Heavenly music played within the background of golden iconography art-deco surroundings of the Terran Emperors Throne room as a male stripper and yellow armored teddy bear opened a newly arrived batch of letters to their great and noble leader. This was a fairly new tradition started by Lord Commander Kitten to inform their Emperor, Creator, and Liege of the events within the universe and his realm. However, everyone had to admit that the actual task of opening and reading such letters often ended badly.

Nevertheless, with great gusto, the male stripper used his strong and firm hands rippling with raw power to crease the letter before beginning his speech, "My lord Emperor, it would appear as though we have received an unexpected letter from… Oh… well this is highly unusually."

"LET ME GUESS. IT'S ANOTHER LETTER REJECTION LETTER FROM PENTHOUSE WEEKLY REGARDING YOUR OFFERS FOR A PHOTOSHOOT ON THEIR MAGAZINE COVERS," jibed the emperor with great and bitter mockery towards his lowly servant.

For a brief instant, the male stripper seamed emotionally hurt as the heavily armored teddy bear attempted to broker an unsuccessful attempt at deadpan humor, "Father," he asked, "What is Penthouse? Is it some sort of prison shaped as a pen, or house?"

"RIGHT. FORGOT. THESE ARE THE VIRGIN TIMES FOR MY CHILDREN. I CAN EXPECT NO HEIRS," griped the skeletal lord of mankind sitting upon the golden throne which anchored his soul to the material realm, "THEN AGAIN. THE VERY IDEA OF YOU, ROGAL, HAVING INTIMACY WITH ANYTHING SHORT OF YOUR PAIN GLOVE FRANKLY LEAVES ME WITH AN IMPRESSION SO VILE AS TO MAKE MY LOYAL CUSTODIAN STANDING NEARBY IN HIS LEATHER BIKINI SEEM TOLERABLE."

"That hurt father. That was hurtful." Replied the armored teddy bear dully.

"Actually, my emperor," interjected the now emotionally recovered male stripper, "This is a note from a Necron Lord called… ahem… Trayzn the Infinite. It reads…"

'To whom it may concern, I am writing in deepest hindsight regrets to one Emperor of Terra for the unfortunate events which befell one of your worlds. I apologize for 'accidently' destroying this world and have included in this letter a financial token of reparations for my actions.'

"WELL…" stated the Emperor in surprise, "THAT IS UNEXPECTED. HOW MUCH DID HE SEND US?"

The male stripper shook the envelop and grasped the small amount of coins thumping harmlessly into his palm, "Let's see," he uttered while quickly counting them in a hushed mumble, "$1.79" in change. Literally less than the postage used to send the letter."

"RIGHT. NECRON'S ARE OLD. LIKE REALLY FUCKING OLD. HE PROBABLY DOESN'T UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF INFLATION."

"Father, by Necron standards, wouldn't you also classify as elderly?" asked the armored teddy bear in bland mockery.

"BY NECRON STANDARDS I WOULD PROBABLY CLASSIFY SOMEWHERE ROUGHLY IN MY MID TWENTIES. PS... DESPITE MY LOVE OF THE COLOR GOLD I INSIST THAT I AM NOT A HIPSTER. THAT FELT NECESSARY TO SAY."

Now getting back on track from the mad ramblings of his father being somewhat senile, Rogan Dorn interjected, "I wonder what world he was talking about?" It was then that another male stripper ran into the room yelling frantically, "My lord, My lord, we just learned that Cadia has been destroyed! Some Necron lunatic detonated the ancient pylon which dispels warp energy causing the entire planet to crack in half! What ever should we do!"

Everyone went quiet as the first male stripper continued to hold the spare change in his hand. It was the corpse emperor sitting upon his throne who spoke first, "WELL…. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...