Pain.

It hurts. It hurts so much. Goddamned love. Every time I think I've gotten over him, he turns around and fucks me up al over again. Maleficent told me he had forgotten me. That he only cared about Kairi. So, I forgot him. Or, at least, I tried. God knows I tried. But…no matter how much I tried, how many times I told myself that he was gone from my life, my heart just didn't want to hear it.

And now he's looking down at me, sprawled on the floor, Keyblade scattered across the floor, and I want nothing more than to break down in tears. I want him to hold me. I want him to soothe me, tell me everything's going to turn out alright in the end. A tear finds its way out of me, slowly slithering down my cheek; I want to scream at him. Scream, "I love you! Listen I love you!"

But I don't. I let the darkness take me over, the pain in my heart eating me up from inside. I can feel his eyes on me, pleading, begging me to stay. Sparkling with unshed tears. And then nothing. I feel Ansem. I see him, standing on a cruel mockery of our old island. Him, laughing at my beloved, telling lies against everything he knows is true. And now I am screaming. I'm screaming at him to get away while he still can, to please save me. And then nothing again.

I wince in pain, seeing him be hurt. Knowing that some part of me is what's doing it to him. Knowing that if he falls, I'll never forgive myself. If he falls, I don't even know what I'd do. And it hurts. It truly does. Pain blooms in my chest with every passing blow. I try to hide from it. I try to think about that one summer, when things got so hot that we couldn't even get to the water, the sand was so hot. But nothing comes. I search frantically in the darkness, trying desperately to find some scrap of him, of us. I try to remember how we shared our first kiss, or the cool uncertainty that followed. Even the tearful apology he tried to give me, and that I refused to accept.

Nothing.

And I think that hurts the most. That feeling that there's nothing left. I've truly gone and fucked everything up. I've given into darkness, and by doing so, I've lost everything I had with him. Every sunset, every afternoon spent lazing about, all are gone. The pain in my very core takes over, and then there's just emptiness. I can't feel anything. No Ansem, no island, nothing.

And there he is again. Pulling me up, saving me from myself. I laugh to myself; I know that he's going to only ever think of me as a close friend, as his confidant. But I'm happy with this, I suppose.

And then his body shakes, and he muffles a sob. The darkness is ending; I can feel it. I clear the dark haze out of my throat. "S-Sora?" He looks up. And there are those beautiful, sea-blue eyes. Those eyes that keep me awake at night, that make me cry out in the heat of passion.

And he sobs again, and now he's wrapping his arms around me, and he's sobbing into my shoulder, his warm tears dampening my shirt. And I wrap my arms around him. He speaks, his voice shaky with tears. "R-Riku…I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't save you!" He nestles back into the crook of my neck. "I'll never leave you again…I love you so much…" And my body stiffens, desperately wanting to hold him closer, more possessively, but I know I can't. Because the memories are flooding back, and I know he doesn't know what he does. We tried it once; It's over.

But I hold him, the pain slowly eroding in my heart.

OWARI