It was overwhelmingly simple for John to identify the exact moment when everything came crashing down around him.

The day itself wasn't anything out of the ordinary, only in that it was a bit chilly for a normal morning on Lantea. When John had gone for his run that morning he'd worn a sweater and even now in the later morning hours he still wore his sleeves down. He'd just walked into Rodney's lab to bring him his midmorning coffee when he was nearly blindsided by the sight.

Rodney was buzzing around his lab raving loudly, hands dancing above his head, wrapped snugly in his bright orange fleece. The very same one he had been wearing in Antarctica the day they met. Memories flooded John's mind in crashing tsunami waves.

"Major, think about where we are in the solar system." With one suggestion of his mind John seemed to be able to summon a plethora of bright lights before his eyes above their heads. His blood ran faster.

Sitting on the ground, the grass beneath him. Tossing the coin in the air and not even looking at it once it came down.

"Piece of cake!" John contorted his facial features before taking the final step. I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to die…

"You okay?" Leftover adrenaline snaked through his veins as he looked to McKay. He wasn't dead. McKay wasn't dead. They weren't dead. John let out a breath.

"Doctor McKay gave in so easily. It's astounding what a little blood can get you." His stomach dropped and all John could see was red.

"I am going to kill you."

"He really sold you." John bit his lip.

"He asked me to trust him."

"We need to leave."

The early memories gave way to newer ones. Rodney in the mess, Rodney in the field, Rodney in the infirmary, Rodney on the pier, Rodney in John's room ranting about something completely senseless. Rodney. John's stomach dropped to the floor and shattered. He felt pieces of himself skitter across the floor like a broken vase.

A shout brought him back to reality.

"Out! Out! All of you now! I swear your collective stupidity is going to lower my IQ!" Rodney placed a hand on his forehead and sighed. Rodney's crew left quickly with looks of relief and frustration on their faces. Zelenka was the last to leave, laptop clutched tightly in his arms as he gave John a sympathetic look.

Rodney didn't notice John for moments after until he turned around to grab a tablet and saw him standing there in the doorway, coffee still clutched in his hand.

"Oo is that for me?" Rodney asked, coming around the table to take the steaming cup from John who was still standing speechless. Rodney grabbed the mug and took a greedy gulp, humming in pleasure before putting it down on the table. John was still staring at him.

"Colonial are you alright?" Rodney was staring at him now with a curious look on his face. Suddenly a huge grin broke out on John's face.

"What? What is it? Is there something on my face?" The scientist's hand immediately started wiping at his mouth.

Finally able to break free of his frozen state, John took two even steps and landed squarely in front of the other man. Rodney barely had time to raise a questioning brow before John swiftly captured his lips between his own. It wasn't much more of a press, conveying more of a question than a statement before he pulled back again.

"Wh- what was that for?" Rodney asked nervously with wide eyes.

"I love you," John stated plainly. He made no effort to move, looking into Rodney's startled eyes for signs of reciprocation or more probably, rejection.

"Oh," the other man replied simply. "Well why didn't you say something before?"

"I- um-" John began, startled. Rodney silenced his babbling with another kiss. John pressed back against him with fervour, making this kiss longer and slower. When he felt the whisper of Rodney's tongue against his bottom lip he melted, letting the tongue slip past his lips. John grabbed the front or Rodney's stupid orange fleece and pulled him as close as they could possibly be. He felt Rodney's fingers snake around his head and into his hair. John sighed into the scientists mouth but it came out more like a moan. He felt Rodney's lips turn up underneath his before he pulled back.

"I love you," Rodney said a little smugly with a wide crooked grin on his face. John's hands were still roughly fisted into Rodney's sweater.

That stupid fleece that brought him to pieces just moment earlier. But with every touch of Rodney's lips he could feel the pieces come back and rearrange themselves so that they fit perfectly with Rodney. He decided he wouldn't mind picking up the pieces, as long as Rodney was there to help him put them back together.