Disclaimer: The Big Bang Theory doesn't belong to me. But honestly, did you ever think that it did?
A/N: My apologies to those of you who love Leonard and Penny together. I don't hate Leonard or Penny, I just don't particularly like them as a couple. Therefore, I didn't write this fic to bash the characters so much as to vocalize some of the issues that I have with their relationship. Hopefully Penny's inner voice(s) don't sound too OOC or lecturing. Also, I'm aware that the prefrontal cortex and limbic system don't really work the way that I've written them in this fic; I'm just exercising artistic license. Once again, I want to reiterate that it isn't my intention to offend those of you who are L/P shippers; you guys obviously see something in that relationship that I don't and you are well within your rights to feel/think that way.
As always, feedback (particularly constructive criticism) is greatly appreciated!
Amy Farrah Fowler: "And there you have it: prefrontal cortex reasoning vs. limbic lust. If this were a boxing match, they might call it The Thrilla Adjacent to the Amygdala."
— 6x03: "The Higgs Boson Observation."
Prefrontal Cortex: This is still a bad idea. I mean, Leonard and I didn't work out the first time. What's changed?
Limbic System: Excuse me, we've matured as people. We're totally more compatible now.
Prefrontal Cortex: Uh, no we aren't. And I can provide a whole list of examples why and how.
Limbic System: But Leonard's such a… he's so nice. And he likes me. He really likes me. It's nice being wanted. And he's smart and he's sweet and he's reliable and he'd never cheat on me like some of the guys I've dated.
Prefrontal Cortex: But I know I can do better than him. And that's why I trust him not to cheat on me. Because I know that he knows that too. How does that make for a healthy relationship?
Limbic System: I don't think I'm above him. Don't be ridiculous. I mean, if anything, he thinks he's better than me because he's so much smarter and stuff.
Prefrontal Cortex: And I repeat: how does this make for a healthy relationship?
Limbic System: Stop sounding like Sheldon. Besides, I like Leonard. And lots of other girls do too. I mean, just look at Sheldon's new skanky assistant. She was all over him. Leonard's a good catch.
Prefrontal Cortex: And the fact that other girls like him has nothing to do with him suddenly seeming more desirable, right?
Limbic System: Shut up, you're sounding like Amy. I like Leonard because I like Leonard. He's a great guy. Remember that snowflake he brought back for me from the Artic? He's done all sorts of nice things for me over the years, even when we weren't in a relationship. Oh, and remember that really sweet text he sent me just last week? I'm lucky to be with him.
Prefrontal Cortex: I don't feel lucky, though. I just feel… stifled. How is that fair to either of us? And besides, just because I like him doesn't mean that I like him. I mean, I like Raj, but that doesn't mean I want to date him. And Leonard may be a great guy, but he's not without his faults. Example #1: the can-opener incident.
Limbic System: Lalalalalala, I can't hear you. Besides, he was going crazy up there with Sheldon. Anyone would have reacted. Hell, I would have reacted.
Prefrontal Cortex: But he knew what he was getting into. And it was still a shitty thing to do, no matter how much Sheldon provoked him. Besides, that's not the only petty thing he's done. Leonard may be a good guy, but I need to stop putting him on a pedestal. For that matter, Leonard needs to stop putting me on a pedestal.
Limbic System: I'm not saying Leonard doesn't have his faults, OK? But I have faults too. Faults don't stop people from being in a relationship together. Oh, and I kinda like being worshiped, FYI.
Prefrontal Cortex: They should if they only make each others' faults worse, though. And being worshiped may be great in the short term, but –
Limbic System: Huh, is it just me, or is Leonard looking really hot lately? Rowrrr.
Prefrontal Cortex: Yeah, but Leonard's looks have nothing to do with our issues. And why exactly do I suddenly think that Leonard's suddenly hotter, anyway? Be honest.
Limbic System: OK, fine, maybe the fact that other women are interested in Leonard makes him more attractive to me. What's wrong with that? It's probably some sort of evolutionary-thingy. I bet Leonard or one of the guys could explain it…
Prefrontal Cortex: That doesn't mean that I ought to be with him, though. I mean, I've said it myself: Leonard may be sweet and smart, but he's not that funny and, well, the fact that he tries in the bedroom is great and all, but that doesn't mean that he satisfies me there. If I'm not happy, it isn't fair to stay in a relationship with him. There's probably some other girl out there who would be happy with Leonard and I'm keeping them from each other. And for what? Just to feed my ego and to stop myself from feeling lonely?
Limbic System: Hey, that's not fair. I really do like Leonard. He isn't just some… some safety net.
Prefrontal Cortex: But I don't love him. If I did, I would have said it ages ago. I mean, I've never been one to hold back what I'm thinking or feeling.
Limbic System: Loving someone is a big deal, OK? Excuse me if I don't feel ready to say the words yet. Besides, just because I don't say them doesn't mean that I don't feel them.
Prefrontal Cortex: But I don't feel them. I like Leonard a lot, but sure as hell don't love him.
Limbic System: If I don't love him, then why do I feel so miserable and jealous whenever he's involved with someone else, huh? Huh? Why do I feel so awful when I even think about him being with someone else?
Prefrontal Cortex: Because I do like him, even if I don't love him. And he's always been there, so I've gotten used to thinking of him as mine. But I don't love him. Not the way he seems to love me, anyway. And that's not fair to either of us.
Limbic System: So what are you saying? That I should break up with him again? I don't think so. I'm happy with the way things are right now. Besides, it would be really awkward if we broke up. He's friends with all of my friends, and they might take his side and then where would I be?
Prefrontal Cortex: That's exactly what I'm saying. And I'm not happy. Let's face it, if I was happy, I wouldn't be thinking about breaking up with Leonard in the first place. And since when have I let fear of consequences stop me? I moved to Pasadena with only a couple hundred bucks in my pocket to follow my dreams (fine – and a guy); I'm just that kinda girl.
Limbic System: Maybe I'm just scared of how real this is. Ever think of that? Maybe I'm scared of commitment with a decent guy.
Prefrontal Cortex: …OK, maybe I am scared of that. But that isn't the issue here. The issue is that Leonard and I are – what's the phrase my Gram always used – right, 'yoked unevenly.' And Leonard wants to settle down, but I'm not at a point in my life where I'm ready for that. He's just going to keep passive-aggressively pressuring me into –
Limbic System: You know what, I'm going to have a drink. Alcohol fixes everything. And it shuts you up.
Prefrontal Cortex: Wait! Don't –
Knockout!
