A/N: I'm sick of trying to get this chapter to sound right, and I'm sick of fighting with chapter two to get it to sound halfway decent as well. I was going to wait until I had chapter two done before uploading chapter one (I like to stay at least one chapter ahead), but it's proving more difficult than I imagined due to one of the characters being introduced next chapter-- Kouzuki Karen. She's not my least favorite, of course, but she's... down there. Her and C.C., although the latter won't be showing up until much, much later in the series.
This piece of fiction is not meant to be taken seriously in any way, shape, or form. There will be deus ex machinas out the ass, impromptu KMF battles on the school grounds, people being overly dramatic about high school romances, and basically this whole story is meant to be pure Ashford Academy antics fun. So please, do not take any of it seriously. It is pure crack, through and through. At least, until part two begins.
But for now, I present: Alternate. Because I suck at making up titles almost as much as I suck at writing in general. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Code Geass. Nor would I want to. Sunrise is doing just fine. Those trolls.
Warnings: crackiness, major WTFness, cruise control
A tall teenage boy with jet black hair dashed down the halls of the academy, panting heavily. He weaved through the sparsely populated crowds of students, looking for a certain room. "Not there, not there..." he whispered, feeling very out of breath, even though he hadn't run that far.
Finally, just as the clock was about to strike three, he saw the correct hallway. "There!"
He came to a halt in front of the door with a sign on it:
CHESS CLUB TRYOUTS TODAY
BE HERE BY THREE O'CLOCK TO TRY OUT
He grinned. "Made it."
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Chapter I - Let me join the student council!
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"Hello," he began politely as he entered the room, "I would like to join."
A majority of the students were situated around one table in the center. Against the walls were a few bookshelves with some books on them. A few students were leaning against said bookshelves, looking through some of the books with bored looks on their faces. One of the students at the center table, a boy with medium height and large, round glasses, looked up from the magazine the students were glancing over. "What was that?" he asked sharply, a little annoyed.
"I said, I'm here to join the club." He bit back the sentence that almost came after it, "Are you deaf?" Instead, he just narrowed his violet eyes, his patience wearing thin.
"...Are you a first-year?"
"...Yes..."
The boy with the glasses rolled his eyes in an exaggerated manner, then waved the newcomer off. "Yeah, sorry, we don't accept applications from first-years. You have to at least be a second-year in order to join our club. Maybe you should try the chess training club next door; that one's for first-year rookies."
The boy in the doorway was immediately incensed by the club president's remarks. His eyes widened and he exclaimed, "What?! But I don't need to join the training club!" He threw his hand over his chest, "I'm already good enough to be in the real chess club!"
"So they all say." The club president shrugged his shoulders. "Do you have any idea what you have to do in order to gain entrance into our esteemed club, uh..."
"Lelouch. Lelouch Lamperouge."
"Oh, a foreigner... right then, Lamperouge-kun. Do you have any idea what you have to do?"
"No, but I don't care. I can do it."
"You have to beat at least one existing member of our club." The club president smirked. "You start playing against the top-ranking players and play against all of us until you win. If you can't win by the time you reach the lowest tier, then you cannot join. It's as simple as that. Can you really do it, Lamperouge-kun?"
Lelouch balled his hands into fists and clenched his jaw. "Absolutely!"
-
5 Minutes Later
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"A--amazing...!" The president slumped back in his chair and stared at the board in front of him. "A first year... and so quickly...! I haven't seen this kind of skill since Maiko-sama...!"
"Now, I know I'm just a lowly first year," Lelouch began, as smug as he could possibly be, "but I believe this is what they in the chess-playing world call... checkmate?"
"Please!" The president fell to his knees and grabbed Lelouch's hands. "Please! It would be an honor for someone of your skill to join us! Please join our ranks! You would be added to the top tier of players, for sure!"
Lelouch continued smiling smugly. "No."
The president blinked. "Eh? What?"
"I've grown bored with the idea of joining your little club. If I really want to go play chess I'll do it by gambling, where at least there I can make some money off of it." He stood up, pulled his hands away from the president's and walked toward the doorway. He stopped right before exiting and turned around. "But thank you for letting me play. It was a pleasant little distraction."
After he left, the president collapsed onto the floor, his eyes spinning. The other members of the club crowded around him, asking if he was all right, unsure whether or not he had died from the shock.
Lelouch sighed as he walked down the hallway away from the chess club. "I still need a club to join... why did it have to be a requirement to join a club anyway...? They're nothing but distractions, clubs are..." He exhaled loudly, then glanced up and to his right. A colorful sign decorated the door of another club room.
COME JOIN THE CHOIR CLUB! WE WANT YOU!
"Hmm. I always did enjoy singing."
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5 Minutes Later
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"AND STAY OUT!"
Lelouch cried out as he landed on his stomach. "They didn't have to literally throw me out of the room... and what was with that 'cat under a rocking chair' analogy supposed to mean...? So what if I shattered a few windows...?" He stood up indignantly and walked off in a huff.
"Fine with me. I didn't want to join their club anyway." He slowed to a stop when he saw outside through one of the windows a few people in sports uniforms running along the track. "Hmm."
-
5 Minutes Later
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"GET LOST!"
Lelouch cried out in pain as he fell through the main doors leading back into the school buildings. "Jerks. What did they mean by that anyway? Fifty meters is a lot to run without getting tired! I think I did pretty well, considering." He got up slowly and brushed himself off. "Well I didn't want to join that club much anyway. Running is for people who aren't important enough to walk." And so he continued walking through the hallways, looking for a club to join.
-
GARDENING CLUB-- COME DIG UP SOME FUN WITH US!
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"WHO NEEDS SOMEONE WHO CAN'T EVEN LIFT A SHOVEL?! GET OUT!"
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EQUESTRIAN CLUB-- WE DON'T HORSE AROUND!
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"YOU TRIP OVER YOURSELF ONE MORE TIME AND YOU'LL COST US ANOTHER TEN THOUSAND YEN! STAY AWAY FROM OUR CLUB!"
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DRAMA CLUB-- TO JOIN OR NOT TO JOIN? THAT IS THE QUESTION!
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"GET OFF OF MY STAGE YOU MURDERER! YOU'VE SLAUGHTERED MY FAVORITE TRAGIC CHARACTER! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!"
-
Lelouch sighed heavily. "This is the worst open house in history." He pulled out his cell phone and glanced at the time-- 5:13. "Already? I told them I'd be back by five... but I still haven't found a club yet..." He leaned against the hallway wall. "I never realized I was so bad at so many things. And I considered myself a brilliant actor, too..." His mind reeled with different possibilities. There was always-- no, he couldn't do that... but then there was-- no, never mind... of course he could always-- no wait, they'd already kicked him out... what was there left?
He could always go and ask to join the chess club again, but his pride wouldn't let him. "I already basically told them I was too good for their club. I can't go back to them now." His fingers tightened around his cell phone. "No, I'll find a better club. I won't go back to those lowlifes."
Suddenly his phone rang. Startled, he yelped and almost dropped it. After quickly glancing at the caller ID, he answered it with a smile on his face. "Hello? Yes, Nunally, I know, but I ran into some trouble. Don't worry, I'll be back soon enough. You guys sit tight until I get back, okay? All right. Love you too." He clicked the phone shut, took a deep breath, and continued walking once again.
"This is no good. I need to find a club that I can join. Something that isn't trivial or stupid-- something like--" he glanced up and to the left. There was a sign on a door, but unlike the others, it was rather plain; it looked like it had been printed on pink paper, but other than that, there was no color. Just text. "Assist your school. Join the student council today."
"Student council...?" Lelouch didn't give himself time to object. Instead, keeping his mind carefully blank, he walked over to the door and knocked on it twice.
"Yes?" a female voice responded. "Come in."
Slowly he opened the door. "Hello, I am interested in joining the--" he froze. On the couch lay a student, a third year from the look of her brea-- her mature figure, stretching out lazily. Her yellow jacket was strewn off to the side and all she had on were the white undershirt and her navy skirt. She had even kicked her shoes off and was only wearing white stockings. She glanced over at Lelouch, who stood in the doorway, stunned, with a slight blush on his face. Slowly she kicked her right leg up (wh-white with pink stripes??), then propelled herself into an upright sitting position. She smiled, her dark brown hair falling messily in her face, then fixed her thin glasses. "You were saying?"
"...Uh... I..."
"You were interested in joining the...?" she waved her hand, indicating to him that he should continue. After a second he cleared his throat and cautiously glanced to the side, away from her.
"I am interested in joining the student council."
"Ah, I see. And you might be?"
"M-my name is Lelouch Lamperouge. I'm-- a first year--"
"Ah, a foreigner... I see. Well I'm the student council president." She gracefully placed her hand on her (quite large) chest. "My name is Akizawa Maiko. It's most definitely a pleasure to meet you," she smiled, "Lelouch-kun."
"Y-yes, same here..."
"HEY!" another female voice burst out from one room over, "what's going on in here?! That better not be a boy's voice I hear in there!" The voice got closer and closer until finally a tall blonde came crashing through a doorway on the side of the room, a doorway that linked to another room in the back, ostensibly also belonging to the student council. She narrowed her bright blue eyes. "It was a boy's voice! Kaichou, what's going on in here?! You can't let a boy in!"
"But Milly-chan, wasn't it you who was saying just a minute ago that we might have to disband the student council for the first time in history because of a lack of members? We need at least four, or else we wouldn't qualify as a club. Just a second ago you were the one saying that, remember?"
"YEAH BUT NOT BOYS!"
"Um..." Lelouch quietly began to interject, but his voice was drowned out by Milly's.
"Kaichou you can't be serious about letting him join! No way no way no way!"
"Still as childish as ever, eh Milly-chan?"
"But kaichou!"
"Relax. I haven't even decided whether or not he can join yet. He might not be--" she glanced at him with a smirk and narrowed eyes-- "worthy."
Lelouch narrowed his eyes back at her, feeling strangely irritated at her words. "I can assure you I am more than qualified for any task you may have for me."
"Is that so?" She leaned back and folded her arms across her chest. "Can you file papers?"
"It's simple enough; I see no reason why not."
"Then file that stack of papers over there," she pointed to a large stack of papers to the right of the couch on which she was sitting, "in under ten minutes."
The girl called Milly grinned excitedly. "Ha! It can't be done. He'll never do it. He's done for now!"
"Fine then. I'll do it." Lelouch clenched his jaw and walked stiffly over to the stack of papers, divided it into two smaller stacks, knelt down in front of the two small stacks, and set to work. Milly watched closely, anxious.
In nine minutes and thirty-six seconds, all of the papers were filed. Milly's eyes widened, and her jaw dropped. "No way..."
Lelouch smirked to Akizawa. "Anything else, kaichou?"
"As a matter of fact," she began casually, brushing a few stray hairs out of her eyes, "yes. You can fill out all of those forms and put them in the proper folders. You have seven minutes." She pointed to another large stack of papers to her left, next to a tall fake potted plant.
Lelouch nodded curtly. "Fine then." He stood up and walked over to the new stack of papers.
Milly balled her hand into a fist, "Yes! There's no way he'll get it done in time!"
In six minutes and thirty-nine seconds, the forms were all filled out correctly and in their proper folders. Milly, who looked strangely pale, fell into a nearby chair. "No... no way..."
"Well well, Lelouch-kun," began Akizawa playfully, "you seem to have a natural talent for this type of work. You would be well-suited for the student council." She stood up and sauntered over to him casually. Lelouch stood as well to meet her gaze. "In fact, I can only think of one reason you wouldn't be a perfect addition to our group."
"And that is?" Lelouch asked, expressionless.
Akizawa smirked deviously. The light in the room shone across her glasses. "The fact that I simply cannot stand the sight of men."
The room went silent. Finally Lelouch closed his eyes and responded, "I am sorry, but there are some things that simply cannot be helped. However," he opened his eyes and gazed at her fiercely, "you will allow me to join, despite your bias. Let me join the student council!"
An angry expression flickered across Milly's face when Lelouch said that to Akizawa, but Akizawa just smiled and closed her eyes. "I see. So that's how it is. Maybe you are student council material after all." She turned around and walked back over to the couch, but didn't sit down. Instead, she stopped, turned around, and continued, "There's just one more test."
"What is it? Whatever it is, I'll pass with flying colors!"
"You seem so sure of yourself. It's amusing." She fixed her glasses again. "The test, however, is a chess match."
-
"Takiiiii!" Akizawa called out in a sing-song voice while she pulled Lelouch through the halls. "We need to borrow your room for a minute!"
The chess club president, Fujitaka Shiro, yelped at Akizawa's voice. "Oh my God, it's Maiko-sama! She's coming here!"
"There you are, Taki!" Akizawa poked her head through the open doorway and smiled brightly. "I just need to borrow your room for a minute, it shouldn't take long; I just have to put a student in his place, that's all." She entered the room, dragging Lelouch behind her. "It's all right, isn't it? I promise I won't take long."
Fujitaka's eyes widened. "Y-y-you're the student from earlier...! And you're playing against Maiko-sama...!" He tried to continue, but no words would come out of his mouth.
The rest of the chess club filled in for him. "This is gonna be awesome!"
"The match of the century!"
"I can't wait to watch this!"
Milly, who had ran behind the student council president, came to a screeching halt outside the chess club room. "What's everyone making such a big fuss about...? He's nothing special... is he?"
Soon after Fujitaka's exclamation, a small crowd formed outside the chess club room. Even before Lelouch and Akizawa sat down to play, there was excitement in the air.
"So I guess you're good at this game?" Lelouch asked, trying to be friendly.
"Something like that." Akizawa took off her glasses. "Let's begin. Set the timer at one minute, please Taki?"
Fujitaka blinked, but did as she asked. He then set the timer down next to the prepared chess board. Akizawa glanced at it, then back up at Lelouch, her confident smirk never leaving her face. "Well? It's your move. Let's get started."
-
"I'm worried. Oniisama's never been this late before..."
"Do you want to go look for him?"
"...Yes, please, if you don't mind."
-
Akizawa bit her lip, uncertainty starting to show on her face, ever so slightly. "I have to say I've never faced a tougher opponent." She gave Lelouch a playful smirk, trying to cover up her nervousness. Finally she moved her knight and hit the timer.
Lelouch grimaced. She had made exactly the move he didn't want her to make. It would take at least five turns to make up for it. "I would have to say the same about you." He smiled kindly before moving one of his bishops and hitting the timer as well.
The crowd around the two watched with bated breath as the two continued on in this manner. The match had gone on for nearly thirty minutes-- longer than either of them had ever had a match run on. Fujitaka, however, looked confused.
"Taki-san?" one of the club members asked quietly.
He looked at her. "You see it too, don't you?"
She nodded. They both fell silent again.
-
"He said he was going to try out for the chess club, right?"
"Yes, but he also said he had some trouble..."
"Still, we should probably start there..."
"You're right. Where was it again?"
-
Lelouch tapped his right index finger against the table irritatedly. "If this keeps up it may come down to just our kings on the field."
Akizawa, equally annoyed, muttered, "That's true, isn't it?"
"So then what should we do?" Lelouch moved one of his remaining pawns, hit the timer, then looked up at her carefully.
Akizawa stared at the board for almost her full minute before responding. "I guess we can call it a draw." She looked up at him to meet his gaze. "If that's all right with you."
Lelouch smiled hesitantly, not wanting to show how relieved he was. "I think that would be all right with me. I haven't had anyone force me into a draw for a very long time, you know."
"Same here." Akizawa smiled back, then hit the timer, picked it up, and turned it off.
Everyone in the crowd sighed, some in disappointment, some in relief, all in unison. A brief moment of silence was followed by a round of applause.
Nunally blinked and glanced around. "Did you hear that?"
"Yeah..."
"So then," Lelouch began as he stood up to stretch, "does this mean I win your approval?"
"No way!" Milly cried out, pointing forcefully, "You didn't even win! You'll have to do better than that to--"
"Yes, I believe it does."
"WHAT? But kaichou--!"
"That's enough, fuku-kaichou," Akizawa replied in a serious tone. "He's more than proven himself worthy to me. I guess what you're really saying is you don't approve of my decisions or trust my judgment..."
"What? No! That's not it at all!"
"Well then?"
She blinked. "Huh?"
Akizawa smiled. "Introduce yourself, silly."
"Oh, right..." She reluctantly turned to face Lelouch. "I'm the vice president of the student council, second year, Milly Ashford." She gave a small bow and smiled a bit.
Lelouch's eyes went wide. "Milly-- Ashford? You're-- you're the--"
"Yes, that's right, my grandfather owns the school. It is kinda obvious, isn't it?" She rubbed the back of her head nervously. "I guess there aren't a lot of people in Japan with the name 'Ashford,' are there? And this is called Ashford Academy..."
"Umm, excuse me?" A girl's voice cut through the crowd of people filtering out of the chess club room. "I went by the student council room, but there was a sign on the door that said to check here, so I wasn't sure..." Slowly a girl with long, bright red hair and green eyes made her way into the room. She was holding a few papers in one hand and a bag in the other. Her hair looked wet. "I'm sorry it's so late, I hope I'm not interrupting anything important. I had to try out for the swim team and I wasn't sure if I would make it here in time..."
Akizawa turned around. "I'm the student council president. Did you need to see me for something?"
"Yes! My name's Shirley Fennette. I was wondering if you would let me join the student council." She bowed deeply, dropping her bag and papers in the process. "Ah! Oh no!" She knelt down to pick them up. As she started picking up the papers, though, she noticed that her damp towel and bathing suit had fallen out of the bag. She yelped, embarrassed, and started picking those up instead. However, she hadn't let go of the papers, so they started to get wet. She yelped again and dropped the papers, scattering them all over the floor once more.
Lelouch tried his hardest not to roll his eyes. Akizawa, however, giggled a little and said, "I'm sure we could find a place for you on our team. Welcome to the student council."
Even as Lelouch's jaw dropped, Shirley looked up happily, "Oh really? Are you sure? Thank you so much!"
Milly tried her hardest to contain her laughter at Lelouch's expression, but couldn't. "Are you all right, Lelouch-kun? You look like you're about to have a heart attack!" Milly snickered.
"...Oniisama?"
Lelouch looked toward the direction of the voice, the doorway. "Oh! You're here!"
"Well, you were kind of late coming home, so we decided..."
"Ah," Milly leaned over Lelouch's shoulder, ignoring his protest while she draped her arm around him, "who are these two cuties? Your siblings?"
"Yes, that's right," the two of them answered in unison, smiling brightly.
"Sorry, let me introduce them. Here are my younger brother and sister, Rolo and Nunally."
"It's a pleasure to meet you," they both said and bowed.
Milly's breath hitched for a second before she let out a high-pitched squeal. "They are so CUTE!" She ran over to them and hugged them both, an impressive feat considering Nunally was in a wheelchair and Rolo was standing behind it. "We're gonna get along great, I just know it!"
Lelouch's eye started twitching again. "Get off of them get off of them get off of them get off of them get off of them--"
"Umm... who..." Rolo began uncertainly.
"Are you...?" Nunally finished.
"Let's work together for the following year!" Milly punched the air with her fist. "Yay!"
Lelouch massaged his forehead to prevent another headache. Akizawa sighed and shrugged. Shirley blinked in confusion, as did Rolo and Nunally, who shared a glance before making fists and uncertainly mimicking Milly's actions, "...Yay?"
-
Chapter I - Owari
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A/N part 2: I'm sure you've noticed, but I got rid of the Star Trek doors. They're just such an inconvenience in story writing; you can't slam the door in someone's face if you can't slam it at all! Also, if it works on a sensor, then you can't be standing right outside the door and overhear something in the room that you weren't supposed to hear! ...Not that anything of that nature will come up in the story later, of course...
Please remember my policy. If you review, I need one thing positive and one thing negative (can't go with just negative because I need to know what I'm doing right too after all). Be. Constructive. Be. Be. Constructive.
Mata yonde ne!
