A/N: just a short oneshot I quickly whipped up.


SECRET HABIT


I was not unaccustomed to the feelings of guilt; in fact I felt the emotion quite often. Tom was my guilty pleasure, my secret self-indulgence that I couldn't give up. He was a sweet tasting narcotic, that I was heavily addicted to and a habit that I really didn't want to kick.

The war had been raging on now well into our twenties, so much for it being over quickly. I had lost my childhood to this pointlessness and now my young adult years where now being consumed by it. The Order of the Phoenix had become hard liner fanatics, Albus Dumbledore kept pushing them to do more and more things that I would seriously question on the moral ground they stood on. To be perfectly honest I have been questioning what the hell we have been fighting for, for all these years. I don't even remember, when both sides have been skirting between light and dark for so long.

I met Tom when I was accidentally captured, or really, I think, left to be captured by the enemy and since have been abandoned. It all conveniently, happened after I had a huge row with Dumbledore about the status of this war and questioning his instructions. I didn't want to be used as a pawn any longer, in a chess game between him and his former brilliant student. But nonetheless I still feel guilt. Part of me feels like I have betrayed my family and friends, since I have gone and fallen in love with the 'enemy'. I roll my eyes at that word, enemy, Dumbledore's nemesis. Really Tom is nothing like what I have been told, he is a young man or at least heck of a lot younger than Dumbledore fighting for things that I thought where reasonable. But I think that Albus needed another adversary, after he killed Grindelwald and found that Tom was the perfect patsy. It certainly was no secret that they didn't get along during Tom's time at Hogwarts.

Naturally we were curious about each other, both studious bookworms and so we bonded with my time in captivity. Shortly after I was released and given the option to leave or stay. It wasn't an easy decision to make, but I felt that perhaps my time with the order was now over and I could protect innocent lives on this side of the fence. Try to minimise the fall out, the irony was that Tom didn't want to take lives but was forced into this situation of kill or be killed. A game of survival.

I was jolted out of my thoughts by Tom rolling over in his sleep, the sheet shifting perilously close to revealing his complete nakedness. Which brought back memories of last night, as I languorously eyed his body in the thin stream of sunlight that protruded through the gap in the blinds.

I felt heated by the thoughts swimming in my brain and my body was becoming hyper aware of the sheet brushing up against my skin. I felt tender between my legs from Tom's rough but thorough attentions. Desire sparked in my lower abdomen as I still kept my eyes trained on him, for any sign that he was awake. I could indulge in a little solo activity to take the edge off this feeling that was building inside of me. That is the height of self-indulgence is it not? With my lover barely a foot away from me and asleep.

Despite my soreness, I closed my eyes. One hand slid down my stomach and dipped between my legs, feeling the slight wetness that was there, it was a tribute to last night's carnal activities. The other hand gently cupping my breast, kneading the heavy flesh stroking upwards to grasp the nipple then receding again. Repeat. Mimicking the actions of my fingers between my legs.

I let out a small almost silent gasp as I rubbed over the small bundle of nerves, resulting in a new flood of burning desire to pool in my lower abdomen.

"Hermione?", a breathless voice broke the deafening silence in the room. I turned my head not stopping my ministrations and looked straight in to the crystal blue eyes of Tom Riddle. I hadn't thought I would get caught, but knew it was a strong possibility. His eyes where darkened with lust and pinkened cheeks, he looked like a man on the edge of control, slightly wild.

"Are you going to join in?", I asked my voice hoarse from all the groaning, panting and pleading that I had done from last night. Instead of reaching out to touch me like I thought that he would, one of his hands dipped below his sheet to fist his own erection. I watched as his hand inflated and deflated the sheet with each movement, his abdominal muscles flexing under the strain of having to remain still. I was slowly lost in the show he was putting on for me that I hadn't realised I had halted my own movements. I closed my eyes briefly to try to reign in my self-control and took a deep breath.

"Love", I felt him whisper in my ear, his tongue skimming along the shell of my ear making me shiver. His hand drew circles around my belly button and then was cupping my own hand between my thighs. His quick movement surprised me but was incredibly arousing. Tom kissed along my neck and every so often changed it up with a small nip until he reached my mouth, which he plundered. I released a long moan when he pushed one of my fingers inside me along with one of his own. I could feel how slick and hot I was for this man looming over me. Without breaking the blistering kiss, he managed to roll us both over until I was sprawled on top of him, which I can imagine a rather undignified sight for me that is.

I had to move both my hands up by his head as I kissed him unabashed and unashamedly ground into his erection that I could feel straining against my most private part.

"Nah ah sweetheart not yet?"

He stilled my hips from rolling against him, I whined. I wanted…god I wanted

One of the hands he had on my stilled hips moved over my buttocks and down until he found my heated centre again and pushed in. It was like torture, the slow lazy pace that he set, like he had all the time in the world. I couldn't take this for a second longer. So, I pushed back against his hand, indicating I wanted harder and faster.

"Please? Tom please…I need", but I couldn't get the words out as his glorious fingers twisted inside me so deliciously. Those damn fingers that brought me such pleasure but also killed people. I loved watching those fingers manipulate his wand, turning the pages of a book, undoing the buttons of his shirt…I've fantasised about those long beautiful fingers that are now fucking me harder as I grow noisy and erratic. He was just so damn good with those fingers; he was relentless and ruthless in his quest to make me come apart above him.

Somehow this morning turned out completely different then I had imagined it would. It was only supposed to provide a tension relief, to take the edge off then maybe relax and go back to sleep. But as always Tom was an overachiever, always putting extra effort in especially where our bedroom activities were concerned. This was a reminder albeit a pleasant one.

He pushed me up off his chest and moved me slightly forward so he could bring a nipple to his mouth and sucked hard then slowly flicking his tongue soothingly over it. While simultaneously adding another digit to his onslaught stretching me, making me burn in a good way. If it were possible, I think I was wetter, if those noises his fingers were making sliding in and out of me where any indication. I bucked into his erection rubbing my juices over it as he slid in between my lips just in a different way than usual.

His breathing became ragged, this was just as pleasant for him as it was for me. I felt absolutely wanton, unrestrained pleasure bleeding out of every breathy moan and sharp intake of breath. We were so far down the road of lust and pleasure that I don't think either of us could stop what we were doing. We moved in tandem, him licking my nipples, while I bared down on him rocking against his erection, so the tip gently nudged my clit deliciously. He growled and urged me on, thrusting his fingers faster, crooking them and pressing them hard inside that caused a ripple of pleasure to burst through me.

What surprised me was the low guttural moan that Tom released and then the hot sticky mess that spurted up in between our bodies. I had never seen him orgasm from just satisfying me. I felt a smug thrill well up inside of me.

"Tom…did you?", I smiled down at him and he had a look of embarrassment on his face that was short lived.

"Don't worry love I have plans for later", a flick of his wrist and we were cleaned up from the mess. He pulled me into him, draping himself over me from behind, nuzzling my hair and placing gentle kisses. I snuggled back into him, enjoying the cuddles he was offering.

Yes, this feeling was addictive and I never wanted to stop feeling it.