A/N: Okay, here she is, the supertopsecret story. :) The title is a song by Lifehouse which I highly recommend you download/listen to. The chapter titles are lyrics to various songs, in this case, the song "Can't Turn Away" by the Plain White T's. Anyway, on with the story!


Disclaimer: I own a red iPod and this plot. So if you could try not to wrongfully sue me, that would be awesome.


Chapter One – Can't Turn Away.

I watched as the seven-year-old me fumed, arms crossed and my back to him where he played in the middle of the street.

He's such a brat, my dream-self thought. As hard as I tried, I couldn't make her –myself– turn around and get him out of the street. I watched again in horror as the second I finally decide to turn around, a car came barreling down the street, right for where he was playing. I watched as little-me screamed in horror.

"TOMMY! GET OUT OF THE STREET! TOMMY!"

He just smiled up at me, a toothy little grin. The smile turned frightening, creepy – like he knew what was about to happen, but he really didn't care.

"TOMMY!" I heard myself cry.

He waved as I tried as hard as I could to reach him, pull him out, from the fate that already happened.

"Bella," he sang, whispering.

I was desperate. Then, just as he was about to get hit –

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

I bolted upright, drenched in cold sweat. Not the dream again, I thought. I shook my head, trying to rid it of the lingering images. I welcomed the chill on my bare legs as I swung them over the bed, free of the blanket. Rushing so I could fully wake up, I grabbed my toiletries bag and went to take a cold shower. Towel-drying my plain brown hair as I walked into the closet.

I grabbed the usual – dark-blue jeans, a plain white t-shirt with just a logo on it and a light-blue zip-up hoodie, finished off with a pair of black ballet flats. All designer brands, of course, thanks to Alice; my personal stylist and best friend of 10 years, and room mate since grade 7.

Seventh grade was when we started going to boarding school; Anella Pacific Academy in California. Charlie was good friends with Mr. Cullen, so when Alice's dad decided to send both her and her brother to APA, he insisted that I go too, and not only that, but he also wanted to pay for it as APA is extremely expensive. Being a great surgeon, he was able to afford many luxuries. And Charlie was more than happy to let me and Emmett go.

Of course, I didn't realize how costly it was until she accidentally let it slip when we got to campus. The campus wasn't at all like a school campus. It had a huge mall with all kinds of restaurants: Chinese, Indian, Mexican, Italian, fast food restaurants too. The dorm rooms were also unbelievable. I got roomed with Alice and our other friend, Rosalie, my older brother Emmett's girlfriend. It was huge, three beds and three walk-in closets. The bathroom was right across the hall and all the classrooms were nearby, except for the gym. It was a work-out in itself to get to gym.

I plastered a fake smile on and sighed as I heard Alice impatiently knock quickly on our room door, I locked it with exaggerated slowness just to annoy her.

"Jeez, just come on already," she said exasperated when I was slowly walking down the towards where she was standing by the glass doors. She was wearing a plain brown shirt with a plain white T-shirt and flip-flops to match; something that she never did, she always went full out with fashion unless something was wrong. "Or I'll take you shopping tonight," she rose her eyebrows in an 'I'm-totally-serious-I-dare-you-to-doubt-me' look.

"Alright, alright. No need to be pushy," I smiled so she knew I was joking. I ran toward the door to not test her today. I searched her face for any sign that I was going to have to survive yet another shopping trip.

"Bella, what are we going to do with you?" she sighed.

I smiled. "Not take me on a shopping trip?" I knew I was pushing my luck.

But she chuckled, "Okay, not tonight. But this weekend we need to. We're driving up to this cute little shop I found. Charlie already gave me the okay, so don't bother trying that one."

"Damn pixie," I mumbled under my breath.

"I heard that," Alice glared at me, mockingly. "Oh, and Bella? Happy Birthday." She raised one eyebrow daring me to continue annoying her.

My mouth hung open slightly and I was silent after that. Alice knew I hated birthdays, and even more so, what came with birthdays around Alice Cullen – birthday parties.

"You're birthday party is this weekend, Saturday – it's also part of the reason why we're going shopping. It's already scheduled, so if you try to back out, well, you know what will happen." She grinned evilly.

She may be small, but she can put up one hell of a fight. I learned that the hard way; Never put on baggy, old sweatpants in front of Alice.

She was muttering under her breath as Edward, her brother, brushed past her shoulder roughly without so much as an apology. Her mood was already foul from her encounter with me this morning, and whatever made her upset in the first place. I felt for Edward, even if he was a jerk. A player-jerk with sexy untidy bronze hair and gorgeous emerald eyes. A player with a swoon-worthy crooked smile. Damn him and his sexy smile. He was too alluring for his own good.

Alice stomped over to her older brother while I stood there, knowing only trouble would come if I came between her and her brother. She looked furious with her hands on her hips occasionally poking him in the chest and her lips moving to fast for me to read. Edward seemed confused and angry, his eyebrow furrowed looking down on her. He ran a hand through his hair and said something, then pointedly looked at me and back to her. Her jaw dropped and she tried to slap him but he grabbed her hand and forced it to her side while saying something else. She threw her hands in the air and screamed something at him and stomped back to me, roughly grabbing my arm with a growled "come on," leaving him looking stunned and attracting attention of a few bystanders.

"So," I said cautiously, "do you wanna tell me what that was about?"

I looked at her from the corner of my eye when I heard her sigh. "Nope," she said sweetly, popping the p.

An awkward silence followed that, something that rarely happened with Alice around. I had a feeling that whatever Edward said and did upset her very much. And that really pissed me off. I mean, so what if he was her brother, he should treat her right, like the big brother he is. Like how Emmett treats me, being his sister. He shouldn't ever want to upset or hurt her. Silently fuming, I missed Alice's question.

"Huh?" I said stupidly.

She laughed, "I said, we have a sub today, so we're not doing anything in English. What do you want to do?"

"Oh," I was surprised, Mr. Russell never took a sick day. "Um, how about we play cards?" I pulled out my deck smiling.

"When are you going to learn," she giggled, "I always beat you."

I giggled back, "Well, I'm feeling lucky today!" It was a little game we played; I pretended like I seriously thought I would win when I knew she would. It never failed in cheering her up, something it seemed like she needed now.


The day passed by quickly, and before I knew it, I was attacked by a huge bear hug behind me.

"Emmett!" I squealed as he spun me around.

"BELLS!" his roaring laughter brought attention to us.

"Emmett, please put me down," I whined when I got dizzy. He pouted but complied. I swayed slightly and Emmett pulled me into a booth at the nearest restaurant.

"Did you have the dream again today?" he asked when everyone but us went up to order. Of course he would be the only one to notice my fake happy attitude, we had that whole "twin telepathy" thing going on. Rosalie and Jasper, her twin brother, say that they had no idea what we were talking about, but they weren't as close as me and Emmett.

I sighed, "Yes."

He frowned slightly, a rare occurrence on Emmett's face, "Oh, Bella. I'm sorry." He hugged me.

"S'okay," I whispered, hugging him back. "You really don't have to do this every time."

"What're big brothers for then?" he smiled.

"You're a minute older! Only a minute, hardly my big brother," I teased him, knowing fully well that he was literally my big brother. Emmett was huge. He had incredible bands of muscles wrapped around his arms and he played football. I think he played half-back or something. In sports, everything was the same to me, big guys tackled other big guys for an oval shaped ball into the goal-post things. I felt for anyone who had to deal with Emmett, having experienced his 'soft' side was bad enough.

Emmett sighed, suddenly serious again. "You know it's not your fault, Bella."

Everyone told me that. For ten years, everyone has been saying it's not my fault. I didn't believe them. How could I when it was my fault?

"I just want the dreams to stop, Emmy." I knew I sounded like a little kid, but this was something that haunted me since I was a little kid. I leaned into his shoulder and sighed at the familiar, comforting smell of my brother. I had to admit, Rosalie was one lucky girl.

"Bella, if you want the dreams to stop, something has to change. Maybe you should get out more, date a little bit. Emphasis little." I giggled as he pulled on his big brother mode again. Sighing as I thought about it, I realized he was right.

Something has to change.

"I'll do anything, Emmett. I can't stand seeing him there, I'm so desperate."

"Seeing who where?" Alice asked with a twinkle in her eye. She thought I was talking about a guy. Alice didn't know about the accident. No one knew except for our family and Carlisle. And the people down in Phoenix.

"Um, nothing. Are those tacos?" Emmett pounced on them. I giggled and Rose rolled her eyes.

"Your big brother," Alice muttered. Em was too busy devouring his tacos to glare at Alice.

I grabbed one taco, not being very hungry, and picked at it, just staring at it and thinking about what Emmett said. When I looked up I saw Edward staring at me, curiosity and worry in his gaze. I stared back with interest, only breaking free when Jasper asked me to pass the sauce.

Change, I thought. I need to do something different. I suddenly had an idea.

"Hey Alice," I started. She gestured for me to go on. "Want to do something tonight? I'm up for anything." I smiled.

She looked shocked, then she swallowed and smiled back. "Of course, have anything in mind?"

"Nah, anything you want to do, I'm up for."

She eyed me, looking for something to say otherwise. When she didn't find anything, she smiled.

"How about a house party? A friend of mine is having one and she doesn't live too far away…"

I smiled. "Perfect."

Oh yes, I was definitely doing something different. I must be really desperate for change if I'm going to a party.

But I'd do anything to get that dream as far away from me as possible. Anything.

I can't run, can't turn away now.
It
's all the same, nothing ever changes.
The long days, the ten cent raises
A few bucks in my pocket
's gotta go a long way.
22, got my whole life ahead of me.
but still, lettin
' life get the best of me.
Gotta stop, and just leave it up to destiny now.
I don
't know how much more of this I can handle
But I know that good things
Come to those who wait.


How'd you like it? Good? Bad? Lemme know! :3 Oh, and I've made a book cover for this so if you'd like to see it, just ask. Hehe, I don't bite!