Disclaimer: I don't own Kim Possible.

Noelle entered her bedroom and heard screaming and yelling, mostly from her father. Her parents constantly fought and it bothered her till no end. She was a nervous child; too nervous. She had a habit of biting the tips of her fingers until they bled. She would even pick the skin off of the tips of her fingers and peel it off. She liked to imagine the sound of her cells being peeled away one by one. She wondered if they screamed or if they hurt when she did this. She imagined it sounded like paper ripping slowly down the middle. But she never bit her nails. Her nails hid the raw skin that tried to grow back, well at least from the frontal view of her hands anyway.

She put her pink backpack with butterflies on it on the floor. She unzipped it and took at her homework folder. She had put a test in there to show her parents. Where was it? Oh, it was in the left pocket behind some notices her parents would never see. She grabbed the test which had a gold star on it and a ninety eight percent written on the top of it in red pen and a good job written underneath. She smiled when she saw it and held it in her bitten up fingers.

She got the courage to leave her room. She never left it unless she had to use the bathroom or was hungry. And even then, she'd wait until she couldn't anymore especially when she was hungry. She held the test in her left hand as she descended the stairs. She could feel her heart beating quickly and she found herself holding her breath and periodically letting the carbon dioxide expel and breathe in fresh oxygen.

She entered the kitchen where her parents were. Her father had to go back to the office soon so she figured she'd have to hurry up and tell them how well she did on her test she had the other day. She never showed her parents the good grades she usually got, but today was the highest one she had received yet. She figured if she did better then her parents would stop fighting.

"Daddy…mommy…?" She said quietly and would most likely not be heard over her father's yelling. "Daddy? Mommy?" She tried again only a few decibels louder. However, her father had noticed her presence and stopped yelling at her mother. He looked at Noelle angrily, as if she had disrupted an important matter.

"What the fuck do you want?" He said to her, his anger still showing as he balled his fists. Noelle was afraid she'd be hit again, but she figured that she would be okay because she did good on her test because whenever Henry did well or Michael, they would get praised for it. So, she wanted attention from her parents; the good kind.

"I…umm…got my math test back…" She said and held it out. Her father grabbed it out of her hand and looked through it, flipping the pages back and forth. She put her hands behind her back and crossed her fingers, hoping that she'd made her parents happy.

"What is this? You added wrong? What is twenty four plus twenty seven?" He said to her and glared daring her to get it wrong. Noelle thought for a moment. "Well?"

"Umm…fifty one?"

"And why did you write forty one on the test? You are a dumbshit." He threw the test back at her. It landed on the floor in a paper ball. Tears threatened to spill over her eyes. She looked up at her mother whom just looked back down at the floor shaking her head back and forth, basically informing her that she didn't do well enough. Noelle bent over and picked up her test. Her father slapped her hard across the face.

Noelle had run back up to her room and cried but she didn't make a sound. She smoothed the test out. It was still crinkled, but she could still see that ninety eight. "I just can't be good enough." She whispered to herself and began to pick at the tips of her fingers again.

Noelle didn't really remember the past night. She just remembered her mother had left and she didn't come back the next morning. And then she didn't come back after a week. And then a month passed. Noelle couldn't accept that her mother had abandoned her so she'd look out the living room window and sit by it, hoping she'd see her mother come back. She didn't care whether her mother came in stumbling and reeking of alcohol or if she came in and cut herself in front of her.

Noelle sat by the window and watched the people walk by. She let tears fall from her face. She felt as if it was her fault her mother left. She kept telling herself if she had done better on that test, maybe her mother would have stayed. She looked at the phone to her right. She really wanted to call her oldest brother Henry who was away at college. But she didn't want him to worry. He was having a good time there and she didn't want to bother him over something that could have been prevented.

Taking in a ragged breath, she went up to her room. Her father would be home soon and she didn't want to be caught looking out the living room window again. She still had the bruise from last time and she didn't want to get hurt again. However, she feared that the next person to walk by might be her mother. But the fear of getting hurt overtook her.

Noelle sat up on her bed and cried. She never uttered a sound; she didn't want to be that weak. She knew she was weak but she didn't want to be so weak that she'd cry like the twins all blubbering and sniffling. She remembered that the twins needed their dinner. So, she crept down the stairs to grab them something. She looked through the cabinets, searching desperately for something for them to eat. She was glad when she found two bananas sitting on the counter. The skin had gone brown but she figured they wouldn't notice because they were only three and weren't too picky about food. She took the last of the apple juice and poured it in two cups for them. She set them on the tray with the bananas. Then, to the right of the fridge she found apple sauce. She decided she'd give that to them in the morning for breakfast. She couldn't let anyone else eat it, so she put it in a lunch box with an ice pack.

Noelle was racing against time. It was five o'clock and her father wasn't home yet and she was glad about that. But that meant he'd be home any second. Not wanting to be found taking her father's food, she rushed upstairs with the boys' dinner. She entered their room where they cried because they were hungry. "Aaron, Aidan I've got dinner." She smiled and set the tray down on the ground. She peeled the bananas and gave them one each. They ate happily and drank their apple juice. It wasn't much of a dinner and Noelle felt bad about that. But tomorrow was Monday so the boys would be going to preschool and she'd be going to school.

She jumped when the door opened and was glad that it was only Michael. "Sorry sis, didn't mean to scare you." He said and sat down next to them. He opened his backpack and took some food out of it. Noelle was surprised when there was turkey, mashed potatoes, carrots and peas, and even a quart of milk.

"Where'd you get all this?" She asked.

"I got it from Mrs. Harrington down the street. I was walking down the street just because and she gave it to me! I thanked her of course." Michael explained. "We have to eat with our hands though because I don't have any forks."

"That's fine. I'll save the bananas for another day." She said and took them from the boys and put them in the lunch box with the applesauce. They spread the food out on the tray and dug in except Noelle. She was told by her mother not to eat dinner or else she'd get fat and ugly.

"Come on," Michael urged, "You have to eat this."

"But you know I can't. Mommy said…" She was interrupted.

"Doesn't matter what she says because she isn't here anymore. And besides, what she said about girls not eating dinner is a load of bullshit."

"Michael! Not in front of Aaron and Aidan!" She gasped. "Mommy never lied to me."

"Whatever. But tonight, you're going to eat this. Okay?"

"Well," She hesitated before picking up a slice of turkey. "I guess I don't know when I'll eat again." Their father had stopped giving the two lunch money. So, when they were able to eat they had to eat. Noelle knew that this meal was full of calories but she was desperate and hungry. Her mother wasn't there anymore to make sure when she ate or when she didn't. So, she dug in with her brothers and ate. However, they weren't stupid and decided to save some for tomorrow night. They shoved it in the lunch box with the squished bananas and applesauce.

Noelle went back to her room after tucking in Aaron and Aidan in bed. She wondered where her father was because he hadn't come home. She preferred it that way though because she felt safer but she also hated it because she was on high alert every second of every minute of every hour. But then again, when wasn't she?

In her secret hiding spot in her closet, she placed the lunch box there. It was behind her clothes and under the floorboard. Her father never entered her closet. He said it was because he didn't need to know what she liked or what she needed. And he actually didn't care enough to even check it. She was thankful for her father's carelessness.

Seeing that it was ten at night, she decided that she'd go to bed. She turned off the lights and wished she had her old nightlight that her mother let her keep. However, her father didn't like it and since her mother was gone, he smashed it to bits and pieces in front of her. She didn't let herself cry, she remembered. She had been strong in front of her father but she was weak when she was sent to her room.

She opened the curtains and let the light from the city enter her room. But it wasn't much because her window faced the building next to her house. Most of the lights were out. She saw that the man with the glasses was looking out his window again. She didn't feel like talking to him tonight, so she just went into her bed and closed her eyes. She was surprised how sleepy the food had made her. Her stomach wasn't making grumbling noises that would normally keep her up at night. She felt fat.

Noelle made sure her brothers ate breakfast. She ended up giving them the bananas that they started last night so they wouldn't go bad. Michael had already left around six thirty to go to middle school. So, it was just her, the twins, and her father who would leave for work at any moment. He had come home late last night and went straight to bed which was unusual for him. She decided not to question him when she entered the living room and saw him there reading the paper. "Good morning, Noelle. Boys." He didn't look up but didn't sound angry with her for some reason. Noelle shrugged it off, afraid to even acknowledge that he wasn't being unreasonable. "You three going off to school?" He must have noticed their backpacks.

"Yes." Noelle said timidly.

"Well, be careful." He said and took a sip of his coffee. Noelle nodded and grabbed Aaron's hand in her right and Aidan's in her left. She went through the front door with them. She had to leave twenty minutes earlier than the other kids her age because she had to drop the twins off at preschool. She didn't mind though because that meant less time at home.

"Look at the snow!" Aaron pointed. She could feel him tugging on her arm and wanting to jump in it.

"Yeah, there's a lot of it." Considering it was the middle of December, snow was bound to be present in Go City. "But you'll have to wait until after school to play in it."

"Okay." For three year old boys, they were both very obedient towards their sister. Noelle wondered why but she didn't want to question things that went her way because that rarely happened. As she walked them to school, she thought about how different the two were. Aaron was the talker and the dominant one. He was in charge. Aidan was quiet and dependent on his twin. They were well behaved though. They had that in common. But who wouldn't be well behaved if you were going to be beaten if you didn't? Fear seemed to be an important aspect in her father's parenting style.

Finally, they had arrived at the preschool. She walked them into the classroom. She released them and they went to go play with their friends. She wished she could forget about everything just like that. Their teacher said hello to her but Noelle just smiled politely and went off to her own school.

She walked by herself which was dangerous in Go City because it was so big. Well, if she was older it wouldn't be as dangerous. She was only a nine year old, almost ten. She could hear people say things about her parents such as "Why would they allow her to walk alone?" But most people ignored her and acted as if she didn't exist. She was fine with that. She walked up the steps to the elementary school and then entered her classroom. She usually got there a little bit late but only by minutes. But it caused the teacher to dislike her. So, she would always call on Noelle even if her hand wasn't raised. She was a quiet girl and could barely be heard when she said the answer to a question even though it was usually right. Except today she was on time. Her father hadn't hurt her this morning so there was no bruise or cuts to cover up or blood to clean up. "Good morning Miss Gordon. I am glad you're here on time for once." If only you knew. Noelle thought and took her seat in the back of the classroom.

She didn't have many friends due to the fact she kept to herself or the kids wouldn't bother with her. They didn't bully her and if she spoke to them they wouldn't ignore her. She was known as the good girl or a goody two shoes but she hated being called that. A lot of the girls admired her blonde hair. Most of them had brown hair which Noelle thought was pretty. But her mother taught her blonde hair was better but she didn't have to listen to everything her mother said. This made her feel rebellious. "Hello Noelle." Samantha sat down next to her. Noelle was kind of repulsed by this girl. Her cheeks were too chubby and her clothes were too tight so her stomach bulged in it and she could see every roll. She wondered how this girl even moved. Her fingers were so chubby they looked as if they couldn't bend correctly. She was forced to sit next to Sammy and she didn't like it. But she would never tell her that she was fat because she didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. So the only thing she could do was smile that innocent sweet smile that tricked everyone around her, folded her hands on her desk and look up at her and say,

"Hello Sammy. How are you?" She wished she wasn't so nice sometimes. She wished that she could be as mean as some of the other girls and tell Sammy that she was indeed fat and needed to stop eating for eleven people. But, she was too nice and she knew what it felt like to be called fat and be unaccepted.

"I am fabulous!" She said and with that chubby hand of hers, pushed a dark brown curl behind her ear. That was her word. For her, everything was fabulous. Her days were fabulous, her parents were fabulous, school was fabulous, she was fabulous. "And how about you?" Noelle shrugged and simply said,

"Okay." She could see Sammy eyeing her and looked a bit repulsed.

"You've gotta stop being so skinny, Noelle. Just look at your arms!" She pushed the sleeve of Noelle's sweater up her forearm. "Wow, look at those veins! It's like I could see the blood pumping right through them!" Sammy was always fascinated with those veins in her wrists and that one blue one she could see go up her arm and then disappear. She would touch them and just stare at them. Sammy couldn't see her own veins because of her layers of fat, Noelle assumed, so she'd let her have her fun just as long as she didn't have a bruise on that arm that day.

"Sorry." Noelle felt as if she had to apologize. She felt she was weird like that; always saying sorry even if it wasn't in her control.

"That's all right. This just means I will share my cookies with you at lunch time." Sammy always said that, but Noelle would never eat them. Then she'd be scolded at by Sammy because she didn't know what good food was when she saw it. She always commented on the tips of her fingers too. She'd say that they were gross but fascinating but she'd always tell her to stop picking at them. Ironically, the more she commented, the more Noelle picked at them because she'd get nervous.

At lunch, Noelle was forced to sit next to Sammy. Sometimes, she wondered what they looked like from behind sitting together. Noelle was almost ten and Sammy would be eleven next month. So, with the weight, age, height, and age difference, Noelle thought that they looked funny together. Since Noelle wasn't given money or lunch anymore, she didn't have any. But Sammy would give her the celery sticks that her mother packed her. Noelle ate them. After all, they were negative calories. And she'd eat the carrots and occasionally the piece of fruit. Sammy had told her her mother wanted her to start eating better but Sammy claimed she loved herself just the way she was and didn't need to be skinny to be happy. Noelle wondered how anyone in that body could be that confident and happy.

So, Noelle munched on those carrot and celery sticks as Sammy ate her cookies first, then sandwich, and then drink her water. It was kind of repulsive to watch her eat. It took her more time to eat the carrots than for Sammy to eat her whole lunch. "Are you doing anything after school?" Sammy asked her. She would always try to get Noelle to come over after school.

"I told my little brothers I'd take them outside so they could play in the snow when I got home. And I have to go somewhere after school. I thought I told you I was busy on Mondays." Noelle said sweetly with that sick smile again.

"Oh, I forgot!" Sammy laughed and patted her short friend on the head as if she was a dog. "Tomorrow then. My house. I've been asking you since September. You've gotta come over."

"Well…" Noelle said hesitantly, "I guess I could. I just have to ask my daddy first." She'd ask him tonight, she decided. She would prepare herself for a beating but in the end, he'd probably say yes as long as he didn't have to be involved.

"Cool!" Sammy said. The bell rang to go to recess.

Noelle loved it outside. The cold air blew her cheeks and made them numb. She liked that feeling. She could feel the wet snow seep through her sneakers but she liked that too. It made her feel as if she was alive but at the same time, she felt dead. Sometimes she wanted to be dead and this was the closest she got. Numbing herself in the cold was something she loved to do. However, Noelle was an active child especially after she ate, so she'd always run around outside and climb up to the top of the jungle gym, jump down, then climb back up, go on the swings, the slide, and do the monkey bars. She didn't hang out with Sammy at recess. Physically, she couldn't. Sammy would just sit down and read a book because she claimed running and playing on playgrounds was for babies. Noelle knew that Sammy was just fat and was too tired to do it. She didn't particularly like Sammy. She was just there. She didn't consider her a friend, maybe just an acquaintance. She was too fat and weird for her. But she had to go along with it and pretend to be her friend. She knew it wasn't the nice thing to do but it had to be done. Besides, it wasn't like she talked back about her behind her back or was controlling or anything. She let Sammy do the controlling. It was easier.

At the end of the day, Sammy had left to go on the bus home. Noelle was relieved, but didn't show it. She remained neutral. That girl got on her nerves. Luckily, she was able to just let things go and not get angry. She put on her scarf first, then her jacket, then her pink hat. She looked at herself in the mirror on the door of the closet door and examined herself. That puffy jacket made her look abnormally large and the scarf just added to the bulk. She felt she looked disproportioned because her legs were so skinny compared to her upper half. Sighing, she put on her backpack. "Miss Gordon, please come here for a moment." She hated that the teacher, Mrs. Smith called her Miss Gordon instead of by her first name like all of the other kids. She walked up to the desk and put on that smile.

"Yes?" Her voice was small. She didn't mean for it to sound that way, but it always did.

"Besides today, why are you continuously late?" Mrs. Smith didn't fool around. She sounded very annoyed.

"Because I have to walk my little brothers to preschool every day." She answered truthfully. Hopefully, she wouldn't ask further questions.

"Why do you walk them to preschool? Why don't your parents take them there? You used to be on time, but what happened?" Mrs. Smith leaned her elbows on her desk and put her head on her chin, elegantly holding it up. Her short black hair was tucked neatly behind her ears and her bright red lipstick reminded Noelle of blood, the blood that dripped down from her arm when she had cut herself with a coat hanger and her mother's knife.

"My mother left. She used to bring my brothers to preschool, but she left." Noelle said. She knew many kids lived with one parent so she wasn't any different and there was no reason to lie about it.

"Oh, I am terribly sorry! But your father can't bring them?"

"No." She said. "He can't because he has to go to work. It's easier this way." She explained.

"Well, okay. But please try to get here on time. I've been very lenient with you, Miss Gordon, and if you are late one more time this year, you will have to stay after school with me and clean up the classroom."

"Yes Mrs. Smith." Noelle said goodbye and left. She really hated Mrs. Smith. She had no idea what went on these days. But she wouldn't tell her because then she probably wouldn't have a dad anymore and she needed him even though she didn't want to admit it.

Noelle walked three blocks and entered an apartment. She went up the elevator and knocked on number 769. An old man answered the door. His hair was graying and he was short for a man; he was Japanese. Noelle thought the shape of his eyes were fascinating. She had seen pictures of his daughter who had moved back to Japan. Her eyes were so pretty; the dark brown and the slanted shape. She wished she could look like that with the pretty tan skin and straight black hair. The old man enveloped her into a hug and she hugged him back. He let her into the apartment. His name was Haruki and he was the person who taught her martial arts.

Martial arts were something that she was good at and it came naturally. In only four years, she was considered a black belt in various types of martial arts. Only Henry and Michael knew about the secret classes in Haruki's apartment. He was a great martial artist himself. Every Monday she'd go and get these lessons for free. She felt as if she was privileged and lucky to be learning how to fight and defend herself. She'd never use these moves on her father though. He was much bigger and she'd still be an easy target. But she'd be able to dodge his every move. But then he'd get suspicious and then she may not see Haruki anymore. No, it wasn't worth it. She'd rather take the beatings.

As usual, Haruki would tell her to eat more meat so that she could gain more muscle mass and then she'd be able to do more things. However, she was afraid to get fat so she never really listened. He was like a grandfather to her and she was like a granddaughter to him. He was a lonely man and she was happy to keep him company on Mondays.

She left his apartment and walked the two blocks back to her house that looked out of place with an apartment to the right of it. She entered her house and was welcomed home by her three brothers. Michael had been picking the twins up from preschool after his school got out. She felt bad for the twins because they had to stay in preschool twice or three times as long as the average three year old and they had to go every day now. This was something that she couldn't blame her father for. "Can we play in the snow now?" Aaron asked her.

"Of course." Noelle said. She managed to get them in their snow gear and she and Michael got in their own. They went sledding, made a snowman, and had a snowball fight. They were outside past five o'clock and they didn't even know it. So, when their father got home and they were all inside drinking hot chocolate and having a good time, they looked at the clock when they saw him enter the house. Noelle pulled Aidan up to her lap and Michael pulled Aaron up to his.

"Why do you four look like you've seen a ghost?" Their father laughed and went down on one knee and dropped his briefcase and opened up his arms. "Come on; give your dad a big hug!" Aaron and Aidan hesitated but ran over and gave their dad a hug. Michael shrugged and nervously went over to the family hug. Noelle didn't know what to do. She began to pick at her skin again with her finger nail. She felt her feet moving towards them even though her mind was screaming at her, telling her it was a bad idea. She joined in the hug. It broke after a moment, and her father stood up and hung up his coat and put his briefcase on one of the kitchen counters.

"Are you feeling all right, dad?" Michael asked as he watched his father take out some food and began to prepare dinner.

"Of course I am. Listen," He stopped what he was doing, "I am sorry how I treated you; all of you. I can't be sorry enough. I never should have yelled at you like that or hit you. It's not your fault that your mother was messed up."

"Well, I guess we can forgive you, right?" Michael asked. He had stepped up since Henry had left for college. He had been able to be the voice for the younger three who were terrified of him.

"Okay." Noelle doubted the twins even knew what was going on. They would just say okay to just about anything. They had probably learned that it was easier that way.

"Noelle? Do you forgive daddy?" Her father asked her and looked sincere. Noelle used her smile to fake it. She knew everything wasn't okay with them. She knew Michael must have known that too but he was just going along with their father because it was easier that way.

"Of course." She found herself saying.

"Good. Because tomorrow I am taking you out shopping. You like to get clothes, right?" Noelle remembered she was supposed to ask to go over Sammy's house. And since he was in a good mood, she decided to ask anyway. She was prepared to get hit at any moment.

"Actually, I was invited to go to someone's house. She's been asking me for a while now."

"Well, that is just fine. I'll take the boys out tomorrow instead. Just don't make plans for Wednesday. That is for me and you." Her father smiled at her. She smiled back. Maybe he had changed.

The next day after school, Noelle got on the bus to go over Sammy's house. She had taken the window seat because Sammy said that she could. Noelle felt squished in the seat, but she was small enough to get comfortable. Sammy was showing her off as if she was a pet. Whenever someone got on the bus, she'd say, "Hey, this is my friend, Noelle!" She could feel her cheeks get redder every time she said it. Then, Sammy would pat her on the head when the person passed her. Needless to say, Noelle was glad when the bus began to move. "So, what should we do when we get to my house?"

"I umm, I don't know." She confessed.

"Well, what do you do when you get home from school?"

"Play with my brothers." She told the truth. But she left the part out that she would look out the window and hope she'd see her mother pass the house.

"What do you play with them?" Noelle shrugged.

"I don't know. Sometimes Michael will play with my Barbies with me."

"A boy? And he plays with Barbies?" Sammy said and put her hand on her heart and acted shocked.

"So what if he does?" Noelle defended her brother. "He does it for me." She lied. She knew Michael really liked to play with them because he just liked them.

"Oh, well then I guess he's a nice big brother." Sammy smiled at her. Noelle noticed that it disappeared behind her cheeks that bulged over her mouth when she smiled.

"Yes he is." Noelle said and put her fake smile back on.

"Well well well, Sammy. Looks like you've got a friend." A boy said and sneered at her.

"Yes. She is fabulous." Sammy pat Noelle on the head again. "Her name's Noelle."

"Huh, she's actually pretty. You did well. I mean, I thought that only the pigs and cows would be your friend." The boy laughed.

"Excuse me?" Sammy said and Noelle saw her hands ball into chubby round fists.

"Well, you do look like some big old cow next to her. I think you're fat is squashing her, Sam. You might want to rethink who you make friends with. You cows should hang out together so that you don't look as fat. But putting Noelle next to you, it's just hysterical. Have you ever seen yourself walk around with her?" He laughed at her.

"Just shut it, Josh." She said and then the bus stopped. Noelle followed Sammy off of the bus and saw that they had stopped at a condo complex. "I hate Josh. I don't know how I'll get him off my back." She could see Sammy was hurt. She wished she could do something to cheer her up.

"I don't know. Maybe just don't listen to him. And when he wants you to get angry or cry, don't. Then he might leave you alone." Noelle said. She knew that if Sammy lost weight, he would stop but she obviously didn't want to give up her 'fabulous' cookies and cakes.

"Maybe you're right." Sammy smiled and took Noelle's hand, leading her deeper into the complex of condos. They had entered one of them and Noelle took her shoes off and put them next to Sammy's and then she took off her jacket, hat, and scarf. Sammy hung them neatly in the coat closet. "We should do our homework before we play. Don't you agree?"

"Yes." Agreeing was easier, so that is what she did. They only had a math worksheet. Noelle finished it as quickly as possible.

"Wow, you're fast! And it's long division! How do you do it?" Sammy said and finished the last problem.

"I don't know. It just comes easy to me I guess." Noelle said. "But you're still good at math though."

"Yes, but you're math grade is much more fabulous than mine!" Sammy said and the two put their homework back in their backpacks. "My mom works from home, so she's in her office. My dad is on a business trip so he won't be back until Saturday. Does your daddy go on business trips?"

"Yes. Yes he does." Noelle said.

"What do you want to do now?" Sammy changed the subject.

"I saw a playground. We should go play on it." Noelle suggested.

"No, playgrounds are for babies. Let's have a snack instead." Noelle knew she'd say no, but she couldn't argue with Sammy. She might squash her. Sammy took out a plate and put Chip's Ahoy cookies on it along with some Oreos. She then poured two tall glasses of whole milk and placed them on the kitchen table. Noelle knew she had to be polite and eat a bit, but she was repulsed. Of course Sammy would have whole milk, not even two percent. Noelle knew whole milk was filled with tons of fat. And the cookies were even more fattening than the milk. She took one look at the Oreos and felt like gagging. Just thinking of the center filling repulsed her. It looked like fat. She knew it was a mixture of Crisco and sugar. So, she took a chocolate chip cookie instead. She ate it slowly. Sammy on the other hand was dipping various cookies in the tall glass of milk and stuffing them in her mouth. Repulsed by the crumbs and milk, Noelle stopped eating her cookie. "Is that all you're going to eat?" Noelle nodded, feeling sick watching the food churned up in Sammy's mouth as she spoke. She knew it would all just add onto her fat and then Josh would never stop picking on her.

"Yes. I'm not very hungry." Noelle said and watched Sammy put the dishes in the sink.

"You're never hungry. Let's go watch some television." They entered the living room and two hours went by with the two just sitting there and watching television. Noelle had energy she needed to burn, but forced herself to stay still anyway.

"Sammy," A woman, Sammy's mother, entered the room. "Aren't you going to introduce me to your new friend?" Like Sammy, her mother was big but she wasn't as round and her fingers didn't look as stiff. But she had a huge butt. If Noelle's mother saw this woman, she'd probably get physically sick and throw up just like when they saw a five hundred pound man on television a while back. Noelle wondered how this family even got to where they were. Didn't they have self control?

"Sorry mom. This is Noelle, Noelle this is my mom." She gestured and turned the volume of the television down.

"Hello Noelle. I'm Mrs. Brown. Pleased to meet you." She could tell that Mrs. Brown was looking at Noelle's thin frame in jealousy or maybe even disgust. It was probably jealousy because her daughter was so big.

"Nice to meet you too." Noelle used that pretty smile of hers to hide the repulsion on the inside. She watched as her arms jiggled up and down as she walked towards them and sat on the couch next to Sammy.

"Aren't you just a cute little thing?" Mrs. Brown said to Noelle.

"I know, she is really cute isn't she?" Sammy agreed and pat Noelle on the head again. Noelle just smiled. She felt as if she was a baby and they were cooing over her.

"Will you be staying for dinner?" She could tell Mrs. Brown seemed to like her. Or she wanted to watch her eating habits. Noelle didn't know what to say. She ate a cookie. She couldn't afford to eat dinner. But she found herself nodding yes and watched Sammy's eyes light up.

"Oh, that is so fabulous!" She clapped her chubby hands together. "Let's watch a movie until dinner's ready." More TV? What was wrong with Sammy? Who could watch that much television in one day let alone one afternoon? Noelle sighed but she didn't realize it until Mrs. Brown said something.

"Sammy, why don't you ask Noelle what she'd like to do?" She watched Sammy roll her eyes.

"Noelle, what would you like to do?"

"Umm, I'd like to go play on the playground outside." She said. "But it doesn't matter. You can choose what we should do."

"That sounds like a great idea, Noelle. Sammy, I'll call you when dinner's ready."

Sammy sighed and glared at Noelle as the two put on their shoes and jackets. Noelle was glad to get out in the fresh air. She began climbing on the equipment and going on the monkey bars. "How is this fun?" Sammy sulked on the bottom of the slide.

"If you come up here and actually slide down the slide it's fun. Sitting there isn't." But Sammy refused to go on the playground equipment. Noelle didn't mind because she was having fun. She heard Sammy's mother shout for them to come inside for dinner an hour or two later. They came in and out their jackets and shoes away. Noelle sat in a chair next to Sammy. She saw the buffet of food in front of her; pasta, chicken parm, a salad, ranch and Italian salad dressings, and a lot of Italian bread that was cut and already buttered. That was a lot of food.

"What would you girls like to drink?"

"Coke." Sammy answered happily and began eating the food on her plate.

"Water please." At least that was safe. Water was no calories no matter what, so she was glad when she saw the glass of the clear fluid behind her plate.

"Do you know what water's name is chemistry wise?" Mrs. Brown asked.

"I believe it is dihydrogen monoxide." Noelle said and watched the fat family eat a if it was a race to see who could finish first.

"Exactly. How did you know that?"

"My oldest brother Henry told me that when he was still in high school when he took chemistry."

"Oh, that is interesting." Mrs. Brown didn't seem like she was racing anymore and focused more on the conversation. "Where is he now?"

"He goes to Upperton University."

"Oh, that is interesting." Was everything interesting to this woman just like everything was fabulous for Sammy? "Do you have any other siblings?"

"Actually yes, twin brothers that are younger and another brother who's older."

"The only girl, huh? Interesting, I had four brothers myself and no sisters too. Except I was the youngest." Noelle nodded and began eating her salad. She then picked at the chicken, scraping the breading off of it and the cheese which just looked like cooked fat to her. She didn't touch her bread or pasta. That was just too much to eat. "Is that all you're eating?"

"I told you she's not a big eater." Sammy said and helped her mother clear the table. Before anyone else could pick at her eating habits, Noelle said,

"I should be going now. I don't want my dad to worry." She had gotten up from the table.

"But you'll miss dessert!" Sammy said. "We can have chocolate sundaes!"

"I'm not really all that hungry. Besides, we have school tomorrow."

"Noelle has a point, Sam." Mrs. Brown said. "How are you getting home?"

"I'm walking." She said.

"But it's dark out. I'll drive you home." Noelle couldn't argue with an adult because she knew that brought on pain and bruises. So, she gathered her things and got into the back seat of the car. She buckled herself in. Sammy sat next to her. She noticed how much she had to stretch out the seatbelt. Noelle didn't really like how she noticed people's weight like this and how much it bothered her.

When they pulled up to her house, Mrs. Brown had to comment on how beautiful her house was. She thanked her of course, and said goodbye to Sammy. When she entered the house, she wondered why Sammy liked her so much. Was it because she didn't openly criticize her? Noelle thought the same things other kids said out loud about her. Did that make her a terrible person? Maybe.

The next day after school, Noelle was picked up by her father. She thought it was odd because she always walked home. However, she remembered that her father had said he was taking her out shopping after school. Had he really taken the day off from work to take her out to the mall? She quietly entered his car and sat in the back seat. "Why don't you come and sit in the front?" Her father asked. Noelle knew she was nowhere near the weight requirement, but she did as she was told and got in the front seat. "How was school?" Was he really taking an interest in her day?

"It was good." She replied and smiled that smile that tricked everyone around her. Sammy had been too eager to invite her over again. But Noelle said she was busy and couldn't. Luckily, Sammy believed her little white lie.

"Now today, I don't want you to think about prices or the quantity of clothes you want. Just hand me anything you want and I'll buy it. I did the same thing for your brothers yesterday, so it's only fair, right?" Since when had he ever been fair? But Noelle loved the man her father had become. He was treating her like a person; like a daughter. That was all she ever really wanted.

He called her "his little princess" all day. She bought bags of clothes. She liked shopping. She hadn't done so since her mother left. It was like filling the hole. But she knew that all of these clothes couldn't fill the hole her mother had created. Nothing ever could. She knew she'd feel half empty the rest of her life. But she knew it was okay because hurting made her feel alive, just like the snow and the cold air numbing her.

"I think it's time you got yourself a training bra." Her father said quietly. Noelle looked down at her flat chest.

"But why?" She questioned him. She didn't really fear him anymore. Well, not as much anyway.

"Because it'll get you used to real bras for when you get older. Your mother wanted to get you one but unfortunately, she left before she could buy you one." Her father explained.

"Well, okay." She blushed. This was embarrassing. Especially when her father decided to bring it up in the Go City mall. He mainly picked them out. She didn't really know what she was doing. He picked out some with a small amount of lace on it. He said those were the only ones left in her size. She saw he was right. The other ones were too big for her. He made her try them on. They fit perfectly. Of course, she had to show him what they looked like on her because she didn't know how they were supposed to fit. Her father let her pick out some underwear. She figured since they were out, he had a point.

Christmas came and went. Henry never showed up for the holidays like he said he would, but he did call on her birthday. Despite Henry's absence, she had the best Christmas ever. The day after Christmas was her birthday, so they celebrated it like a normal family. Normal. She was beginning to love saying that about her family. For two weeks, she was able to feel normal. The tips of her fingers were healing and she wasn't picking at them anymore. She began eating a little more too. It was hard to resist dinner now that she was able to eat fully cooked meals.

So, it was the night of her birthday. She had just eaten some birthday cake and watched a movie of her choice. She chose a girly one and the boys had to suffer through it. She pulled the blankets up over her chest and only her head was showing.

Around eleven at night, she woke up to the sound of her door opening. She pulled the covers up to her chin, but relaxed when she saw it was her father. "Daddy?" She smiled. "What are you doing?"

"Do you trust me?" He asked her as he shut the door and sat at the bottom of her bed. She thought about the question. Before, she would have said she didn't, but now she didn't know what to say. She hadn't felt this loved by her father ever.

"I think so…why?" She asked him. She had become more charismatic and more comfortable in her own skin over the past month or so.

"Because I need you to do something for me." Noelle rubbed her eyes and nodded.

"What is it?" She asked him. He crawled on top of her. His breath smelled like alcohol. Had he been drinking again? He began pulling her shirt over her head. She froze in fear and let him take off her clothes except her trainer's bra and underwear. She had fallen asleep in her clothes. "What are you doing?" She said in almost a whisper.

"Loving you. You want me to love you, right?"

"Daddy, you're drunk." She stated. She had seen him drunk before. But he had never acted like this towards her. He leaned on his elbows and stared at her. He took his left and ran it down her skin, touching it lightly. "Stop it, daddy." She cried. "Stop it."

That night, he had taken something away from a ten year old. Noelle cried herself to sleep when her father left. He told her not to tell anyone or she'd be taken away and she'd never see her brothers again.

School had started again and Noelle had to act as if nothing was happening with her father. It was easier than she had thought. All she had to do was keep quiet. She began to pick at the skin behind her fingers again. They became raw and bled sometimes. They hurt more than she remembered but she would just pinch herself somewhere on her body and then her body would focus more on that pain.

Nobody hit her anymore. She didn't carry bruises from that. But she would have bruises from the nights her father decided to have his way with her. She started going to school late again. Mrs. Smith wasn't too pleased with that and threatened her she'd get a detention if she wasn't careful. Noelle would just smile and nod. A detention wouldn't be a punishment for her, it would give her an excuse not to go home.

She had gotten quieter. She didn't notice it until Sammy brought it up because Noelle hadn't been replying to her with her usual short answers. "You know, if you don't respond I won't be your friend anymore. You'll be friendless." Noelle didn't respond. She sat there with her hands seemingly folded on her desk, but she was picking at the skin behind her fingernails again and Sammy knew it. "If you don't stop picking your own skin off and if you don't talk to me I'm not going to be your friend." Noelle didn't say anything. She didn't care if she didn't have any friends due to the fact that she knew she could survive without them. "I'm not your friend anymore." Sammy told her. Noelle was glad there was a seat change.

She now sat next to a boy named Tyler. She had never spoken to him before and she didn't even think he knew she existed. Tyler was kind of tall for his age, but not freakishly tall. He had dark skin and short dark brown hair. His eyes were chocolate brown and he had a smile that could light up a room. He was thin, but strong. Nobody really messed with him and he didn't mess with anyone else. Noelle noted he was good and English and, well just about everything else. He would always look at her funny, as if she was diseased or something. But then it would turn into some kind of sympathy. She wondered why because he didn't know about her home life. He couldn't unless she let something slip from her mouth. Nope, she didn't because she rarely spoke.

After school on a Thursday in late January, he pulled her over to him before she made the turn to go walk home. Her scream was silent. Her mouth opened to scream, but nothing came out except a breath of warm air that she could see in the cold winter air. "Hey, is everything okay?" He asked her with concern. She tilted her head slightly to the left in confusion and picked the skin on her fingertips again out of habit and fear. She hoped he didn't sense her anger that she suppressed inside of her. It stayed there and sometimes it hurt. She never let her anger out.

"Wh-why do you ask?" She stuttered. She didn't have a stuttering problem, so he knew she was lying.

"Because you always seem so nervous. Follow me. It's too out in the open to talk right here." Tyler took her hand and led her to the top of the biggest slide on the playground where there was a little part with a roof over it, that little triangular one common above an average playground slide. She found herself sitting down next to him. "I know something is going on that you aren't telling anyone. What's wrong?"

"Absolutely nothing. I don't know why I even followed you here." Noelle began to stand up, but she was pulled back down.

"My parents abuse me, too." He said and looked up into her big blue eyes. "I know what you're going through. See?" Tyler pulled his sleeve up and showed her a large cut that looked as if it was in the process of healing. "It was a knife." Noelle found herself sitting beside him. She wondered how he could be so open about it.

"I'm so sorry." She said.

"Don't be. It isn't your fault. I don't just tell anyone you know. About my parents, I mean. Nobody would understand, but I think you would. Do your parents hurt you too?"

"Yes. My daddy. My mommy ran away."

"Mine died when I was born. My dad blames me for it. But I'm not stupid anymore. I know it isn't my fault." Tyler explained.

"My daddy used to be physically abusive towards me but then he stopped a month after mommy left. And then he stopped, completely taking advantage of me, trying to get me and my brothers to trust him." Noelle stood up and started pacing, her voice getting louder as she spoke. "And then I trusted him and then he does something to me that I can't even describe without even falling apart! He started to do things to me no father should do to their daughter. And he he…" She started to break down and cry. Tyler hugged her, knowing kind of what she meant.

"Doesn't it feel better to let it all out? Your anger I mean."

"It…kind of does." She admitted. "You won't tell anyone will you?"

"Of course not. I know what it's like remember. I've been wanting to talk to you for such a long time, Noelle." She smiled at him. Not that fake one, but a real one and it felt good to smile even through her tears. "It feels good to let it all out. I do it all the time with my brother. And sometimes I start to punch things like my bed or a stuffed animal. It helps a lot." Noelle nodded.

"I should get going." She said.

"Same. But don't let your dad get to you. Stay strong. See you tomorrow."

Noelle had felt a connection with that boy. They happened to have more in common than she thought at first. It was nice to know that there was someone else almost like her. They began to hang out on the weekends more often. She was glad when he would actually play on the playground with her. It was much more fun than playing with Sammy whom just sat around and seemed to grow horizontally every day. Sammy made it obvious she didn't approve of Noelle's new friendship. She had come up to her one day at recess and pulled her aside. "I don't like you hanging out with him, Noelle."

"I thought you said we weren't friends." She crossed her arms. Noelle knew she was developing more of a backbone. Her self esteem and confidence had increased. She now knew that there was nothing wrong with her in the first place. She wasn't alone.

"Yeah, well I made a mistake. I think we should hang out more don't you agree?" Sammy had said and smiled that ridiculous one that made her cheeks look as if they'd explode fat all over Noelle's pretty face. Sammy was probably expecting her to agree with her like she had in the past. She liked Noelle because she had been passive; a doormat. "Besides, don't you agree that Tyler is a freak? I mean, he's black! Black people are unintelligent freaks." Noelle's skinny fingers formed fists which she had never done in the past.

"No, I don't agree with you. I never have agreed with you! And you never, ever say that about Tyler again, you hear?" Noelle yelled at her. People had gathered around and watched them go back and forth, just insulting each other. Tyler stood behind Noelle and smiled, glad that she was finally standing up with herself.

"Black people aren't good for your kind, Noelle." Sammy tried to 'reason' with her which just made Noelle even madder than she was. Last night was a brutal night and she didn't want to deal with this controlling girl ever again.

"Listen to me, and listen to me good. You are just some racist white piece of fat fuck trash. And if you think I am going to let you boss me around and make fun of my best friend, well then you've got another thing coming." Noelle yelled at her. She felt anger completely take over. Kids gasped at her language and how the sweet quiet little girl handled herself. Nobody ever thought that a small little blonde haired blue eyed girl would ever say the things she just said. Most of the kids didn't even know what the f word was. Noelle had her father to thank for that one.

"I'm telling Mrs. Smith." Sammy cried and attempted to run off towards their teacher who sat under a tree. Noelle felt the anger leave her. Panic took over instead. The audience left and went back to go play. Tyler saw that she began to cry because of what she said.

"I didn't mean it. Really, I just didn't-"

"You got angry. It happens. She did say some pretty horrible things. Just tell Mrs. Smith what happened." Tyler said and rubbed her small shoulders.

"Mrs. Smith hates me and she adores Sammy. I'm pretty much dead." Noelle admitted.

"What's the worse she can do? Give you detention? Suspend you? I mean, it's not like your dad would care. Suspending you would be some kind of joke." Tyler was right, Noelle thought. She was glad he was around to knock some common sense into her. Why did she even fear detention or Mrs. Smith in the first place? Speaking of her, Mrs. Smith looked at Noelle angrily and grabbed her small little hand. Tyler waved to her sadly. She smiled back at him. She didn't care what Mrs. Smith was going to do to her. It couldn't be worse than what her father does to her most of the nights.

She was led into the classroom. "Sit." Mrs. Smith commanded. Noelle listened and sat down with tears falling from her face. "I will not tolerate this kind of language or any bullying at all, do you hear me young lady?"

"You don't know the first thing about bullying." Noelle said under her breath. Unfortunately, Mrs. Smith heard it.

"Excuse me? Noelle, since when have you gotten lippy?" Mrs. Smith said to her, surprised.

"You heard me. And no, you are not excused."

"Noelle, do I need to send you to the principal's office?"

"Go ahead, maybe he knows more about bullying. Look, I only called her those names because she was basically saying black people are terrible people. And I don't like racism. And neither does my daddy." She glared at her teacher, almost threatening her with those pretty blue eyes. "For the first half of the year, you watched Sammy manipulate me and boss me around till no end. And now you're sticking up for her? Honestly, I thought you were better than that Mrs. Smith." Noelle said, and found herself standing in front of the desk with both of her palms on it.

"Miss Gordon, how dare you! Making up these lies." She was actually surprised that this girl was even talking back to her. Most children feared her and she liked it. Noelle had once feared her, but it seemed as if fear wasn't even an option for an emotion. All she saw was anger from the scrawny blonde.

"I am not lying, Mrs. Smith. I wouldn't lie like that."

"You have the means to lie and come in late every day."

"Is that all you care about? Me coming in late to school? Well, I have my reasons."

"What are they?"

"You wouldn't understand." Noelle said. She didn't want to tell the truth and tell her that she covers up the bruises or throws up in the morning thinking about what her father had done to her the night before.

"Try me, Noelle. Just try me."

"It's not any of your business."

"If you don't tell me, I will have the principal suspend you for fowl language and unexcused tardiness."

"Do it." Noelle said. She watched Mrs. Smith walk up to the phone located in the classroom and put in the number for the principal. As she listened to her speak into the phone, Noelle felt as if she was free.

One April night, her father had gone too far. He was hurting her more than usual. He had physically abused her and had his way with her two times and was going for a third that night. It was the first night Noelle had let herself become weak and scream. She knew her brothers would hear her despite being all the way on the other end of the hallway in her father's room. Her father kept doing what he was doing, enjoying her screams of agony and fear.

She felt the weight of her father being pulled off of her. It was dark, so she didn't know what was going on. She heard punches and someone fall to the floor. She was hoping it was her father who had fallen. She freaked out when she saw someone of about the same height, a man, stand in front of her. She grabbed the blankets and pulled them close to her chin. Her whole body ached when she moved, but she didn't care at the moment. "Noelle, it's okay. It's me." She immediately recognized the voice of her oldest brother, Henry. Despite what had happened, she smiled genuinely at him. He brought her into a hug. "No one will ever do this to you again, do you hear me? Nothing like this will ever happen again."

The rest of that night and the days following it was a blur. She remembered speaking to some policemen about the incident, but she blocked it out of her mind. She hated talking about that. Talking about that didn't make her feel any better.

She and her brothers missed two weeks of school. Within those two weeks, Henry had moved them all into an apartment across town. She wondered how he could even afford an apartment when he was only eighteen himself. She didn't ask though. She was just glad to get out of that tainted house where everything went wrong. She knew that Henry wouldn't abuse her and her other brothers. She had used to talk to a man with glasses that was in the apartment adjacent to her house. She never said goodbye to him. He was a nice guy. She'd ask him questions, he would answer. But he was gone forever now. She didn't really want to know who he was but she silently thanked him for the good times they had (even though they had to shout across from their windows).

Noelle had to share a room with Michael, the twins shared one, and Henry had his own. The apartment wasn't too bad; she'd adjust to it. And with her father gone, she was content. Her fingers had almost healed again within those two weeks. Henry had temporary guardianship of the four of them. He was going to go to court to sue her father for custody. The police tried to track down their mother, but they couldn't find her. Henry explained to them that their mother had abandoned them.

Noelle knew Henry had sacrificed a lot. He had to drop out of college in Upperton so that he could focus on his younger siblings. He had gotten a full time job at Bueno Nacho and had to support himself and four children on a minimum wage salary. Noelle felt so guilty that she had given him a couple of hundred dollars she had saved up over the years. It took him a while to accept it, but he eventually did. Michael had even given up his money too. The twins had no idea what was going on, but all they knew was that they didn't have to be afraid anymore.

Henry had explained to her that the situation they were in was personal and the school didn't know what had happened to her; it just looked as if she moved in with her brother temporarily so she didn't have to explain anything to anyone once she went back to school. She was glad because she didn't want the whole world to know about their situation. She didn't think any of her brothers did.

Noelle had learned that Michael had been physically abused by their father when she wasn't around. He had the scars to prove it. Henry beat himself up about all of this. He kind of blamed himself because he wasn't home as often as he should have been and he should have known how bad it was going.

It was time for Noelle to go back to Go City Elementary. When she entered the class, everyone asked her where she had been and why she had moved to an apartment. She didn't answer them. She had told Tyler about it though last weekend, but he was an exception. He told her he was glad she had gotten out of that horrible mess. "And I thought I had it bad." He had said.

Noelle took her seat next to Tyler. Of course, she was late again but Mrs. Smith only glared and didn't say anything to embarrass her on her first day back. She was very silent again. She had nothing to say to anyone except Tyler with whom she joked around with. Sammy had come up and bombarded her with questions, but she ignored her. Funny, it looked like Sammy had gained more weight if that was even possible. Noelle knew that she had gained some weight but she knew that she had needed to once Tyler knocked some sense into her. He did that a lot. She was still a bit underweight, but she looked a lot healthier. She learned to eat when she was hungry and feeling full didn't mean she was fat.

At the end of the day, Mrs. Smith asked her to stay for a moment. "I'll meet up with you Tyler." She smiled at him, he smiled back.

"Okay. I'll see you soon." He went off, probably to the top of the slide where they went after school.

"Even when you move closer to the school, you manage to be late. And on your first day back. Explain to me your excuse this time, Miss Gordon." Noelle got angry. How dare she even say any of that? She didn't know what she had went through. Her hands went into fists and she expressed her anger. After almost a year with Mrs. Smith made her want to scream. She had made her feel worse than she had already felt. All of the scolding she had gotten because she was late to school because she brought her twin brothers to school…she couldn't take it anymore. Noelle cracked.

"How dare you say any of that! Do you just hate me or something? Do you think I'm an incompetent fool who doesn't know that I'm late almost every day?" She yelled at her teacher.

"Are you going to speak to me like this young lady? You think you'll get away with this?" She snapped.

"Yes, I think I will. I don't have to listen to you, Mrs. Smith. I'm not afraid of you like every other kid in the school. You're fear tactic won't work anymore!" By the words she was using, she sounded smart; very intelligent. She acted more like an adult sometimes even though she was only ten. "I can't take you're constant nagging over and over again. I've been through a lot. More than you probably ever went through. Want to know why I was late every day? Hmm? I was late because my father would beat me, then I'd have to hide the bruises, then I'd walk my brothers to school, and then I'd come here! And when I went home, I got even more beatings and more bruises and cuts. In the fall, my stupid mother literally ran away and left us home with an abusive father so Michael and I had to step up with the twins!

"And it gets even better. My father tricked me into loving him and trusting him. But guess what? It was just some sick joke. He started to touch me and do things to me that was even worse than abuse. The policeman told me it was called rape. And finally I get out of it, move in with my older brother Henry. Things started to look better for me but then you pull this tardy crap on me. I can't take it anymore! I just can't take it…" Noelle broke down and callapsed onto the floor. Mrs. Smith had no idea she had been through so much. She knelt down next to Noelle and brought the broken girl into her arms.

"I am so sorry, I had no idea…Are you telling the truth?"

"Why would I lie about this Mrs. Smith? Why would I?" She cried into the older woman's shirt.

"I'm so so sorry." Mrs. Smith said and rocked her back and forth. "Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"If I did, then me and my brothers would be separated. I didn't want that. And I didn't want Henry to do what he's doing now."

"Shhh…it's all right now." Mrs. Smith said and had somehow pulled Noelle onto her lap. She never realized how thin she really was.

"It's just so hard. I-I've never had it easy."

"I know, I know." She rubbed her back in a motherly fashion. "I'm sorry I was so hard on you, Noelle."

Noelle held Henry's hand as she entered the courtroom and sat down on a chair slightly off to the side from her brother and his lawyer. Michael had been there the day before. Noelle didn't understand why she was needed other than to answer some questions. She was nervous, but Michael just told her to be brave and answer the questions. He said it was easy. And since they were underage, he said the judge was very easy on him and there was no doubt that Henry would win otherwise.

A few days ago, Noelle was afraid to go to court. She had told Tyler what was going on. He told her to tell the truth no matter what. She agreed with him, but now that she was forced to sit in the chair to the left of the judge, she was freaking out. Her father was there and staring at her. She didn't know if she should tell the truth. If she did, her father would surely get her later in life. But Tyler had told her not to lie and she was sworn in to tell the truth. She couldn't lie to the nice judge that was staring down at her.

Her father's lawyer began to question her and she lost her voice. She couldn't answer them. She was confused by what he was saying. She heard him use a double-no-triple negative. She didn't know how to answer that question. She didn't know if the judge would even catch that. So, she didn't say anything. "Answer the questions, Noelle." The judge urged.

"I-I can't." She confessed.

"Why not? Is it because you're lying about what happened to you that night?" Her father's lawyer asked. He was trying to make her look bad in front of the judge and she knew it. Her father was a monster, but nobody else really knew that except Michael and her other brothers.

"No, it's because I don't understand what you are asking." She said and looked at her feet that failed to reach the ground from the chair.

"He's asking you why your father, being so high in society and so well respected, would do this to you." The judge said. She looked over at the judge and nodded.

"Well…I really don't know why he would do it."

"Just say everything that comes to mind about the situation."

"Well…he used to hit me before my mommy ran away. Then he hit me after she left. And then he started to buy me things and call me his little princess, cupcake, pumpkin, those kind of things. And then on my tenth birthday, he started to…what's the word? I think it's rape. Yeah, he raped me." Noelle said. She was surprised how easy it was to talk about after she had told Tyler multiple times. He was right, yet again, that talking about things like that makes it a lot easier.

"So he began to rape you on December twenty sixth?"

"Yes your honor." Noelle said.

"Your brother Michael had mentioned that your father bought you training bras a few weeks before. Is this correct?"

"Yes." Noelle blushed, not fully comfortable to say that she wore them.

"And where did he touch you? Use that doll right there to show me."

"Here and here and…pretty much all over." She said pointing to the various parts of the doll. She was surprised that she hadn't broken down like the last times she had talked about it.

"Wouldn't you be crying right now, Noelle? I have dealt with cases almost like this one. Grown women are known to cry during these trials. How come you seem to be so content with this?" The lawyer asked her.

"I have been talking about it with my friend Tyler. And I told my teacher one day after school. I already cried enough."

"She's a smart girl, Mr. Gordon." She said to her brother. He nodded and said,

"I know." She could tell by that fact that she wasn't bawling over it that the judge didn't believe her anymore.

"Listen, I understand why you don't believe me. But I have no reason to lie. I'm not a liar. I was upset about it, but I got over it. I talked about it and I have no need to shed anymore tears because of him."

"Oh, I believe you, sweetie. I know you aren't lying." The judge said and before Noelle knew it, Henry was granted full custody of her and Michael, Aaron, and Aidan.

While she waited for Henry to finish things up, her father had been able to talk to her. "Listen to me good. I will get you for this." He was then taken away. Would he get her for it? She didn't know but she didn't have to worry because he'd be locked up behind bars. That was all she cared about for the moment.

A few years had gone by. Noelle was glad to be ending eighth grade with a normal, stable life. She wasn't afraid of anything anymore. She no longer had nervous habits, like the one where she'd peel the skin off of the tips of her fingers. Just thinking about it made her feel sick to her stomach. She couldn't believe she had done things like that. She was glad that her height had caught up with the rest of the girls in her grade. She liked to be an average girl. Sure, she had more responsibilities than people her age due to the fact she lived with her oldest brother, but she was very confident with herself. She was still skinnier than most people though. But she felt okay about that because she didn't starve herself anymore.

She had gained many friends left and right since she had started middle school. She had been told middle school was the worst years of anyone's life but for her, it had been great. Of course like everyone else she had gone through her awkward stage during seventh and eighth grade. On a positive note, she'd be starting high school with a B cup chest.

Tyler was still her best friend. They had been inseparable since day one. So, when he spoke to her after school and said he was going away, Noelle was almost devastated. And Noelle Marie Gordon wasn't known to cry anymore. "What do you mean you're leaving? We're going to start high school in a month. You can't just leave!"

"I have to, Noelle. I can't stay with my dad anymore. It's getting out of hand. I have to leave." Tyler said. His voice had gotten somewhat deep and he luckily didn't squeak when he spoke.

"But…you can't leave now. You can last four more years, can't you?" She asked.

"I would like to think so. But I can't. I hate the dysfunction. You wouldn't understand."

"What do you mean I wouldn't understand?" She asked, completely surprised by his previous statement. "I was in a situation like yours you know."

"Not for three, four years now. I think you forgot what it was like."

"How could I even forget what it was like? It was torture, but I wouldn't run away." Noelle said. They were fighting now and she didn't like where it was going. She leaned into his chest and let him hold her. "Take me."

"I can't take you with me. I won't put you through that." Tyler said.

"No, not that. I know you wouldn't take me with you even though I'd go with you in a heartbeat." She said. "I mean, I want you to…"

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" He asked her.

"Depends what you're thinking." She smiled up at him.

"I think you're thinking that you want to have sex with me." Tyler said.

"You guessed correctly." She said and grabbed his hand. She forced him to run with her for seven blocks until they reached the condo complex where she and her brothers had moved to once they could afford the bigger space. Noelle had her own room in the basement. Her and Michael had fought over it, but she had received it because she was a girl and she had to live with four boys. So, she had gotten it easily.

Noelle playfully pushed her onto her queen sized bed that she had bought with her own money. She straddled him and began to kiss him passionately. She began to wish she had been romantically involved with him when he wasn't going to run away. "What about your brothers?" Tyler asked her between kisses. "Especially Henry. He'll kill me."

"Relax. The twins are still in school, Michael told me he was going to his boyfriend's house, and Henry won't get out of work until seven. We're safe." She began kissing him again.

"But what about…you know…I don't want to get you pregnant."

"Does it matter?" She smiled. Noelle was taken by surprise when Tyler flipped her over and he took control. They began to undress and they were eventually wearing nothing. Noelle began to explore his body. She had gotten on her knees on the floor while Tyler sat on the bed. She took his manhood in her hand and began giving him a hand job. She felt it getting harder, so she began to lick it, teasing him. She smiled amusingly at his moans of pleasure. She took it and put her mouth on it.

"You've got to stop." Tyler said because this wave of intense pleasure was new to him. He forced her to get on the bed. She knew he'd make her suffer this time. He put his hands on her breasts and kneaded them and put his mouth on her left breast. He took one of his hands off and began going south. She didn't really know what he was doing, but whatever it was it felt good. She began to rock her hips up and down when he began licking her.

"Tyler, please…" She said. He went on top of her and stared down at her.

"Are you sure?"

"It was my idea, wasn't it? Now please get on with it." She smiled at him. He obliged by slowly thrusting into her. Needless to say, she loved every moment of it. She knew it was probably just sex, not the whole love making experience, but she didn't care. Noelle found that she loved it when he did this to her.

When they were finished, they had gotten under the covers. She didn't want him to let go for some reason. She made sure he was holding her. "Do you really have to go?" She asked him.

"I do." Tyler said. "And who knows? Maybe I'll see you again."

"When are you leaving?"

"Tonight. It's for the best. I don't want to end up dead like my brother. I don't want to end up ending my own life because of my dad's stupid behavior."

"I understand." She said and nuzzled her head in his chest.

Suddenly, the door to her room flew open and her two youngest brothers came into the room. "Get out!" She yelled at them and threw a few stuffed animals at them. Aidan immediately ran back up the stairs.

"What are you doing?" Aaron asked and blocked the pillows from hitting his face.

"Nothing now leave!" She yelled at her seven year old brother.

"I'm telling Henry!" He laughed and slammed the door behind him.

"I am in trouble." Noelle said and sat up. Her face was flushed from embarrassment and she held her head in her hands.

"Hey, you'll be fine. The worst he can do is ground you." Tyler said and rubbed her back.

"I guess you're right." Noelle smiled up at him. "And besides, you leaving me is punishment enough."

"Sorry." He said and kissed her.

Later that night, saying goodbye to Tyler was the hardest thing Noelle had ever had to do. There were a lot of tears on her part and a lot of apologies from Tyler. However, they ended on a good note.

Noelle had been grounded for the rest of the summer after a very long and awkward talk with Henry. She wasn't able to face her brothers for a few days after the incident. It was extremely awkward considering all Michael did was make inappropriate remarks. Since she wasn't allowed to leave the house, she found herself spending more and more time with Aaron and Aidan and less time with Michael with whom she used to spend more time with. Michael had become increasingly annoying. However, she still listened to him and some of his troubles in school. Michael was homosexual, so some kids weren't too fond of that and sometimes would pick a fight with him. But there were more people who liked him though. He had seemed to be friends with every girl in the school.

As the years had passed, Noelle began to see Henry as more of a parent figure. But she still loved him just as much and even looked more up to him. He was everything her parents weren't. But she wondered how he coped with it considering he didn't have any parental figures to look up to. She felt bad for him, so she'd help him with the twins as much as she could.

One morning, in late August, she began throwing up. At first, she didn't know what was wrong with her. She made assumptions she had gotten the flu. But Henry knew better. It wasn't even flu season. And it was the end of summer. "You're probably pregnant." He said.

"What? I can't be!" She exclaimed.

"It only takes a sperm and an egg and considering both of you were inexperienced, it's possible." Henry said and handed her a pregnancy test.

"This is beyond weird." She said and took the rectangular box from him. But she didn't find herself getting embarrassed. After all, it was last summer when she had woken up with blood all over her sheets and she had to get him to go get her some feminine products. "I'm not even in high school yet." She groaned.

"Just take the test. I could be wrong, you know."

"I hope you are." Noelle said and went into the bathroom. She read the directions and did what she had to do. She stepped out of the bathroom after placing the test on the counter. "Ten minutes." She said. She still didn't believe that she was pregnant. It didn't sink in that it was a possibility. What did Henry know anyway? He was a guy and didn't know how girl's bodies worked. So, she was convinced she had the flu even though she felt fine for the moment.

Ten minutes passed and she picked up the test. Two lines. She looked at the box for the key. One line was a negative, two was a positive. She dropped it on the floor and just stood there, staring at her reflection in the mirror. She studied her eyes with all of that eyeliner and eye shadow and that piercing blue of her eyes. "Noelle, are you all right?" Henry asked and carefully picked up the pregnancy test on the floor. He went to look at the box but Noelle stopped him before he could.

"You were right." She said and completely broke down and let her brother hold her on the bathroom floor.

"Wherever Tyler is, I'm going to kill him."

"Please don't." She said and gripped his shirt with her slim fingers. "It wasn't even his idea, it was mine. I don't even know why I wanted to. It was weird that I even wanted to."

"I won't." Henry said. "I'm just frustrated, that's all."

"What am I going to do?" She asked him and couldn't even make eye contact. She was ashamed to be in this situation. She was only thirteen; this couldn't be happening to her.

"Well, we'll have to discuss your options. We'll talk tomorrow, okay?"

"Thanks Henry." Noelle said. "I wish I didn't do it; I wish I didn't."

"I know," Henry said and carried his crying sister out of the bathroom. "I know."

The next day while Michael took the twins out to the park, Henry and Noelle sat down to discuss her options. She knew that she couldn't keep the baby because they could barely afford things for themselves. Noelle wanted the baby of course, but she knew that would put a strain on Henry and her other brothers. And she wanted a normal life. She was enjoying it so far and she didn't want it to end. "You can get an abortion." No, she couldn't get that.

"I can't. I don't think I could go through with that."

"But will you be able to get through your first year of high school pregnant? It will be hard. Very hard."

"I know that." She knew she'd be made fun of and people will turn on her. She wasn't stupid. She knew how the world worked. And besides, one of her friends already had a baby in June, so she'd have at least one friend through high school. Noelle couldn't believe she was even part of this whole teen pregnancy issue. She felt so stupid.

"I'm going to tell you now, you cannot keep this baby. You need to come up with something; anything. How about adoption?"

"I need to think." Noelle said and got up from the table and left the condo in which they lived in.

Noelle couldn't believe that a great majority of her friends weren't even there for her. That friend who had the baby in middle school happened to go to a different school because of all of the ridicule and mockery she received. She knew that the teachers looked at her as if she was a slut. Nobody made it easy for her. Michael had made it worse and let her walk the halls by herself where anyone could hurt her. Her pregnancy was showing and she couldn't hide it anymore. Sammy happened to start hanging out with her again. She was the only "friend" she had even though she disliked the girl.

Noelle let herself slip back into that passive, quiet girl again. Except she wasn't invisible anymore. She couldn't be. It was impossible with a bulging abdomen.

"So what are you going to do with it?" Sammy asked, referring to the baby. She had been asking her this question forever. Noelle always answered with an "I don't know" because she really didn't. She knew she was going to put it up for adoption, but she was still deciding whether she wanted an open adoption or not or maybe put the baby in foster care and then take the baby back when she can afford to take care of it. She didn't even know whether the baby was going to be a boy or a girl; she didn't want to know. It would make the decision harder for her when she would refer to it as a he or a she.

As Noelle walked the halls, she couldn't take the people laughing at her and throwing things at her and calling her a slut. She stopped in her tracks and turned around to the person who started it. Her name was Chloe. She had been making her life a living hell. And since it was Noelle's last day at the high school due to her pregnancy, she used her martial arts skills that she was still learning from the old man and fought her. People gathered around and watched the fight. Eventually, a teacher came over and broke it up. He had to literally pull the pregnant teen off of the brunette. With her strength, she pushed the teacher off of her and ran out of the school. She was surprised she could do this considering she was seven months pregnant.

Out of breath, she stopped at Go City central park and sat down on a bench and cried her eyes out. There was no way she'd be able to go back there in June when she was supposed to return. She had no one. This pregnancy was ruining her life that had barely begun. She wondered why she had sex with Tyler. She should have known that it would lead to this. But at the time, she was living for the moment not for the long term effects. She'd be a mother at age fourteen. She hated that she might be turning into her mother. She knew her mother had had Henry when she was fifteen. Noelle was a whole year younger than that. She didn't want to be like her mother. She learned to hate that woman. What was next? Would Noelle get into drugs, marry a man who abused her, pop out tons of kids and abandon them? No, she wouldn't let herself do that. She had to stop this cycle. "Noelle? Is that you?" Her thoughts came to a halt when she heard that familiar voice. She looked up at the older woman who had to be in her fifties or sixties by now.

"Mrs. Smith?" She was surprised to see her. "Shouldn't you be at work?"

"I retired." She said and sat down. "More importantly, what are you doing out of school?"

"I left early. Besides, it was my last day anyway for obvious reasons." Noelle sniffed and tried to keep the tears from falling down. "I thought high school was supposed to be fun, but instead I'm turning into my mother."

"You aren't turning into your mother, okay? What are you going to do?" Noelle knew she meant what she'd be doing about the baby.

"I really don't know. I have to put it up for adoption. But I don't know whether it'd be open or closed. I'm afraid that I'll choose terrible parents for it and then…I don't know. I'm running out of time to decide. My oldest brother is pushing me to make a decision and if I don't make one soon he's making one for me and the father of the baby ran away so I have no idea where he is. I'm just a mess. I want to be able to have the option to take the baby back when I'm ready to take care of it, like when I'm out of college." She paused. "I have no idea why I'm even telling you all of this."

"Don't worry about it." Mrs. Smith said. "You'll figure something out."

"I'm afraid I won't. I wish there was a way for me to know the baby's parents well enough to give it up. But it's too hard. Knowing my luck, I'll choose the worst parents out there and I don't want this baby to be hurt, Mrs. Smith. I really don't."

"How about I adopt the baby?" She said out of the blue.

"I can't ask you to do that." Noelle said, surprised.

"You didn't ask. I offered. I was never able to have one of my own and having someone like a grandchild will be good for me and it'll give me someone to look after instead of myself." She paused. "How about this? I take temporary custody until you are sixteen?"

"That works." Noelle said and rubbed the tears from her eyes. "Thank you so much. I don't know what I'd do without you, Mrs. Smith." Pause. "The baby's father is Tyler Jameson, remember him?"

"Oh yes, you two were great friends. And by the way, Tyler is staying with me. His father happened to pass away about a month ago."

"Really?" Noelle said happily. "Where do you live?"

"In Upperton." Noelle couldn't believe her ears. Upperton was hours away from Go City. Odds are she wouldn't see him because she wouldn't be able to get there. That, and she wasn't allowed to see him because Henry thought she'd go back out and get pregnant again. But she was already pregnant, she had argued with him. He said that it was too risky because in a few months, she'd be able to get pregnant again and if she saw him, the separation would be too hard. She felt as if her life was falling apart, just like her mother's.

A few months later, Noelle had her scheduled cesarean section that Henry forced her to have because he was afraid she'd be too small to actually have the baby naturally. She had given birth to a baby girl whom she named Maelie. She had given her Tyler's last name because she'd be living with Tyler. Reluctantly, she had given the baby up right after she held her. She didn't want to form an attachment with her because then it would just make it harder to wake up in the morning. She was indifferent about the whole situation.

Noelle had formed a thicker shell. And since the shell was thicker, her return to school didn't bother her. People tried teasing her again just like when she had been pregnant, but she would result to violence and most people would leave her alone.

One day after school, Noelle had taken a bus up to Upperton without Henry's permission. Mrs. Smith hadn't been home but Tyler was. She entered the house and the two kissed each other passionately. She saw her daughter there, Maelie, and she had held her but didn't want that connection. It would make it harder to leave Tyler if she made that mother daughter connection. That new shell that she had formed helped her with that.

Since Maelie had been sleeping in her crib, Noelle and Tyler made love in his bed. "Shit." Tyler said and sat up on the bed, facing the wall.

"What is it?" Noelle asked and pulled the blankets over her chest to cover herself up.

"What if I got you pregnant again? I didn't pull out…"

"Listen, I just had a baby two months ago. Odds are, I won't get pregnant again. Just trust me on this, all right?" Noelle said.

"If you say so." Tyler said. "But if you do, what are you going to do with the baby?" He asked her.

"It's not going to happen, Tyler. Relax." She said and massaged his shoulders.

"It might, Noelle. And I would want you to give the baby to me so it could grow up with Maelie."

"If it makes you feel better, I'll do that."

Noelle then went home and went inside her house. She noticed that her brothers weren't there. She wondered where they could be. She looked outside, to the back yard and saw that they were in the stupid tree house. Sighing, she went outside to tell Henry not to worry about her. "Henry, I'm home." She shouted up to the tree house.

"Come up here, Noelle." She heard him shout back. She hated that tree house. Even though she wasn't afraid of heights, she was afraid of that rickety old tree house. She put her hands on her hips, which had gotten slightly wider (and she didn't mind that) and sighed again.

"Come on!" The twins chorused. She couldn't argue with them, so she climbed up the rope ladder and crammed herself in there. She sat down next to Michael who acted as if she was some kind of germ.

"Where were you? In Upperton?" Michael asked. Noelle wasn't so good at lying, so Henry saw right through her. Michael laughed. "I bet she went there to go have sex again." He laughed harder. Noelle noticed her face felt warmer; probably because of the increased blood flow to her head which was probably making her cheeks pink, or maybe even red at this point.

"How could you even think to do that again?" Henry roared. An argument broke out between them. Noelle didn't even know what he was saying because she was screaming at him. Michael's constant laughter rang in her ears. She didn't even notice Aidan poking her arm in worry.

"Noelle!" He screamed. She stopped and looked at the boy who was usually very quiet.

"What is it?" Her tone had completely changed.

"Look!" Aidan pointed to the small window. Noelle felt the twins hug her tightly. Horror struck her face when she saw a brightly colored comet accelerating towards them. She held the twins close to her. The light was getting bright; too bright. It hurt her eyes. She had to close them. Screaming. Heat. Explosion. It was all going too slow for her. It was as if it was too slow to be real. She knew her adrenaline was rushing and her brain was making everything seem slower than it was. She felt herself slamming into the ground, several feet under. She felt as if she was going to go bind because of how bright this comet was. Pain soared through her body. It felt as if every bone in her body was broken, every tendon was being slowly ripped out one by one, and her muscles felt as if they were melting. Then, darkness took over.

So, what did you think? Sorry if it was so long, I tried to make it shorter than it was. Hopefully you guys like it and you'll leave a review? There will be a part 2. It will be about after the comet hit.