The Three Good For Nothings

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

Chapter 1: Three Idiots

It was a beautiful day in Konohagakure or simply known as Konoha. Everyone was going on their day, minding their own business.

…It kinda felt like some déjà vu…

Currently, nothing of importance was happening in the village.

WHACK!

Nothing at all…

SMACK!

It was very peaceful in the village full of ninjas…if only something would happen…

BOING!

Our story…or rather the story starts here. You're not in it.

In a building, more specifically the hokage's office was a man with bright, blue eyes and spiky, blonde hair that had jaw-length bangs framing either side of his face.

He wore the standard Konoha shinobi uniform which was more blue than most and had two bands on both of his sleeves, a green flak jacket, blue forehead protector, and blue sandals. Over this he wore a short-sleeved long white haori over his normal attire, closed in the front by a thin, orange rope. The haori was decorated with red flame-like motifs on the edges and on the back was kanji written vertically down the back.

This was the Fourth Hokage…and the kanji also for the fourth hokage.

His name was Minato Namikaze.

He looked up from his paperwork to see one of his shinobi enter the room. "Lord fourth."

"Yes?" he asked as he placed his pen down.

"Naruto and Sasuke are fighting in the middle of the street again!" he said.

Minato just sighed. "Well…they do say that a rivalry is healthy, right?" glancing as his shinobi he told him what to do. "Stop them and tell them to go to the training fields and if they don't listen to you, get Iruka."

The shinobi nodded before he vanished.

Meanwhile in the Konoha Military Police Force, a similar event was occurring.

"Fugaku-sama!" one of the Uchiha said as he entered Fugaku's office.

Fugaku had his arms crossed as he was looking down at some papers before looking up at the Uchiha who entered.

Fugaku had short, brown hair that reached to his shoulders and onyx-coloured eyes, with visible creases below them. He wore the standard flak jacket, along with a black shirt with the Konoha Military Police Force symbol on the shoulders, shin-guards, and a black, open-front apron with white diamonds on them.

"Hn…?"

"Sasuke and Naruto are fighting in the street!"

"I see." Fugaku said as he looked back down at the papers.

"Uh…Fugaku-sama?" the Uchiha was quite confused at how the head of the Uchiha had just ignored the problem.

"This happens more than you would think." The head said.

"R-Really?" the nameless Uchiha asked as Fugaku nodded.

Fugaku then looked back down…with his arms still crossed.


Two fists found themselves in two faces. The owners of both fists stumbled backwards.

"Your punches are like a gentle gust of wind against my skin!" the first said…before spitting out some blood.

"Heh, getting hit by you is like a being tickled with a feather!" the second one said…as blood dripped from his mouth.

These two were Naruto and Sasuke.

Naruto wore a long sleeved, short black shirt robe with orange trimmings, dark pants similar to his shirt and a orange and black belt that was wrapped around his waist and sort of looked like a small obi. Underneath his shirt robe was a long sleeved mesh armour shirt.

However he wore the left sleeve down that drooped over his belt…so he only had one arm through one sleeve.

He had blonde, spiky hair and blue eyes with the most distinct feature being three whisker marks on his cheeks.

Sasuke however wore dark blue pants, sandals and a short sleeved black shirt. However, overtop of his black shirt was a purple kimono or yukata that hung loose, exposing his chest (which showed his shirt) and went down to his midcaff.

He also wore a bandage covering his forehead and his right eye.

He had black eyes and spiky black hair with a blue tint.

"What are you two doing?" a voice called out as both Naruto and Sasuke turned to the person who asked.

…It was Iruka.

Iruka wore the standard Konoha uniform. He had brown hair tied into a high ponytail, dark eyes and a scar that ran across the bridge of his nose.

"Just talking like gentlemen…" they both said at the same time.

"Oh?" Iruka got his fist ready. "Is that so?"

"I-Iruka..." Naruto muttered as he raised a hand. "This can be explained!"

"Then explain." The chunin said with a not so believable smile that promised pain.

"Well…"


Naruto was walking down the street of Konoha, where he then spotted Sasuke.

...However he was looking at the bandages over Sasuke's right eye.

The two stared at each other. "…The fuck is with those bandages over your eye!" the blonde shouted.

"I have sustained a great injury." The black haired one said.

"Bullshit!" the blonde then grabbed the bandages around Sasuke's eye as the Uchiha fell to the ground.

"You filthy idiot!" the Uchiha said as he fell to the ground.

"What the hell are you doing? Why are you wearing a bandage over your eye when it's not even damaged? Why did you change your voice to sound feminine?" Naruto asked question after question as he pointed at the idiot on the ground. "What the hell?! Why were you laying on the ground like a model and giving me that look?!"

Sasuke had already stood up as he dusted himself off. "What the hell is wrong with you?!" he heard the blonde shout. "And why is your eye still closed?!"

"For consistency's sake, and I had to put on a good show for the audience." Was the reply from the Uchiha.

"You truly are an idiot!"

"Oh? And what about you?" he pointed at the whiskered blonde. "Look at your outfit. You always have that left sleeved drooped over your belt. Why do you always wear it like that?"

"N-No reason." The blonde said as he held the arm that wasn't in a sleeve.

"Why in the first place do you need to have one arm out?" the Uchiha asked question after question just like the blonde as he had already put the bandages back on. "Because you can't be bothered? How do you put it on, then? Do you put it on and then take the arm out? Why? You put in on correctly but go out of your way to take it out? Even though that's a pain? Why?"

Naruto's face was just getting red with anger…or embarrassment. "Oh, I'm sorry." The Uchiha apologized…without actually feeling sorry. "Did you think it looked cool or something?"

"At least it's cooler than your god damn eye bandage!"

"No it's not! My bandages over my eye make me twenty percent cooler!"

"Statistics don't mean shit!"


"…And that is how we became who we were today."

"I see, I see." The chunin said. "But you do realize…that because of this, you're late to class…"

"…" the two immediately turned around and ran.

Iruka just smiled as he watched them run. If they were smart, they would go straight to the academy.

Too bad they were idiots.

Iruka then narrowed his eyes. These were only two idiots…where was the third one?


Iruka easily found the third one and easily sneaking up behind him, he gripped his shoulder hard.

"Kiba…" the scarred shinobi said with a kind smile.

"I-Iruka!" said troublemaker stiffened.

"Why are you out here and not in class?" the grip tightened on his shoulder.

"H-Hey, let's not do anything rash!" at soon as Iruka let go, Kiba immediately turned around and put his hands up.

Kiba had messy bown hair, sharp black eyes with vertical slit-like pupils, pronounced canine teeth, and nails that could change into claws with two distinctive red fang markings of the Inuzuka clan on his cheeks.

He wore an open grey, hooded fur-lined coat with sleeves that went to his wrists and had the same fur-lining as his hood which he wore the hood down. He also sported black fingerless gloves, grey pants reaching his calves and sandals like any other ninja.

"Those two idiots were fighting so I decided to just leave them there. I was going to involve myself!"

Iruka only raised an eyebrow. "So you decided to not come to class and rather do your own thing?"

"H-Hey now…"

"Get to class Kiba…now."

"R-RIGHT!" he watched his student ran off as he looked to the side.

Iruka sighed as he walked in the direction of the classroom. "Those three better be there…" Iruka rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Just a few more days…a few more days, a week or two at max, and then I'm free."


The bell rang as the occupants of the class had left…well most of them.

"Kiba Inuzuka, Sasuke Uchiha, Naruto Uzumaki." Iruka said the name of the three idiots before them.

Soon a fist landed on all three of their heads.

Hard!

THUD!

CRACK!

TWANG!

"WHY THE HELL WAS MINE A TWANG?!" the blonde of the three shouted.

"It's because you're obviously the most idiotic one here." The Uchiha replied.

"Pft, if anyone it's Kina!" Naruto shouted. "He's the tritagonist!"

"It's not Kina, its Kiba!" the mutt shouted back. "Besides you self proclaimed protagonist, it's obviously Sasuke! Look at the pointless bandage!"

"Are you even fit to be a deuteragonist?" asked the Uzumaki. "I think you should be a supporting role and get a lot of screen time."

"Are you trying to kill me!" the one eyed Uchiha shouted at the blonde. "Everyone knows that a supporting character with too much screen time will die!"

"Actually, he needs to be likeable." The Inuzuka pointed out. "Otherwise, he'll just be there."

"That's true. We might just make him a one time only character, like an anime only filler character that will never be brought up again."

Sasuke slammed both of his hands on the table they were at while standing up. "That's it!" he shouted. "Both of you are going to die in your sleep!"

SNAP!

CRACKLE!

POP!

"God damn it!" the three muttered as Iruka huffed.

"Are you three done?"

"Sorry…" they muttered.

"Seriously you three, you guys are about to graduate as ninjas." Iruka groaned as he walked back over to his desk. "Honestly, at least try to go easy on me before you graduate…"

"No promises." The three said in unison.

The brown haired teacher was about to shout at the three, but after years of spending years with the three, he had built up some 'resistance' in a sense.

"Just…behave til you graduate." He muttered. "I feel sorry for however there sensei is…even more so if they get all three of them on the same team."

"Anyways, the three of you can go." Iruka was looking down at his desk and didn't need to look up too know that those three had already left.

He could hear them clearly.

The three were arguing about something, problem who was the 'protagonist' or something stupid like that.

Iruka looked from his desk as he saw the three previously arguing boys. Despite their interactions with each other, they were quite good friends.

However, at the end of the day, they were just…

…Three good for nothings.