There are many reasons why a person may be forced to move house. A common reason is that recurring floods persistently ruin your carpets and floorboards, leaving behind horrid stains and lingering smells. Or perhaps a frequently active hurricane persists in blowing off your roof. Or maybe your house is unfortunately perched on the edge of a receding cliff which leads to a thousand-foot fall into the sea. I don't know if you have ever been force to move house in any of these unfortunate ways, but I imagine that it would be an extremely unpleasant experience. The Baudelair children were forced to move house a great number of times, and so would be able to give you a reliable account of the stress involved in such relocation. But I'm sure you won't need the advice, since your house is probably fine and in no danger of destruction, may it be from flooding, hurricanes, treacherous – a word here which means 'very dangerous' cliffs and, of course, fire. So since you're safe, and you have no need to move house, I'll begin our story.

But a little quirk pops up here, because on this particular occasion, moving house was exactly what the unlucky Baudelair children were doing.

"So," Mr poe said from the front seat of his automobile. "After the horrible outcome of the stay at your previous relative's house, I have made thoroughly sure that the next guardian you stay with, will-" he suddenly held his handkerchief to his mouth and erupted in a fit of coughing, before finally regaining his senses and continuing, "er next– yes – um guardian – will look after you in the finest way possible."

The Baudelairs were doubtful of this since everything Mr Poe reassured them about seemed to, in one way or another, attempt to take their lives.

"Who is it?" Violet asked. "Who will be our next guardian?"

"Ah," Mr Poe said, glancing into the mirror so he could meet Violet's eyes. "She is a distant relative. A little old but well travelled. That means – she has visited many countries in her lifetime and therefore has a great knowledge of the world."

"Yes," Klaus said, somewhat irritably. "We know what travelled means."

"Nidop!" Sunny said, which seemed to mean, 'what is this woman's name?'

"Mr poe," said Violet. "Sunny would like to know of this woman's name. Could you tell us?"

After another fit of coughing in which he took his eyes off the road and the children became slightly worried that he was going to crash, Mr Poe said, "Why certainly. Her name is Mrs Lamfare, and – Look children." Klaus could see Mr Poe smiling from the mirror. "Here we are," he said, and he brought the car to a neat stop.

As the engine switched off with a short judder, the Baudelairs opened the car door and stepped out onto the pavement. They looked up at the building before them, which they had expected would at least resemble - a word here which means 'look similar to' a house. But to the children's surprise, the building looked nothing like a house. It didn't even resemble a block of flats. Or even a palace. Or even a tower. What it did resemble, was a very large boot.