Author's Note: Although I'm not a fan of Elizabeth; I'm not going to villainize her in this story either. Also I'm not saying she'll be in this story a lot, but I'm not sure on how much she'll show up just yet either. Furthermore I didn't care for how Sonny acted during Sam's pregnancy, so I'm going to tone it down a little bit for my sake. This is a rewrite of what happened so please be kind to me.
When the doctor came out Jason knew that the baby was gone without being told. His heart ached for the little girl who would never see her first birthday, go to school, grow up, get married, or have children of her own. Jason stood there as the doctor said something to him, but Jason couldn't hear the words only saw the man's mouth moving. It was like all the sound had been sucked out of the room.
"Would you like to hold her?" Dr Ryan asked as sound came rushing back in all at once for Jason.
"Could I hold her skin to skin?" Jason questioned wanting her to feel his heart next to her; believing her spirit would feel him there.
"Of course," Dr Ryan agreed as he motioned for a nurse.
The nurse took Jason getting him a front opening gown; which Jason changed into before they headed back to the room.
"Take a seat," the nurse motioned to the chair.
As he eased into the chair he watched the nurse pick up Lila with care; then she turned to him gently placing this tiny little thing on his chest. Then the nurse left him to have some time alone to say his goodbyes. Jason hadn't expected her to be as small and fragile looking as she did. The cool temperature of her body was a bit surprising as he sat there; as he was trying his best to memorize her features to tell Sam later on.
"You're mom and I love you so much. We had so many plans for your life," Jason whispered softly as he kissed the top of Lila's head.
Feeling the tears in his eyes Jason tried to blink them back because this would be the last time he would hold her like this. Part of him wished they had taken the wires off before he had came in; that wasn't the way he wanted to remember her when everything was said and done.
"You don't know this, but your mom is really strong. She's stronger than she thinks... I promise I'm going to get her through this," Jason again kissed the top of Lila's head as a tear finally escaped his eye.
There were things Jason still didn't understand; yet this just seemed cruel that this was happening. For a second Jason thought he felt something brush against his chest, but he thought it was just his mind playing tricks on him. Nothing more than wishful thinking that wouldn't help him or Sam. Then Suddenly all these alarms started going off all at once, and Elizabeth came rushing into the room completely wide eyed. Elizabeth checked and rechecked the machines before glancing at Jason who didn't know what was going on. Again he felt something moving against his chest, and he glanced down to see the ever so slight movement. Lila was moving her little hand.
"Did you see?" Jason asked Elizabeth.
"She is breathing... She has a heart rate... I'll be right back with the doctor" Elizabeth replied surprised by what was going on and left Jason after turning the alarms off.
"You do your part and I'll do my part I promise," Jason whispered as he watched the monitors closely.
The waiting for the doctor seemed to take forever to Jason; as he held onto his little girl willing her to stay with him. Somehow she had come back to him and Sam from death, but he knew that the odds were stacked against little Lila. When the doctor came in he came over checking Lila out first, and then checked out the monitors looking perplexed at what he saw.
"This is unexplainable... I'm just amazed by her will to fight because we couldn't detect a heartbeat or breath before," Dr. Ryan mused as he looked to Jason.
"Are you willing to match her in that? She doesn't need someone who won't fight with her," Jason stated firmly.
"I will do everything within my power to see she goes home healthy. My grandmother said never say quit. So if this little girl is willing; I'm right behind her, you, and her mom," Dr. Ryan promised Jason.
"Her first name is Lila. She was named after a woman who knew how to fight," Jason explained softly as he eyed the doctor.
"My first name Xander," Xander introduced himself to Lila and Jason.
"What happens now?" Jason asked wanting to know.
"I want to keep Lila where she is for a while longer. Then in a little while I want to get her to the NICU. You're instincts brought her back, and we want to continue this skin to skin contact every day. Although Lila is less than two pounds; she is breathing on her own. Her heart rate is pretty good for her size. Skin to skin contact or Kangaroo Care isn't a new thing in treating preemies. It helps them acclimate to the new world around them; when they aren't just ready to be out here with us. That connection helps them feel safe," Xander explained to Jason.
"How's Sam?" Jason asked worried about her.
"Sam is sleeping comfortably because we gave her something to sleep for a bit. I'm expecting her to make a full recovery, but I want her to get some much needed rest. Try to rest as well because both your girls need you," Xander answered him.
"Alright," Jason told him.
"I'm going to leave Nurse Webber here, and I'll be back after while to transfer Lila," Xander smiled as he stood to his feet, and then left Jason and Lila in Elizabeth's care.
Slowly walking over Elizabeth took a seat next to Jason; she was amazed at the man before her.
"You got a daddy's girl on your hand," Elizabeth stated knowing Lila would have Jason wrapped around her little finger.
"Other than Michael I've never loved anyone so much," Jason admitted to his friend.
"It's not like loving anyone else, and no one else understands how deep it is. Only another parent understands it, " Elizabeth mused as she looked from Jason to Lila.
"This is going to be a uphill fight... I know that much I do," Jason sighed not wanting to think of possibly feeling that loss again.
"She is one tough little cookie, so just hang in there with her," Elizabeth stated more than questioned.
After Jason went with Lila to the NICU making sure she was settled; he headed to Sam's room even though she was still sleeping from the medications. He went over to her bedside taking a seat next to her, and took her delicate hand into his holding onto her. It was a relief that he wouldn't have to tell her that her daughter was gone. Instead he would get to let her know that Lila was hanging in there like a champ. Gently Jason brought her hand to his lips kissing it; then he heard a knock on the door making him look. There in the doorway stood Sonny, so Jason put Sam's hand back on the bed. Getting up Jason joined Sonny outside the room closing the door behind him.
"I wanted to check on Sam," Sonny stammered with tears in his eyes.
"Sam is resting right now, and the doctor gave her something," Jason replied in a whisper.
"Maybe I should tell her," Sonny suggested as his heart broke for their loss.
"Lila is in the NICU; she came back," Jason told him.
"No, they said she died," Sonny shook his head.
"Somehow she came back... I was holding her when it happened about an hour ago, and once she was stable enough they took her to the NICU," Jason explained to him.
"I want to see her," Sonny said as he started to leave.
"They won't let you right now; I was sent out for the time being," Jason caught up to Sonny stopping him.
"Why?" Sonny demanded eyeing Jason.
"Because they are running test, and there are other things I didn't understand. Right now, it's about Lila's best interest not ours," Jason tried to explain to him.
"Lila? Why do you keep calling my daughter that?" Sonny questioned him.
"Sam chose that name for her daughter before she was even born," Jason answered him honestly.
"I'm sorry... Everything is so much right now. Kristina is so sick, and the baby is not great," Sonny sighed with exhaustion in his voice.
"We are all doing the best we can right now. Take a really deep breath, and lean on those around you. Don't cut Carly out of the picture," Jason advised his friend and brother.
"I know... Maybe I should give her a call," Sonny agreed as he turned and walked away the other way.
Going back into Sam's room Jason took his place next her bed; then he pulled Lila's ring out of his pocket that belong to the original. Carefully picking up Sam's hand he slipped the ring into place where it belonged. "Perfect," Came Sam's voice weakly making Jason look to see her eyes open.
"She's here. Tiny little fighter, but she's here," Jason whispered softly.
"Where?" Sam asked extremely tired.
"Lila needs special care, so they have her in the NICU," Jason admitted reluctantly.
Unable to stay awake Sam closed her eyes falling back into a dreamless sleep; as she worried about her little girl who was out of reach as she was fighting for her life.
Hours went by as Jason went from Sam to Lila and back again. As he took his place next to Sam once again; he took her by the hand placing it against his cheek. Her color had improved since he had first seen her after surgery. Both of his girls were doing pretty good, but Lila had a longer road than Sam did. With his other hand Jason reached out stroking Sam's cheek tenderly.
"Jason," Sam mumbled as she opened her eyes.
"Hi," Jason replied in an almost whisper.
"How is she?" Sam asked as she looked to Jason.
"She's hanging in there," Jason answered her.
"I want to see her," Sam said with determination.
"I thought you would, but right now you have to stay in bed. However I got pictures," Jason pulled out some polaroids a nurse took for him and handed them to Sam to see.
"She's so small," Sam teared up looking at her daughter.
"She's seventeen inches long, and she weighs one pound and four ounces. Yet Lila is this tough little girl who is just like her mommy. No one better count her out ever," Jason said as he leaned over giving Sam a gentle kiss on the lips.
Then they heard a knock at the door causing them both to look to see Carly come in the room.
"I brought you guys some food from Kelly's, clothes, books, and other stuff. No one can really do anything really for you two, but I knew this was one thing I could do for you both," Carly rambled as she held out a few bags from Kelly's and a gym bag that seemed stuffed.
"Thank you," Jason smiled as he went over taking the stuff putting over on the couch in the room.
"Jason, you're my best friend, and I'm going to really try. Part of me doesn't think you know how much you love Sam and the baby. I'm going to be there for you and Sam both," Carly teared up came over to Jason and kissed him on the cheek.
"Carly," Jason started to say.
"That's Lila's ring," Carly stopped in her tracks as she spotted the ring on Sam's hand.
"Lila wanted Sam to have it before she died, but it took me a little longer to get there," Jason explained to his best friend.
"Wow, I knew I did. How long," Carly asked in awe.
"Just a few weeks... We just wanted to get use to the ideal first," Jason answered her honestly.
"I might not like that I'm not the only woman in your life, but I will stand by you like you have stood by me every time," Carly shrugged a little as she congratulated him in her own way.
"Sam really needs some rest, and I need to go check on the baby," Jason said eyeing Carly.
"I'll be back soon," Carly promised as she left them on their own.
"Wow," Sam said as she was shocked by what had just happened.
"How about we get some food in you?" Jason asked as he went and grabbed the food.
"Yes, please," Sam replied as she was starving.
