The Adventures of Jeff:
The Order
Chapter 1: Read the whole thing
Fap, fap, fap. Jeff had finished pumping his bike and then went to his bedroom to masturbate. Jeff was a 21 year old pervert, who watched hentai every day, he especially like Boku No Pico (google it). Boom! A storm broke Jeff's window and blew his curtains away, and everyone saw his 2 inch penis. The air started to smell of onions
"No… this can't be happening," said Jeff.
Shrek burst through his door and smashed his head. Jeff had fainted.
Jeff opened his eyes. He had a white sticky substance all over his naked body. I know what you are thinking, it must be soap, and you're right! Shrek opened the door and brought him to a woman.
"Hello my name is Anita Dick," said Anita Dick. "You have been chosen to join the illuminati."
"F*** off b*tch! How am I meant to be religious, and be part of the illuminati? I need to follow Mike Hunt and follow pedofilism," screamed Jeff.
"Ever heard of necrofillia," said Anita.
"I'm in" said Jeff.
Two days later…
"So when am I going to get my white hat and white robes?" asked Jeff.
"You can start hanging yourself tomorrow," said Anita Dick.
"Sugoi!"Shouted Jeff.
Jeff followed Anita to a dark basement, she locked the door. She then took off her shirt, as it was very hot. She then told Jeff to start dipping photos into chemicals. After Jeff has finished doing 7331 photos he went to look around the base to find some doritos and mountain dews.
"What are you f***ing doing you faggot?" said a voice around the corner.
Jeff was very scared. An 11 year old boy appeared with CoD in his hands.
"I'll noscope u m8," said the person.
"Shut the f*** up xXxdarude_ponyxXx, your kill to death ratio is only 0.420," said Jeff.
"U wot m8, I challenge you to a dddduel!" said xXxdarude_ponyxXx.
xXxdarude_ponyxXx noscoped Jeff's crotch. Too bad he had balls of steel. His penis absorbed the bullet and shot it at xXxdarude_ponyxXx vagina. xXxdarude_ponyxXx got his cod fish and slapped it across his face. Jeff fainted and xXxdarude_ponyxXx got 1337 experience and over 9000 gold.
