Author's Note: Because Igor can hardly be the only immortal/divine being in Persona, after all, Nyx and Erebus excluded. How long is this going to be? Not sure yet.

Summary: Igor really should've checked out the protagonist's family history. "You have 10 seconds to run." "Old friend, whatever is the matter?" "Why is my descendant's name on this particular contract?" In which MC is Fate's descendant aka family. Igor, you really should have consulted other people first. P3P verse. Humor, crack, parody.


"IGOR! A word. Now." Demanded a voice that he had not heard in decades.

The eccentric man raised an eyebrow, wondering what would have brought her here from her duties. It was completely uncharacteristic of her to do this. Receiving a questioning look from his assistant, Igor gave a nod in assent. It was not even a minute until Theodore returned, his old friend Fate behind closely behind.

"It has been awhile, old friend," Igor greeted.

"Cut the crap, Igor," huffed Fate as she glared at him annoyance. "You have 10 seconds to run."

He blinked. What had he done? He hadn't done anything…had he?

"Whatever is the matter?"

"You don't know?" asked Fate disbelievingly. "Are you kidding me? You – ugh!"

…did her glare just increase in intensity?

Briefly, he wondered where his assistants were. Fate was scary when she was angry.

Right, Elizabeth was on an errand and Theodore…where was Theodore?

….that traitorous assistant.

Apparently, it was only him and his friend.

In the room.

Igor made a silent vow to get revenge on his apprentice.

"Can you please explain," Fate said, a very sweet smile on her face promising utter hell if his explanation didn't satisfy her. "Why my descendant's name is on this particular contract?" A piece of very familiar paper was in her hand.

Wait.

What?

The old man stared at his friend as his mind slowly digested the words.

Oh.

OH.

He was completely doomed.

"Well?" The intensity of her smile increased to dangerous levels, now.

And Igor, owner of the Velvet Room, millennia-old immortal, whimpered.