Woooooot! It's Tsuna's birthday! Happy birthday to Tsuna~ Happy birthday to Tsuna~ Haha!

Alrighty... This is my little ficlet I made up for our birthday Don. It's kind of a big idea for someone who thought up the idea while walking up the stairs to go to bed...on Xanxus birthday. ^^; But it was ridiculously fun to write! I even got it done in four days! It's a record! XD

Hmm...the only real warning I have is that the humour is as dry as the sand in the middle of the Sahara. And that's dry. Like, reeeeaally dry. I apologize if it's not your cup o' tea. ^^

Aaah, and for your information:

"Speaking"

'Thoughts in any format'

You'll see why in a bit. ^^

Disclaimer: I dun own Katekyo Hitman Reborn! as cool as that might be. Or any of the other stuff I mentioned in this story.


It was one of those many, many things Reborn caused without his knowledge.

No, wait, scratch that. If the damned baby really could read minds like he says he could, then he was long aware of it.

…It was one of those many, many things Reborn caused, probably knowingly.

It started after Reborn waltzed his baby butt through his front door unannounced, with that high pitched, "Ciaossu!" of his and an unhealthy collection of rifles and handguns in a suitcase, and his little chameleon that makes Dying Will bullets, and then shooting him with one of those said Dying Will bullets.

So basically, it was one of those many, many things Reborn caused, probably knowingly, after he shot Tsuna with a Dying will bullet.

Tsuna had been trying to mind his own business while staring out the window, trying his absolute hardest to ignore how the class was still snickering behind his back after his uncanny, unnecessary, unplanned, unwanted, and a couple of more un- adjectives confession to Sasagawa Kyoko, and that stupid challenge Mochida called him out on he was planning to run away from.

'The sky is really blue today, huh…?'

'IT'S REALLY BLUE WITH ITS DYING WILL!'

"Holy-!"

"Sawada! Out in the hall!"

The class burst out in laughter at Tsuna's expense as he quickly scampered out the classroom. Once safely behind the class's closed doors, Tsuna was tugging at his hair.

"Hiiee…! What the hell was that?"

'IT WAS ME AGREEING WITH YOU AS IF I WERE TO DIE!'

It took everything Tsuna had to not start screaming. He was hearing voices in his head!

"Wh-what? Who are you? A-and where are you?"

'I AM YOU! WITH DYING WILL! AND INSIDE YOUR HEAD!'

"Where the hell did you come from!"

'YOUR DYING WILL!'

"You're not making sense! What do you mean 'your Dying Will?'"

'IT'S JUST THAT! I CAME FROM YOUR DYING WILL BECAUSE I AM YOU WITH YOUR DYING WILL!'

"And that doesn't make sense! How can you be me with Dying Will when I'm me with Dying Will when Reborn shoots me! There's only one me!"

'BUT I'M JUST YOU!'

"What? No!"

'YES!'

"No!"

'YES!'

"No!"

'YOU DO REALIZE YOUR ARGUING WITH YOUR SELF OUT LOUD AS IF YOU WERE DYING RIGHT?'

"No! I mean, wait! …What?"

'YOU. ARE. AR-GU-ING. WITH. YOUR-"

"Argh, just shut up! You're making me deaf!"

'YOU CAN'T MAKE YOUR MIND DEAF EVEN WITH DYING WILL!'

Little did, Tsuna know, he really was arguing with his self out loud, and it was doing wonders on his already infamous reputation.

(That day, Tsuna's list of names doubled. It went from, Loser, or No-Good, or Useless Tsuna to Hentai, Underwear Pervert, to just plain, unoriginal, Sociopath. Poor Sociopath Tsuna.)

It was a little later that Tsuna was able to understand what that shouting voice in his head was saying. That voice was his Dying Will self…as its own entity in his own mind. Apparently, after he was shot with a Dying Will bullet, his Dying Will self gained the energy to materialize his own mind in Tsuna's mind.

It was very creepy, no matter how much Tsuna thought about it.

And it was also the least of his worries during Mukuro's fight, as it rightfully should.

Tsuna often regrets that getting shot by the Rebuke bullet was not at the top of his worries.

Tsuna was just minding his own business while staring out his bedroom window during his recuperation, trying to ignore his thoughts about how he was probably going to have nightmares about creepy, laughing pineapples dancing the samba with a kappa and a dog and all these masked men with large top hats as the guests.

…You see why he was trying to ignore his thoughts.

'The sky is really blue today, huh…?'

'Can't you, oh I don't know, think actually entertaining thoughts? I don't think I can even die, much less in peace, if I live in such a boring retard.'

Tsuna was already feeling a migraine coming on.

'What the-!' Tsuna thought, not said, actually remembering his lesson learnt, 'Who the hell are you?'

'No, I believe the question is, "Who. Are. You?"'

'…Huh?'

'Because if you ask who am I, then technically, you'd be asking, who are you. Get it?'

'Um…'

'Got it?'

'M-maybe?'

'Good.'

Tsuna facepalmed. Great. Of course he'd get a smart ass as an extra mind tenant. Just peachy.

'Let me guess. You were born from the Rebuke bullet right?'

'Yep~'

'Then where is my Dying Will self? D-did he disappear when…?'

'Hm? Oh no, no. I just suppressed his powers because he was annoying me with his shouting. Geez, what is wrong with you and having such a weird potential energy?'

Indeed. What the hell was wrong with him.


Now, Tsuna wouldn't be Tsuna if he didn't somehow, in some amount of time, warm up to all that annoyed the freakin' heck out of him. And Tsuna also wouldn't be Tsuna if he didn't think every once and a while, that they were a lot more trouble than they were worth.

Strangely enough (or not so much considering Tsuna wasn't even a big fan of himself in the first place), he almost always thought his mind roomies were a hell lot more trouble than they're worth.

Never mind that these two were what helped him protect his friends, gave him the power to fight for a peaceful existence and blah, blah, blah; you know what Tsuna fights for.

Poor Tsuna couldn't even listen to music without having them interfere.

Such as this one day in mid August, where Tsuna was just relaxing on his bed, headphones arched above his head and music streaming into his ears.

'Good God, what the hell are you listening to.'

Tsuna winced at the sudden inquiring intrusion and frowned at his Hyper Dying Will self.

'Don't say it like that. Haru gave me this CD to listen to whenever I could have a day off. It's this all-boy band, Starish, I believe.'

'THEY MAKE UPBEAT MUSIC AS IF THEY WERE TO DIE!'

'And you can shut up. Why, pray tell, would that insane girl give you music of a sugary coated pop love song?'

'I get enough from Gokudera that she's crazy, please don't you start.'

'Gokudera~ Despite his overly clingy personality around you, he does have a good taste in people.'

'Anyway! She was dragging me through Namimori Mall using me to help her carry some of gymnastics clothing she bought and we stopped at the music store. She bought this CD because she liked the music from this anime whose…name I can't rememb-'

'UTA NO PRINCE-SAMA MAJI LOVE 1000%!'

'…'

'…How do you know that?'

'IT'S ON THE CD CASE!'

'O-oh…'

'Heh heh. Don't you feel stupid?'

'Sh-shut up! You weren't saying anything!'

'Ah, but if I did I would have been interrupting you, just like that brain dead piece of Dying Will energy over there. But, touché, my other self. Now continue.'

'Nn. W-well, she bought the CD for herself but she was really shocked I haven't seen the show myself and- Wait a second! You're in my head! You should know what she said in the first place because you were there!'

'But was I really? Because technically-'

'There's nothing technical about it!'

'Hmph. Fine. I just wasn't listening to her.'

'How could you not! She kept ranting on and on about the show-!'

'And that would be why. I don't listen to squeaky voices that talk on for over thirty seconds. I don't even remember going to the mall with her.'

'HE'S POMPOUS WITH HIS DYING WILL!'

'I don't need you telling me that when you don't make sense half of the time.'

'I MAKE SENSE WITH MY DYING WILL!'

'See? Just like that! You aren't making any sense! Is it your Dying Will that makes sense? You make sense with your Dying Will? Your sentences always have a double meaning and it's frustrating to listen to all the time! Why can't you just-!'

'Not to disturb you while you're finally ranting on him but I'd really like to listen to my music without hearing you two squabble so I'll just tune you guys out now…'

And Tsuna conveniently did just that. It was a useful little trick called "breaking the link" Tsuna always resorted to when his mind "buddies" were a tad bit too much to listen to. His Hyper Dying Will self always hated it whenever he did so, breaking out of his calm, snobbish demeanour just to yell at Tsuna for 'leaving him in the depths of an empty void.'

That was the only repercussion, really. Getting shouted at because your mind was an empty void can do wonders on an already low self-esteem.

…And also, the two could reconnect the link whenever the saw fit.

'Hey, boy with an oblivion as his mind. I just thought of something interesting.'

Just like that.

Tsuna sighed, 'Yes? What is it?'

'If we were an all boy band, you'd so be the cute one.'

Tsuna actually choked on his own breath. After a fit of coughing he responded back weakly, 'Wh-wh-what? What brought this on?'

'That CD full of what people call music. It's by an all boy band and I thought it would be weird if we were an all boy band.'

'I'm glad you see it's a weird thought.'

'Yeah. But see, we could be. I could be the uber cool, badass, sexy lead guitarist and you'd be the cute, innocent but with a spice singer and bassist. We'd be famous.'

'WHAT WOULD I BE?'

'You would be the weirdo that nobody likes so he gets replaced in the end. Oh, and you'd be on the drums.'

'THAT'S REALLY MEAN!'

'That's 'cause I don't like you. I'm not even nice to the weakest of us and I can at least tolerate him.'

'Well, don't I feel loved…'

'You should~'

And that was example one the many headache inducing situations brought on. Example two is an example of how our Tsuna cannot even enjoy the company of his best friends without the two of the filling his thoughts. Such as this one day in late September as Tsuna walked to school.

"Tenth!"

"Tsuna!"

Tsuna turned at the call, a smile on his face upon recognizing their voices.

"Gokudera-kun, Yamamoto, good morning!"

"Good morning, Tenth!"

"Haha, it is a nice morning isn't it?"

And as Tsuna opened his mouth to reply, probably with something Reborn did since his torturer under the pseudonym of his home tutor did wake him up via setting off his mattress full of grenades he set up during the night…

'Aw. Aren't those two just the cutest things with their happy submissive smiles. It almost makes me want to dress them up in a maid costume and order them around to do stuff.'

Tsuna promptly choked on air.

And that's where example two begins.

As Gokudera fretted over his boss and Yamamoto staring at Tsuna with a concerned smile, Tsuna tried to form a coherent thought.

'Wha- Where- Why-'

'I'm sorry; your thoughts are choppy and I can't understand them. Mind clearing them up, please?'

'What the hell? Where did that come from! Why would you even think that!'

'Gah, turn it down why don't you? And how could I not? Their smiles are so placating, I had to.'

'They're both guys! How could you even-'

'Hissy Kitty and Happy Puppy are still fussing over you, you know.'

Tsuna gave a mental glare at his counterpart before assuring his friends that he was fine and that no, he was not dying of a lung disease and had to be rushed to the hospital and Gokudera-kun, just hang up the phone cause it's really okay-

Needless to say, it was a good five minutes before they were walking again.

'You know, if your friends didn't have such a one track mind, I might consider them suitable for you to date.'

Tsuna's jaw dropped.

Fortunately for Tsuna, his jaw dropped during a rather exciting part during Yamamoto's baseball tale, and only served to make Yamamoto a little more excited talking about it.

'What- Just- No. No. No no no no. I like Kyoko-chan! There's no way I'd even consider them!'

'But she's so boriiing. At least choose a girl with flare. Like…Bianchi. She's hot.'

'No- Oh God, no! I'd die dating her! And besides, she one of my friends' sister! That's just wrong…!'

Tsuna conveniently forgot Sasagawa Kyoko is the dearly beloved little sister of Sasagawa Ryohei.

'And has a thing for your tutor, so she's out. But really, be a little open minded. Dating a guy's not too bad, much less liking one. I know it was love at first sight when I saw Mukuro~'

Tsuna wanted to die.

'Mukuro? No! That's just plain creepy! I still have nightmares about him!'

'I LIKE RYOHEI!'

'And thus, the loud ass makes his appearance. Though, Ryohei's pretty goodjust not my type. Oh, but Xanxus? He's an ass but he is really lovely~'

Tsuna mentally cringed, 'Guys, can we please not have a conversation about what is a suitable guy? I like-'

'Kyoko, Kyoko; we got it, we got it. But that doesn't change the fact that she's the most boring girl I have ever laid eyes on and guys are just so much better. Like Hibari. He's a shrimp now but ten years in the future he is just fine.'

'Please…no more…'

'I LIKE SQUALO!'

Tsuna wanted to cry.

'I don't find robots attractive but Spanner's pretty cute. But Genkishi in that Hel lArmor of his is too badass. And don't even get me started on Torikabuto's mask!'

Tsuna felt like puking.

'I LIKE LEVI!'

Tsuna promptly vomited all over the sidewalk.

"T-Tenth!"

"Tsuna…!"

'Oh, now that is just disgusting.'

'HE'S PUKING WITH HIS DYING WILL!'

"I feel sick…"

"Tenth! Please allow me to call the hospital! You are gravely ill!"

"Haha, I think Tsuna should just rest in the infirmary when we get to school! It doesn't seem that bad!"

"You idiot! The Tenth just threw up! How can you say he just needs to rest in the infirmary! This is a first-class dire medical situation! We need to-!"

"Go-Gokudera-kun, we don't-ugh- need to go to the hospital… It was probably something I ate this morning…"

"But Tenth-!"

"If you're so concerned, why don't you just carry him to school, Gokudera?"

"What? Fuck no, Baseball Idiot! Do you know how-!"

"Ugh…I-I'm fine with it Gokudera-kun."

"Okay! If you say so, Tenth!"

And the three were off to school…again, with Tsuna on an overly happy Gokudera's back and a wistful Yamamoto next to him.

'You two are so disgusting.'

It was normal, No-Good Tsuna that reinitiated the conversation.

'Why, my dear me, I don't know what you are talking about. All we were doing was stating our preferences! I haven't even mentioned why I like Byakuran~'

'Your preferences are just the people you've fought and who shout too much!'

'THEY SHOUT WITH THEIR DYING WILL!'

'Please. If I know how good they are fighting then they'll most definitely be good in be-"

Tsuna cut the mental link.

(About two months later, Tsuna idly wondered why his Dying Will self didn't mention Gokudera and why his Hyper Dying Will self didn't mention Enma.)


And it was normal to have a bunch of bad times and a couple of good memories sprinkled here and there.

Just like with his friends, Tsuna's mind buddies knew how to pull through for him in the end.

Such as this one evening in October.

The evening of October the Thirteenth, to be more specific.

Tsuna had been lying on the bed, face buried in his pillow and exhaustion flooding his form.

It had been a typical birthday for him, Reborn that is, in that not so typical way. Tsuna came in after school to find the house bustling in hubbub, throwing together the last preparations for the grand party. Tsuna knew better that to ask for his own birthday party in the midst of Reborn's party, but as the time went on and the party dragged, it became somewhat clear to Tsuna that this was the only celebration they were having this October.

He figured he should have expected his birthday to be forgotten again.

'Hey, you with my face, only cuter when mine's sexy. Why is it so long?'

'…Huh?'

'That was the cool way to say, "why the long face." Except if you say it, it won't be cool 'cause I'm the one who makes it cool.'

'Oh, shut up. I'm not in the mood to deal with you and your snotty ass personality at the moment.'

'Whoa. Spicy.'

'HE'S SULKING WITH HIS DYING WILL!'

'I am not sulking.'

'Right. And I'm not your Hyper Dying Will self who likes a good fighter and is the hottest one of us.'

'Seriously, guys. Just…buzz off for a while, okay?'

'Hell no. Do you know how scary it is in your mind right now. There's like these dark clouds that keep trying to take over everything and they're cold. You cannot leave us here to fend through these clouds.'

"Yes, I very well can and will, thank you very much.'

'YOU SHOULD TALK WITH US! WE CAN HELP WITH OUR DYING WILL!'

'…'

'What the douche said. Come, come, O Normal One. Dearest Hyper Dying Will self will help you with aaaall your problems~'

'…You guys need names.'

'You're just now thinking about that.'

'…They forgot my birthday.'

'WHO FORGOT YOUR BIRTHDAY!'

'Just about everyone is who. After I got home from school, everybody was already there rushing to get in the last minute preparations for Reborn's birthday party today.'

'Huh. How convenient for the little squeaker to have a birthday a day before yours.'

'I wouldn't have minded if we could have a joint party like we did last year… I mean sure, they forgot then but I still got to celebrate it.'

'THAT BIRTHDAY PARTY WAS FUN!'

'Shut up! You're not helping any cause! And anyway, this doesn't seem like you. I didn't think you were one to celebrate your birthday in the first place.'

'If I have friends I can celebrate it with, why shouldn't I?'

'Oh…'

'I-it really isn't so much that it's my birthday I wanna celebrate. It's a special day, my special day, and I thought it would be great to celebrate with them. B-but, it doesn't matter anymore s-since they forgot. I'll just celebrate on m own, like I did before Reborn came.'

'HEY! DON'T FORGET ABOUT US!'

'E-eh?'

'That's right! You won't be alone on your birthday! You still have us! Even though that guy over there isn't what you'd actually call ideal company.'

'HEY!'

'And have some faith in your friends. I may not think they're the best of company, but you've been through a lot side by side. They might pull through for you in the end.'

A slow smile spread Tsuna's lips.

'…Thanks, you guys.'

'NOT A PROBLEM!'

'Indeed. Now I hope you won't be spending your birthday only playing videogames.'

'Eh? But that's exactly what I was planning to do! I have the Legend of Zelda Master Collection on GameCube and I was planning to work on beating Zelda II!'

'And? Still doesn't change the fact you need a life.'

'Hey! What did you expect for me to do?'

'…How's Namimori's clubs?'

'Hell no!'

'Prude.'

'It's called morals! Besides, Zelda II is supposed to be Zelda's hardest game! I chose this game knowing you would want a challenge!'

'…A challenge you say? Well, I suppose I can tolerate your lack of adventure sense and see what this game's about.'

'HE LIKES A CHALLENGE WITH HIS DYING WILL!'

And that night, Tsuna went to bed feeling better about his birthday than he's ever had in a while.

He was feeling so much better that when he woke up due to Reborn waking him up with his ten ton mallet, he didn't even complain…as much. He was so elated that when he sat down to breakfast, he didn't even mind get stared at as if something was wrong and he was the cause of it. Hell, he didn't even mind when even Yamamoto and Gokudera, who despite chatting on as they do every day, snuck glances at his small form as if he was the cause of a mental distress.

Tsuna had a good day.

'IT'S REALLY SHINY IN HERE!'

'I know. I feel like a freaking vampire in your mind. It's too bright here! I think I'm going to shrivel and die in a swirl of fiery dust!'

'But I'm in a good mood. It's not every day I'm actually looking forward to going home!'

'Yeah. I can see that in your mind. Literally.'

'How can you blame me?'

'It's sorta kinda maybe scary. You're not even perturbed that your possessive kitty and oblivious puppy aren't following you.'

'They left sometime before lunch. I don't know why, though if they have their reasons, they have their reasons.'

'SO UNDERSTANDING WITH YOUR DYING WILL!'

'More like uncaring…'

'It's just I don't mind. I got it around my head we weren't hanging out together today so it doesn't bother me as it could have…!'

'Oooh~ Is that your inferiority complex speaking?'

'N-No! Shut up!'

'Heh heh. Whatever you say~'

Tsuna refrained from retorting back to his other self as he stepped onto the doorstep, hand already twisting the doorknob.

"I'm hom-"

"SURPRISE!"

Tsuna's jaw dropped.

"Wh-what…?"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

"E-eh? M-my…wh-what?"

A sharp pain erupted in his shin and Tsuna immediately crouched to nurse it, but the surprise kept him from shouting in pain as he would have.

His eyes stared into large, black ones once he knelt.

"Re-Reborn?"

Reborn smirked. "Cat got your tongue, No-Good Tsuna?"

Quite obviously. Tsuna couldn't even reply to that.

But Reborn knew what the cause of Tsuna's irresponsiveness was and gave a knowing smirk.

"Can't you see? It's your birthday party."

"Birthday…?"

"Oh , Tsu-kun, did you forget your birthday was today?" Sawada Nana stepped up to her still shell shocked boy as he stood and placed her hands on his cheeks. "Silly Tsu-kun! How could you forget?"

And by the sheepish look in her eyes, Tsuna could tell that her off-handed chide was directed towards herself; she forgot. But it wasn't the sheepish look in her eyes that gave it away. Tsuna could tell by the banner that hung and read "Happy Birthday, Tsuna!" over his head was simply the back of the banner they used for Reborn. The streamers that decorated the ceiling were ripped and torn, some only held together by an excessive amount of tape due to how badly Lambo had tried to hang off of them the day before. The wrappings on the gifts the party some of the attendants had wasn't even a single wrapping and was obviously recycled by taping multiple wrapping papers together. And though the cake, secured in Sasagawa Kyoko's arms, was just freshly baked if how the icing looked slightly melted, the unlit candles stuck in it were blackened at the tips from when they were lit for Reborn.

It wasn't a grand or even remotely pretty party set up. And Tsuna knew that.

But they still got together and did their best to make up for their mistake. They worked just as hard to give him a party.

That was what mattered the most.

'It looks like a dump in here! What did they do, use the trash from that baby's party?'

'RECYCLING WITH THEIR DYING WILL!'

'Damn. This is kind of a sorry excuse for a party. But, hey, they did get together in the end right? I told you that they might pull through for you.'

And Tsuna laughed. His laugh reverberated and left everybody speechless and staring in shock. Tsuna fixed his friends and family a warm, fond smile, his eyes narrowing in its warmth.

"Thank you, everyone."

'And that goes for you two, as well.'

'W-well, you should feel grateful. I-it's not easy figuring out what to say to brighten an already dark void…!'

'…Are you stuttering?'

'I-I'm not stuttering!'

'HE'S BLUSHING AND STUTTERING WITH HIS DYING WILL!'

'Sh-shut up! I'm not stuttering! And I can't blush! I'm only an entity in his mind!'

'YOU'RE STILL STUTTERING!'

'I'm no-'

'But you were.'

'Nn…! Whatever…! I don't think I have heard you laugh before. If I don't get exposed to it, I can't build up resistance to it, just like have with everything else about you.'

Tsuna chuckled quietly, 'I think I feel sorta flattered…!'

'Don't get too flattered. I'm still the most desirable out of us.'

'AND EGOTISTICAL!'

'Yes, yes, the list can go on~'

Tsuna laughed again and walked to his friends with a large smile as they inched closer to him, everybody greeting him and talking simultaneously.

Honestly, it wasn't any different. Just like his friends, they had their faults and flaws. No matter what though, trouble, training, everyday occurrences, his mind entities knew what to do and what to say to pull through in the end.

They became just as important as the people he was fighting for and Tsuna was looking forward to the times they'll spend together.

(And as happy of a note that is, what Tsuna failed to realize after all this time is that they'll always be spending time together. They're stuck in his mind after all. It's a lifetime of headaches, Tsuna.)


*Phew!* That is complete! I apologize for any mistakes (ff-dot-net screwed up my formats...)! Now I'm off to go do some personal celebration of Tsuna's birthday...! And Happy belated birthday Reborn!