Megamind is owned by Dreamworks. And probably some other people.
Possibly OOC. I have seen this movie once and that was a while ago. This idea was actually something I thought up before I saw it and it's only been altered a little since.
"Hello, you have reached-"
"Megamind. It's me. Pick up already."
"If you wish to-"
"Megamind!"
"Roxanne! How nice of you to call."
"Look, about next week, you know that evil scheme you planned?"
"Next week? Of course! I was actually hoping to unveil my new death ray! It still has a few kinks in it of course. Pulls to the left just a tad. Plus the victim's remains tend to turn this off-orange color. But I'm sure that-"
"I can't make it."
"You-... Why?"
"One of my cousins is getting married next week. So I'm going to be out of town then."
"She's getting married. Next week. And you're just finding out now? That seems rather rude."
"No, it's my fault. I got the dates mixed up."
"Wait, this isn't the cousin who just got a divorce last month is it?"
"No, you're thinking of Stephanie. Teresa's getting married."
"Teresa... Have I met her before?"
"Maybe? I know she was in your prison for a while."
"Oh! Is she the one who burned down her boyfriend's house?"
"Yep. That's the one."
"I remember her now. Nice girl. Glad to hear she's doing well. Be sure to tell her I said congratulations."
"Don't worry. I'll make sure she gets the message."
"Thank you- Waitwaitwait! We are getting completely off track! You can't just cancel like this!"
"I talked to Metro Man already. He said it's fine with him as long as you're okay with it."
"...of course you called him first..."
"What was that?"
"Nothing!"
"Uh-huh. Sure."
"My plan hinges on there being a hostage! Where am I supposed to find one on short notice!"
"Can't you just grab someone?"
"No! These things take planning! Otherwise you go to kidnap them only to find out that they're in a self-defense class!"
"Speaking from experience?"
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Look. What if I find you another hostage? Would that help?"
"It might. Who did you have in mind?"
"What about the weather girl?"
"I don't know... Isn't she pregnant?"
"Well, yeah, but she isn't that far along yet. Really all the hostage has to do is sit in the chair- Now that I'm thinking about it did you ever fix that wobbly leg?"
"No. It adds to the torment. And that's not the point! It's just... unborn baby... death ray... That is a whole level I do not want to deal with!"
"Oh. Yeah I see your point."
"So you see. This is why you-"
"Wait a second. You're going on about being prepared and you don't have a back-up hostage?"
"I didn't think one was necessary! You used to be very reliable!"
"Alright. Just for that crack you can find your own hostage. I'm going to the wedding.
"Fine. I suppose this will give me a chance to work on my new death trap. You see, it uses copper-"
"Right. Copper. And if that doesn't work you can blind him with pictures of me in the bridesmaid dress."
"You're going to be a bridesmaid!? Well, why didn't you say so sooner? I want pictures when you come back."
"Don't worry. I'll save you a copy."
"Thank you. Now, it's been lovely talking to you but I'm afraid I have to go. Evil doesn't plot itself you know."
"Alright. Alright. See you in two weeks."
