It was his crooked smile and wild hair that I first noticed. I had been pouring over the Bilis Codex from the Torchwood Archives for my dissertation. My advisor promised that the committee would be extra difficult during my defense of my thesis due to the unusual nature of my Magnus Greel hypothesis. I've never responded meekly to threats. I was going to say that I've never responded well to threats, but I do, just never meekly.
The Torchwood Archive funded the expedition and even managed to secure space on the starship Madame de Pompadour. On the bright side, we were traveling in style on board the pride of the fleet. Only two years out of spacedock. Of course, we had to double up in the bunks and somehow I was stuck with a roommate with an unfortunate snoring condition. You'd think in the fifty first century that we'd figure out a way to correct that.
It was late local ship time and I found a quiet lounge near my quarters, with only the clockwork androids as company. I was trying to wrap my mind around the Bilis Time Paradox when a mad, beautiful man in an antique brown suit and trainers dashed through the longue, leaping over a small couch. He ran into the kitchen, punctuated with a large crash.
"Excuse me, are you OK?" I asked.
He leaned out of the kitchen hatch backwards and grinned. "Professor River Song, as I live and breathe."
"Professor? Not if I don't figure out how to defend my thesis against the Archive Council."
He scoffed, glanced around the room to make sure no one could hear us and then whispered conspiracially. "I've read it. Quite brilliant. You were very close. Magnus Greel did escape using the time cabinet. Only, he went to the past, not the future."
"What?"
He waved his hand in the air as though this sort of knowledge was common place. He had the look of a dashing professor that set the school girls' hearts aflutter. I had to admit I felt a bit of a tingle. "Oh, don't worry," he said with a comforting smile. "He died in London in the 19th century. I was there. Grisly business."
"What did you say your name was?"
"I'm the Doctor."
"Doctor who?"
"Just the Doctor. I'll tell you my real name some day, but not just yet."
"Do I know you?"
He held a finger in the air and pulled off his glasses. "Wait? Where's the book?"
"The book?"
"You look so young. Forgot how young you are. Oh, I'm thick! I was so excited to see you that I forgot."
"Forgot what?"
He cleared his throat as though he were an actor that had rehearsed this speech a thousand times. "River Song. I'm the Doctor. I'm a Time Lord. I'm from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous. I'm one thousand three Years old and if I don't find the salt everyone on this ship will die."
"Are you mad? Why would there be sodium chloride in the kitchen?"
"Ah, the 51st century! Supreme Alliance, World War V, almost the end of it all. And then it stops. The human race ready for a new challenge, a new life spreads across the cosmos. Only without salt. Bad for the health I suppose. Still, it's a bit sad if you ask me."
"Doctor, why do you need sodium chloride?"
"Oh yes, I had forgotten that part. Must be all of the excitement." The Doctor offered his hand to me. I took it without even thinking about it. I've always been a sucker for pretty boys. "Come with me if you want to live!"
I felt foolish even thinking about believing this stranger without a proper name. I feel like a sodding schoolgirl for saying this, but there was something about his eyes. Ancient and eternally young all at the same time.
We ran like the devil himself was chasing us. The Doctor certainly seemed to know his way around the Pompadour. We stopped briefly on occasion. I desperately tried to catch my breath. The Doctor whipped out a metal wand and started pointing it down the halls. "We're getting closer."
"Closer to what? I've been running until I can't breathe. Nothing's chasing us!"
"Wait! Listen!"
It started quiet as a whisper and then escalated to a high pitch scream that made my teeth ache. "What the Hell is that?"
"My people called them the Meyopapa Pontlottyn. Masters of Despair."
I lived through the Ice Wars as a girl. Hungry. Frozen to the bone. I'd never felt so lost. So helpless. I didn't like it one bit. Decided that I'd never be in that sort of situation again.
The Doctor held up his flashing metal rod and somehow managed to wink at me. "Do you know what the best thing about having a sonic screwdriver in a time like this? Cascading sound reversal with flat power spectral density. White noise."
He flicked a switch and then suddenly the whispers faded. I could still hear them, but I no longer felt them. "I felt so..."
"Alone? Powerless? Like you just showed up in class starkers? That's the power of the Meyopapa Pontlottyn. First, they freeze their victims with fear. They stir doubts and all the the black thoughts any sentient creature possesses, causing those thoughts to fester and overwhelm."
"And then what happens?"
"And then, when their victims have all but surrendered, they feed."
I shivered. It almost sounded like they were calling my name. "How did they get on board the Pompadour? Where is everyone else? Did they kill them? Are they dead?"
"Dead? Nah. Most of the crew and passengers are likely still sleeping," the Doctor said nonchalantly. "Having the worst nightmares imaginable. The ones still awake are beginning to feel their despair, but can't see anything just yet. You're smarter than the average loveable monkey. You'll see them first."
"That's comforting."
"As to how they got on board, that's the mystery. The Meyopapa Pontlottyn are recorded as extinct, but they were there at the beginning."
"The beginning of what?"
"The beginning of time. Before the creation of all of the universes. They served the Old Ones. Leftovers from the time of darkness and chaos. River Song; we can't let them leave this ship. If they can travel the stars..."
"So why the sodium chloride?"
He snapped his fingers. "The Salt! I'd almost forgotten. I'm getting old."
The whispers grew in strength. "River Song. We wait for you."
"Doctor!"
He scanned the corridor behind us with the sonic screwdriver. "They can sense us. Must be my giant oversized brain."
"I thought you were a legendary Time God. Aren't you immune?"
"To fear? To doubt? Nah! And I'm a Time Lord. That just means that I have more to fret about." He took my hand once again. He leaned in close. For a moment, I thought he might actually kiss me. "Whatever you do, don't look back. Do not look back! Do you understand?"
"What?"
"Run!"
The whispers drew closer and the lights began to flicker. We barely kept in the light. "Don't look back!"
I could feel the Meyopapa Pontlottyn chasing after us, nipping at my fears. I only caught glimpses of them. Wet, dripping limbs connected to hideous amorphous blobs of translucent flesh. Grinding teeth. Gliding over the bulkheads effortlessly, sloshing ever faster towards us. Hunting us.
"Doctor, they're gaining on us!"
"Don't look back! Whatever you do, don't look back!"
We turned the corner and deadended. There was a large hatch, but it was sealed. For Authorized Personal Only. "I don't suppose you have a key hidden in that get-up?"
"I have something better," the Doctor said, holding up his sonic screwdriver. "Temporarily solve both problems at once."
He twisted one of the settings on the sonic screwdriver. A high pitch whale echoed in the corridor. "Won't last long. Just a sonic punch on the nose."
"Can't you keep doing that?"
"I'd run out of power."
"What good is it then?"
"What this? It can open doors." He waved the screwdriver over the electronic lock and it hummed a bit and then the hatch opened.
A magic wand..er..a sonic screwdriver that could open any lock? "I need to get me one of those."
We were through the hatch when the lights started to flicker once more. "Must be getting used to the frequency."
He slammed the hatch closed and then used the sonic screwdriver to blow the lock. "That should keep them busy for a few minutes at any rate?"
"They can break through the hatch?"
"The Meyopapa Pontlottyn can flow through walls. Metal takes longer to adjust their bodies. You can't shot them. Stab them. Burn them. They just keep coming. A bit like sharks once they smell what they're after."
"What can we do?"
He folded his arms and leaned against the bulkhead. There was a definite look of triumph in his eyes. He nodded with his head to the sign over the wall. "Biochemistry."
The Doctor had told me from the start the solution to our problems. "Sodium chloride! It kills the beasties!"
He slipped out of his jacket and rolled up his sleeves. "Dehydrates their skin. A little bit like slugs. Except they scream. And I have appromixately four minutes before they can slip through that hatch. Hand me that beaker!"
I played the role of dutiful assistant to the Doctor. I brought him the chemicals and watched him make magic. "How did you know where the BioChem lab was located? I've been on this ship for three weeks and I still don't know my way around."
The Doctor laughed. "I love this old ship. I was here once. Fell in love. I think I invented the banana daiquiri here."
I imagine it was supposed to sound impressive and imposing. It felt like he was a little boy showing off to impress a girl. "Old? The paint's barely dry."
"You forget that I am the Lord of Time."
I laughed. I couldn't help myself. "OK, pretty boy, tell me the future."
I caught a hint of sadness. It must be a terrible thing to be a Time Lord and to know the whole of time and space. The universe is a gigantic. There must be always be wonderful and terrfying things always happening. "In thirty years, this ship accidentally runs afoul of an ion storm. Those thick clockwork men figure out how to poke a hole in time to visit ancient Paris."
"Why?"
He grinned sheepishly. "Well, they wanted the brain of Madame de Pompadour to repair their computer. Long story. She was amazing by the way. Intelligent. Fierce. A lot like a future Professor I know."
There was something earnest and charming about this man. He was so open and yet I somehow knew that if I could pry open his head and read the secrets hidden there that I'd go stark raving mad. "Well, Doctor, you are perhaps the most sublimely ridiculous man I've ever met."
"That might be true. I used to wear celery you know."
Something about his voice just made me laugh. Like I knew that everything would be OK. "You do know that I meant my future."
"Well, you pass your thesis challenge."
"I assumed as much since you called me Professor. Do I make any great discoveries? Do I have children?"
The Doctor shrugged uncomfortably. "It's best to avoid telling each other our personal futures. Spoilers. Takes the taste out of the dish as it were."
"Each other? Do I become a Time Lady?"
"Well, now there's a thought. Only happened to one human before. But in your case, I can't say."
"Well then, Doctor, how do you travel in time?"
He beamed with pride while he continued to mix the chemicals. "In my TARDIS. The best ship in the whole universe. I can go anywhere. Anytime."
"Anywhere? Anytime?"
The whispers returned. There were dozens of them. The hatch bubbled with an amorphous festering. I wish I could say that I was brave. I screamed. "Doctor!"
He grabbed my shoulders and forced me to look him in the eyes. "I've listened to Nero fiddle. I've seen Shakespeare's missing play. I was there for the fires of Pompeii and I did not burn. I've seen the end of time. And now, I'm going to salt some slugs."
The hatch began to dissolve. Metal boiled and steamed. The Doctor took the beaker and splashed a small dash of the salt over it. And then, I heard the terrible screech of the Meyopapa Pontlottyn. It was filled with rage, with hunger, hatred. I covered my ears but there was no escape.
The Doctor waited patiently for it to stop and then shook his head. "I name thee, Meyopapa Pontlottyn." They screamed in response. "Now, now. Didn't expect someone onboard to know you, did you? Don't know how you survived the ancient times, don't care. Return from whence you came. These people, this flesh, is under my protection. I am only going to give you this one chance. I have enough salt to completely saturate the life-support system."
They screamed again; this time it was a howl of defeat. "Leave this place. Swim in the cold void until you return home."
The whispers faded. The lights turned to normal. The Meyopapa Pontlottyn found one thing in the universe more terrible than themselves. The Doctor."You did it!"
He shook his head. "We did it."
And then he took me to see his spaceship, his TARDIS. It looked like a worn old wooden box. I was less than impressed. "Wait until you see the inside. You'll be amazed." the Doctor promised.
He snapped his fingers the the doors to the TARIDS flew up. I stepped inside and never wanted to leave. "This is where you live?"
He shrugged modestly. "I travel mostly. Seeing impossible things each morning."
"Can I go with you?"
"You, Graduate Student River Song, have a thesis to defend. And you have adventures of your own in store. Wouldn't want to deny you a triumph." He shuffled his feet, almost shyly. "But we'll meet again. In fact, I have a present for you."
"A present?"
"I picked it up for you on Barcelona. Wonderful planet!" He ran to one of his delightful wardrobes and ruffled through it. "Yes! I knew I stashed here."
And then he gave me this blue book shaped like his TARDIS. "This is to write about your adventures in. Keep track of things."
"Am I going to have such a busy life?"
"Timey Wimey. Wibbly wobbly. Even I get confused sometimes."
I knew that he was going to leave soon. "What will you do next?"
"I checked the ship logs. The Pompadour passed near a little innocuous blue comet two days ago. Didn't seem like much to the ship's scans, but that's because the creatures sleeping there haven't been sleeping for billions of years. They smelled fear."
"Must have been me worried about the Archives."
"Could be. I remember my days at the Academy. There are some tests that stay with you forever." He laughed a bit nervous. "I'm going to give it a bump with the TARDIS and make sure that the Meyopapa Pontlottyn sleep another couple billion years."
"And then?
"I think I might pop in to visit H.P. Lovecraft. I bet he's brilliant. And I'm in the mood for a good ghost story. And you?"
"The Tomb of Haddah. We think we've found it from the Torchwood Archives. I suppose you know all about it."
He laughed. "Spoilers."
"Spoilers."
"When will I see you again?"
"Don't rightly know. I can tell you one thing. A little spoiler. More a tease than anything."
I didn't realize that until he laughed that I had quick breathing. "What?"
"On a clear and shining day, you and I are going to have a glorious picnic on Asgard."
"I've always wanted to go."
"And one day you will. Until then..."
I left the Tardis. He waved and then the doors slammed shut. Ancient engines ground together and then the blue wooden box blinked out of existence.
Sometimes when two elements met, they cause a chemical reaction. Changing the other forever. I don't know if that's what happened this night, but I certainly felt the heat.
