Title: His Last Word
Category: Life With Derek
Rating: T
Genre: Tragedy/Angst/Romance
Pairing: Casey/Derek
Prompt: #03 - Funeral
Word Count: 800
Summary: The last words he ever said to her were...
His Last Words
-Drabble-
The last words he ever said to her were, "Stop being a spaz, Space Case. Some of us are winners and others, meaning you, are losers."
Two hours later, while on her way to meet Emily somewhere, probably to bitch about him, she was hit by a car and was labeled DOA. Apparently her being an Ace driver didn't mean everybody else was.
He was the one who answered the phone with his usual careless, "Yeah?" And then he got the shock of his life and everything in his world turned upside down. He didn't really remember what happened after that, he blanked out, not answering their questions. He knew his dad took the phone, trying to figure out what had him acting so weird, and then it was chaos. There was crying and yelling, but he just sunk down to the floor, using the wall to hold himself up and he didn't move for the next two days. He just stared out, eyes wide, holding his knees to his chest.
The funny thing, or maybe not so funny, was that he loved her. Really, he did. He loved fighting with her and getting her riled up and knowing that whatever he did, good or bad, she'd spend the next while thinking of him, mulling over every little action and then ranting and raving to whoever would listen. He liked always being on her mind and the one who could push her every button with as little as a smirk. Nobody else could elicit that reaction; not Sam or Max or Snot. Nobody. Just him. But he couldn't say that kind of stuff to her, so he kept it simple. He insulted her, drove her crazy, played the jackass step-brother up as best he could. And he enjoyed it; he loved seeing her flushed and red and her entire body taut with anger and passion.
But all of that ended that day and all he could think was that his last words to her had been mean and cruel and she had absolutely no idea what he really meant, what he really felt. Nobody did. So he stood there awhile later, dressed in some too-tight black suit, staring down at the casket with no facial expression whatsoever. Earlier, when they had asked him to talk about her, he shook his head, left the room. He let them believe he was that much of a jerk that he wouldn't say anything about his step-sister that he tormented every day. He let everybody think he was selfish and could care less that she was gone. But they pushed and pushed until he finally broke.
"I can't do it, okay? I just can't! Because I'm going to get up there and they're all going to expect me to say something funny or mean or joke about how many good and bad times we had and I can't! Because she was Case - she was Spacey - and she was crazy and neurotic and I was so in love with her that it physically hurts right now. So can you leave me the hell alone, please?" He was crying by then, red in the face and shaking. He didn't wait for them to reply, he just hurried up the stairs, slammed the door, turned up his music and didn't come out until the day of her funeral.
He didn't move, didn't flinch, didn't look at anybody. He didn't hear what they said, didn't listen to the crappy pop music they would've played and didn't accept hugs or handshakes or anything. Instead, he waited for it all to be over and then he tossed a single daisy into the hole she was to be buried in, turned and left, yanking his tie off and throwing it to the ground. He went to the school, broke into the hockey rink and skated circles around and around until he was too exhausted to move anymore, and then he fell asleep on the bench, shaking and crying and screaming obscenities to no one in particular. He woke up to the janitor shaking him and managed to stumble home, where he ignored the family that all sat in somber silence, went upstairs and crawled into her bed, surrounded by all the pink, girly crap that she loved so much. He fell asleep there and hoped he never woke up. But he would and he'd have to go on and he would. Because he was Derek Venturi and she was Casey MacDonald and now the only people who knew about how he really felt was his family. Not the person that should have though. Because she was dead and buried and his last words to her were all that she'd really remember... Something he would regret for the rest of his life.
