A/N: This is a continuation of L's dream from the beginning of episode 25 of the Death Note anime series.
A/N: "Any resemblance to real people, dead or alive, is purely coincidental."
Disclaimer: Death Note and other discernible characters/quotes belong to their respective authors. I don't own them, only the plot of this fanfiction is mine. I also do not make money off of this.
L's First Love
I remember her humming the melody to the song "You are my sunshine," and I was slowly drifting off to sleep. The seven-year-old me was intelligent as ever, but when it came to her, it was different. I lost control of my mind just by hearing her voice. It's probably because I never experienced any loving touch before. I've never felt so unsure, so… so… unsure…
"S, you will be in charge of taking care of this young boy starting today." Watari said.
"The girl Watari called S smiled and said, "Gladly, father."
"His name is… L."
"Hello, L. I'm Sakura. Welcome to Wammy's House." She offered me a handshake.
"H-Hello…" I shook her hand.
She tightened her grip. I let go because I thought it was weird.
She chuckled lightly. "Well, L, let's go. I'll show you the rooms and you can choose one for yourself."
"Okay…" I walked behind her.
"So, L… do you want to tell me something about yourself?" She asked.
"…"
"Okay… then, what kind of food do you like?"
"… Sweets… I like sweet things."
"Guess what? I like cooking and baking." She smiled innocently at me.
I had a blank look on my face…
We reached the floor where the rooms are and we walked inside every single one of them. There was one room with no windows and only a lamp lighting the room.
"I like this one."
"Are you sure? It's pretty dark in here…"
"Un…" I nodded. "…I like the dark."
"Alright then, this will be your room." She crouched down to meet my eyes. "What kind of furniture do you want? Do you want a bed that's shaped like a car?"
"No…"
"Okay… do you want a bed that turns into a desk?"
"No…"
"Okay… tell me what you want then."
"I just need a comfortable chair, a desk, and a closet."
"What…? No bed…?"
"I don't like beds…"
I lied to her… the truth was… I don't sleep much…
"Alright… okay… no problem… Well, I hope you're hungry." She held out her hand as she stood up.
I grabbed it awkwardly. She walked with me, hand-in-hand. We went to the kitchen. She lifted me up and sat me on a high chair next to the counter.
"You're gonna help me cook, right?" She asked.
"S-Sure…" I replied shyly.
"Okay!" She put her palms together. "First, we gotta was our hands, L."
She picked up a wooden stool and placed it in front of the sink. She then picked me up again and landed my feet on the highest step. She placed her arms around me as she twisted the faucet and gently took my hands and put it under the running water. She squeezed out some hand soap and rubbed my hands against each other. She rinsed the soap off. It felt so heavenly, I almost cried. So this is how it feels to have someone care for you? She picked me up again and placed me back in my seat. She took a piece of cloth and wiped my hands with it.
After that, she made the icing cream for the cake and scooped a little bit with a spoon and held it in front of my mouth. I ate the icing while blushing.
"It's not sweet enough…" I said as I grabbed the sugar bag and poured the entire thing in the bowl.
She looked shocked, but then she laughed. "So that's how you like it! Now, I know how to make your food."
I looked down, embarrassed. Then she hugged me from behind. She tightened her hug around my neck, but not choking me.
"You're my one and only L, okay?"
I blushed lightly and gripped her arms with my small hands. I felt her smile against the back of my head. Her embrace felt so warm.
That was when I realized that she was special.
I remember I'd always act like I was sleeping so she would carry me back to my room or I would shift and turn, pretending I couldn't fall asleep so she would lay down with me for a couple more minutes.
I remember she took me to the more… ghetto area of Winchester. I held her hand.
"Are you afraid?" She asked me.
"Yes…"
"I was, too. These people are bad…" She scanned the people's faces in the area. "There was a time when I had to choose between the person I love the most, an innocent child, and an awful criminal, I was even more afraid, then. I had the power to save them both, but it would have been at the cost of another man's life. He robbed a bank and took hostage the only man I've ever loved and a young boy. The robber was probably a couple of more times much worse than the love of my life or what the boy could have been. I had the gun, I could have shot him, but I couldn't. Even if I had to choose between an awful man and two good people, I couldn't pull the trigger." She looked at me. "I was too weak to kill someone to save another… and up until this day, it haunts me."
"Then… what happened to those three?"
"They all died… That is why, I promised myself: If I were to encounter such an event again, I would not hesitate. Because you see, for the people that I love, I am willing to throw my own life away if it would mean that they can continue living the life that was given to them a little longer… So that they can see the beauty of this world even just for a day longer…"
"What is your greatest fear?"
"Hmm… losing someone, I guess." She looked up at the sky and started walking while holding my hand. "…but there is something that I am more afraid of…"
She waited for a response, but got none. So she continued to speak.
"I am more afraid of monsters—"
"Why monsters?" I interrupted.
She smiled. You see, L… there are many types of monsters in this world: There are monsters who cause trouble without revealing themselves; monsters who abduct children; monsters who crush and devour dreams; monsters who suck blood… and then there are monsters who tell nothing but lies. They are much more cunning than the other monsters—they pose as humans even though they have no understanding of the human heart; they eat even though they have never experienced hunger; they study even though they have no interest in academics; they seek friendship even though they do not know how to love. These monsters are scary because they do not hesitate. They can take everything away from me in a split second. If I were to encounter such monsters, I would likely be eaten by them—because in reality… I am one of them…"
Her words struck me so hard, it felt like I was stabbed right through the heart. And I knew that I would never forget those words.
"L, baby, what are you doing?"
I didn't respond, instead, I continued flipping through the confidential records. She peeked over my shoulder.
"Honey…?" She spun my swivel chair to have me face her. "These are the FBI's confidential records…"
"Yes. Yes, it is." I made no attempts of spinning back.
"How did you obtain them…?" She had a very perplexed look on her face.
"I hacked into their system."
"Through where?'
"The computer that Watari gave me…"
"You had it for two hours and the FBI's confidential files are the first thing you look up?" She asked worriedly.
"I looked that up and some company stocks in the stock market and had Watari buy the buyable ones. In two years, his assets will increase about fifteen to twenty thousand times the original amount now."
"Kids wouldn't do that…"
"Yeah, but I don't even come close to what you might call a 'normal' kid."
"L…"
"You have heard of the terrorist group looking to start World War III, right?"
"Yes, it's all over the news."
"I'm very intrigued by it…"
"How so…?"
"There has been a mistake… The people behind the terrorist attack are not from the Middle East, like the president of the United States says it is. They're actually from Russia and they have the US President's daughter in custody. There are two questions: Why haven't the United States announced this kidnapping to the public and what do the Russians want?"
"So… you want to find out why the US haven't asked for help from other countries and what the Russians want?"
"That… and save the president's daughter."
She smiled. "You're gonna do great things, L."
"Un…" I nodded.
I liked it when she said good things about me. It kinda gave me a self-esteem boost.
Finally, after six weeks of investigating and hacking into every single possible source of information from different countries, I found out where the president's daughter was situated and what the Russians wanted.
"L, this is a dangerous game. Are you sure you want to play it?" She asked worriedly as she held my hands.
"Yes." I said firmly.
"That determination…" She started crying. "… Those eyes were just like his…" She hugged me tightly. "I already have a bad feeling about this… and I know that the moment you started investigating, this was already a risk, but promise me, L… promise me, you'll come back to me unharmed."
I hugged her back. "I promise…"
I awkwardly wiped her tears away with my palm. "You'd be here when I come back, right?"
"Of course, baby, of course… I'll even have a cake waiting for you when you come back. Just come back to me, okay?" She held my hand on her cheek.
"Okay…"
She watched me drive away with Watari. I looked back at her and felt like those were the last moments we'd ever spend together… I was right.
There was a shootout right when we arrived at the Russians' hideout. They were expecting company, I did not anticipate that—and that was my flaw. She followed us and showcased her outstanding talent in marksmanship. She had killed every single one of those motherfuckers using a custom-made .45-caliber pistol and two rounds. Not one of her bullets strayed from a target.
After she finished shooting, she came up to me and said, "You're… gonna do great things… and change the world…" She hugged me. "You're one of a kind… you're my one and only… you're my baby… I love you… L…" I felt her kiss my forehead. "You were worth those two bullets…" She fell on top of me.
I felt a damp, sticky liquid slowly soak through my clothes. It was coming from her. She was shot through the heart with two sniper bullets.
I hugged her back and cried loudly. "Ahhhhhh!"
"L…" Watari uttered. "I'm sorry, son."
That was the first time I've ever shed tears for someone. That was the first time I got emotional. That was the first time I cared…
Sakura Ryuuzaki, my first love, died when she was just seventeen years old, protecting me.
When I woke up, I had tears running down my cheek. Light was shaking me to wake me up.
"Ryuuzaki…! Ryuuzaki, wake up! You're having a nightmare."
I opened my eyes and looked up at him. "It wasn't a nightmare, Light. It was a very pleasant dream. She was probably the best dream I've ever had. Too bad you didn't get to meet her."
"Who is she?"
"She was the best thing that ever happened to me, my first love…" Then I looked up and whispered in English, "Cherry Blossoms…"
"I never thought you'd ever fall in love with anyone…"
I just walked away with my hands in my pockets, without making any attempts of wiping the tears off my face. "I'm gonna go wash my face…"
After I washed my face, I continued walking to Watari's room.
"What's wrong, Ryuuzaki?"
"I dreamt about Cherry Blossoms…"
"You mean, Sakura? Her real name is Sakura Ryuuzaki, you know? She had long forgotten about her life as an assassin named, Cherry Blossoms." Watari smiled, realizing that I was not gonna say another word. "Tell me all about your dream…"
