Dear Baby

Dear Baby,

Let me properly introduce myself. I am Clare Edwards, soon to graduate from high school, academic over achiever, and your mother. Originally I thought it was just a bad episode of some food poisoning or a stomach bug, but turns out you were created around the time of April. You have been quite the surprise in my life. Yes I was a bit scared, but that all melted away just thinking of your arrival to the world. I may be younger then most to have a child, but that doesn't make you and I any lesser to this world. If anything, you are a blessing to me. I wasn't suppose to be able to have children, but you proved them wrong.

Right now, you've be inside my stomach for almost a month and a half. Hope you're doing okay in there, because this is going to be quite the experience for both of us. As for your father, well he doesn't know of your presence yet. I'd rather not tell him over phone, but more for in person. His name is Eli Goldsworthy, and I'm sure he will love you just as much as I love you. He should be visiting soon, that's when I will let him know. Until then, I end this letter and hope to keep writing you more til your arrival. I love you, my dear child.


Dear Baby,

It has been two weeks since the last letter I wrote you. Your father arrived a few days ago, after finishing his finals with college. He lives all the way in New York, so seeing him can be very limited. He came to my graduation yesterday, and cheered me on. Today I told him about you and I was very nervous to tell him, but I pulled through and it went fine. He was a bit shocked, but just like me, very excited to have you apart of our lives. We talked about what to do, what are options are going to be about making your arrival as stress-free as possible, and that will be your father staying with us here in our home so we can be near family. When we feel comfortable and ready, he will try to return to school, but right now he says you and I are the most important things in his life and does not want to miss anything involving us.

Today your father and I told your grandparents about your presence. Both were shocked, but that's what we expected. They became happy as we are in the end, and are just as excited for your arrival. Grandma Helen and Grandpa Glen are going to help out with preparing the house for you. Your Grandma CeCe and Grandpa Bullfrog are even going to make a room for you whenever you would like to visit them. As for your Grandpa Randall, well, you may not see him a lot, but he'll make sure to visit you from time to time, and even call us.

We've got a plan, baby. A plan that will hopefully bring everything perfectly together. Until next letter, I love you, my dear child.


Dear Baby,

It's been busy for us, that's why I haven't been able to write to you. It's almost three months of you being inside my stomach, and you are definately starting to show . We've had some doctors appointments the past few weeks, making sure you and I are doing just fine. They've stepped me through the basics, some diet ideas, and various other things. We'll soon have another appointment to figure out what gender you will be!

Your room here is slowly coming together. We've decided on neutral colors, not have the typical blues and pinks. The walls have been painted a off-white color, with umber in it's detailings. Our next thing to get is your crib, and we'll get everything else after that. There are so many things we still have to do, but as your dad reminds me, we've got some time and not to worry. It can be hard not to worry constantly, because I don't want anything to ruin what little miracle I have... But, I will always try my hardest to keep looking on the postive outlook of things. Until next letter, I love you, my dear child.


Dear Baby,

It's been five months now! Can you believe it? Your arrival time is creeping up faster. As for some news, we got to figure out what gender you will be! A beautiful baby girl... Seeing the ultrasound of you was so amazing, seeing how much you've grown since the last one. We have both of them on the fridge, side by side.

As for your growth, we'll you've caused me to grow a little too. I went out with your Aunt Alli to pick out some maternity clothing. Always the fashion lady she is, she attempted to make me look as stylish as I can be. For your father, well he's been quite the busy man building all the things for you. I can't do much to help, but he always tells me just having my presence is all the help he needs.

During your third month, you actually started to move around. I got to feel you kick, so did your dad.. Quite the magnificant thing it is. I even almost cried, still not being able to believe I've created what will be an amazing human being. We're so excited for you to be here. Well, until next letter, I love you, my baby girl.


Dear Baby,

Six months! Everyone is so excited! We actually have everything prepared for you, with the help of a baby shower. You got a lot of gifts, I must say. Many adorable pieces of clothing, some of the necessities that your father and I will need in raising you, some toys, and much more things that you will just have to wait and see!

Your father took me out on a romantic date, as a break from all the adventurous planning for your arrival. We dined, we danced, and it felt like I was falling in love all over again... He even proposed to me. Oh what a happy day this has been! I feel like my life has been filled with more and more happiness every day. We plan to not have a huge wedding or anything, just a simple court house thing, and a small gathering of loved ones. When you are older and can remember the day, we're going to renew our vows and have a more proper wedding. Well, until next letter, I love you, my baby girl.


Dear Baby,

Almost eight months now! You are about ready to pop out, that's for sure. I've been needing some help around the house more lately, with all the weight wearing me down. Your dad has been very helpful with that. Any moment he think he sees me struggling, immediately he is clung to my side, supporting me in any way. I have a feeling you'll be popping out in the next few weeks or so. You're definately showing that you want out. I have been feeling some stomach pains, and I do get worried every time that it's labor pains, but it always goes away after a bit. People say I should get it checked out if it gets worse, but it isn't that bad. I'll definately know the difference between when you are just streching around and when you are ready to come out. Believe me, your dad is even prepared for the day it will happen. The bag is packed, the initial plan has been planned out, all is good. I hope to have you as natural as can be, but we will have to see. Well, until next letter, I love you, my baby girl.


Dear Baby,

Today marks the day of your birthday. I know, it's been a while since I've written you a letter, but I have to say this year has been... a rough one. You were born on December 28th. You looked so beautiful, so amazing, everything I wished for. But, I wasn't able to take you home... Somewhere along our journey, you passed away... Everyone was so very excited to hear your first cry, your first sound, it never happened... I can remember laying there, having a smile of anticipation to see you. Though I knew by your father's pale faced expression, you were a still-born.. I sat there, screaming at the nurses to do something, anything to bring you back. But I know deep down there was nothing they could do, even if they wanted to. When your father managed to calm me down, they let us have a moment with you in private.. To let us hold you.. You were so cold, so lifeless... But you were still so beautiful... Everyday from that point, it was a battle for me to get out of bed. It was a constant battle not to break down every minute of every day, even with your dad's support it was tough... He was battling the same battle too... But we made it through.

A piece of me died that day... A piece that will be forever with you in the clouds... I really wish I could've been apart of your life, my beautiful daughter. But we've slowly accepted that you truly are gone and with God.. We all love you. We all miss you... Here, I lay this book on your grave stone, with all the letters I've written you up to this point... This is our goodbye for now. You'll always be our baby girl...

With Love,

Elijah and Clare Goldsworthy