Disclaimer: The Twilight series belong to Ms.Stephenie Meyer, not I.
Author's note: This is only a draft copy of what to come... but please enjoy.
Prologue:
I sat on the floor, wallowing in melancholy.
Jake was such a good person, and that fact alone made me want to cry. What had I done to deserve a friend as good as him, I would never know. Although it had been so long since I'd seen him last, our unwavering friendship was still as strong as ever. He was supportive, funny and caring.
If I wasn't so irrevocably in love with Edward, then I certainly would have chosen Jake.
"Bells?" Jake's anxious voice cut through my train of thoughts, and I immediately focused on our conversation.
"Sorry, I missed that," I muttered, feeling awful about being unable to pay my full attention to him. It wasn't that I didn't want to-I did. However, there was a storm brewing in my mind, shifting my concentration from left to right, causing giddiness. My voice shook slightly, and I mentally slapped myself for it.
The tremor didn't go unoticed by Jake. I could practically see his brow furrowing, sitting on his tiny bed, lower lip jutted out in suspicion. "Bella, what's wrong?" His voice just confirmed my vision for me.
Those three words caused my grip on the phone to tighten even more, and if possible, I heard a tiny creak in the plastic. My knuckles had turned whiter than Edward's skin, and suddenly (to my horror), moisture welled up in my eyes, wetting my eyelashes. If my grasp were on a human's arm, it would have cut off their blood circulation. It was honestly that tight.
"Yes," I admitted. What was the use of lying? Jake would see right through it as though it were a plastic sheet, anyway. My hair covered my face as my head bowed down even further, and the thick strands nearly touched the floor.
His voice was sharp, as he accussed, "It's him, isn't it?" There was no need for him to ask for my verification, when he already knew the answer.
"Yes." Fresh pain threatened to haul me under it's gigantic waves again upon hearing reference to him. Visions of he and Evangeline flashed through my mind, and the tears started to fall.
"He still loves you, doesn't he?" This time, it was a question, and hesitance laced Jake's tone.
I wished that I could agree to Jake's words. I yearned to believe that Edward still loved me, that he still wanted me. But I couldn't.
"Honestly," I whispered, voice cracking on the word. How pitiful. "the words, 'I love you' have never meant less than they have before."
It was only then, that I realized that I was no longer alone in the dormroom. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. He had been bound to find out about my insecurity one way or another, anyway. But I couldn't continue my conversation with Jake. There was only so much that a person could take before they broke down. "I gotta go."
He seemed to understand. His voice was filled with commiseration and he gave me his trademark, "Sure, sure." However, it wasn't in its usual patronizing tone.
"Love you," I mumbled. Because, despite everything, it was true. Jake was my best friend, and I would always love him, even when I turned into a vampire and his scent would (supposedly) disgust me. Always. Forever. Then, I disconnected.
But not before I heard him go, "Love you, too".
Even if Jake had found a new significant other, we would always share that indestructable tie in our friendship. If only I could say the same about Edward's affection to me.
Slowly, I turned around, my heart in my throat, suffocating me in silence.
Edward's eyes were cold and icy as they met mine. They regarded me coolly, but I was still able to identify the hurt in them. I closed me eyes, unable to take the intensity of his glacial glare any longer. I heard the door open, and him leave without so much as a rustle. The tears that had momentarily stopped during my phone call with Jake started flowing freely, and I keeled over, my heart ripped into millions of shreds.
Sometimes, I wished that Edward could read my mind. Then, maybe he would understand how much I loved him -with every single cell in my body. It was undeniable, and would stay that way forever.
Then, maybe he would come back to me.
