A/N Ok this may get confusing because its told from several points of view, each chapter will have the person who is speaking (so to speak) it is also AU because the wrestlers work as doctors but enough of my mumbo-jumbo, take a read and lemme know what you think! Just don't be too cruel unless its meant to help me with my writing!

Onwards Tonto!

Chapter 1 Weapon X; One long century

This was going to one long century. I was so eternally pissed that I wasn't sure if I could control my rage. Something needed to die because the way I saw it, I got screwed. Majorly screwed. Sighing I walked inside Bayview like I owned it, I knew it was risky to be coming here but I couldn't help it. Bayview had become one of my many homes and if I was gonna be stuck here then I was going to sit in a white padded room and do nothing. Who knows maybe I could actually have some fun after thousands of years of working. I flopped down on the shockingly soft bed, I had used some of my old tricks to just sneak into the system. According to the their patient list I had been here three weeks and just stuck to myself. Sighing I rolled over to look at the white wall, if only I could go to sleep forever but nooooo I had to be stuck here. After eveything I had done, I wasn't good enough for death. Typical.

"Good afternoon, how are we feeling?" One of the doctors asked me, I rolled over to find Phil, aka Punk. He wasn't bad but still in my state of being pissed I didn't want to deal with him.

"I'm eternally pissed because I got screwed, how are you?"

He took a seat on the bed, his face turning gentle as though he was dealing with a child. "Why did you get screwed?"

I gave him a sarcastic smile "Because I'm useless to Death, he only wants you if you have a soul or a heart. I have neither"

He raised an eyebrow, his eyes questioning my sanity. I was used to it by now.

"What do you even want Punk?"

"I wanted to make sure your ok, you don't seem to mix with the others"

"All my life I've mixed with others, now I just want to be left alone"

Punk gave a sigh, he didn't know anything about me other than what he saw and a list of my human medications, he didn't even know my name. As far as I was concerned I no longer had one of those, I didn't have anything except a bad leg and a head full of bed memories.

"Look your here for a while so why don't you try to make it easier on yourself"

I gave a snort of sarcastic laughter "The only thing to make it easier is death but since I can't have that I guess I'll just sit here and annoy all of you. I think I earnt that much"

Punk just looked at me clearly confused "How can you say you earnt that?"

"Honey please if it wasn't for me this stupid planet wouldn't even be spinnin"

Punk shook his head trying to stop the millions of questions he had. "Can you at least tell me your name"

"No, now get me a rubix cube. I'm bored"

"Tell me your name and I'll see what I can do"

"Either I get a rubix cube or I brutally murder someone. It's your call"

Sighing he got up, "Fine I'll get the damn cube"

"Good" I sat up and lent against the wall "If you see death on your way tell him I'm willing to deal"

I had to keep my laughter in as I said that, deals was what got me into this crap. You know you shouldn't do something but you do it anyway. Story of my life.

Punk was back in a matter of seconds, smiling somewhat apologetically "I couldn't find a cube but I got cards"

"I guess that can do. You can go now."

"Well you won't be seeing me for a while"

"Because Randy Orton is back from his vaccation" I said matter-or-factly shuffling my cards.

"How did you know?" He asked shocked.

I just rolled my eyes, I had a feeling I was gonna have to say this more than once. "I know everything, you'll get used to it"