She stands there on the edge of the cliff, the wind blowing her dark hair all around her face. Tears streak down her sallow cheeks. Her skin has always been pale but now after 9 months of heartache, illness, and pain had taken their tole her pale skin which at one time had been pretty now took on a look of death; the dark circles under her eyes looked like purple bruises. Her once deep chocolate brown eyes that were always so lively were dull and lifeless in her sunken sockets. Standing tall reaching her full five foot three inches, the wind and rain making her long sleeved t-shirt cling to her slight form even with the shirt you could see her ribs. It was amazing that the wind didn't pick her up and carry her away. She came out here to the cliffs almost every day now; standing at the ledge strengthening her resolve to jump to end the pain before finally stepping back and crumpling to the ground. She had made her mind up a few days ago that the next time would be her last she would finally take the plunge. Today was that day she had had enough of the pain, the torture, the heartache. It was time to end it. She stood there with her eyes closed, feeling the wind and rain whip around her, with a slight smile playing on her lips she stepped forward waiting for the fall. At that precise moment she felt two stone arms wrap around her small frame pulling her into a hard chest. Her mind knew in an instant it wasn't Him. Her mind raced as she felt the rush of the wind and felt the movement of her body, behind her eye lids the light faded knowing she was being swept in to the woods.
It clicked as to who this was and she whispered his name "Laurent." She will still die today just not the way she expected. She felt herself pinned to a tree by two strong hands with an iron grip. She heard his growl as she tilted her head to the side giving complete access to the vein in her neck awaiting the piercing pain as he bit in to her. Her relief flooded through her knowing the end was at hand until she heard his voice.
"Bella? Bella! What are you doing? I will not allow you to harm yourself." She felt her confusion as she knew he felt it too. He was the empath. "Jasper?" Crap she wasn't going to die today. Alice had "seen" and she was being rescued. She felt her anger boiling, she had wanted to end this pain, this torture and now she was in the arms of a "safe" vampire. She growled and hissed at him knowing it was fruitless, she struggled to get away. "God dammit, Bella, open your eyes. Look at me and stop with all the despair. I won't let you harm yourself. I won't let you take your self from me, your family, and Edward." As he spoke His name she growled ferociously as the whole in her chest tore wide open. The heat ache and loss coupled with worthlessness and despair.
If it wasn't for the warmth coming from her body and her heartbeat, the sound that ripped through her throat would have made him think she had been turned. As he looked at her he saw her skin was now just as pale as his and the dark circles under her eyes looked all too familiar. The pain she felt hit him like a blow to his chest. She opened her eyes and looked up into his face; her big brown eyes that once held so much light and life were now dull and lifeless. He locked eyes with her, "Lets get you home. Charlie needs to know what you've been up to and it may be a good idea to take away your keys. I'm going to have to have talk with him." "I don't live there anymore." Her voice soft barely a whisper, but she knew he heard her. "What do you mean Bella? Where do you live?" " I .. I moved into your old house. I couldn't stay with Charlie anymore, it wasn't safe for him to have me around." She looked down at her feet. He stepped back eyeing her up and down, before giving a quick nod. He moved to pick her up and carry her, she shook her head. "I can walk you know." She looked around trying to get her bearings but having no idea the direction he had moved her through the woods she wasn't sure which way to go to get to the truck she had been borrowing. He turned following the path he had took and retraced his steps much slower so she could keep up. They walked in silence, he was headed back to the clearing he had found her at. She walked slightly behind him trying to keep up and not trip over her own feet she stumbled only a couple of times on roots and bushes that lined the forest floor. But both times she was able to catch herself before she fell though she knew if she actually fell she would never hit the ground. once they got to the clearing he turned and looked at her ready to fallow her to her truck. She shuffled her feet for a moment before looking up at him.
" Ok. So... uh... as far as Charlie knows I moved back to Phoenix, I'm 18 there for I can legally live on my own. I keep myself hidden for the most part but when I have to leave to go shopping I go to Olympia for one and my truck is parked behind one of the garages hidden under some brush I uh borrowed one of the vehicles left in the garage. One of the less ostentatious vehicles." she ducked her head wondering if he would be upset with her stealing the truck from the garage. She looked up at him when she heard the chuckle that escaped him. "So the Chief's daughter has resorted to breaking and entering and theft. Wonder what else you've gotten yourself into." She gave him a smirk and turned walking towards where she had parked the forest green Dodge Ram. When she got to the truck she automatically went to the driver side only to be stopped by a hand on her shoulder she stopped and looked up at him, he had a small smirk playing on his lips, "My truck, I drive." Taking the keys from her hand he was already sitting in the drivers seat waiting for her to come around to the passenger side. Once she was seated in the passenger seat judging her emotions she was ready to go. He cocked his head, he'd heard as the Chief's daughter she was all about obeying the laws; seat belts and going the speed limit apparently that all had changed. He put the truck in gear and started driving to his old home.
" Ok Bella there's a lot that you need to explain so that I can understand everything going on. Why is Charlie in danger with you around? Why is it that you think your only way out is through death. Please talk to me, help me understand." Bella gave a deep sigh. She didn't want to but she understood Jasper needed to know. "Take me home and I'll explain, I just really need a drink before I go into it." Jasper nodded and headed the truck back towards the Cullen's place. Once they got back to the house and the truck was back in the garage they walked slowly to the front door Jasper keeping pace with her. She paused at the front door shuffling her feet and looking down, not ready to go in and face the music so to speak. She had caused so much damage to the house taking out her anger out on everything that had to do with Him. She felt guilty about it now, she knew Esme would be very upset when she saw the house. Bella still hadn't moved, Jasper standing behind her was frowning and growing impatient. "Bella, your emotions are all over the place. What's wrong? Come on, you've been standing here for a few minutes lets get inside, or do you need me to help you?" He smirked down at her. Taking a deep breath to calm herself she opened the door and entered the house. She headed straight to the kitchen Jasper followed behind taking a seat at the island counter, waiting while watching her. She went to the pantry and walked inside grabbing a bottle of soda out of the case that sat on the floor under the bottom shelf to the right of the door. Exiting the pantry she closed the door behind her and walked over to the counter reaching above the microwave she opened the cupboard door and reached in and pulled down a bottle of vodka, taking off the lid she took a long drink then replaced the lid; grabbing both the bottle of booze and the bottle of soda she carried them over and placed them on the island across from Jasper. Turning she went to the drawer next to the sink and opened it grabbing out a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, and an ashtray. Carrying them in one hand she grabbed both bottles by the necks with her other hand and walked around the island heading in to the dining room and sitting at the long table and set everything down and took a seat. Jasper who had gotten up and followed her walked around the table and took a seat across from her.
She looked him straight in the eye almost daring him to say anything as she took the lid off the bottle of vodka and took another drink, she put the bottle back down on the table then grabbed the soda and took the lid off and took a drink. The Dr. Pepper adding to the burn in her throat from the alcohol she made a slight face at the burn unable to help it, then picked up the pack of smokes, taking one out she lit it and inhaled deeply. Jasper smirked at her, "Well I guess you've changed a lot more then just your appearance there Bella." She gave him a small smile, "actually there's a lot you all didn't know about me. Though the smoking is a new habit I picked up but it helps calm my nerves." He sat and watched as she smoked her cigarette, not wanting to push but at the same time starting to grow impatient. He knew there was a lot he needed to know and the sooner the better. He had picked up the scents as soon as he walked into the house one was old but it was the other that worried him most. "So Isabella what is with the self-destruction. Drinking, smoking, and then trying to throw yourself off a cliff?" She didn't respond just shook her head as she snuffed out her cigarette in the ash tray. He needed answers. She grabbed the bottle of vodka and took another swig then chased it down with a swig of her soda before pulling out another cigarette, she sat there holding the cigarette playing with it between her fingers. She stared down at it trying to get her thoughts in order, she took a deep breath. Slowly she brought it to her lips, lit it, then inhaled. She stared down at the table not wanting to look up at him she began to talk.
"I'm not trying to self-destruct, though I know that's how it looks. I'm just trying to survive, and forgive me for having a few weak moments where surviving is just to damn hard and painful. Smoking helps me stay calm as much as I can anyway." she took a long drag and exhaled slowly, she tapped her ash in the ashtray and stared at the cherry of her cigarette. "The alcohol well I have a few reasons for that, for a little while it helps numb the pain, it doesn't help me forget though. Some days I wish it would other days I'm glad it doesn't. I want to remember but at the same time I wish I could forget." She paused for a moment her breath caught in her throat she closed her eyes but couldn't stop the few tears that fell making a trail down her cheek. She continued to smoke her cigarette in silence, when she snuffed it out in the ashtray she wiped her tears, and grabbed her bottle of soda took a swig trying to swallow down her tears. She looked up at him, "I'm sorry I'm not as strong as you all thought I was." She averted her eyes looking down at the table taking a breath before she tried to speak again. "I ... They... I'm... crap I can't even begin to try to." She couldn't complete a sentence let alone a thought her emotions all over the place but her terror and pain at the fore front. Jasper got up and moved around the table sitting next to her putting an arm around her shoulders he sent calm out into the room letting it swirl around them.
"I have isolated myself here. No one knows I'm here. Charlie thinks I went back to Phoenix. I can't be around anyone, I would rather have her torture me then hurt anyone else. She likes to toy with me, it's a game, torture the poor defenseless human girl. She's going to make me crazy before she kills me, though I'm beginning to wonder if she will kill me, maybe just torment, and torture me till I die of old age. She wants me to pay for what He did. A person can only go through so much pain before it's just too much and all you want is just to end it. It may be selfish but I think after all I've been through I'm entitled to a little selfishness." The tears had began to flow making tracks down her cheeks she let the sobs out as they wracked her frail form. He pulled her close into his chest holding her till her sobs diminished, he felt her hand on his chest as she gave a light push, he pulled back a bit releasing his hold and looked down into her eyes. Her eyes locked on his filled with urgency and panic. "You have to leave Jasper. You have to go before she comes back. I won't let you get hurt over me. I can't do that to Alice. I'm not worth it, just go back to them, go back to Alice."
"Isabella Marie. I'm not going anywhere. I will not leave you. Tell me, who? Who is doing this to you?" She shook her head, "No Jasper. I won't allow you to get hurt over me." Jasper placed his fingers under her chin forcing her to look up at him holding her gaze he gave her a smirk. "You won't allow me?" He held her gaze and softly blew a breath in her face, "Now tell me who, Bella." She sighed as her eyes glazed over for a moment before she shook her head trying to rid herself of the fog that blanketed her brain for a moment. You can't deny vampires anything, "V.. Victoria." she spoke so softly it came out barely a whisper. A low growl rumbled in his chest, the only word she could make out amongst the growls was "Why?" She sighed at his question, she didn't want to go into it all. Rehashing all the old memories, having to remember it all. She also knew he wouldn't drop it, he wanted answers, and thought he deserved answers. Though she wasn't exactly sure why he all of the sudden he had deemed himself her protector. She grabbed the bottle of vodka and chugged it after putting it back on the table she wrapped her arms around her middle trying to hold the pieces together; pain was coming and she was going to have to try to hold it in as much as possible. She looked up at him letting some of the memories come to the forefront. She watched his face as it twisted with the pain he felt from her, she closed her eyes and imagined a her pain only surrounding her she put up a wall between them to keep her emotions to herself. Jasper had done nothing to deserve to feel her pain.
She opened her eyes and looked up at him, it had worked a little but not good enough, her pain was still leaking through. She once again closed her eyes and concentrated instead of putting up a wall she pushed her emotions as deep as she could if she couldn't feel them then neither could he. Back in her zombie state, her arms dropped in her lap, she opened her eyes and began to speak. Her voice, void of any emotions, was a blank monotone. Her head bowed as she looked in her lap. "After everyone left, I didn't do so well, the Doctors said I was catatonic and would need to be hospitalized. Charlie called Renee and she flew up here that night. The next day they started packing up my stuff, finally things they were saying started sinking in, they were sending me away. I refused to leave. I screamed, I cried, I threw a fit. They thought that it was a break through I was on the mend, Renee went back to Florida and I stayed with Charlie. I went to school, got a job to fill up the empty hours, when I wasn't in school or at work I cleaned and cooked. I barely slept, sleep wasn't my friend, the dreams that kept recurring had me screaming in my sleep, till Charlie would come in and wake me. Finally in January he had enough, he was going to have me committed, he said I was nothing but a shell a walking zombie and he didn't know how to help me.
"I asked for one more chance, I made plans, going to the movies and shopping with Jessica, hanging out at La Push on the weekends when Charlie went fishing, learned how to act alive. The first time I saw her Jessica and I had gone to the movies, when we left the theater I saw a flash of orange red hair, at first I pushed it aside as over imagination. But then on the drive home, the car slid off the road and hit a tree, Jessica was unconscious, my door swung open and she was there staring at me. She told me that just killing me would be too easy, if she had to live with her pain, I would have to live with mine. She hit the windshield causing it to shatter and used her finger nail to reopen the gash in my arm. Just as she was about to leave the wind blew and the moonlight hit my hand making the scar on my wrist a little more pronounced. She grabbed my hand and looked at the bite mark. I told her James bit me in Phoenix. She cocked her head to the side. I knew what she was trying to figure out so I told her, the venom was sucked out. She disappeared and moments later a car drove by. I let the world go black. I woke up in the hospital, only a few scrapes and bruises and a slight concussion for Jessica and other then the gash in my arm I was fine. We had to stay overnight but were released the next morning. That was the beginning. After that I would see her often, she never came close but she made sure I had seen her."
The zombie state didn't last long enough, traitor tears fell from her eyes, she didn't look at Jasper she was afraid of what his face would show, as much as she tried to keep her pain to herself she knew she failed. She took a swig from the bottle followed by a drink of her soda and then grabbed a cigarette and lit up. She chanced a glance at him and wished she never had as his face was blank there was nothing there for her to read, "there's more of course but I just can't, not right now, please just give me some time I'll tell you the rest. I just ... I can't..." Jasper shook his head slightly pulling himself out of his rage, right now he needed to focus. He grabbed the bottle of vodka and handed it to her, he knew she needed a swig. "Here Bella, take a drink it's ok darlin just breathe, you did good." She took the bottle and took a swig then chased it with her soda. Taking a deep shuddering breath trying to calm herself. Jasper pulled her into his arms giving her comfort wrapping her in calm.
After a few minutes he pulled back and looked at her. "I'm sorry darlin, I'm not used to being around humans, I should have had you go up and change out of your wet clothes first. You should go on and take a shower and get some dry clothes on. Get yourself warmed up before you get sick. I promise I'll still be here. I'm not going nowhere." Bella nodded as she realized she was a little cold. Luckily the alcohol had kept her warm enough to stave off the shivers. As she went to get up she realized she had been sitting for awhile her legs tingled as she stood, holding on to the table to make sure they would hold her up. "Alright Jasper I'll be down in a few, you're probably right I need to get out of these wet clothes before I catch pneumonia again." Once she knew her legs could hold her she stepped away and headed to the stairs going up to the bedroom she had commandeered as her own for now. She rummaged through her back pack that held her clothes and grabbed out her jeans and underclothes then went into the closet and headed to the back where the long sleeved t-shirts were hung as well as a few hoodies, grabbed a white long sleeved shirt and a black hoodie she made her way to the connecting bath and grabbed a towel she started the shower letting the hot water run for a few minutes to heat up she removed her wet clothes then adjusted the temperature of the water before stepping into the shower stall. She stood there letting the hot water cascade over her body before she grabbed her favorite shampoo and began to wash her hair. Once she was clean and warm she stepped out and got dressed.
Once she was toweled off and dressed she quickly ran a brush through her hair and then put it up in a messy bun before heading back downstairs. As she descended the stairs she noticed the living room was cleaned up the debris from the piano all cleaned up and the love seat and chairs arranged with the coffee table. Jasper was standing there admiring his handy work, as she hit the landing, her hands twisting together as she shuffled her feet. "Sorry about the mess, I uh didn't mean to destroy the living room." Jasper chuckled as he turned around facing her. "It's not a problem, Bella, I think I understand why you did it. Just trying to figure out how you did it." A slight blush touched her cheeks, it had been a very long time since she had felt the warmth in her face caused by her blush. "I uh found a uh sledgehammer in the garage. It's um currently embedded in the wall in His room." Jasper chuckled again, "well that is one room I'm not cleaning that will be left all for Him." Bella smiled up at Jasper, he looked her over and quirked his brow. "Though I'm starting to wonder if I should worry about myself in your presence? I'm going to hope that you aren't targeting me, but honestly as a betting man I am beginning to wonder." She arched her brow at him confusion swirled around her. "Well Bella first you took my truck, then if I'm correct that is mine and Alice's room you're staying in, and if that isn't enough you are wearing my clothes." He arched his brow at her waiting for her to deny it or explain it. She smirked at him at walked around him sitting in one of the arm chairs before she began to speak."Well Jasper, first off, if you recall; I borrowed the truck, I didn't steal it. And like I said it was the least ostentatious of the vehicles left in the garage as well as the tinted windows hiding my identity. After all I'm supposed to be in Phoenix. Now as far as the room goes I had two options and when I thought it through well really there was only one and I took it. I had the choice of two rooms that wouldn't hurt as bad still hurts yes but not as thoroughly as the others. I could have used Rosalie and Emmett's room or yours and Alice's and yes I thought about the first one, but one thought kept me from entering that space and that was and is the thought of what Rosalie will do to me when she finds out I invaded her space. So that only left one room yours and Alice's Now as far as the clothes go they were the only thing in the closet that was long sleeved and kept me covered. So no I'm not targeting you at all Jasper, your stuff just seems to suit my needs." She gave him a wink and a smirk and rested her head back on the chair.
"Well when you put it that way it does make sense, and I'm glad my things suit your needs." He paused his head tilted as he listened for a moment. "Now then if you will please go into the kitchen and keep quiet so as not to expose yourself to anyone, there's someone coming up the drive, don't worry I just ordered you some food. Tomorrow you and I will go to Olympia and get what we need to stock the kitchen." Bella looked up at him and nodded as she stood and made her way into the kitchen. She made her way into the pantry bypassing the soda she grabbed a bottle of water. Trying to not make any noise she waited there for the all clear. She didn't want to chance tripping over her own feet and falling on her face; that would be her luck after all. Of course it would take longer then necessary no doubt whoever delivered would get all chatty about one of the Cullen's being back in Forks. Small town gossip spreads like wild fire. Finally she heard Jasper call out her name and she made her way out of the kitchen and into the dining room, which the table had already had the pizza placed in front of the chair she had sat in earlier. She took the seat setting her water bottle next to the pizza, a small pepperoni with a small order of bread sticks sitting next to it. She grabbed a bread stick and began to eat, Jasper unlike the others found something to do and occupy his attention so it didn't seem as though he were sitting there watching her. After she finished the bread stick she opened her bottled water and took a swig before grabbing a slice of the pizza. Once she had finished the slice she drank her water then took the pizza and bread sticks into the kitchen and putting it all away in the fridge. Now that she had food on her stomach and the alcohol had lost it's effect she went to the cupboard and grabbed the bottle as well as a soda then mixed herself a drink before putting the bottle back in the cupboard she took a large drink, fallowed by a swallow of her mixed drink. Then carefully carrying the drink she made her way out of the kitchen and through the dining room noticing Jasper was standing in the living room staring out the window; she took a seat on the couch pulling her feet up and under her she took a drink from her glass, then stared at Jasper's back. She knew she needed to finish telling him everything and it would be better to get it all out and done with like ripping off a band aid. The longer she waited the harder it was going to be and if he was going to stick around he needed to know what to expect.
"It wasn't till after I left Charlie's and moved in here that she began to really torture me. I've had a few broken ribs, I think she broke my arm at one point, it's doing better now. I rummaged through Carlisle's office and found medical supplies to fix most of the cuts she gave me, I found an arm brace and used that on my arm. I didn't go to the hospital so I'm not sure how bad it was. Her latest form of torture is biting me and then sucking out the venom, I now have more scars then I care to admit." Bella took another drink and looked down into her lap trying to gather the strength to go on. "I'm sorry if I'm kinda all over the place but my days and months have just ran together it's hard to tell the chronological order of things. At one point I went to the meadow He took me to, Laurent found me there he was supposed to aid in my torture but he said he just didn't have the stomach for it, instead he would just drain me, he promised to make it quick, I smelled so good to him and he was thirsty; as he went to lunge at me, something caught his attention and he turned and ran off a moment later five large wolves came out of the woods and chased him. I recognized one of them immediately, as soon as I looked into his eyes I knew it was my friend Jacob. I know all about the Quileutes and the treaty, it's how I found out what you all were. At the time I was told, Jacob was not one of the pack and didn't know that it was more then just old tribal stories, legends passed down from generations. He didn't know there was truth in any of the stories he told me or that by telling me would be breaking the treaty. But the Quileutes are like family to me and I must protect them just as I must protect Charlie. I'm the one who involved myself in mystical creatures and now have a target on my head. So I live here away from them letting Victoria torture me or waiting for Laurent to come drain me." She looked up at Jasper to see he had taken a seat on the love seat across from her leaning forward his face filled with pain.
Bella, I'm so sorry Bella. It's all my fault, and I'm so sorry. I'd give anything to make it right." He sat there staring at her intently, watching her as she downed the rest of her drink. She stood and headed to the kitchen grabbing her smokes and the ashtray along with a lighter. She made her way back in seeing he was stone still in the same position she left him in. She placed the ashtray down on the coffee table and lit up a cigarette, watching him the whole time. "What the hell Jasper!" He didn't move or make any acknowledgement to the fact that she had spoken. She shook her head then felt the anger rise in her and then threw it at him as she yelled at him, "Jasper Hale! What the absolute fuck are you talking about. How is this your fault?" His head whipped up at her, "Bella, I attacked you. I set this all in motion, me, my weakness. If I had been stronger; strong enough to hold back we would all still be here. He wouldn't have left you. It's my fault Bella, please, please forgive me." She looked him in the eye and shook her head. "Jasper Hale! You need to understand something right now. You are NOT weak. There is nothing to forgive. Yes you attacked me, but that is very understandable for two reasons. Firstly, what are you? You're a vampire, of course the smell of my blood is going to get to you. It's only natural. I never blamed you, not ever, not even while it was happening. I knew as soon as I saw the blood it was inevitable." She saw his pained face contort even more as his whole body stiffened. "Let me finish, Jasper! I said two reasons that was only the first. Secondly, what are you Jasper? You're an empath, think about it Jasper. You weren't just feeling your blood lust but Edward's as well, he has tasted my blood which makes it even stronger so of course as soon as a drop of blood appeared you had yours and his to contend with and then he threw me in to a glass table covered in glass plates and when I looked up there were six pairs of dark eyes looking back at me. You had to deal with all of theirs as well as yours. So yes it was inevitable that you would attack but at the same time you struggled against Emmett you also struggled against yourself. I have no doubt in my mind what so ever that if you truly wanted to drain me not one person in that room not even Alice would have been able to stop you. You warred against yourself at the same time. So again I reiterate there is nothing to forgive. You did nothing wrong." She stared him down daring him to contradict her. He had known she was perceptive but to see all that in the moment of the crises, damn she was good. But he had had enough of the heavy conversation and just wanted to see her smile again so he kept it light. "That may be, but lets not test the theory, no bleeding allowed." He chuckled. And for the first time she flushed as she flashed him a small smile. Though part of it could be due to the alcohol, he was hoping more for her coming back to herself just a bit. She was very beautiful even though he knew she didn't see it. She had an inner beauty that radiated out.
"Thank you Bella, not just for your words but the honesty and sincerity behind them. But why do you feel guilty, and what's with the negative emotions?" She took a deep breath, "The guilt is easy Jasper, it's my fault, I'm the one who got a paper cut in the midst of vampires, me, the danger magnet. My fault." Jasper was by her side instantly, tilting her head to look into her eyes. "No Bella, that was an accident. Nothing more, therefore not your fault. Now explain the negative emotions coming off of you. I don't quite understand why you feel that way." Bella looked at Jasper, the one thing she really didn't want to talk about is of course what he wants her to go into. The whole reason behind the catatonic state the reason why she fell apart so fully. It wasn't just Edward leaving it was all of them and the fact that she had been nothing more then a mere distraction to them all. Those who called her family, a family she had finally had and felt like she belonged. She had, had siblings and a mother who cared for her and a father who looked out for her well being; or at least that was what she had believed and she had been so wrong. The tears began to fall she couldn't stop them she didn't even bother to try, she just let them fall coursing down her sunken looked at her and felt her emotions go into chaos swirling around her and taking him with her he felt his own eyes prick with tears that would never fall, as his eyes blinked rapidly at the stinging pain of the venom welled in his eyes. He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her flitting over to the love seat he placed her in his lap and held her as she cried. They sat that way for a while before she finally was able to shake her self from her downward spiral. She brushed the tears from her eyes, as she came back to herself and became aware of her surroundings. Realizing she had wrapped her arms around him and cried on his shoulder, she began to untangle herself from him attempting to put distance between the two of them, knowing it must be hard for him to be so close to hear when he wasn't use to being in close proximity with humans. He pulled her closer to him, "You're fine darlin, it's not even an issue at the moment. I promise I won't hurt you, I have caused you so much pain already. I couldn't stand to harm you further." Bella sighed deeply, warning coloring her tone as she simply said, "Jasper." She looked him in the eye and arched a brow daring him to continue his line of thought and self blame. He ducked his head. "My apologies Ma'am, but you do realize even though you say there is nothing to forgive I myself have a different notion on that topic." She shook her head and slapped his chest, hurting her hand more than him. Surprised by her action he raised his head and looked her in the eye. "Well then, Jasper, I suggest you change your notion on that there topic." He arched a brow at her as she copied his accent perfectly, she gave him a small smirk.
"Now to address what you wanted to know, and the reason for my breakdown. I will tell you, I promise, just not tonight. I am drained and I am going to go up and go to bed. We will talk more tomorrow, if you are still here that is." She looked down in her lap, he reached up putting a finger under her chin tilting her chin up forcing her to look at him. "I'm not going anywhere and I'll hold you to your promise, and don't forget we have to go shopping tomorrow and a few other things we will have to address. He helped her up off his lap and released her. "Goodnight Bella, I'll see you in the morning." She gave him a nod and headed up the stairs. Once she got into the room she pulled out her sweats and a tank top and headed into the bathroom to do her nightly routine once she had changed into her bed clothes and had brushed out her hair, she headed back to the bedroom and curled up in the middle of the bed wrapping the comforter around her small frame, hoping to drift into a dreamless sleep she closed her eyes. The events of the day had been both mentally and emotionally draining and she was exhausted. It didn't take long before she succumbed to sleep. Her hopes of a dreamless sleep were dashed when the dreams began to replay for her yet again. It started with Edward leading her deep in the woods and ripping out her heart and crushing her soul, then leaving her there in the woods, the place he said was wrought with dangers worse then him. Then the dream changed Edward was gone and now Laurent was hovering above her, preparing to lunge, then the wolves surrounded her, and finally Victoria appeared biting her over and over. Then finally darkness, but the darkness was worse, the darkness was the absence of the family that said they cared and then left her to fend for herself in a world of creatures she had no chance of fighting or surviving. Like most nights she began to scream, loud piercing screams tore through her throat.
Jasper had been in his study working through all that he had learned and reading one of his favorite civil war books, when he heard her screams, he was up and in her room in less then a second but as the moonlight hit her bared skin, he stopped in his tracks as his eyes took in her scars. Healed cuts and bite marks covered her slender arms. She had kicked off the comforter in her sleep and her tank top had risen exposing a part of her stomach, he saw what looked like claw marks marring her porcelain skin. The scars did not distract from her beauty instead they added a strength to it. She was so much stronger then she realized and so beautiful, with her dark mahogany hair surrounding her face, her lips full as her mouth made a small oh, then another scream tore from her and he was instantly next to her pulling her close; wrapping his arms around her. He rocked her gently while making quiet shushing sounds. "Bella," he crooned softly, "You're ok Darlin, I'm right here. You're ok, you're safe. I promise you no harm will come to you." He continued to rock her while sending out calm and lethargy pulling her down into a deeper dreamless calming and healing sleep. He held her the rest of the night keeping her in a dreamless state of much needed rest. He now understood the dark circles under her eyes, if this is what her sleep had consisted of, night terrors that had her screaming in the night, it was a wonder she was able to function at all. He knew what he would have to do in the morning and he knew she was not going to like it and would argue against it. But the fact was, she needed a doctor and the only one that would understand where her scars came from would be Carlisle. He wasn't sure how she would react to him telling her he would need to call the family. The night of her party him and Alice had gone to Alaska, he was so ashamed of himself. He loved her, but yet he had tried to bite and drain her. How could he do something like that to someone he cared about, he had told her at one time she was worth them fighting for her, and he still felt that way. He had heard that after the "attack" she had told Edward that she couldn't be around them anymore, she wasn't able to deal with the possibility of dying on any given day. She was hurting too many by being around vampires. She was causing Jasper pain by being in their lives; as much as she loved them it was just to difficult to continue on the way they were. So she wanted to continue her human life, therefore she asked that they leave. That was the story he was told, but he never actually saw Edward so had no idea if the story was true or not. The ones who told him felt no deception so they thought it was true. Carlisle and Alice being the two that had told him. Alice had not seen anything as it was not a thought out decision. It was a moments thought put into words. And Jasper knew if Bella didn't want Alice to see she knew how to work around Alice's gift. Just like his gift only worked to an extent. She was able to shove it away if it was unwanted, She proved that in Phoenix, but she was also able to block him when she so chose to. He knew she was selfless and would no doubt cause herself pain in order to save someone else from pain. But the more he thought about what she had said today and how she had acted, he started to seriously doubt the story he was told. He wanted to know what actually happened after her birthday. What had he actually caused. His thoughts circled in his head the rest of the night as he held her sleeping in his arms. Keeping her in a deep sleep and calm the rest of the night and in to mid morning. At around ten am he started to slowly pull back the lethargy, till his manipulation was completely gone, then he waited for her to wake on her own.
