explained, not commenting on the fact that Beast boy was actually awake before 11.
"Why don't we just go check on her? I mean, we knock on the door and if she growls at us to go away we'll know she's alright." He commented.
"Why not. BB's right. Besides, worst case scenario, Beast boy goes flying through an open window." Cyborg agreed
"Hey!" cried Beast boy, sounding annoyed.
"Fine. With what happened yesterday, I've been meaning to check up on her. She looked pretty shaken up." Robin said, nodding his head. With that, the three went off in the direction of Raven's room.
"Hello friends!" cried an unmistakable voice from further down the hallway.
"Hey Star" greeted Robin
"Where are you going?" she asked, curious.
"To check on Raven. We haven't seen her yet today." Cyborg explained
"I shall come to. I have been worried about friend Raven. She has seemed upset lately," she said as she began walking with them. As they finally reached the door to Raven's room the four of them stop.
Beast boy stepped towards the door and knocked. "Rae? Raavveenn... Hello?" he called through the door. No one answered, nor was there the expected cry of 'Go away!' they had been expecting. Beast boy shifted into the shape of bug and crawled under the door. Shifting back into human form, he looked around. "Raven? You in here?" there was no answer. "Raven? Raven? Raven, where are you?" he called, each time getting more desperate. He turned to the door and opened it for the three other titans. "Guys, she's not in here!" he didn't know why but something in his gut was telling him that something was very wrong.
Cyborg looked around the room before his eyes came to rest on a small piece of paper left on the bed that Beast boy had overlooked in his frantic search for the missing empath. "Guys, over here." He said solemnly. She was missing and there was a note left on her bed. He didn't need to be a genius to figure out what probably happened. Beast boy ran over to the bed and picked up the note, the other three gathering around him. As he read through the note, tears began to form in his eyes but refused until he read the last line. Suddenly he couldn't hold back the tears and they began to run down his face.
"What does it say?" Robin questioned solemnly. The changeling rubbed his, trying to rid himself of the tears before he began reading out the contents of the note.
"My dear friends. This note is simply to tell you goodbye for I found that I couldn't leave in good conscience without doing so. This has been done in for your own safety and if all has gone well, I will be long gone by the time you read this.
I cannot continue putting you, my friends, at risk. I still lack the control over my powers for me to guarantee your safety or the safety of those we protect. I will probably never have that control as the human blood and demon blood are constantly fighting for control. Whether you read this or not, this is my final goodbye as you will never see me again. Fair well my friends. Live well.
Raven
By this point Starfire had broken down and was crying into Robin's shoulder as he rapped his arms around her and fought back tears of his own. Cyborg looked as if he wanted to tear apart the entire world to find the missing girl. Beast boy had given up controlling his tears and they now flowed unhindered down his face. Only now did he notice the more personal items that usually decorated her room missing. The stuffed Raven he had given her for her birthday, the photos she kept of them, her books. They were gone. Proof that this wasn't just some cruel joke.
"Sh-she…no…she can't be" he murmured. He was heartbroken. Just when he had realized how he felt about her…and now she was gone. "Raven." He said desperately. This wasn't right she couldn't be gone. She had to be here somewhere; but she wasn't. She was gone and she wasn't coming back.
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Two months pass by and it's getting cold
I know I'm not lost
I am just alone
But I won't cry
I won't give up
I can't go back now
Waking up is knowing who you really are
Here in the shadows
I'm safe
I'm free
I've nowhere else to go but
I cannot stay where I don't belong
Here in the shadows
I'm safe
I'm free
I've nowhere else to go but
I cannot stay where I don't belong
Raven sat huddled up in a small bus shelter, waiting for the next Greyhound to New York. It had been a couple of months since she had left. Her friends were so persistent that staying in one place was impossible unless she wanted to get caught. So she had been forced to stay in each place for only a few weeks. Already she had fled from Jump city new a small town outside New Orleans and from there to Atlanta and Washington D.C after that. Everywhere she went there were posters and ads asking for her to come home and money for information on where she was. She could only hope that it would die down after a while. Until then she would just keep moving. She got small, odd jobs where she could and was thankful, for once to her demon blood that allowed her to go for longer periods without food. She sighed; the bus wouldn't be here for at least another 45 minutes. She might as well look through the photos she had taken so far.
She loved taking pictures. It let her capture a moment and go back to look at it whenever she liked. Opening her bag, a medium sized black backpack she had made about a month before she had left while showing her how to sew but because they lacked access to an electric sewing machine, she had shown Starfire hand sewing. This had been the result. Her more neatly sewn black bag, and Starfire's more mangled pink bag.
After digging through her two or three changes of clothes, numerous keepsakes and wallet, she managed to locate the large envelope that the photos were in. She carefully removed them from the envelope and began going through each one.
There were the ones that had been taken before she had left. Shots of all of them joking around at a park or pictures of them individually, doing things that they loved. Beast boy and Cyborg playing Game station, Starfire drinking mustard, Robin practicing martial arts, Cyborg working on his car, Beast boy, in one of his rare serious moments, looking out the window as the sun set. Hell, there was even one of Silkie. There was the photo she'd taken of the tower on the night she left, photos of famous buildings or landmarks in the cities she'd visited, pictures of people, just people, walking, the sun rising and other random, photos that captured the beuty in whatever it was it was portraying.
Sighing, she replaced the photos in the envelope and placed them back in her bag, next to her other precious things. Like the gifts she had gotten for her birthday. The only gifts she'd ever gotten for her birthday. They were there. Anything that reminded her of what she had left behind. Though she had been forced to sell her books back in Washington when she couldn't find a job. It didn't matter though. There was nothing important to her in those books and she had memorized their contents long ago. The only one she had kept had been the book of Azar.
Finally her bus arrived. As she climbed on she couldn't help looking back as the doors closed and thinking 'Is this how I'm going to live for the rest of my life? Always running?' she walked to the back of the bus and took out an old, banged up cd player and, placing the head phones over her ears, let herself forget the rest of the world for a little while.
Show me the shadow where true meaning lies
So much more dismay in empty eyes-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A/N: a new fic to replace the AU naruto fic that I nixed. I like this one alot more. Mostly cause it's easier to write this kind of stuff rather an AU. I may go back to that fic but not for a while. Either way, there were some major problems with the plot that I need to work out.
Anywho, I doubt many of you care about this so see ya and please review!
