Disclaimer: I don't own Ashes to Ashes, I just play with them. This is my first a2a fic. Hope you like.

A huge thank you to CraZyPshyChoLadY my wonderful beta! X

Alex Drake liked to be in control of her life. But in this world, whatever and wherever it is, she wasn't. Shaz, Chris and Ray had all walked into the pub, ready to move on with their lives, but was she?

Molly was gone, or rather she was gone and leaving Molly alone. The life she had lived with Gene Hunt was far more of a life.

Not because she was free of children or because her job was better. But because she could feel. She wanted to stay more than she had wanted anything else in the world.

But he had told her to go. He'd said she'd be happy and she trusted him, because she loved him. That was the only reason she was even going, because he told her to.

One day he would follow, when he was ready. And until that day, Alex didn't believe that she would be happy.

She may laugh, get drunk and have fun. But she could never truly be happy. Not until the Guv walked through the pub door.

When she had kissed him seconds before, they both knew she had to go. But she knew he would come, eventually.

As her hand reached for the door, she looked back one last time before she stepped inside. The warmth that followed from his loving smile took some of the pain away, but it was still there.

She saw Ray, Chris, Shaz, Sam and a woman she assumed to be Annie. They all looked up as she walked into the bar, but they didn't call her over.

Thank God that Shaz knew when she needed to be alone. The lads looked confused, not seeing Shaz's sad smile. Annie also looked puzzled but a knowing smile graced her face all the same.

When she got to the bar she ordered a bottle of wine and went to sit alone in the corner, daring anyone to come near her.

She wasn't aware of Ray carrying her to bed when she was paralytic that night, she missed the concerned looks the team gave her and she missed the other people muttering and laughing behind her back.

But they all knew she was strong, that she would get through the hurt and the loneliness. They all knew that when the Guv walked through the door, they would have their strong DI back. One day.