She's dead.

Killed in action. Just doing her duty, making the world a better place... she stuck her nose too deep in a case and some asshole shot her for it. Guns... the coward's tool. Mary was a strong woman. She was a fighter. But she didn't stand a chance when some Glock pumped three bullets in her heart.

I didn't go to the funeral. Everyone else did... but how could I? I've been through this enough times already. I... I can't see another one get buried.

And here I am... alone again. And all I can ask myself is... why? What terror, what misfortune have I contributed to the world to warrant this? What sick fucking god would hate someone enough to take three women from his life?

Lily. Sulia. I loved them so much. But Mary... Mary was different. She was going to be my wife. She was the one that was finally going to work. She was strong... stronger than the others. She could handle herself. She watched my back, and I watched hers... fucking guns.

I don't know why God hates me. I don't know what His "bigger plan" is. Hell, there probably isn't a god anyway. I don't see how some all-powerful being who "loves us" could be capable of such cruelty. Unless... he relishes in using his power to play with us like dolls, control our lives, our fates, the bonds we forge and the people we lose, like His own personal drama. Yeah... I bet a god COULD be that cruel.

I realize now that my purpose in this world is to lose. My brother... he found happiness. Ryo and Robert did. Hell, even Joe probably will. But not me. I've tried three times now, and this... this one killed me. There was nobody else like her. She completed me. She... she was the one. SHE WAS GOING TO WORK! FUCK THIS! FUCK THIS LIFE! FUCK THAT SADISTIC SON OF A BITCH GOD THAT MANIPULATES ME, CONTROLS MY LIFE LIKE A VIDEOGAME, GIVES AND TAKES AS HE PLEASES! FUCK MY BROTHER AND MAI AND RYO AND ROBERT AND ALL OF THOSE ASSHOLES! WHY DO THEY DESERVE HAPPINESS AND I DON'T?! WHY DO I GET FUCKING SINGLED OUT?! IT'S ALL BULLSHIT! FUCKING BULLSHIT! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!

...Mary's gun. Heh. She probably never fired this thing once. She didn't believe in em'. Cowardly tools, they are. It's still fully loaded. Ah, Mary... you were spectacular. You were special. You... you were the best. I was so happy with you... the happiest I'd ever been in my life. When I was with you, I almost... almost felt hope again...

I'm going to be with Mary now.