Disclaimer: I do not own Earthbound, the characters in this fanfic, nor Nintendo. Or pretty much anything outside the boundaries of my house.
Ninten gazed upon the plains from his vantage point on a tree branch. This was one of his favorite pastimes, just to simply stare out into the distance, lost in thought. If anyone asked, Ninten would say that 'people should really do this more often,' even if they viewed him as odd. Anyway, thinking like this gave more chances for intellectual thought, which in his school was severely lacking in his opinion. Most of the boys were simply interested in muscles, sports, games, and girls. The girls… well he didn't really know since he didn't try to hang out with them outside Ana, and if they're with Ana at the time Paula and Kumatora as well.
Ninten sighed as he leaned back and shut his eyes, possibly hoping for a short nap that would hopefully would not turn into a long nap, but if it did he sincerely hoped that he would not wake up to discover it was eleven the next morning.
Of course, here come some footsteps, someone running. And he had a feeling he knew who they belonged to. He just hoped that the knucklehead wouldn't do anything stupid-
THUNK!
Ninten was thrown off the branch by a sudden jolt by the tree and hit the ground hard. He groaned as he tried to assess the damage. Thankfully, he wasn't very high up, so he got away with possibly bruised buttocks. What he was more worried about was the idiot who ran into the tree in the first place.
Turning his head to the right, he saw none other than Claus (just as he expected), lying on the ground groaning while clutching his head. 'Of course he wasn't looking where he was running… again,' Ninten thought as he walked over to help Claus up.
"Thanks," Claus groaned through the pain.
"Come on, you need to get home so that your parents can help you," Ninten replied as he hoisted Claus on his back to carry him home, incoherently groaning. "Really, you have to be more careful in the future. You're going to kill yourself one of these days, I swear."
Ninten sighed as he finished the last of the dishes he had to wash. At last, he was done with his chores. He was dead tired from the day, so that didn't help a whole lot. Now, as soon as he dried his hands, maybe he could finish reading Japanese Destroyer Captain at last, and what could possibly stop him from-
BANG! BANG! BANG!
'I really need to stop jinxing things,' Ninten groaned in his head as he slumped off to the door, knowing full well that his mother was tied up with laundry and his sisters too young to answer, leaving him.
Reaching out to grab the doorknob, he could only wonder who was on the other side of it.
"Hey! Hey, Ninten!" a certain energetic voice greeted Ninten.
Ninten resisted the urge to groan right then and there. Whenever Claus did that, it wasn't going to end well for Ninten. "Hi Claus, what is it?" Ninten replied, wanting to get straight to the point.
Claus took a deep breath and said, "You. Me. Three stocks. Fox only. No items. Final Destination."
Ninten blinked as he processed what Claus was saying. Then he narrowed his eyes. "Claus, my sisters are on the TV, and the Gamepad is recharging. We can't play Smash right now."
"So? I'm not intending on doing it here! I'm dragging you over to my house to play, along with Ness. It's a three stock, Fox only, no items, final destination only round-robin tourney with four people. And you and me are first!" He noticed Ninten's mom come over to the door and nod with a smile to give her consent.
Ninten sighed, as he evidently didn't notice his mother behind him. "I'm sorry, but I have something else to do," Ninten said. "Is it possible to do this later?"
"NO!" Claus yelled, causing Ninten to stumble back in brief shock. "You're coming with me whether you like it or not!" With that, Claus seized Ninten by the bandanna tied around his neck and started to drag him.
"Ow, ow, ow, OW!" Ninten cried in pain. "Let me go now!"
"Tough luck," Claus sang, "You need to be more social or else your scowl would never be erased from your face!"
"Ninten," Ninten's mother said as she witnessed Ninten on the verge of leveling Claus with a backhand. Ninten sighed in defeat, realizing his mother signed off on this.
"…Very well, I will go," Ninten conceded. "But you will let me go this instant, or else I will really break your nose."
Claus immediately let go, knowing that Ninten was serious about that. He would prefer to have his body in one piece and not soaked with blood, thank you very much.
Even with his jerk tendencies, Claus knew from experience that Ninten had a good heart deep down, since he couldn't count the number of times he helped his friends since they met. He just needed to find a better way to expose it.
Ninten was happily sitting on a chair in the commons area of the high school. Since his mother was gone to see his father, his sisters' (and his) babysitter/caretaker, Eve, decided that she would simply drop all three of them off at their respective schools as she went to the grocery store to buy food. As a result, Ninten was thirty minutes early. Normally he would pass the time by breaking out a book, but he just finished Japanese Destroyer Captain just last night and he hadn't decided on a new book to read.
Instead, he brought along an old, but still in good condition, Game Boy Advance, along with a single game: Advance Wars 2: Black Hole Rising.
In the hard campaign mode, he was Yellow Comet's emperor, Kanbei against a Black Hole CO named Flak. Flak was trying to launch the large number of missile silos in the area against Yellow Comet troops; in fact, he launched the two closest to his forces already. But Yellow Comet's forces had just beat Flak's troops to the critical island that had six silos, as well as to the two minor ones (each with a base and two silos) on each flank, effectively denying Flak the chance to use them. Now Ninten was on the attack, using his silos to help break through Flak's chokepoints as the tanks rolled forward. Victory was within sight.
"Hey Ninten! I didn't know you would be here so early," a familiar voice called.
Ninten tore his eyes away from his game to address the speaker. "Hi Ness," he replied. "How are you today?"
"I'm pretty good myself. My mom dropped me off early today so I could check out the library to help with my research project I'm doing alongside Lucas."
"Ah, that was on the Romans if I'm not mistaken, correct?"
Ness nodded. "In particular, Julius Caesar and the fall of the Republic," he elaborated. "It's actually quite fascinating since Rome is the model for most Western governments today."
"Indeed," Ninten said. "Once you look past the dates and stuff, history is probably one of the most interesting and important topics that people can learn. I just wish that people would have a greater appreciation for it."
"I don't!"
Ninten rolled his eyes. "Of course you don't, Claus," he deadpanned. "You never look beyond the surface when it comes to school."
Claus ignored what Ninten said as he gazed upon the relic in his hand. "Wow, is that a Game Boy?" he asked. "How did you acquire such antiquated tech like that?"
"Um, hello? I've owned this for nearly a decade?" Ninten said.
"No way! It should be in far worse condition, complete with scratches and dents! That's how my DS turned out."
"Gee, I wonder why?" Ninten rhetorically asked as Ness chuckled.
Claus, obviously not getting it, proceeded onward. "Yeah, it's a complete mystery. I haven't the foggiest idea how… what're ya playing anyway?"
"Advance Wars 2," was the reply.
"Advance Wars 2, huh?" Claus mused as a nostalgic look crossed his face, before turning serious. "…Never heard of it."
All Ninten could do was facepalm.
Claus's brow furrowed in concentration, sweat dripping from it by how much energy he was devoting to thinking. He was treating his next move like it would be the most important of his life, a matter of life or death. Ninten watched carefully as he tried to determine Claus's next move. Lucas and Ness were shaking their heads, both thinking that they were taking this a little too far.
Eventually, Claus's eyes lit up, and he moved his rook two spaces up, taking out one of Ninten's few remaining pawns. However, Ninten countered by moving his bishop diagonally to the left one space, eliminating Claus's only remaining knight.
"Checkmate," Ninten smirked. Claus's jaw dropped, but then closed as he scanned the board for any path out. When it became clear that nothing he could do would save him, he sighed and conceded.
"How do you beat me every time we play chess?" Claus half groaned, half questioned.
"Because I have more experience at these types of games than you do," Ninten replied. However, at that point someone barged in.
"Hey guys, mind if I join?" Teddy loudly asked as he strolled up to the group, dropping a bag on the table and shaking up the chess set, knocking several pieces over and causing others to shift.
Claus sized up the new situation that unfolded, and he looked up at Ninten and smirked. "Checkmate."
Ninten glared daggers at Claus. "You already conceded, this doesn't count," he retorted.
"Well how about I take it back?" Claus smirked.
"You can't do that; when you conceded you give up that game for good! The only way you can checkmate me now is if we start over."
"Or are you just trying to deny that you just lost? Oh Ninten, the prodigy in tactics and strategy, defeated at long last by his arch-nemesis," Claus smirked. "Oh, I think I hear your mother calling for you now. You better go before you throw a fit."
Claus regretted his words almost immediately.
Ninten could take the first two parts in stride, but as soon as he lied about his mother, he just went over the line. With a snarl, Ninten tacked Claus off of his chair (knocking the table over in the process) and pinning him to the ground as Claus begged for forgiveness.
Teddy simply stared at the scene unfolding before him, witnessing one of Ninten's few childish outbursts before turning to Ness and Lucas.
"…So can I still hang out with you four?"
"This is stupid."
"Come on, Ninten, lighten up! This is for Lucas after all."
"You mean petty little revenge for tripping him?"
"It's not petty! It's justice!"
"The only reason I agreed to help was to ensure you stay in good health and to watch you inevitably fail."
"I'll show you! Regarding your skepticism… it's no use!"
"Referencing Silver the Hedgehog doesn't make my confidence shoot up."
"HEY! LISTEN!"
"Nor is mimicking Navi," Ninten shook his head as Claus growled.
"I'll show you. Watch as I execute the most badass revenge plot you have ever seen!"
With that, Claus hurled the bucket of water onto the Minches' front doorstep. With a clang, the bucket made contact with the porch and water spewed out from the bucket, soaking the poor front porch caught up in a revenge plot. For the next few seconds, the only sound they could hear were crickets chirping. Finally, Ninten turned to Claus.
"Congratulations, Pokey is totally ruing the day he messed with your twin."
"…Shut up."
"Just go home. It's no use trying to get revenge for this."
"You bloody hypocrite!" Claus shouted. "You just referenced Silver the Hedgehog when you criticized me doing it!"
"That's because I wasn't about to do some hare-brained scheme that would only result in catastrophe," Ninten monotonously replied.
"Hey, you little punks!" someone who Ninten presumed was Pokey's father shouted. "It's time to pay the price for trespassing!"
"Yeah, I'm not sticking around. Let's go," Ninten quickly said, right hand latching onto Claus's arm and pulling him away as he gave a startled cry. Just as soon as they got outside and hid behind one of the pillars surrounding the mansion, the door flew open. Ninten poked his head around to witness Aloysius Minch storm outside the door with a shovel, fury in his eyes.
"Where are you little punks?" he roared. "Come back here so I can bash you with this shovel for-"
He didn't finish because he (anticlimactically) slipped on the water Claus dumped and fell ungracefully with a cry. Hitting his own porch hard, he lay there for several seconds, with only his chest moving up and down.
Ninten turned to Claus. "…Well, you got partial vengeance for how he treats Ness's family," Ninten pointed out. "You happy now?"
"…I wanted Pokey to slip," Claus pouted.
"Hey! Hey, Ninten!"
Ninten mentally groaned in his head when he heard the energetic and optimistic voice crying his name out. Resigning himself to his fate, he simply looked over his shoulder and said, "Hi Claus… oh, hi Paula," the former as non-sarcastically as he could make it, and the later in a surprised tone.
"Hey, so you know since it's the beginning of the year, the spring dance around the corner? Yeah, so I was wondering if you could come? I know you need a date to do the dance and stuff, so for the past several months, I have found out as much about your love life as I possibly could-"
"In other words, stalking me."
"Th-That's not what I did N-Ninten!" Claus stuttered out, cheeks reddening from embarrassment. "Anyway, so using whatever resources I had at my disposal-"
"Which were your own two eyes and whatever espionage abilities you acquired?
"Shh! I'm getting to the point!" Claus glared, before his triumphant grin redecorated his face (though his cheeks were still red). "So I figured out who you like, but are too scared to ask out. So I brought her with me so that you can ask her out!"
Ninten's expression simply changed from his usual stoic disposition to a deadpan. "Claus, Paula is already going to the dance with Ness."
"Denial will do you no good," Claus declared. "Face it; you're in love with Paula! You're in love with Paula!"
At this point, Ninten's deadpan turned into a scowl, and Paula simply shook her head, smirking slightly in amusement. "Can I say no to the date, please?" Paula asked.
"You're in love with Pa-" the singing teen suddenly froze in spot with his eyes on the verge of falling out as Paula's words registered in his mind. "Wha, y-you can't do that! You'll break Ninten's heart! Why, think of his cold heart that is incapable of even showing affection! Why, don't you think a bit of love would warm it right up?"
Ninten's response was to smack him upside the head. "I am perfectly capable of showing affection," Ninten snorted indignantly. "I just show it differently."
"Right, and that's keeping you from smacking me whenever you want," Claus retorted. "Talk about someone who's heart needs to warm up, and love is the only thing that can do that."
"Claus, I think someone is about to steal your omelets."
"WHAT?!" Claus shrieked, grabbing Ninten's shoulders and shaking him wildly. "This is a catastrophe! Madness! We must save the omelets! CHAAAAARGE!"
And not accompanied by the classic 'charge' music, Claus let out a fierce battle cry as he raced back to wherever he left his lunch. Ninten breathed a sigh of relief now that that episode was over, and turned to Paula.
"Sorry about him, he's… like that."
"No, that's fine," Paula replied. "He may be a bit… hyperactive, but he's a good person and highly devoted to his friends. He just wanted to see you happy."
Ninten nodded. "Maybe that's why I put up with him so much despite all of the random shenanigans he manages to get himself into."
Hello users of fanfiction, I am PSIBoy, and this is my first successful attempt at writing fanfiction. I would appreciate any reviews constructively criticizing my piece of work, as long as they are polite and reasoned, preferably toward how I portray my characters.
The basics for my versions of Ninten and Claus's personalities are laid here, but in my other stories they won't be so… extreme. Like Ninten won't be as much of a jackass while Claus won't be as immature. The reason Claus is more energetic and goofy in my AUs is because Hinawa doesn't die. Whenever Hinawa dies, expect Claus and Lucas to be different.
Also, Japanese Destroyer Captain is a real book. I have a copy in my room right now. I'm trying not to advertise it, but a brief description of the book would be: it is the memoirs of a Japanese Naval Officer during World War II. It is my favorite book of all time at this point.
Anyway, closing out this long author's note, I hope you enjoyed this fic and if you did, more will be coming within the next month (if I can stay motivated, though likely not as humorous). See ya later.
