Hey guys, so another fanfic! :) Enjoy!
Arwen4eva xxx
What have I done? How could I do this to him, the man I deeply love?
Here I am now, standing in the council chambers, a guard on each side of me, my friends to my right and other members of the court to the left, and to the front; Agravaine. I know Agravaine. He will do what he can to get rid of me, he has never liked the fact that Arthur had fallen in love with a serving girl. The fact he was to marry a serving girl. It's as if his prayers have been answered. It doesn't look like there will a wedding tomorrow after all.
Footsteps are heard in the corridor and with a simple nod of Agravaine's head, the guards shove me to my knees. The doors open and Arthur walks in.
He walks to the end of the room not turning around.
"You will leave please." The guards turn to leave. "All of you, now." I look up to Elyan.
The face that glances at me is not the Elyan I know, it is a man who is appalled by the actions of someone he cares for. That person is me. I doubt he will say final farewells to me. I know the laws of Camelot. I fear I am doomed to die.
Everyone has left the room and it is just Arthur and I. Salty tears are beginning to fall down my cheeks again, just like they did in the cells not 5 minutes ago. Arthur turns and begins to circle me. I bite back a sob.
"What are you still doing on your knees? Am I just your King? Get up for goodness sake." Obediantly, I fulfil his request. "I was to be, your husband."
Was to be your husband. Was. I don't believe there will any forgiveness as the outcome of what is occurring. Reluctantly, Arthur meets his eyes with mine.
"What happened Guinevere?" I remain silent trying to hold back tears. I know it pains Arthur to see me like this and I have to try and remain strong.
"We were happy. I know we were happy." I nod. "You felt it too?" I nod again holding back more tears. Of course I felt the happiness between us. Why would he have to ask such a question? Oh, right. "You love him? You've always loved him?" What?
"No!" I respond immediately.
"All those times you said you wanted to be with me."
"I meant every word." This is killing me, worst of all. I know it is killing him too. How could he ever doubt my feelings for him?
"Tomorrow was our wedding day." There it is again, that horrible word. Was.
"I know." Tears are now flowing freely down my face. There is no point holding them back. Arthur is angry, that isn't going to change.
"If you had worries."
"I wasn't worried." Why on earth would I be worried?
"If you had doubts."
"I didn't have any doubts." I could never have any doubts!
"Then forgive me because I must be really stupid. WHAT WERE YOU DOING?!" Arthur screams at me, his firm hands clinging to my feeble arms shaking me. His hands dig into my flesh, hurting me a lot. But, I deserve it. I know I deserve it. "Sorry." he says as he walks back. I rub my arms.
"No. No, It is I who should be sorry. You mean everything to me Arthur." I decide that now is the best time to tell him. He deserves to know about mine and Lancelot's past together.
"Once there was Lancelot." I begin. Arthur tenses up at his name. "A long time ago. I thought he was dead, I thought I would never see him again. And then ...when I did I was overwhelmed. I was drawn to him, I couldn't stop myself I don't know why. I love you! You mean everything to me." I am unsure on what else to say. Then it slips past my lips.
"All these years I've waited for you."
"You only had to wait one more day." I take in a deep breath. I go to my heart for guidance on what I say next.
"All I have ever wanted I'd to be your queen." I hesitate. "I still want to be your queen." Arthur looks at me in what I see as despair, it's in his eyes. But Arthur doesn't show any emotion.
"Do you know what they're saying?" he says pointing to the door. I shake my head. I don't want to know. "That in my fathers day, you'd be put to death."
Would he? Would Arthur - my Arthur - sentence me to death. When he is angry, he could do anything. I take in another deep breath.
"I don't want to see you dead Guinevere." Thank goodness. "But I don't want to see you. I cannot look on you everyday." No. "You will leave Camelot at first light."
"Arthur." I say trying to interrupt but it has not effect.
"Your return on pain of death."
" No." This cannot be happening. Arthur begins to walk to the door. "No. No, I cannot be without you!" I say, begging. I cannot leave here. I cannot leave him. He is my heart, my soul, my life.
"That is my decision."
"Where will I go?" I have no where, no one to turn to, all my family - other than Elyan - are dead. I have spent my whole life in Camelot, it is all I know. My bottom lip trembles and more tears fall from my stinging eyes.
"I am sorry." he says opening the door. "I am truly sorry." his voices breaks slightly and he swiftly walks from the room. The last time I see my Arthur possibly ever.
How could I do this to him? I love him with all my heart, nothing could change that. I look down at my hand and fiddle with the ring. Perhaps I should give it to Merlin to return to Arthur. Surely it is his now, I have no need for it.
After a couple of minutes, I begin walking back to my home deciding to keep hold of the ring. It will remind me of the happy times, in the dark days to come. The days I cope with my betrayal.
