Chapter 1 – The struggle after the battle
They had defeated the Great Dragon. He still couldn't believe it. 'You dealt him a deathly blow', Merlin's voice kept on echoing in his head. Camelot and its people were safe. Now things could return to normal. He hadn't noticed until now how tense he had been the past few days. Hoping, searching, digging for a solution. And it had come when least expected.
His last heroic attempt had been to ride into sure death with Merlin and his knights against his father's wishes. It was the only possibility left, he had thought. He owed that much to Camelot's people as their prince and future sovereign. Well, actually, he hadn't thought he'd survive the fight against the dragon, so he'd let go of the notion of ever becoming king. But to be honest, he didn't really care much for the title. He was born to lead and that was what he had done. The knights had pledged their loyalty to him and not his father when they decided to follow him into battle and that made him feel proud.
A few minutes ago, they had left the others back at the field in order to get help, hoping that they would hold onto life long enough. He hated losing men, hated having to tell their families of the loss, hated burying them. Even if he didn't admit it openly, they were like brothers, some more some less, but still. Their deaths also rendered him marked and crushed, especially now that Sir Leon and Sir Gawain we're laying scorched, barely breathing, back at the field. He needed to send for help as quickly as possible.
He looked up towards the castle walls in hope of seeing his father or a higher ranked guard he could relay the task to. He would of course accompany them but somebody had to prepare the horses and ready the servants for their return with the wounded soldiers. Therefore he hadn't seen Guinevere run towards them, until the very last second before she flung herself on him. She embraced him, laid her hand at the nape of his neck and whispered into his ear, "I thought I'd lost you." He was surprised at Guinevere's gesture, but she probably didn't care in that moment if anybody was observing them. And neither did he. So, he hugged her back with all the strength he had left.
He hadn't said farewell to her before he had rode out to face the dragon. He had wanted to, but not had the courage. He could live with never becoming king; but never seeing Guinevere again, never kissing her, touching her or gazing at her angelic face - that was too hurtful to bear. Hence, he had just left, hoping that she knew how much he loved her.
She felt so good in his arms. A perfect fit. He couldn't help smiling…it was amazing how Guinevere could turn sheer darkness into blinding light, and raise his mood from tragic sorrow to soaring bliss. She was his 'key to happiness'. He chuckled at his wordplay.
Eventually they broke their embrace. The feeling of loss or emptiness was sudden.
"Arthur, are you hurt? What happened out there?"
Guinevere had been worried to death from the very moment she had found out that two of the most important people in her life, Arthur and Merlin, had selflessly chosen to ride out and fight the dragon in order to save Camelot. To many it seemed like suicide, a lost cause, even if somehow epic. But she knew better. It was courage, bravery, heroism and loyalty. It was like she had always said, 'the only way for evil to triumph, was for good men to do nothing'. Nonetheless, she had been angry both at Arthur and Merlin for not saying goodbye. Did she mean nothing to them? No, that wasn't it. She knew that Merlin had probably been hurting just as much at the thought of dying and losing everyone he loved so dearly. And Arthur? With him she wasn't sure. Had he bid farewell to others and just not her? It had been a couple of months since the incident with Vivian. The whole fiasco had only done one good and that was proving to her that Arthur loved her. And, damn it, she loved him back with all her heart. It had been shattering to resist him, to deny him, to tell him that he would one day love another. She wanted him to be happy, of course, but with another woman? Everyone always cherished her for her good-heartedness, but she had sacrificed and lost many things in her life, for once she felt it was too much to ask.
She was sure his feelings for her had not changed in the slightest. It had only been the day before when he had risked his life to protect her from the dragon's attack and been injured in the act. 'I wasn't going to let anything happen to you.' And then he had enclosed her hand in his and raised it to his heart. God, that voice, that smile, those eyes. And now he was hugging her.
But then why had he not said goodbye to her? It was all too confusing, the many thoughts racing through her mind. For now, she had to push all her doubts aside and focus on the matters at hand.
"Guinevere, I...I'm…We're fine. The both of us. We defeated the dragon", Arthur answered energetically glancing at Merlin, who was joyfully talking to Gaius, "but some of the knights are severely injured and need assistance."
A heavy weight was lifted from Guinevere's chest at Arthur's response. But then she thought of Sir Leon, who had always been so kind and respectful towards her despite the difference in position. In time she noticed that it was his common nature and not just the way he interacted with her. He was on extremely good terms with Arthur, she thought them very good friends, and Sir Leon was exactly the type of man Arthur needed at his side. And her chest swelled again. If he were to die, Arthur would surely be devastated.
"Oh thank god! You saved us, Arthur, all of us…but what about Sir Leon, please tell me he's still alive?" An aching feeling sparked in Arthur at her question. He had been so entranced by Guinevere's welcoming that he had lost orientation for a second. Now, was not the time to deal with his feelings, he had men who were relying on him. So, he quickly reassured Guinevere and then headed for the throne room where he knew his father would be waiting. He felt bad leaving her behind so suddenly, but she wasn't alone; Merlin and Gaius were with her. And he was sure she wanted to welcome Merlin back just as much. But he would explain everything later, and he knew she would understand. She always had faith in him. That knowledge had given him the strength to plunge the spear into the dragon's chest. Her unremitting belief in him.
That was his last thought of Guinevere before he swung open the heavy wooden doors and strode into the throne room.
