Written for Voltron Angst Week Day 6 - Secret. (Which was yesterday, but this was supposed to be shorter. . Whoops.)
Also for my friend M, who shouted 'Pallura!' at me when I told her I had a loose idea for this prompt but hadn't decided on a pairing to flesh it out with yet. (She's also the one who first sold me on this pairing with her own stories.) She also spent a good chunk of time helping me plot out the story once I actually started writing.
"One of these days I'm going to zap him one." Pidge said, scowling at Lance's back as he sauntered out of the library. ". . .again." she qualified, because she had tested out her bayard on him when it was brand new to her hand.
"He's harmless." Allura said, looking surprised. "I've seen many males of various species who act similarly, and there are worse, but Lance is harmless. Occasionally irritating, perhaps, but. . ."
"He's obnoxious." Pidge corrected, and her mouth twisted. "And he's thoughtless about it. It drives me up the wall. Not just because it's you," although Pidge was willing to admit she was a little jealous over Allura, from time to time, because she was brilliant and gorgeous and tough and a princess, "who catches it most of the time, but because he acts like that towards anything female that looks his way."
Allura frowned slightly, fingers gently combing through Pidge's hair. "He doesn't act the same way towards you." she said lightly.
Pidge relaxed under the caresses, letting Allura draw her down into the soft welcome of the large, raised couch. The one in the library was the only one in the Castle which was not sunken into the floor, at least that Pidge had found. It was a curiosity.
"Castle, seal the doors please." Allura instructed as Pidge settled almost lying in her lap, fingers going back to Pidge's hair. She hummed contentedly.
"That's got nothing to do with it, though. Lance doesn't see me that way." Pidge remembered to say, distraction aside. "I'm pretty sure he still thinks 'boy' when he looks at me, even though he knows different now." She thought about that. "And good thing, too, that he doesn't, or I'd have to zap him one, like, every day. Until he stopped. Yeesh." She grimaced.
"I am still surprised that he did not know back at your 'Garrison'." Allura said absently, one elegant fingertip trailing over Pidge's brow. "It seemed that Hunk might have guessed, and kept quiet because it was what you wished."
"Oh, no, Lance definitely did not." Pidge said immediately, snorting. "He used to try and get me to come out with him and Hunk to 'pick up chicks', and not-" She shook her head. "It was definitely a 'guy thing'. I was too busy back then, trying to find my family," her voice wavered, "I should have at least tried, for them. Not the," she waved a hand, clearing her throat, "but to be there for the rest of my team."
"Circumstances were a little different there than here." Allura reminded gently.
"Yeah, I suppose- Hey, wait, I was a perfectly good boy!" Pidge said defensively as she realised what else Allura's statement had implied, crossing her arms and glaring up at her girlfriend.
"I'm sure you were, dear." Allura said peaceably, her lips quirking. "I simply . . . have never seen it." she teased.
"Pfft, you told me you thought the mice were messing with you when they told you I was a girl." Pidge said smugly. "I was a good boy, Snow White."
"You keep saying it that way and I feel like I should be offering you a treat, like a tame miyarl." Allura said, bopping her lightly on the nose. "Good girl Pidge, have a biscuit."
"Miyarl?" Pidge said, curious, before a memory from the training deck connected to the word. Almost as big as her, or bigger; four legs and a spring-like tail; fluffy coat that looked like it was more like feathers than fur in shades of yellow and blue; a big muzzle and dark pink eyes with no whites or pupil. Roughly dog-like she guessed. At least for Alteans. "Ah, miyarl. I didn't know they were domestic pets. The program didn't say."
Allura nodded, lips curving.
"I would take a treat, though. . ." Pidge said, pulling herself upright and settling astride Allura's lap.
"I would not think you would be terribly fond of the bonemeal biscuits we used to give them as treats." Allura said, brows drawing together. "Also I haven't any to hand."
Pidge smothered a laugh and stroked her thumb along Allura's jaw. "Not what I meant." she said playfully, leaning in and gently brushing Allura's lips with her own.
"Ah." Allura smirked, winding a lock of Pidge's hair around her fingers. She didn't say anything else, though, only brought Pidge back to her, meeting her with a slightly firmer, lingering kiss, humming softly.
The doors beeped a protest and the clear blue lights flashed briefly orange around them.
"Allura, we're approaching an inhabited planet, we need you on the bridge." Keith's voice came, somewhat muffled, through the door. Pidge huffed, sitting back. She'd been enjoying her . . . treat. "Coran said to tell you they used to be a . . . mauve class planet."
Allura hissed, and Pidge's brows rose. She opened her mouth to tell Keith they'd be right there, and Allura muffled her before she could speak. She glared. "Don't, Pidge." Allura said quietly. "Thank you, Keith, I will be right there." she called back, louder.
Allura didn't release Pidge until after Keith had - presumably - gone. "Don't what? Don't let him know we were in the library together?" Pidge asked, sliding out of Allura's lap now that she had the freedom to do so. "It's hardly incriminating."
"Locked in together?" Allura countered, straightening her skirts and neatening her hair as she rose. "Alone? It certainly could be."
"It could be." Pidge repeated flatly. "Why-" She huffed. "Why would that be such a bad thing, Allura?" she asked more gently, reaching for her girlfriend's wrist.
"Now is not the time, Pidge." Allura said sharply, pulling out of reach. "It's just not. It's not appropriate." she added a moment later, slightly softer. "I shouldn't even. . ."
"Not appropriate?" Pidge repeated, following Allura out of the library. "What sort of guideline are you looking at? And there's only a handful of us out here; who do you think is going to care? Coran? Lance?"
"It's not, Pidge, leave it alone." Allura said, the sharp edge returning to her voice. "And you shouldn't follow me down to the bridge directly." she added, frowning.
Pidge's eyes narrowed. "You may be the Princess, but you do not get to order me around about this, Allura." she said harshly. "And you're afraid, what, that the others will-"
"Now isn't the time, be quiet." Allura snapped, and Pidge pulled back, jaw set.
"As you wish." Pidge bit out each word, and then turned on her heel. She'd go to the damn bridge from another floor, if that was so important to her girlfriend.
The mauve class planet turned out to have changed a lot in the past ten thousand years - it kept surprising Coran and to a lesser extent Allura when that happened, and Pidge wasn't unsympathetic but really guys, basic reasoning skills - and upon further questioning, they revealed that a mauve class meant danger on the surface, but nothing more threatening.
Nothing to have set Allura off so badly, Pidge thought scathingly to herself. She'd half-hoped- Well. If there had been something else to make Allura anxious, perhaps there would have been another reason to think . . . something behind her sharp, dismissive manner.
The inhabitants had evolved considerably since the Alteans' memory of them, but had thus far largely gone under the radar of the Galra Empire. They were happy to speak with the Paladins of Voltron, and allow them to explore, trade, spend as long as they liked down on the planet.
They didn't stay long, though - they didn't want to lead the Galra forces to the planet themselves. It was nice to have had some peaceful time out of the Castle, though, and fun to poke around the markets.
Although Pidge wished she'd gotten more time with Allura while they were there. Her girlfriend had shied away from her with an uncomfortable look when Pidge tried to clasp her by the arm to lead her off and then snapped at her when she tried to apologise and explain that she'd only wanted to show Allura something.
It had sort of thrown a pall over the rest of the afternoon for Pidge. She avoided Allura - easy enough, she thought sourly - as they returned to the Castle, and since they had all eaten while on the planet, she took her leave from the others quickly, returning to her room for the night. Alone.
Allura was at the door.
Pidge hugged her pillow and looked at the ceiling. Something had woken her and it had taken her a minute or two to figure out what. Her girlfriend was outside her - locked - door and was speaking to her through it.
Allura apologised, her voice soft, though it was loud enough to be heard through the door, and Pidge's heart flopped in her chest. It sort of hurt, though, because Allura might be apologising, but for what?
She'd apologised before, but not for keeping them a secret, not for shutting Pidge down whenever she tried to talk about them - and it wasn't like Pidge loved relationship talks either! - not for shying away from Pidge if anyone else was around.
It was-
The apologies were hard to swallow, sometimes, when they weren't really for what was hurt. Pidge slid reluctantly out of bed, trailing her blanket halfway off after her, and shoved at her hair absently before she reached the door. The lights brightened a bit for her as she crossed the room.
She stood there, looking at it, listening to Allura's quietly pleading voice.
"Hi." Pidge said, opening the door. "Uh. Come in, if you want to talk, I guess."
Allura swept through the door and wrapped Pidge in an embrace, her hair falling around her shoulders as she bent and feathering over Pidge's face and her half-bare shoulder. "Thank you, Pidge." Allura said softly, nuzzling her cheek, and then drew away.
"Uh. You're welcome?" Pidge said, blinking. She didn't feel too tired for this, but Allura could be a little confusing to deal with sometimes. She closed the door and returned to her bed, Allura seating herself elegantly nearby.
Pidge dragged her blanket back off the floor and let it drape in her lap. "What- Why are you sorry?" she asked, swallowing anxiously. "Do you know why I was upset today?"
Allura looked surprised. "I," she paused, mouth tugging down, "rejected you. I am sorry, I know it must have . . . hurt."
"Rejected me. Yes. Sure. You . . . act like you don't want to be around me at all. You let Lance flutter around you, hang off Shiro's arm, spent hours with one of the ambassadors today, but even though we- we should be friends, right?" Pidge said, raising her eyebrows. "It's like you don't want anything to do with me. That's not 'hiding our relationship' that just. . ."
"I do want to spend time with you!" Allura actually looked surprised by Pidge's accusation and Pidge rubbed her face with both hands.
"It seems like you do, sometimes," Pidge said, sighing, "but sometimes. . . You don't want anything to do with me, it feels like."
"That's not true!" Allura said, resting a hand on Pidge's thigh. "Pidge, darling, you can't possibly think that, please tell me you don't."
"I don't want to think that!" Pidge said, stiffening. "But what else can I think, the way you act around me?" she asked, slumping again. "Allura, you act like we're not even friends a lot of the time; like I'm not even one of your Paladins. Not like you used to, before." She brushed her fingertips to her lips.
"Pidge, that's not true. . ." Allura said, looking faintly despairing. "I care for you and I love spending time with you, even when we can't be together like-"
"If you don't want to be with me, then- then don't," Pidge said, swallowing hard, pulling her knees up tight to her body, "but you act like it's fine when we're alone and then you panic whenever anyone might find out, like I'm-" she broke off.
Allura looked upset. "I don't mean any imprecation on you, Pidge. . ." she said softly, reaching out, and Pidge pulled away from her hand. "It is nothing to do with you, only what I have already said-"
"My girlfriend refusing to admit that she spends time with me, terrified that anyone might guess we have a relationship . . . yeah, that has a lot to do with me, Allura." Pidge said sharply. "The way you've been acting lately it's like you would hate anyone to even guess we were friends. And 'it's not appropriate' doesn't really hold. Do you really think any of the others would care? Would be- Why is it not appropriate?"
Allura opened her mouth, then shook her head without speaking.
"Because I'm a girl?" Pidge said, and Allura shook her head again, but Pidge had known that one; she'd looked through the library even though she couldn't read much. And Coran's stories could really meander sometimes. No, Altea had held no prejudices about same-sex relationships, even for royalty. "Because I'm not Altean?" Pidge asked instead.
"No, Pidge, that's not-" Allura's voice broke, and Pidge felt guilty for bringing it up, seeing the agony in her girlfriend's eyes over the death of her people, her planet. "You are a Paladin of Voltron, one of my Paladins, under- under my command. I cannot be seen to- to be with any of you."
". . .are we beneath you somehow?" Pidge asked, more confusion slipping into her upset.
"Yes! No- Not the way you," Allura shook her head, holding out a hand as Pidge recoiled, hurt, "I am your commander, I cannot- Favouritism. . . Pressure!"
". . .I assure you," Pidge said evenly, "I don't feel under any pressure to be with you. You aren't even directly- I mean, you're the Princess, this is your Castle and all, but Shiro is our commander. And we're not exactly your average military anyway." Pidge remembered the Garrison and thought Iverson would break into hives at the 'command structure' on board the Castle. The thought might have made her laugh, any other time.
"Pidge, you know that's not the only consideration. . ." Allura sighed. "We have to-"
"I'd like to go back to sleep now." Pidge said tightly. "Excuse me."
"Pidge?" Allura said, startled.
"Please leave me alone," Pidge said more plainly, "I would like to rest. My commander has scheduled a hard drill in the morning and I'd like the sleep. And," she added, softening a little, rubbing her face, "we are not getting anywhere new talking like this, I'm sure you realise as much as I do."
Allura looked a little cross and a little hurt, but Pidge didn't bend. She rose from the bed, after a moment, moving towards the door. She paused, turning back. "Pidge I- I'm sorry."
"Sorry for what?" Pidge said again, her voice raw. "Just- Go, Allura. I'll talk to you tomorrow. If we get any time alone." she added, swallowing hard.
Allura reached out to her, then stopped, fingers curling back inwards as she sighed.
"Good night, darling." Allura said softly.
"Good night, Princess." Pidge replied, and Allura's head bowed, her hair falling forwards around her face. Then she turned and was gone, Pidge's door closing behind her.
Pidge fell back on the bed, letting her legs drop. She curled around the blanket absently and looked at the wall as the lights lowered again. She hated-
Ugh she hated fighting with people she cared about. Not squabbles, but actual . . . arguments.
Shiro really had scheduled a training session tomorrow, and Pidge and Keith were going to be working on hand-to-hand - while Hunk and Lance worked on marksmanship and speed - so she really would like to be well-rested. She knew she was going to end the workout truly exhausted as it was.
It still took her some time to get to sleep, her mind full of Allura. It was less pleasant than dwelling on thoughts of her girlfriend usually was.
It had been a surprise, but apparently a welcome one, to Allura and Coran when they received the hail. The faintly green alien on the bridge's comm screen was smiling and polite, and Coran was delighted to see him it seemed. Allura was friendly and warm in her responses, and the Paladins stood around mostly trying not to seem too out of place.
Pidge tuned out - diplomacy wasn't really her thing, and people, even alien people, were kind of boring - and distracted herself by trying to figure out if the alien on the comm screen looked more like a lizard or like he had vestigial feathers of some sort, to her. It was hard to tell and it wasn't Pidge's strong suit anyway, but it was a curiosity.
One that occupied her fairly well until one particular phrase sank into her distracted mind. There was a sharp, startled intake of air to her left, where Shiro had been standing, but Pidge couldn't drag her eyes away from Allura, who had flushed slightly, bowing her head, her hair held back too neatly to conceal her face.
"Our people look forward to the fulfilment of the treaty, Princess." the alien - Pidge hadn't even caught his name - said with a smile. "It will be a wonderful celebration, after so long a delay - though of course, we hold no blame to you for that, Princess Allura! - the marriage between our peoples."
Pidge managed to hold down her- her shock and upset and every confused and angry reaction inside her while Allura was still talking to the leader of a planet that could still decide to shoot at them. She didn't want to, but she also hadn't quite figured out what was going to come out as soon as she could speak freely, and-
"What the fuck!" Pidge shouted as soon as the king or prince or whatever he was faded from the screen. "Allura, is that why-"
"Pidge, please calm down." Allura said, shaking her head. "I promise, it's not so- Just- Now isn't the time, please."
"Yeah Pidge, come on, it's not like they called to attack us." Hunk said cheerfully.
"It is never the time!" Pidge snapped, throwing off Hunk's comforting hand - although she felt a little bad about that one, he was only trying to help and he didn't even know why she was upset. "Is this why? Because you knew someone out there would be waiting for you - even after ten thousand years, wow, that's a heck of an engagement treaty! They must really want you!"
"There is hardly much of a treaty left between our peoples and he is not the man I knew in any case." Allura said harshly. "I do not imagine there is much of the original agreement left to fulfil in any case-"
"Fulfil?" Pidge shrieked. "No!"
"Princess, perhaps if you offered a little more detail . . . what they are expecting from you, aside from," Shiro paused, clearing his throat, "and what you mean?" he asked calmly, holding out a hand towards Pidge.
It might have worked, if she wasn't so worked up about this, and he had no way of knowing why, of course. Because it's not the time, Pidge and drop it, Pidge and I don't want to fight about this, darling and no, Pidge had fucking had it.
"It is never the fucking time but you will never, ever talk to me about this if I don't make it the time!" Pidge shouted, her voice harsh, pulling away from Hunk again and taking a few steps towards Allura. "So this treaty was ten thousand years old, maybe okay, you forgot about it or you thought it wasn't relevant, but you can't just dismiss me when it comes up again!"
"I am not dismissing you, now, Pidge, please-"
"Please Pidge be quiet, please Pidge I don't want to fight about this, Pidge just drop it - no." Pidge snapped. "You want to talk about improper influence, how about that you expect me to take orders about our relationship from you and never argue about it?"
"Pidge, that is not what I meant at all!" Allura did, at least, look gratifyingly shocked. Although the blush as she looked around meant Pidge couldn't tell if she was shocked at the suggestion that was what she was doing, or just dismayed by the fact that they were having this argument with an audience.
"Relationship?" Lance nearly squeaked, and Pidge wished she had the emotional energy to be amused at him right now, because that face and that sound really deserved it.
"Your relationship?" Coran asked, inching closer to Allura. He looked surprised as well, but Pidge couldn't read anything else off him. "Princess?"
"Ah- Coran, what Pidge means is-" Allura began, looking trapped.
"What Pidge means is we clearly don't have one." Pidge said, her heart hurting.
"Pidge!" Allura gasped, reaching for her.
"You don't?" Lance said, sounding sort of relieved and very confused. "I mean-"
"No, Princess." Pidge said, stepping back. "If this is what you want- I told you before, I didn't think I could do it. Well. . . I was right then. I can't. And it has nothing to do with the engagement treaty, it has to do with the way you treat our relationship, the way you treat me. If that's how you see me, I can't be with you any more."
"Pidge, no, please, that's not-" Allura shook her head. "I care about you, Pidge, please."
"I care about you, too." Pidge swallowed thickly. "But it doesn't really feel like you do, sometimes. You say you're trying to avoid favouritism or that it is improper but it feels like you want me but you're ashamed of me - or you want me, but only when you want me, to kiss or to cuddle or to hold you when you're upset, but not the rest of the time. I'm not your partner, I'm your-" She shook her head.
"You two have been. . . Why did you hide it from us?" Shiro asked, looking between Pidge and Allura with his soft, concerned expression.
"You two really have a relationship?" Lance yelped, flinging his arms up in the air and beginning to dart towards Allura only to stop, and duck behind Coran. "Why- What?"
"Favouritism?" Hunk repeated, then blinked, shaking his head. "You thought we would be upset you liked Pidge?" he asked Allura, frowning, sounding confused. "Anyway, Shiro's sort of, I mean. You're the Princess, but Shiro's our, uh. . ." he faltered.
"Battle commander?" Keith suggested, and Hunk nodded.
"Right! Shiro's our battle commander! And . . . he's with Keith," Hunk coughed awkwardly, "but I mean, that's fine, why would you and Pidge- I'm really more upset you hid it from us all." He looked it, too. Pidge felt bad and she wasn't even the one who had wanted to hide.
"Wait, Shiro's sleeping with Keith?" Lance shouted, freezing and staring at them.
"You didn't know?" Keith said, sounding honestly surprised, though not much bothered.
"Did I- No I didn't know!" Lance yelled, waving his arms around again. "What on- Is everyone except me dating? Are Hunk and Coran going to say something next?"
"Buddy, if I were dating someone I would tell you." Hunk said, clasping his shoulder calmingly. "I promise."
"But- But everyone. . ." Lance sounded kind of plaintive. If he hadn't been so obtuse about it, and if she weren't dealing with bigger problems herself right now, Pidge might feel sorry for him.
"You've been in a relationship with Pidge, Princess?" Coran asked quietly, and Allura looked at him, drawing herself up.
". . .you were hiding it?" Keith said, and Pidge whipped around to look at him. "Er, I saw Allura at your door the other night. And sometimes I see you- It doesn't matter." he said, rubbing the back of his neck and looking away.
Allura had only sort of got out an answer for Coran before- "Oh! That's wonderful, you're so-"
"No." Pidge said, loud enough to cut through his voice. "We might have. . . We did, Allura, but I meant it. I can't be with you like this any more. I care about you and I- I do believe you care about me, but that's not enough. Not by itself, not any more. I'm . . . sorry." It was an apology a little like all of Allura's.
Pidge meant it, but she also wouldn't change what was behind it.
"Pidge, please, no. . ." Allura begged, stepping away from Coran. "We can work out-"
"I'm sorry." Pidge said again, shaking her head. "Um. I'm going to go . . . work on . . . I'll be in my room. I guess you need to figure out what to do about," she waved at the comm screen, "him. And the treaty. And, uh. Maybe a wedding. Or not. But I can't- Bye."
She'd been backing towards the door as she stumbled through the words, and she broke into a run almost as soon as she was through it. Her heart ached and her eyes stung with tears, and Pidge ran straight up to Green's hangar. If she got high enough - Green had to help - there was a space there she could lie down, under a panel she could watch the stars through and if they weren't travelling sometimes she could almost believe she was back on earth with her brother, lying back and watching the night sky.
Pidge desperately wanted that right now, and the comfort of Green being near her.
To everyone else in the Castle over the following days, it might have seemed as though Allura and Pidge were together more than they had been before . . . but no one could miss the stilted feeling that filled the space around them.
Pidge barely spoke to Allura, but kept up with everything she had to do and worked with her team as usual. She didn't pull back or hide away, even when it was tempting.
Hunk was great when she felt up to sympathy, Shiro or Keith were good for when she wanted to think about anything except her- now-ex.
Lance was . . . still a little bit of a problem. Pidge thought now he was more nursing hurt feelings that he hadn't known than anything else, though, and he kept stumbling over his words as he slipped into the usual comments and flirtations with Allura, like he wasn't sure if it was okay or not.
Not like it had ever bothered him before if it was 'okay', but Pidge didn't say that, either.
Pidge frowned as she heard the hangar door open. If someone was disturbing her when she'd retreated to work on her Lion - and not even via the Castle's internal comm system - it was probably important. She'd been really getting into the possibilities as she reviewed her latest battle reports and the scans of Green's circuitry, though.
Pidge sighed, tapping a few keys to be sure her notes were saved, and then stepped back a bit and glanced towards-
". . .hello, Pidge." Allura said tentatively, raising one hand.
"Right." Pidge said, dropping her gaze back to her laptop, rechecking the highlighted circuitry represented on the screen. Green rumbled her displeasure, far above Pidge, and she smiled faintly. "It's okay girl." she said, then sighed. "Let the Princess say her piece."
"Pidge, I feel as though. . ." Allura trailed off. "Pidge . . . look at me, please?" she asked, her voice sad.
Pidge turned towards her, patting Green's foreleg. Green made another low, protective rumbling sound, and she stroked the warm metal instead. "What would you like to say to me, Princess?" Pidge asked, with her head held high.
"You only used to call me that when you were teasing." Allura said sadly. "Or- Or when you were angry. You haven't said my name in days."
"Sorry, Princess, was there a reason I should?" Pidge asked, and she knew she was being petty but damn it she deserved it, Allura had been. . .
"Pidge." Allura said, a little sharp.
"I'm sorry that everyone knows now, but you haven't got anything to hide any more, at least." Pidge said, frowning. "I don't suppose it matters."
"It matters." Allura said, tone wavering slightly.
"Well then, I'm glad it worked out for you." Pidge said, choking on it just a little. "I don't see what you would need to talk to me about, though. Any more."
"Pidge, I'm sorry." Allura said, taking a few steps towards her.
Green's claws rasped quietly out of their sheaths, which was really more of a declaration than a threat. Allura set her jaw and kept walking, though.
"I didn't realise how badly it was affecting you and perhaps- perhaps I was overestimating how it might affect the others if they knew, but I truly did think it was for the best to keep . . . us a secret." Allura said, frowning. She spread her hands. "I would like to make it up to you, I would like- I miss you." she finished weakly.
"I told you." Pidge said, temper sparking. "I told you how much I hated it, I told you how it hurt, more than once, Allura. You dismissed me like I was a child or- or a servant, maybe, but not a partner. That hurt more than the way you ignored me around anyone else. If you didn't realise it was because you didn't listen."
Allura looked almost stricken, and Pidge shifted uncertainly.
Allura bowed her head, offering a spill of mostly-unfamiliar Altean. A few words - pain, something that meant intentions-towards-another but only if said intentions had changed, one Pidge thought was an insult but hadn't learned yet - were understandable, but offered too little comprehension to make sense of the whole. Pidge opened her mouth, not sure whether to be more upset or not, and Allura spread her skirts out and went to her knees, graceful and smooth even as she bowed low.
"Uh. . . Princess?" Pidge said faintly.
"I am pained to know of the distress my actions have wrought upon one whom I hold most dear." Allura said, lifting her head, her bright eyes shimmering with tears. The backs of her hands rested on the floor, where her skirt had pooled around her. "The fool I have been to rely upon, use and then misuse, the kindnesses offered to a dear one by a lover, and more so to think you would continue to extend that to me even when I hurt and dismissed you. My heart chokes with my shameful actions."
"Allura, this isn't ne-" Pidge broke off as Green rumbled softly, only in her head this time. Soothing Pidge and shushing her.
"I place myself beneath you," Allura bowed her head again, this time deeply enough that the forward-swept locks of her hair that normally fell across her shoulders brushed the floor, "in hopes of no more than making amends to one whom I have injured."
Green gave a mental nudge when Pidge simply stood for a moment, mouth working and no sound coming out. She stepped forwards without thinking. "I- Thank you." she said, and Allura's head dipped a little lower.
"Princess, you-" Pidge stopped, clearing her throat, and knelt by Allura, clasping one of her hands tentatively. Elegant fingers curled around Pidge's own, and Allura met her eyes. "You are no more beneath me than I am beneath you. That's. . ." She stopped herself, mentally reassessing. "That's what I want us to be." she said, smiling slightly.
Allura's eyes widened, and Pidge shifted uncomfortably. "You would wish for-" she broke off, lashes fluttering and gaze drifting away for a moment before her spine straightened. She took a breath to speak, but Pidge got there first.
"I care about you, Snow White," Pidge said softly, deftly separating a lock of Allura's fluffy white hair from the rest of the cloud-like mass, wrapping it around her fingers, "the only thing that could have pushed me away from you is. . ."
"Me." Allura said, looking contrite. "I am so very sorry, Pidge, I. . . I do not know what could have driven me to disregard you so, it was wrong." She dipped her head briefly. "I would not," she continued tentatively, "blame you if you did not wish for our relationship to continue - to resume." she ventured.
Pidge swallowed, then nodded slightly. "I don't want to lose you." she admitted, leaning in, realising belatedly that her knees were on Allura's skirt. "You realise why- The way things were, it can't be . . . quite like that again." she said, mostly sure, but . . . needing Allura to tell her.
"No!" Allura said immediately, eyes widening. "No, I would- I promise, I will not return to the way I had so callously betrayed our relationship. If you believe there is something still worth the trying between us, I would be overjoyed of such - and you are right, to hide from our- our family, at the least, is far from acceptable."
Pidge smiled, relieved. There were maybe some times when it didn't need to be said, but hiding their relationship from their own, that was- That had been the spark of the problem. On the other hand. . .
"Well it isn't just my decision." Pidge pointed out uncomfortably. "Equals, remember, Snow White?" she asked, as lightly as she could force her tone to carry the reminder.
"Equals." Allura smiled. "Were it up to me, I would not let you go, my valiant darling." she said tracing Pidge's cheek with one fingertip.
"Then- I mean. I think we can try again." Pidge said hopefully, and Allura's smile broadened, bright and lovely.
Pidge ducked her head, eyeing Allura shyly. Allura cupped her face, leaning in and hesitating, eyes meeting Pidge's. She grinned, crooked but honest, and nodded slightly, and Allura nearly flung herself at Pidge, sliding them both onto the floor of the hangar as Allura kissed Pidge firmly at one corner of her mouth.
Pidge laughed, Green echoing her amusement fondly - her rumble this time was pleased, not warning - and wrapped her arms around her princess, tipping her head up and pressing a lingering kiss to Allura's lips.
"Pidge. . ."
Pidge hummed absently, flicking between screens on the tablet Coran had helped her alter. There was a discrepancy between the readings here and the readings sent from her laptop, and she couldn't tell if it was due to a glitch, or the difference in the equipment - was the Altean tablet that much more sensitive than she had guessed?
"Darling. . ." Allura crooned, arms slipping around Pidge's waist - she shivered - as she nuzzled her way down Pidge's throat.
"Yes, Allura?" Pidge asked, her voice not calm or even at all.
"You've been working on that for some hours. . ." Allura pointed out, and Pidge hadn't actually realised that, but she nodded. "And you are still recovering from yesterday. . . Do you think maybe it is time for a break?" Allura coaxed.
". . .maybe." Pidge allowed, realising only now how much her back and shoulders ached. Normally she would have been fine, working the way she had been, but . . . well, it had been kind of a nasty fight yesterday. "Do you happen to have any . . . suggestions about what I could do with my break time this evening?" she asked, cocking her head to look at Allura from the corner of one eye.
Allura grinned almost wickedly, then shifted it to a sweet, open expression as she moved around Pidge, fingers trailing. "I . . . might have a few ideas." she said demurely.
Pidge laughed and let herself be drawn away from the wall panel she had gaping open, and Allura hummed, pleased, stroking the sensitive insides of her forearms just past her wrists. She bowed her head and raised one of Pidge's hands, kissing the palm before she released that hand, though keeping hold of the other. They were heading towards the door, but they were passing right by the comfortable, sunken couch in the room. . .
"All right, break time." Pidge grinned and crouched, leaving her tablet on the floor as she slid further down and dropped onto the couch.
Allura startled, then immediately followed her with a couple of long, graceful steps. She curled neatly onto the couch beside Pidge, long legs bending and sliding over her lap as Allura nearly wrapped herself around Pidge. "Thank you, darling." she murmured, kissing Pidge's cheek.
Pidge didn't get a chance to respond before Allura trailed more of the light, playful kisses towards her lips, and when Allura reached her destination, Pidge suddenly had far better things to think about. One hand slid down, over one hip and around Allura's slim waist, and the other drifted up, arm coming to rest lightly on Allura's shoulder, letting her toy with the springy lock of hair not caught up in her girlfriend's physics-defying bun. Not that her girlfriend's hair didn't often defy physics. . .
Allura nearly purred as Pidge stroked the little pink swoop on her cheek, and nipped at Pidge's mouth playfully, back arching as she moved closer. Pidge hummed, her toes curling in her boots, and while she heard a quiet beep, paid no mind to it - and would have wagered Allura put it out of her mind just the same. Until-
"Hey, Shiro wants to run an after action report with everyone, now we're not dead on our feet." Keith said from the doorway. He arched a brow at them when Pidge looked at him.
Allura flushed, but she didn't pull away or even stiffen, only tucked her legs up a little more and nuzzled Pidge's cheek. "I suppose it will have to wait until later?" she asked, with a playful sort of pout, fingertips toying with the edge of Pidge's collar.
"Sure thing, Snow White." Pidge said, grinning, and then tugged Allura back when she made to rise, kissing her soundly. Allura let out a startled sound, tinged with laughter, and Pidge hummed happily, even as she let her girlfriend loose, bouncing up from the couch and scrambling up to the floor above. "I suppose we should go before our fearless leader gets testy." she said, like Shiro would ever. She snickered at the thought.
"Nah, but you might want to go before I do." Keith raised an eyebrow again, arms crossed over his chest. "You're not the only one who had plans for the quiet day." he added before pushing off the doorframe and turning away.
"Duly noted." Allura said primly. "Come, let us go and review yesterday's battle."
"As you wish, Princess." Pidge said with a smile, and followed along at Allura's side, heading down to the bridge.
Miyarl are not from canon of course, I made them up.
Snow White was (among many other details/plot points in this story) from M, when I was struggling to get Pidge to choose an endearment. Because of Allura's lovely cloud-hair. (I imagine Pidge is at least as fond of it as I am, probably more.)
