It's been a very long night and Gaby found that it was one she would go without sleep once more. She woke up from a nightmare where she witnessed her father being shot in front of her, then Napoleon and then Illya. A single tear fell down her face, the dream had seemed so real and her whole body was tense.
It was too much for her to bear, how could her life ever turn out like that? She wondered almost every day, how her simple mechanic girl life took a turn for such a dramatic and dangerous life of a spy? She was scared, and she hated herself for it.
She looked to her right, the room was quiet except for the low breathing of her partner. Illya and her were still sharing the same room, after the mission Waverly decided to give the three of them a little break before the next mission to heal from their wounds, physical and psychological, and they stayed in Rome. The room was dim and the only light was the one that found their way from the street to the room, Gaby watched her partner's chest rise and fall with each breath.
She never admitted it, but she liked to watch Illya sleep. It was one of the few times where his serious face melted away and she saw a more serene expression. She also never admitted it, but she felt ashamed. Ashamed of "betraying" him and Solo, and putting both in such grave danger, and even if neither of them seemed to hold it against her she still blamed herself from the injuries the mission had carved in their skins.
She decided to get up, maybe if she drank something sleep would come easier. She made her way to the drink cabinet, but stopped herself when she looked out of the window and saw it was raining. She used to love the rain, but now it reminded her of the events from a few days ago, when the three of them almost perished for the good of stopping a madman and his wife from starting another nuclear war.
She watched the window for a few moments, hearing the little droplets of water roll down the glass and then she decided to go outside, only stopping to put her shoes on she made her way to the reception. There was only one person behind the counter who greeted her and wished her a good night to which she politely responded.
It was pouring outside. She used to like the rain, her stepfather once told her rain washes everything away and that it was a symbol of a new beginning, she stepped out of the covers from the front door and felt the rain drench her hair, her clothes and her skin.
She found herself crying, never before she wanted more to have her father or anyone there with her, she felt so terribly lonely. She tried to do everything right, she hoped that after she got to the other side of the wall she would be able to be free, that this was only one mission and she would have a new life with her father, but she found that she only got behind another wall, and this one wouldn't be easy to cross.
"What are you doing?" A rough voice called behind her, she didn't have to turn to know it was Illya.
"Getting some air." She tried to respond in her most neutral voice. She hoped her voice didn't give away the fact that she was crying.
"Couldn't get it inside?" He asked, still not moving from his spot close to the door.
She didn't respond. She didn't know what to say to the Russian, she didn't want him to see her crying, she didn't deserve any feelings from him.
"Are you really going to make me get wet?" He asked after a few moments in silence.
"How did you know I was here anyway?" She asked, trying to pretend to be angry in hope to drive him away, she found her voice too shaky to be effective.
"Woke up, you were not there." He said simply. "Lobby boy told me you were out here."
She silently cursed the man in the counter, and then herself for going out there in the first place, what would Illya think of her now? She didn't want to force him to have pity on her, she just really needed some space and some time to cry and not have him hear, great job she was doing.
"Yeah well, you found me." She raised her arms slightly, quickly dropping them down "Now what?" She continued trying the angry approach.
"Now I take you back in, before you catch a cold." He responded.
Once again she didn't respond, she tried her best to stop her tears but didn't want to wipe them away or he would know she was crying. She heard him approach slowly and watched him stop from the corner of her eye. He was barefooted and still had bed hair and pajamas on.
"Where are your shoes?" She asked, feeling another wave of tears fill her eyes as she heard him answer:
"Was too worried to look for them."
She dropped her head and saw him make his way to face her. She didn't want to lift her face, she didn't deserve any of what the Russian was doing for her, she didn't deserve his forgiveness and tenderness, but before she could protest he cupped her cheeks in his hands and gently lifted her face, eyes locked into hers. He didn't say anything, simply wiped away the trail of tears from her cheeks with his thumbs and gave her one of his sweetest smile.
He then lowered his hands and reached for her left one, stopping for a second to make sure it was ok with her if he held it, when she grabbed his fingers he proceeded to hold her hand a little tighter and guide her back to the room, handing her a towel and one of his turtle neck sweaters since her only night clothes were now soaked.
"Good night little chop shop girl." He said with a low voice.
"Good night Illya." She responded, and even if it took long and she was still up and crying long after she heard his steady breathing again her eyes started to get heavier with each blink and she finally drifted off to sleep.
The next morning Gaby wasn't feeling very well, she hoped it would only be the exhaustion from crying so much and decided to sleep until 10 a.m., but when she felt a strong hand gently shake her shoulder and call her name she felt the need to open her eyes, and had to fight the smile she wanted to give him. She felt fuzzy and the Russian's eyes were not the only reason for her light head, her body ached as well and she felt her skin was warm.
"Gaby, are you all right?" Illya asked, his tone indicated she might have looked as bad as she felt.
"Yes. Good morning by the way." She answered in a sluggish voice, she also noticed how dry her throat was.
As she got up to try and pass off as alright, she felt her back hurt and a little numbness in her whole body. Now she really felt stupid, besides showing such a weak state in front of her partner last night she also let herself get sick.
"Morning. It's almost noon, соня." Illya rolled his eyes slightly with a small smile playing in his lips.
Before Gaby could respond with another sarcastic comment Solo entered the room, Gaby learned that even in the mornings the American would always look his best. Solo eyed her up and down and she followed his example, she had completely forgot she was wearing Illya's clothes and tried to hide her embarrassment, she thanked the heavens the sweater was big enough to cover her down to half pf her tights.
"Good morning." Solo shot her one of his most jokingly smiles, "And maybe you had a… Good night also?" His eyes swept the room quickly and found Gaby's pajamas on the floor.
"It is not like that." Illya responded quickly.
"Sure it's not." Solo sat down at the couch and dropped the issue when he saw Gaby was too flustered to reply, he knew that nothing had happened, but that didn't stop him from having a little fun. "Anyway, it's a lovely day and I was hoping to go shopping for the next mission with you two love birds."
Gaby considered her options and wanted to say yes despite her feeling sick, but she hesitated. She was still pondering about her feelings from yesterday and decided she still wasn't much worth the friendship and the connection Solo was probably trying to create.
"I think I'll stay here for the day, relax a little." She said finally, looking down.
Illya glanced at her and then at Solo who looked a little puzzled. The American was still trying to put all the pieces together and trying to figure out the meaning of the look Illya gave Gaby, and why she was truly wearing his clothing's.
"Well, there's a lot to do in Rome if you don't want to shop for clothes." He thought for a minute, "There's the Grand Prix in Campagnano di Roma." He said with a smile when he saw he captured Gaby's attention and she seemed to consider the idea for a moment.
"No, you two should go." She denied again with a somewhat painful expression. "Don't worry about me, I'm fine." She quickly interrupted Illya when she saw he was about to say something.
When she made sure they wouldn't ask her anymore she said she needed to freshen up and they should get going. She closed the bathroom door and walked up to the sink to wash her face and look more presentable, her hair was a mess from sleeping with it wet and her skin was pale. She took a bath and checked to see if her partners had left, when she had no sign of them she dressed the turtleneck again and went back to bed.
She knew she couldn't keep acting that way and she should get used to the idea the three of them would be spending more time together now that they were a team, but she would leave that for future Gaby. Right now she just appreciated the smell of Illya's shirt, and decided to sleep some more and wait until her headache and fever went down.
"Gaby is acting somewhat distant these days." Solo tough out loud, breaking the silence between him and Illya. "Don't you agree, Peril?"
Illya had not said a word to Napoleon about what happened last night, he didn't feel like it was his place to tell even if he thought the American was more capable of dealing with feelings and such (not that he would ever admit that). He only hummed in response, still looking straight.
"And I was so looking forward to 'getting lost' and leaving the two of you alone" He said making quotations marks with his fingers and shooting another one of his smiles.
"Что?" Illya glared at him, though both kept walking down the street, Illya was now wondering where both of them were going since Napoleon was leading the way and Illya had been too distracted to question.
"Ah, he can speak." Napoleon's grin grew wider.
"What are you on about?" The Russian rolled his eyes as his calm expression set in again.
"Well, the fact that both of you definitely have feelings for each other and clearly are not going to do anything about it makes me feel like the responsibility to make something happen falls before me." Napoleon finally stopped and pointed to the sign of the little shop they were in front of. It was a pastry shop and Illya could smell the fresh baked goods from the inside.
"What are we doing here?" Illya asked, deciding to ignore Solo comment on how inefficient his methods were.
"Well, Gaby's clearly going through something and you know about it." He raised his arms in a defensive pose when Illya shot another one of his icy glares. "I just think you should bring something to her, cheer her up a bit. And sweets are always a good option."
Illya considered for a second, she did seem to be down in the morning and her eyes were still swollen from crying. He didn't wanted to leave her alone, he was sure the events from the last few days and the fact she just lost her father were taking it's toll on her and he gave her space, but his chest was heavy and all he wanted was to hold her and tell her he was there and everything was fine yesterday.
"Ладно"
Gaby's whole body was trembling and she was sweating cold. She cursed herself under her breath and gathered the blankets closer to her warm body, her stomach wasn't helping much either since she hadn't eaten anything since dinner. She wished someone would be there, the last time she could remember having a cold she had her step father to look after her, now she was alone.
"Ich bin so ein idiot" She muttered under her breath. Of course she was alone, she had turned everyone away, why would they be there for her now?
She was surprised when the door swung open, and even more surprised to see Illya holding a box with a bakery logo at the side. They stayed like that for a few moments, Illya looking at her and noticing she was still wearing his shirt and Gaby looking at him trying to figure out why he had a box of pastries.
He made the first to move, sitting at the corner of the bed and putting down the box in front of her, scratching the back of his neck.
"Cowboy suggested I bring these." He said looking a bit embarrassed, she was glad he didn't make any comments about the shirt.
"Where is he?" She asked reaching for the contents of the box, she decided to start with a cannoli. The box was full of other desserts, cookies, small cakes and others Gaby couldn't even recognize.
"Off with some woman." He seemed more relieved when she started to eat the small pastry, he decided to try one as well. "Said something about an art museum."
Gaby couldn't help but smile a bit, of course the womanizer wouldn't lose time and would go off looking for another woman to sleep with. Though she mentally thanked him for giving the idea of bringing her food.
"Never had anything so sweet." She looked at Illya as he put down the little pastry he was eating with a not so satisfied look on his face.
"Not a fan of Zeppole?" She asked, taking another bite of her cannoli.
"It's not that, it's just been long since I ate sweets." His words wondered off a little, he was truly trying to remember the last time he ate a cake, or any type of sweet thing, but the only memory to come to mind was small boxes of chocolate or Turkish delights from his childhood.
"Well, I love them. Thank you."
"Your welcome-" He was interrupted by her sudden coughing fit.
Illya worryingly rested a hand on her back, and one on her neck.
"You're burning up." He said when she stopped coughing.
"Your hands are just cold." She held his hand on hers, tilting her head to the side and giving him an unpreoccupied smile.
He considered what she said for a second and pulled his hand from hers. Cupping her cheeks with both of his hands and pulling her head towards him gently, he placed a kiss on her forehead. She closed her eyes with his touch, his cold hands were a relieve in her warm skin, they were also so delicate while holding her. She felt his soft lips leave her skin wishing for more. When she opened her eyes she was staring at his ice blue ones. How could everything about him be associated with cold, when everything about him was so warm? How could he be seen by others as a terrifying and killing machine when he was so much more than that?
"You have fever." He said, still holding her cheeks making small circles with his left hand. She reached for his hands, holding them with hers again.
"I guess I have a cold." She said breaking contact with his hypnotizing eyes and focusing on their hands instead.
"Why did you not say anything?"
She doesn't respond. 'Because I don't deserve you,' she wishes to say, 'Because I left myself care too much for you, to love you.' All those answers run through her mind, but it was still her fault he was in danger, it was her fault he was hurt.
"Gaby." She looked up again and locked her eyes on his. He showed such a puzzled look, as if he was trying to figure out what he did wrong, trying to read her and to understand how he could help. "Did you think we would not care?"
"It's not that," In some way, it was. "I just didn't want to worry you with such a small thing."
"It is not small." He tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Not for me."
He looked so sincere, his words ringed with truth and before she knew she was leaning closer. She focused on his lips and realized he was also leaning in, closing her eyes she tasted his sweet lips with hers. The kiss was delicate, she pulled closer to feel his warm skin in hers, he didn't pull back and Gaby was happy he didn't, she wanted him close and to feel his wonderful scent. When their lips parted he still had his hand on her cheek and she leaned her forehead on his.
This was fine, more than fine. Maybe he did wanted to be with her, her overthinking mind had played so many tricks on her that she had forgotten they had so many almost kisses for her feeling not to be reciprocate. She noticed it had started to rain, the noise of thunder and water was relaxing and she had decided she once again loved the rain.
"I should buy medicine for you chop shop girl." Illya finally broke the silence, he didn't looked like he wanted to leave her again, but he was still worried about her fever. When he started to get up she quickly grabbed his hand, holding him in his place.
"Stay." She said simply, to which he complied.
They both stayed together, she curled up close to his chest and used one of his arms as a pillow while he hugged her with the other and they both stayed listening to the rain until they both fell asleep.
So this is it! My first Man from U.N.C.L.E fanfic. I fell in love with the movie since the first time I saw it, but I recently found that I wasn't the only one in the fandom and there were a lot of writers and I was like "What the hell, I'll write one too!" and I simply love Gallya :3
Here's the translation for the Russian and German words (Thank you, Antea Vader for the Russian translations):
соня: Sleepyhead
Что?: What?
Ладно: Fine
Ich bin so ein idiot: I'm such an idiot
