How we know the Naruto series will really end...

WARNING: Drastic randomness!

Naruto In A Nutshell

Here's how it goes. Sasuke decides he wants to kill Itachi. He goes after him. Naruto, Sakura, Kakashi, and Sai all manage to make it right in time to help him kill the Mother fer off. Yadda Yadda Yadda. Naruto gets kidnapped by the head of the Akatsuki, who happens to be some really powerful shinobi that we should have known who he was, and probably is somehow linked back to Konoha.

Let's just says he's Naruto's grandfather for dramatic effect, and that he is also therefore Yondaime's father (because I think we all pretty much believe by now that Naruto is really Yondaime's son.)

Naruto freaks out, makes some drastic speech to get his grandfather to realize the error of his ways, but it's too late by then, the other Akatsuki members have already begun the process of removing Kyuubi from Naruto. Naruto half dies but is saved by his grandfather who was so deeply moved by Naruto's speech the he ends up dying to save Naruto's life. Yadda Yadda Yadda.

The Kyuubi is taken, and now the Akatsuki have a big huge nine-demonic being thingy ma thing. Naruto shows that without the Kyuubi he's super amazing and strong, and manages to kill off the big huge nine-demonic being thingy ma thing with Sasuke, Sakura, and Sai's help using "teamwork." Kakashi is proud. They all almost die in the effort to do so, but barely manage to live because Tsunade appears and heals them. But, yay, the big huge nine-demonic being thingy ma thing has died, so we're all really happy. Yadda Yadda Yadda. Though someone on Konoha's side should die too. Let's just kill off Pakkun because he's cool but not overly vital, so basically just 'cuz. Yadda Yadda Yadda.

They go back to Konoha. Sasuke gets his ear chewed out. He either a) hooks up with Sakura b) hooks up with Naruto (for all you yaoi fans out that) c) gets it on with some mystery chick d) realizes he's a prick and finally commits suicide like he's been trying to since he first tried it in Ep 6 (it's hinted at in the anime for all you non-Japanese speakers) e) stays single or f) learns he can mate with other winged beings. Yadda Yadda Yadda.

Sakura becomes the best medical ninja ever and either hooks up with a) Sasuke b) Lee c) Naruto d) Ino e) Sai or f) surprise ending and marries Maito Gai.

Naruto finally gets recognized by the village and becomes Hokage without becoming a chuunin or jounin, fulfilling that boast about becoming Hokage no matter what that he made way back when in like Ep. 25 during the written portion of the Chuunin exam. Then marries a) Hinata after he finally gets a clue b) Sasuke (again, the yaoi fan girls) c) Ino d) Temari e) Karin f) his long lost mother who he doesn't know is his mother at first and then commits suicide after finding out who she a la Hamlet style.


Don't worry ladies and gentlemen, that's not all! Wait another two weeks and they will come up with a Naruto sequel, or prequel or movie or new video game or ice cream cake! Naruto will not end there because these things never do.

Thank you, and good night.

Oh, and P.S. We never get to see Kakashi's face. Sucks, don't it?

- JessWithNails