Author's note: This bunch of connected oneshots was inspired by a conversation with Fabulous Cars Crazy Fudge about her profile. I hope you enjoy and I'll eventually start requesting suggestions if you're interested.
Disclaimer: If I owned Cars, I'd be making more movies, not writing fanfiction.
Inside the V8 cafe of Radiator Springs, four cars raised their mugs of a bubbling liquid that was certainly not moonshine Sheriff, of course not, in a toast before downing the drinks amidst the laughter of their companions. The completely legal beverages hadn't actually come from the V8 cafe, which would normally annoy Flo, but an exception was made this once due to it not being an everyday event for the little town to host four great racing legends. Or rather, three great racing legends and Smokey.
Smokey would perhaps resent this description, never truly having become resigned to his permanently 'plus one' status, but whether fun or depressing a fact's a fact; and the fact was Smokey knew a lot of legends. There was a bright spot to knowing legends and yet not being one yourself however. By having known Scott, Moon, Nash and to a certain extent Doc, as well as; and for as long as he had, meant that he was privy to many graceless and humiliating moments throughout his four younger friends' lives. In other words, Smokey had a real treasure-trove of stories to tell. Particularly about the famed Fabulous Hudson Hornet.
Each story retold was certainly factual, if not overly flattering towards the esteemed judge, doctor and racing expert.
"Wait, you mean to tell me, that Doc, 'our Doc, invented tractor tipping?" Sheriff demanded disbelievingly. "Well, if that's true, I know who'll be helping Mater round up the next lot of escaped tractors."
The old pickup truck, not at all surprised to learn that racing tips hadn't been the only thing his former pupal had passed on, simply nodded.
"Sure did!" River Scott jumped in eagerly. "It was the funniest thing, he was-"
The legend was cut off by the door slamming petulantly open to let in an equally petulant Lightning McQueen followed by a dark blue Hudson Hornet. The former was covered in cactus needles whilst the latter grinned smugly.
"What's got you so prickly?"
The aforementioned smile instantly vanished from Doc's grill leaving a pained grimace in its place. Everyone groaned and Junior Moon shifted to look his friend in the eyes.
"River, remember that talk we had about you trying to be funny?" He asked kindly.
Chastised, River wilted. "...That I'm not funny and I should really stop trying to be because I'm only worth laughing at when things happen to me?"
Smokey, Junior, Louise and Doc all beamed at him approvingly. "You got it."
"But what about that pun about me? That was good."
"River that was over 60 years ago! One humorous pun in more than half a century does not a comedian make."
"Anyway," Smokey chuckled fondly, "that was only funny because it turned out to be wrong."
"I dunno..." Louise mused thoughtfully, "I'm sure if you were to ask her, Doctor Smith would say it's true...from a certain point of view."
River panicked at the mention of his favourite doctor and franticly cast about for a change in subject before his friends decided it was River Scott's turn to lose the shiny, untouchable reputation of a legend – a hero in the racing world. Locking brown eyes on Lightning, he gave an all-knowing smile at the hapless red race car sulkily pulling cactus thorns from his tires. "Ya take a tumble into the tulips, boy?"
Lightning froze. Slowly lifting his disbelieving blue stare up towards River, the young race car shook his hood. "Why does everybody keep calling them that?" He whispered, incredulity personified. "These..." he gestured at the small, innocent looking pile of needles gathered up beside him "...are not tulips! Tulips would not hurt when I landed on them!"
There was a long silence, during which everyone's collective gaze flicked from Lightning, to the needles and back again.
"Well, I'm sure they would if you hit them from high enough." River remarked airily.
"Or if you were going fast enough." Junior added.
"Augh! Forget it!" Lightning stormed past the amused group and headed for the bar, ignoring Doc's disapproving frown. "I need a drink!"
"You can't half tell he's Hud's boy." Louise sent a grin in Lightning's direction then swivelled back to Smokey, a devious twinkle in her eyes. "What say, Smokey? I'm sure you'd find a perfectly willing audience in Doc Jr. over there." She tilted her mug, indicating the young racer who was retreating to brood in a corner.
Doc snapped to sudden attention, focus laser sharp on both his former mentor and onetime crush. "Wait, what do you mean audience? Audience for what?" As it turned out, he was right to be uneasy, as Smokey moved slightly back from the table and tossed back the remnants of his drink. Slamming down his mug and pointedly ignoring Sheriff's eager grab for and prompt examination of the now empty drinking vessel, the orange truck spun about on his wheels and made a beeline for the Hudson Hornet's unwitting protégé.
"Why, your colourful rise to fame." Louise stated as though it was obvious.
Alarmed, Doc sprang in front of Smokey, blocking the old timer's path. "That's really, really not necessary."
Smokey regarded the car that was akin to his little brother with a teasing but wise air. "Of course it's necessary, Hud. That kid is you 60 years ago; and if you're ever to have any hope of training him properly, he needs to be able to relate to you." Gently nudging Doc aside, the pickup truck continued on his way. "Lucky for you, I know just how to help."
"Lucky me." Doc echoed dejectedly.
Sheriff chose that moment to sidle up to his long-time friend and pin him with an accusing glare. "So...Doc...what's this I hear about you, Mater; and tractors?"
"Hey kid!" Smokey greeted cheerily pulling up alongside his protégé's protégé.hm...did that make the boy his grandprotégé? Temporarily dismissing the thought from his mind, the older of the two lifted a tire to imperiously beckon Scott, Moon and Nash over to join them. With a bit of luck, Sheriff would keep Hud distracted long enough for them to get the strengthening of the bond between Lightning and Doc truly underway.
"You guys here to gloat just like Doc does?" Lightning queried pessimistically eyeing the new arrivals.
"Far from it," River explained, giving Lightning's tire a friendly bump with his own, "More like prove Hud's a person."
Lightning blinked.
"That's River's way of explaining what Smokey likes to call 'taking legends down from their impossibly high and unrealistically shiny pedestals'." Junior clarified with relish.
Lightning's interest was tentatively raising its head - "And, just how do you plan on doing that to 'The Fabulous Hudson Hornet'?"
Smokey's, River's, Junior's and Louise's smirks grew impossibly wide.
"Stories." Louise announced simply. "Lots and lots of stories. For instance, did you know it was Hud who renamed cacti, tulips?"
"Well I figured as much," Lightning affirmed, "but, why?"
"He thought if he called them something else then it would hurt less when he, too, went flying into them."
Lightning's blue eyes widened in utter astonishment. "Really?"
Louise and the others all nodded.
He was an avid Shakespeare reader, our Hud," Louise concluded, "and he was obsessed with the idea that if a thing or person went by a different name then it would change the nature of said thing or person."
"What's in a name?" Lightning quoted, grin growing to match his companions'. Oh! This was too priceless for words! Not only had the short anecdote revealed that Doc 'turn right to go left' Hudson had also once been every bit as clumsy as the young rooky he good naturedly made fun of when he crashed into the cactus patch time-after-time, but he had also been a willing reader of Shakespeare!
The red racer didn't know what to start laughing at first, but one thing was for certain, if this was only a small taste of the stories to come, he was going to really enjoy having the three old legends around. And Smokey, too.
Author's note: More is on its way! Please review? Remember what takes you mere minutes took me hours to write. Thanks!
