Prologue

The Now

God gives and God takes away

Desperation isn't new to me. The feeling used to haunt me some time ago, before I knew the life I live today. Every time I woke up alone wondering if the breaking day would be my last or my penultimate, or if I'd need to live some more with this consuming uncertainty about my future. There were people in my life, of course; living, human beings; people who respected me; but no one I could call a family. Nobody who would have really cared if I'd just faded away some day. Noticed, yes; but not cared. But everything changed when she came into my life. I got so much more than someone to keep me warm at night. She gave me shelter, a family and a second chance. She is with me and everything is perfect - our own kind of perfect. She is my all, everything I need. The reason why I went through so many complications. After all this time I can't imagine my life without her.

But I feel I'm losing her slowly.

And my sanity along with her.