Okay, so I'm a bit nervous about actually publishing this. I've never written a fanfiction before, though I am a long time reader. I've never really written fiction, either; I pretty much only write lab reports and literary analyses. So please, if you notice something grammatically incorrect, or just have something that could improve future chapters, let me know. Constructive criticism is always welcome! This is set a few months after the Swarkles divorce in the finale. It's my attempt to correct the horrifying faults of Craig Thomas and Carter Bays. This isn't a oneshot, there will be multiple chapters, but I don't know when I'll get around to writing them seeing as I am a college student and also work part time. The title is from Sara Bareilles' song, which was my inspiration for the story.
Hope y'all enjoy!
Click
The turn of the key in the lock of the storage locker door sounded throughout the empty hallway, the only other break in the silence being the buzz of the fluorescent lighting overhead. Robin inhaled, a rush of familiarity hitting her as she slid the metal door above her head. The dull ache that had throbbed deep in her chest for the past several months intensified and a lump rose in her throat, causing tears to prick the inside corners of her eyes.
The past several months since the divorce had been the most emotionally exhausting of Robin's life. Everything had been going fine, or so she thought, until Barney approached her with a complaint: he was proud of her hard work and many accomplishments, achieving her lifelong dream of becoming a foreign correspondent at World Wide News, however he was tired of always being placed second to her career. They argued constantly for weeks, Barney accusing her of not putting enough effort into their relationship and questioning her love for him while Robin stood her ground on her job, reminding him that he had been the one to encourage her to apply for the foreign correspondent position, knowing full well what the job entailed. Somewhere along the line, the subject of separation was brought up. Robin thought that compromising on her job in any way would mean relinquishing her inherently independent nature, so she suggested a divorce, not knowing that she would be making the biggest mistake of her life.
Everything started to fall apart about four days after signing the final divorce papers. Robin was on yet another assignment, this time in Mexico. She had decided to take herself out for the night to a local bar, where one of her cameramen had recommended she visit to try their infamous "El Luchador". She had ordered it, not knowing what to expect, and failed to fight back giggles as the bartender concocted the largest margarita she had ever seen, garnished with a miniature bottle of tequila stuck upside down in the frozen green drink. She quickly pulled out her phone, snapping a picture to send to Barney, but before she could hit "send" an overwhelming sadness washed over her. They were divorced. He wouldn't chuckle at the picture, then attempt to bribe her into bringing a couple home. New York City was no longer her home. He was no longer her home.
Half an hour later, the margarita was gone and the bartender was attempting to shove Robin into a cab.
After that, she threw herself into her work. She would arrive at work an hour early and immerse herself in paperwork. It would be well past 2 AM when she would stumble into her hotel room, having stopped by whatever local bar she could find immediately after her boss would force her out of the office. She would fall into bed and cry herself into a fitful sleep, craving the sensation of Barney's arms wrapped around her, his sleepy kisses starting on her forehead and trailing down the bridge of her nose, eventually finding their way to her lips.
Now she was here. Her boss had forced her to take a vacation after working nearly non-stop for two and a half months. She had been back in New York for two days. She hadn't even attempted to contact Lily or the rest of the gang, and as much as she wanted to, she hadn't visited Barney. She felt that the two of them seeing each other would only make her sad and him angry, two emotions that she didn't think she could tolerate in her current state. Somehow, she had ended up here, at 622 West 14th street. She surveyed the interior of the locker, which consisted mostly of cardboard boxes and plastic storage containers stacked on top of each other. Three hours later, she was sitting on the floor in the middle of them. She had a slate blue cashmere blanket wrapped around her shoulders, a wedding gift from some distant relative. She was flipping through a stack of photos the had taken together on their first Christmas after getting engaged, their cheeks rosy, the sparkle in their eyes matching the shimmer of the Rockefeller Christmas tree behind them. They were being very sappy that night, perhaps a little too sappy after chugging quite a bit of eggnog at the Stinson family Christmas party. Robin struggled to flip through the pictures as her hands shook. She could barely see the pictures anyway, tears pouring down her cheeks and blurring her vision. She wiped her nose on her sleeve before shoving the photos into her purse, along with some framed wedding pictures, a folder containing letters that Barney would write to her while she was away, and a bottle of Glen McKenna that they had been saving to drink together on their fifth anniversary. Robin reached into the open box in front of her, fishing around until she laid her hand on something soft. She grabbed onto whatever she was holding and pulled it out. It was a worn terry-cloth teddy bear, a gift from their first Valentine's Day as a married couple.
-February 14th, 2014-
Robin stepped off of the elevator onto hers and Barney's apartment floor after a long day at work. She was exhausted. Several other employees had taken the day off to spend with their significant others, and it was up to her to pick up the slack. Upon her return home, she was not expecting to see her husband waiting outside the door with a bouquet of red roses in hand. He wasn't in his usual suit, but in a sleek, jet black tux, one he reserved for his and Robin's date nights. After a quick kiss hello, she sighed. "Barney, babe, I know you probably have something big planned for tonight, but I'm not really feeling up to going out. Is there any way we can just stay in tonight?"
Barney gave her a knowing smirk. "Sure we can."
He twisted the doorknob and let the door swing open. Robin walked in and gasped. The lights had been dimmed, but there was an ethereal glow flooding the room from the dozens of candles Barney had placed everywhere. The couch had been pushed against the wall, and in the middle of the room sat a white tablecloth covered table and two chairs sitting on either side. A tall pillar candle was placed in the middle of the table, the flame dancing, and two places had been set using the fine china and engraved silverware that Barney and Robin had received as wedding gifts. The savory scent of rosemary grilled shrimp and fresh bruschetta wafted from aluminum containers on the kitchen counter, beside a large bottle of sauvignon blanc. Robin stood in awe of the scene before her as Barney gently lifted her coat from her shoulders and hung it on the coat rack behind them. A moment later, Robin turned to face her husband.
"Did you do this?" she breathed. Barney simply grinned and lightly kissed her.
"Happy Valentine's Day, darling."
Robin sighed. "Barney, this is so sweet, but it's… it's too much. I mean, I didn't even get you anything." Barney shrugged. "It was nothing. You know what you can give me? A nice, quiet night in with my beautiful wife."
"I can do that."
He placed a hand on the small of her back and led her to the table, pulling her chair out for her as she sat down. He took both of their plates into the kitchen and filled them with the warm food that he had made. He brought the plates back to the table and sat down, but as he reached for his fork, Robin placed her hand over his and gripped it tightly.
"Barn, thank you. For everything. You're too good to me." Again, Barney shrugged. "Like I said, it was nothing. I just wanted to do something special to celebrate today with the love of my life. Which reminds me…" Barney pulled the napkin off his lap and set it beside his plate, then dashed off into the bedroom. Robin watched him leave, sipping her wine. When he returned, he held one hand behind his back, and in the other hand was a black rectangular box, clearly jewelry of some sort. He was grinning innocently, like a small child. "I got you presents."
"Barney, seriously, this is too much, and I—"
"Hey Robin?"
"Yeah?"
"Shut up."
He pushed the black box toward her. She took it and opened it, gasping at what she saw. It was a locket, with "S+S, 5-26-2013" engraved on the front. Robin lifted the slender silver chain out of the box and unhooked the clasp on the locket. Inside was a tiny picture of Robin and Barney during their first dance at their wedding, foreheads pressed together, bodies intertwined, the rest of the world faded away. It was Robin's favorite, the same one that she had enlarged and hung in their bedroom. "Barney, it's beautiful. Thank you so much." Robin gave her husband a watery smile.
"That's not it." Barney then handed her a brown teddy bear, a large red bow around its neck. Robin took the bear and stared at it for a moment, then snorted.
"Ok, this is good. Everything else- dinner, the candles, the locket- that was really sweet, Barn, and again, thank you, but this? A teddy bear?" Barney watched her reaction. "What's wrong with it?"
"Well, it's a bit cheesy, don't you think? What are we, twelve?"
"Robin, it's our first Valentine's Day as a married couple, so could you just? Okay?" Robin giggled, then set the bear down on the table. "I appreciate the thought, babe." Barney sat down across from her, and the two started to eat. "It's a cute bear." Barney mumbled into his food. "Awww, yeah. Sure, baby." Robin chuckled.
-October 7th, 2014-
"Hi, Mr. Donovan? This is Barney Stinson, Robin's husband? I'm just calling to let you know that she won't be coming in to work today, or the rest of this week for that matter. Unfortunately she's come down with the flu or someth- Would you just get back in bed already? Yeah, sorry, so just calling to let you know. Alright, thanks. Bye."
Robin rarely ever got sick, but in the fall of 2014, she got hit pretty hard. She had tried to fake being fine so that Barney would allow her to go to work, but no dice. He had woken her up with kisses and had immediately noticed her rising temperature. She couldn't sneak out, either, thanks to Barney being so overprotective. She really didn't like being watched so closely, especially when she was so sick (she preferred to lick her wounds in private) but she had to admit, her husband pampering her was pretty nice. He was constantly by her side, holding her hair back as she lost last night's dinner, fluffing her pillows for her, even reading to her because she was too tired to watch television and her eyes hurt too much to read the pages herself. For someone so set in her independence, Robin was appreciative of the care that her husband doled out to her.
"Barney, seriously, I'm feeling better. Can I at least go out to run some errands? This is ridiculous."
"Nope. You're sick, you need rest. And there is no way you are going out wearing that." Robin, in a fever induced haze, had slipped a coat and snow boots over her plaid pajama bottoms and Canucks tee shirt. Barney pushed her back onto the bed, pulling the boots and coat off and tossing them to the side. He grabbed some fluffy knit socks and pulled them onto her feet, then tucked her into bed. "Be right back," he said, kissing her on the forehead. Robin pouted as she watched him disappear into the kitchen. He returned with a medicine bottle, a glass of juice, and the Valentine's Day teddy bear. "Here, this should help bring your fever down." He passed her the medicine bottle, then held the juice glass upright for her as she washed the pills down. He set the glass on the bedside table. "What's with the bear?"
"To keep you company."
"Seriously?"
"What? He's cute, Robin. Humor me." Robin groaned, then took the bear from his grasp. "Fine." Barney slid into his side of the bed, then tucked the bear into the sheets between them. "What's his name?" Robin cocked an eyebrow at her husband. "What are you talking about?"
"The bear. He has to have a name."
Robin smirked. "You are such a child."
"How about Cocoa? Or… I don't know… Fluffy?"
"Fluffy? Really?"
"What, do you have something better?"
Robin thought for a moment. "Roosevelt."
"What kind of a name is that?"
"Well, think about it, B. The teddy bear was named after President Theodore Roosevelt. I'm not naming him Theodore, that's too weird, but Roosevelt's more… I don't know… practical?"
Barney scoffed. "Alright, Miss Practical. Roosevelt it is, then." Robin smiled, then wrapped her arms around Barney's torso, laying her flushed cheek against his chest. Barney took Roosevelt and tapped the bear's nose against Robin's forehead.
"Feel better, babe."
"Thanks for taking such good care of me," Robin whispered as she drifted off to sleep.
-March 3rd, 2015-
Robin sighed as she flipped the lights on once again. She had been assigned to three weeks in London, covering a United Nations summit. Unfortunately, Barney had a string of meetings to attend at work, and couldn't take the time off to go with her. Usually, Robin didn't mind going on trips alone. She didn't have to worry about making time for her and Barney—she could fully immerse herself in work, conducting research and interviews in her time off. Being alone was never an issue, as she would always call Barney (regardless of time zone difference) and they would talk to each other about their day. At night, he would talk to her until she fell asleep, and he would do the same to her. It was a comfort to hear his voice, low and gentle, and she could pretend that he was lying in bed next to her instead of being countries away. Tonight, however, he was stuck in a meeting and couldn't escape to talk to her, so she had to get to sleep without him. She was not very successful. Robin rolled over and flipped the switch on her phone, squinting to adjust to the brightness as she checked the time. 3:22 AM. She had exactly three hours and eight minutes to fall asleep before she had to get up for work. Robin pressed the heels of her palms against her eyes, wishing that she would fall asleep. When did she become so dependent on Barney? She finally flipped on the lights and climbed out of bed, desperate for a release from her insomnia. She began digging through her suitcase, looking for some cold medicine to knock her out, when Roosevelt rolled into her lap. She picked the bear up and chuckled. Barney must have snuck him into my bag she thought. She lifted Roosevelt to her face, inhaling the scent of Barney's cologne. She immediately felt calmer, more relaxed. Robin climbed back into bed and flipped off the lights, cuddling the teddy bear to her chest. She was asleep in minutes. This started a habit; whenever Barney found himself unable to accompany her on a trip, she would make sure to pack Roosevelt into her carry-on, substituting the bear for her husband's presence.
-Present Day-
Robin squeezed the teddy bear in her fists, tears pouring from her eyes as she sobbed uncontrollably. The aching in her chest had increased and throbbed with each sob that wracked her body. This continued on for quite some time, until Robin decided that she should leave. She wrapped Roosevelt in the cashmere blanket that had formerly been draped around her shoulders. She picked up her purse, which was weighed down with several other items that she had chosen to keep for whatever reason, and left the storage locker. When she returned to the hotel room that she was occupying during her short return to New York, she collapsed onto the bed. She pulled the blue blanket up to her chin, reveling in the softness and the memories that came with it; Barney would wrap this blanket around the both of them when they would stay up to watch a movie, then would swaddle his wife as he lifted her sleeping form and carried her off to bed. Robin also clutched Roosevelt. She had exhausted herself from crying, an action that had now become an everyday occurrence, yet she had not slept well since the divorce. This night was different, however; within minutes she drifted off to sleep, and she slept throughout the night, wrapped in the memories of her lost relationship with her true love.
