You were in the training area, slashing furiously at a dummy that looked like it had been attacked by a hellhound. However, you were not as angry as you seemed. Just a tad annoyed because of a nightmare you had had the night before.
Ugh, nightmares. No demigod likes them.
At one point, you stood back, breathing heavily from the ferocity and force you had been swinging your knife with. You were sweaty and tired from the effort. The dummy was practically destroyed, you noted with a hint of pride. Satisfied with your work for the day, you threw the dummy into a pile of about four others, also completely demolished.
A chuckle sounded from behind you, and you whipped around, glaring at what appeared to be Chiron. "What?" you hissed rudely, scowling at his amused expression.
He raised his eyebrows. "I do believe the training dummies are meant for training and not murdering," he drawled humorously.
You huffed, sheathing your knife. "Well, I had some problems that needed to be solved."
At that, Chiron's amused face shifted into one of concern and sadness, but no pity. That's what you liked about him; He didn't act like you were some wounded animal that needed to be consoled. "Is it the nightmares?" he asked quietly, so no one would hear.
Your glare turned to the ground, hands curling into fists. "Yes," you muttered, gritting your teeth. "But that's nothing new." Your tone was bitter and sarcastic, and although you knew Chiron didn't deserve it, you couldn't help but feel angry.
He sighed. "My dear, I've said repeatedly that I could try to brew a potion for you, to help calm them down. Or get a child of Hypnos to help. I don't suppose you'd like to take me up on that offer?"
"No," you stated stubbornly, crossing your arms across your chest. "You said it yourself; it could take months since there isn't a potion invented yet. And the Hypnos kids are always sleeping. It wouldn't matter, anyway. Besides, they aren't even that bad. I can deal."
You both knew those last two lines were complete lies. They were bad. Worse than any other demigod's. You both remembered the time you had been in the infirmary, caught in a horrible nightmare. You had woken up with bloody nail marks all the way down your legs, Chiron gazing down at you with worry. According to him, you had been crying out and scratching furiously at your legs, so hard that it drew blood.
You had been forced to tell him about your ongoing nightmares. How you never had a peaceful night, how your sleep was plagued with nightmares, how you always woke up feeling worse than when you went to bed.
Just one of the side effects that came with being daughter of Phobetor, god of nightmares.
On the plus side, you could give people you despised nightmares, shadow travel (that power wasn't just for the Hades kid!) and make nightmares go away. Except your own, apparently. You'd tried before, but you were always so terrified in the nightmare, that you couldn't concentrate on anything besides it. You and Chiron had been having lessons once a week to try and harness that power, but so far, it appeared futile.
Chiron sighed again, much sadder this time. "If you say so, child. However, do know that you can talk to me about anything." Anything being, nightmares.
You kept your hard gaze on the ground, not daring to look up at him and see the kind, sad look on his face. It might just make you burst into tears. "If you say so, Chiron."
He stayed there standing in front of you for a few moments, then turned around and left. You stood quietly, no distinguishable emotion on your face, then walked out as well.
The second you were in your cabin, a lone tear slipped down your face, your cold mask crumbling faster than you could manage. Knees shaking, you slid to the ground, back pressed against the wall, as you buried your face in your knees and took deep, trembling breaths.
Why? you wondered bitterly, Does Chiron care so must?
Doesn't he see how much it breaks me inside?
(~)
You didn't sleep for the next 3 nights. You hadn't wanted to. The fear of the nightmares was so big, and growing bigger, that you had just laid awake all night, terrified to even blink. Every shadow, movement and sound made you scramble panicked for your knife, to the point where you just kept it clasped under the covers for safety.
Throughout the days, you didn't speak to anyone, growing more and more moody and tired as the days without sleep went on. You snapped at anyone and everyone, making them cower in fear, but it was only a mask to assure they didn't see your fear.
By the fourth day, however, you were downright exhausted. Your legs had given out several times already during the day. You couldn't think straight and were seeing doubles, vision blurry. Many Apollo kids had approached you, concerned about why you were trembling, your face was whiter than di Angelo's, and you had dark bags under your eyes.
You had waved each of them off by saying one simple word that would surely make them go away; "Nightmares." They each made the 'oh' face (since every demigod understood nightmares) and backed off, leaving you in peace. Which probably wasn't such a good idea, because then you were left alone with your thoughts, nothing to occupy your brain into keeping awake.
Then, the nighttime came. Once again, you told yourself you weren't going to sleep, breathing out deeply through your nose, and setting your head down gingerly on your pillow.
You were out like a light.
Sadly, the nightmares weren't. They attacked, and they attacked bad. It was your worst nightmare ever.
(A/N this may be a bit gruesome. Especially the second paragraph. Feel free to skip. I know that reading this would make me dream about it.)
At first, the dreams were the usual ones. Hundreds of tiny spiders that crawled up your legs all over your body, their spindly legs tapping all over your skin until you were engulfed by the sheer amount of them. Soon, there were so many with no place to go, that they forced themselves up your nose and into your mouth, crawling down your windpipe and swarming your lungs.
You fell to your knees, gasping for breath and suffocating since there was no room left in your lungs. Still, there were more that came. They pierced your eyes, scratching and slicing them until they were able to enter your skull. You screamed and wailed in agony, clawing at your eyes in an almost manic way. But it was to no avail.
The spiders reached your brain, and you clutched your head, screaming in a way that no human should. You sounded like a wild, savage animal from the way those shrieks left your throat.
When the spiders finished eating your brain, everything flashed white and you found yourself in a glass container, set in a dark, spacious room. All around you, there were men in lab coats, some writing things in note pads, some just talking to each other, paying no attention to you standing in the middle of the room.
You watched them wearily, too exhausted from the previous experience to try and break out. Besides, they weren't doing anything, so at least you had time to breath.
However, the relief didn't last long. All of a sudden, one of the men nodded his head firmly, and every single scientist turned their head to look at you.
You gasped in shock and tried to back away, but your back hit the glass wall. And they were everywhere. You couldn't escape their piercing gazes, nor could you avoid the fact that they all had the same face.
With an untold command, water started to magically fill up in your container. You watched it rise, mind not functioning properly, and only when it reached waist-length did your senses kick in and you realised what they wanted to do to you.
They're going to drown me.
You screamed and shrieked, pounding on the glass walls for them to get you out of there. But not one man helped you. They just stood and watched you with those emotionless stares, as the water raised to a frightening shoulder height. Your voice grew panicky and slightly hysterical.
"Let me out! Let me out!" you shrieked, starting to hyperventilate when the water reached chin level. "Help me!"
You couldn't shout any longer. You needed to get air before going under. So, when the water nearly filled the whole container, you took one huge breath, and went under.
Eyes wide, you stared fearfully at how the men started to come closer, as though curious of how you would drown. You could do nothing except watch as they got closer and closer, until they were pressed up against all sides of the container, not allowing you to see anything besides them.
You couldn't help it; the fear was just too strong.
You screamed.
The icy water came rushing into your lungs, and you tried to gasp for air, but only succeeded at breathing in more water. You choked and clawed at the walls, desperate that one of them would break the glass and let you escape. Nobody so much as flinched.
When your sight filled with black dots growing larger, you knew that a new nightmare would be coming. But you didn't have the will to fight it.
All night, you faced monsters. Demons of the mind. And all night, you lay weak and trembling before them, letting them do whatever they wanted. It was useless to resist. You would never win.
But nothing could have prepared you for the final nightmare.
You dreamed that you were in a dark, cold, evil place. You knew immediately, with sickening awareness, that this was Tartarus. You were shaking so hard you could barely see straight, but you definitely felt the terror of being in such a place, wide-eyed in fear, yet staring only into the distance. The air was choking you and glass shards on the ground cut into your (now bare) feet. You squeezed your eyes tight together and clamped your hands over your ears, but nothing blocked out the horrid voice that echoed in your head.
Well, well, well, it hissed gleefully. What do we have here?
"G-go away," you whimpered, curling up into a ball.
Now now, that's not the way to treat your great-grandfather, is it?
Your shaking increased tenfold as you let out a small sob. You wanted to get out, you wanted to get out, you wanted to get-
All of a sudden, you felt a presence next to you that radiated extreme power, more powerful than the Gods'. You flinched and tried to scuttle away, but the commanding voice froze you in place in fear.
Open your eyes child. The sarcastic, amused tone was gone, replaced by a deathly evil voice. Look at me.
Against your will, your head slowly turned toward the sound and your eyes forced themselves open.
You were staring straight into the monstrous face of Tartarus himself. If a swirling whirlpool and inward spiral of darkness even counted as a face.
You screamed and tried to jump away, but your legs wouldn't move. No part of you could. You were paralyzed in fear, not being able to do anything as he got closer and closer, cackling manically, until his outstretched hands grazed your shirt and everything went dark.
(~)
(A/N the nightmares are over, don't you worry child... please keep reading)
You woke up screaming, tears streaming down your face, sheets thrown on the floor and clothes drenched with sweat. Your eyes darted all around the room, searching for the evil Primordial, and even though you tried to convince yourself that the nightmares were over, your mind wasn't believing it.
Every shadow jumped out at you, looking like Tartarus. You grabbed your knife and held it in front of you weakly, but your arm was shaking so hard that it dropped harmlessly out of your hand onto the bed. You were too terrified to pick it back up.
Soon, you found you were gasping for breath, tears stinging in your eyes as you struggled to get oxygen in your lungs. You choked on the same air that you tried to breath in, but you kept on going, your heart working into over-drive to accommodate for the absolute, pure terror that found itself in your mind.
Staggering to your feet, you raised yourself on wobbly legs and headed for the door. You needed to get out of here, out of this constricting cabin, to breath fresh air, you needed-
I need Chiron, you thought with a strangled gasp.
Not bothering with shoes or to put on something other than your pajamas, you stumbled across the camp toward the Big House, where he would surely be. And hopefully not Mr. D.
The harpies paid you no mind as you passed right by them, since you had been given special permission to walk around at night, ever since Chiron found out about your nightmares.
You nearly wept with joy at seeing the door to the Big House, rapping on it weakly yet loudly with one loose fist. Only a few seconds later did the centaur open the door, appearing very tired and slightly annoyed. "What is it, child-" he started, but cut himself short when he saw you. His eyes widened, and all sleepiness was replaced with extreme worry. "Come inside, (Y/N)."
You stumbled into his office, collapsing on a chair and immediately curling into a tight ball, forcing yourself to take deep breaths. In and out, (Y/N), that's it, in and out.
Soon, you felt a soft hand on your shoulder as Chiron gently knelt in front of you. He didn't say anything, instead allowing you a moment to catch some much-needed breath, which you could proudly say you were able to breath now that you were in such a warm, homey place.
Your trembling didn't die down though, as you relaxed slightly into the chair, finally finding the courage to actually raise you head and look Chiron in the eyes. He was looking at you with such a kind and worried look, that you just wanted to hug him and tell him all your problems. Fortunately, you refrained from doing so.
"I'm sorry," you managed to choke out. "For barging in."
He shook his head dismissively. "That doesn't matter. What matters is you right now." He paused, probably thinking of something to say other than 'Are you okay', because you obviously weren't. He ended up going with a simple, yet warm, love-filled statement. "You don't need to avoid the topic, (Y/N). You know I care about you. You can talk. I will listen."
That was all in took for you to start stammering out everything that's happened the past couple days. You talked about not sleeping for 3 nights, being too afraid to do so. How you've never once in your life had a peaceful sleep. Even when unconscious. How for once you wanted to just feel rested, not tired, not ready to drop at any given notice. How this night, you had the worst nightmare ever.
You rushed quickly through the spiders, the thought of that nightmare making you shudder and nearly sending you into a flashback. But when you stopped talking and your eyes glazed over, Chiron was there to pull you back into reality with a hand on your shoulder and softly-spoken words.
You didn't spend much time on the drowning either, but you couldn't help releasing a few details. "I could feel the water rushing into my lungs, Chiron," you whimpered. "It was all so real, I couldn't tell whether or not I was dreaming."
The hand on your shoulder tensed angrily for a second, before relaxing once more. "It is over with now, (Y/N), you need not worry about it anymore. You are no longer dreaming. You are here, talking with me," Chiron consoled you gently.
You nodded and swallowed, stomach growing sicker at how you would have to talk about the final nightmare. The worst one. "The final nightmare, the one th-that woke me up, i-i-it was- I just- I couldn't-" You weren't able to finish the sentence, voice getting shakier with with each word, until your head dropped against your chest and your shoulders shook with silent sobs.
In no time, you were pulled into a hug by Chiron, feeling a hand rubbing soothing circles on your back and the other holding you tight. You reacted by reaching around and hugging him back, desperate to touch something, anything that would ground you to reality. Chiron was real. And nice.
You forced yourself to choke out your last words while in this position, knowing that if you didn't do it now you would never do it. "I-I dreamt about-about Tartarus. I was in there. H-He was there, t-too." You whimpered and squeezed your arms tighter, him doing the same. It was reassuring. "I-I was so scared, I couldn't breath, it was the worst I've ever had, and it was just so scary-"
You cut off at the end once more, not being able to continue. Your figure was trembling worse than before. But you would not cry again. You refused to allow yourself to cry. You would not cry-
"Shhh, child," Chiron murmured. "There's no weakness in crying. It's a sign you've been strong for too long."
You burst into loud sobs, body wracking with the force of them, each one with a painful, terrifying story of it's own. You let go of all your pent-up emotions and thoughts, feeling them fly away finally after telling someone. Telling someone you trusted.
"I- I don't want to be scared anymore," you cried, feeling like a little child, but strangely not caring.
"And you will no longer have to be. It will get better, (Y/N). I will help you," Chiron said.
That brought about a fresh round of tears, but now, they were more from relief than anything. You had finally found someone who cared for you, enough to want to share your burdens, and truly want to help you. After all these years of suffering and sitting silently in fear, finally, you found them.
It took a while for you to calm down enough to breath without shaking. But you and Chiron didn't let go of each other. You didn't want to let go. You felt safer than you ever had, safer than even with your own father. You stayed with your arms around Chiron's neck, face buried into his shoulder.
By now, you were sleepy. You knew you were going to pass out from exhaustion, but for the first time, you weren't afraid to fall asleep. You knew Chiron would be there to help you. And from that tiredness, three single words slipped out of your mouth.
"I love you," you whispered, already half-asleep. The conscious part of your mind started to panic- what if he didn't understand how you saw him as your father? What if he rejected you? What if-
But Chiron didn't freeze. He calmly continued to run his fingers through your hair, a comforting gesture you appreciated. "And I, you, (Y/N)," he said.
You both stayed in that position, Chiron not moving once as to not wake you. And you, you had the best sleep you've ever had. For the first time, you didn't dream a single thing.
