Author's Note:

This is my first attempt at OHSHC fiction, apologies in advance for OOC-ness, I'm still getting to know these characters!

This will be a drabble/oneshot series, I guess. I just think Haruhi must be face-palming her head off being surrounded by these Host Club guys, and I'm putting her in situations that portray that. Some of the stories are based on the ones from the anime/manga and some are made up.

Prompts are welcome.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the idea.

And as always, reviews are appreciated!


Damn Rich Bastards

1. Home Invasion

What to make for dinner...

Clutching four grocery bags tightly, Haruhi walked idly down the road that led to her apartment. The supermarket nearby was having a sale on all food items: "Super Sale: Everything must go! Reduced price! Consider it theft!" She had bought enough to last the whole week.

Her father would be arriving home early today and he was always hungry after a shift at the okama bar he worked at. Maybe some dumplings? There was rice and noodles as well, and vegetables or meat, or both?

As she neared the end of the road, Haruhi saw a large crowd of people swarming around one building.

What is going on?

Adjusting her grip on the bags, Haruhi craned her neck to get a better look. There was Ayako-san who lived a few apartments away from hers, talking to his wife is loud whispers. Yumi-san, the landlady of her building, was also there, talking loudly to her downstairs tenant Megumi-san. The nosy, elderly woman was always found in the vicinity whenever something vaguely interesting happened.

Snippets of conversations reached her ears as she made her way to her building, the very building people were crowded around.

"Did you see the cars?"

"Do you think they're from the Yakuza?"

"The don't look like it, they look like movie stars!"

"Okaa-san, who are they? What are they doing here?"

What were they doing here, indeed. The very presence of these people was disrupting her plans for the day. Her nice, quiet Sunday afternoon was slowly disappearing. Haruhi absently wondered who in her building even knew people that were mistaken for movie stars or the mafia and had fancy cars and all the time to waste.

She pushed through the crowd, awkwardly reaching for her keys while keeping a hold on her groceries. "Sumimasen Ayako-san, I need to get past. Ariga-"

The words dried in her throat and the bags almost slipped out of her hands when she finally saw what was causing the commotion.

No.

Two black, luxury cars stood by the curb in front of the entrance of her apartment complex with black suited drivers in dark sunglasses standing to attention by the passenger doors. The sunlight gleamed against the polished bonnets and silver logos of each car. Standing on the other side, peering up at the building were six boys, dressed casually but still stylish enough to create a ruckus. One blonde boy was in the process of lecturing the others and being ignored.

Why me?

Haruhi began to back away. Maybe she could escape and if they didn't see her, if they thought she wasn't at home, they would leave. The path she had created to get to the front had vanished and all she could do was bump into Ayako-san again and stare at the Host Club with resigned horror.

She was the one who knew people that were mistaken for movie stars or the mafia and had fancy cars and all the time to waste.

Haruhi quickly turned and began to burrow desperately through her neighbours but a loud, annoying voice stopped her.

"Haruhi!"

"Tamaki-senpai. What are you do-"

"Daddy has come to see his daughter's home! We wanted to surprise you, are you surprised?"

"Yes. I definitely am," said Haruhi dully.

Tamaki continued as if he hadn't heard her. "Your home pretty big isn't it? You must be pretty rich for a commoner. And look at all these people, do you know them?"

Her landlady sidled up to her and whispered loudly: "Haruhi, is he bothering you?"

Yes, yes he is. "No, Yumi-san, everything is fine. They're... friends. From school."

Looking beyond him, she saw the rest of the Host Club. Hikaru and Kaoru were grinning mischievously at her, Kyoya was looking up at her building with a contemplative expression, and a smiling Honey was talking quietly to a stoic Mori whilst sitting on his shoulders.

She looked back at Tamaki, who was still talking.

"See Haruhi, we even came in the smallest cars we have, so as to better blend in with the commoners. That was my idea, are you proud of daddy? Oh, are you going to make dinner for us?"

Haruhi somehow resisted both the urge to bury her face in her hands and groan loudly and the urge to thump the blonde on the head.

Damn rich bastards.