The hallway was fairly crowded and Karen Cartwright was reminded of her first audition for Bombshell, except the circumstances were slightly different. She was only auditioning because her best friend, Ana Vargas, had recommended her after gaining one of the supporting roles. The musical – which took its music from songs from the 1960s onwards – was entitled Bittersweet Symphony and based itself around the love story between a 20-something American senator's daughter with Broadway dreams and a British prince. Ana had gotten the part of Elizabeth, the female lead's younger sister and had recommended Karen for the lead, Victoria. The role was fast becoming one of the most coveted on the Great White Way and Karen counted her lucky stars that she was even being considered even if she had her doubts.
Karen had been away from the Broadway stage since the second opening night of The Great Gatsby - which had been written by Julia Houston and produced by Eileen Rand – after her husband, Derek, had been shot and soon after, Karen discovered that she was in fact pregnant. Now that her daughter, Clara Jane Wills, had been born – nine months ago, almost to the day – Karen's main worry was that Clara would resent her for being a career mother. She looked down at the picture of her baby girl which she currently kept as her iPhone's lock screen. The formerly toothless grin had started to fill out with pearly white teeth and her hair had since gotten darker from when the photograph was taken but it was still one of Karen's favourites. While a comfort to her, the photo still brought Karen's doubts to the forefront of her mind. She could almost exactly predict what Derek would tell her, that he'd love and support her no matter what she did, but Karen couldn't help but think of what her daughter would think, years down the line when she understood everything that her parents' careers entailed.
"Karen Cartwright?" somebody called and Karen pushed herself up out of her seat and stepped forward, following the production assistant into the audition room. She handed her still very light résumé to one of the creative team and her small pile of sheet music to the pianist. She'd been asked to sing two numbers and as the pianist began to play the first few notes of her first song, Karen couldn't help but smile
The full moon It's like Amen from the back of the choir Baby, you sound good to me Tell me It's like Amen from the back of the choir Baby, you sound good to me Baby, you sound good to me Like an Amen from the back of the choir Baby, you sound good to me Baby, you sound good to me (sound so good)
Is shining like a spotlight
I could just sit and listen to you talkin' all night
When you whisper
Yeah, baby, when you lean in
I get a crazy, crazy good kind of feelin'
Sweet home of freedom underneath the tires
Kicked back sittin' by a cracklin' fire
Strumming them guitar strings
And like an old song on the radio
That you grew up to and everybody knows
Rushin' of the water when the river rolls
Winding wild and free
Baby, you sound so good to me
Mm-m-mm like a melody
Baby, you sound good to me
All of your stories
And don't you leave nothin' out 'cause baby, I ain't in a hurry
Every little thing you say
Got a real nice ring to it
The way it rolls off your lips
And oh, when you give me that kiss
Sweet home of freedom underneath the tires
Kicked back sittin' by a cracklin' fire
Strumming them guitar strings
Like an old song on the radio
That you grew up to and everybody knows
Rushin' of the water when the river rolls
Winding wild and free
Baby, you sound so good to me
Mm-m-mm like a melody
Baby, you sound good to me
Baby, you sound so good to me
Mm-m-mm like a melody
Baby, mm-mm
Sweet home of freedom underneath the tires
Kicked back sittin' by a cracklin' fire
Strumming them guitar strings
Like an old song on the radio
That you grew up to and everybody knows
Rushin' of the water when the river rolls
Winding wild and free
Baby, you sound so good to me
Mm-m-mm like a melody
Baby, you sound good (sound so good)
Baby, you sound so good to me (sound so good)
Mm-m-mm like a melody
Baby, you sound good to me.
Where her first song was happy, her second was tragic. It played as a reminder of her past failures in relationships, with Jimmy Collins and Dev Sundaram and she reminded herself that even though they had been the ones to screw up, she had been the one to break their hearts and the happiness she felt with Derek made her feel guilty.
It's easy to fall in love We both know it's coming You and I We seemed like a good idea No blood will spill if we both get out now We both know it's coming You and I Peace will come when one of us puts down the gun We seemed like a good idea
But it's so hard to break somebody's heart
What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield
Once lust has turned to dust and all that's left's held breath
Forgotten who we first met
What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield
Does illusion count for something we hide?
The surface tension's gotta break, one drop is all it takes to flood out this lie
We have to let each other go
We keep holding on but we both know
What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield
Peace will come when one of us puts down the gun
Be strong for both of us
No please, don't run, don't run
Eye to eye, we face our fears unarmed on the battlefield
We seemed like a good idea
Still it's hard to put the fire out
What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield
Feelings are shifting like the tide
And I think too much about the future
What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield
Does illusion count for something we hide?
The surface tension's gotta break, one drop is all it takes to flood out this lie
We have to let each other go
We keep holding on but we both know
What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield
Be strong for both of us
No please, don't run, don't run
Eye to eye, we face our fears unarmed on the battlefield
We seemed like a good idea
We seemed like a good idea
On the verge of tears, because of how emotionally vulnerable the song forced her to be whilst performing it, Karen looked to the director for some sort of hint that she'd done well – every director had one (Derek smirked, Tom genuinely smiled) – but this director just stared blankly at her. He was younger than her – probably a recent graduate of NYU or Carnegie Mellon – with jet black hair which spiked up at the ends which, combined with his green eyes and glasses, made him look like Harry Potter "Miss… Cartwright is it?" he finally spoke, with one of those Texan accents comedians made fun of all the time, and Karen nodded slightly in response not wanting to seem too eager "It says you've been out of the game for over a year and a half, why might that be?"
"I took some time off to care for my daughter," she admitted, silently wanting to add the words 'and my husband was shot'.
"So why come back now? I mean you could have taken more time off and looked after your daughter instead," he suggested in a tone that was almost patronising.
Karen breathed in and sighed, waving away any temptation to slap the man, before responding "I'm sorry, how long have you been working on Broadway? Is it five minutes or ten? Yes I took time off to care for my daughter. No I don't want for her to be raised by nannies her entire life, unlike most people in this town. And if you'd done your research you'd find that my fiancé was shot by a woman who had been stalking me for six months so excuse me for wanting to take a break from this place,"
"I… I," he stuttered.
"Yeah, that's what I thought," Karen said grabbing her sheet music off the pianist "And you might want to wipe that confused look off your face before the next actress comes through, we don't screw the ones who look like a deer in headlights, although I didn't screw until after I got the role," she shouted followed up by a slight cackle and with that Karen left the room, rushed down the hallway and onto the streets of New York.
After taking a breath, Karen instinctively phoned her husband "Hey, how did it go?" he asked, his voice the epitome of calm and collected.
"Terrible, the director's an ass," she said with a sigh "Clearly, he's just out of college and he acts as though he knows everything," she told him, purposefully neglecting to tell Derek that she'd just been judged for taking time off "How's Clara?" she asked, changing the subject to something happier.
"Sleeping, for now," he told her.
Karen smiled a small smile at that "Maybe I shouldn't go back to work so early," she said suddenly. She knew that she wanted to spend more time with Clara and she definitely didn't want for Clara to resent her as much as she did her biological mother.
"Okay," Derek said simply.
"I just don't want Clara to end up – wait! Did you just say okay?"
"Karen Natalie Cartwright, I would love you even if you were a plumber. You don't have to go back to work if you don't want to, it's your decision," Derek told her softly.
"I feel like there's something you want to add to this,"
"Nope,"
"Okay, I'll see you soon," she said with a smile as she hailed a taxi.
A/N – Karen's first song is You Sound Good To Me by Lucy Hale and the second is Battlefield by Lea Michele if you haven't heard either I recommend that you do because they are both very amazing songs.
