DISCLAIMER: All characters are the products of Chris Carter.
They also belong to Ten-Thirteen Productions and the Fox
Network. No copyright infringement intended.

TITLE: Till Death Do We Part
AUTHOR: Stephanie
RATING: PG-13 (For subject matter and a few bad words here and there).
CATEGORY: MSR, CD
SPOILERS: None really.
Till Death Do We Part
I knew this day would come.

I had accepted it, prepared for it even. The moment I
realized the depths of my feelings for her, I knew this
would eventually happen. I thought I was prepared, but
nothing could prepare me for the conflicting emotions
that now waged war inside of me.

Fear won out. Fear of what this day symbolized and the
fact that the rest of my life would be forever altered
once the preacher said what he had to say. Everything
will seem so finalized then, so concrete. There'll be no
going back, my life will never be the same.

I never wanted to fall in love.

From the moment Samantha was taken, I vowed that I
would never love anyone again. People I love disappear,
get hurt, die. I didn't want that to happen to her, anyone
but her. But it did happen, over and over again. Dana
Katherine Scully was the only woman to ever break
through the wall that surrounded my wounded soul.
She picked up the torn pieces of my broken heart, put
them back together and made herself at home. She's the
only woman I've ever truly allowed myself to love, but
evidently my love doesn't come without a price.

I just want to get this day over with.

I glance at my reflection in the full length mirror and
adjust my tie for the umpteenth time. I don't know why
I'm so nervous. All I have to do is stand at the church's
alter, surrounded by Scully's family and friends and say
the words I knew I would eventually have to say. From
the moment she walked into my life and I saw the passion
that burned in the depths of her impossibly blue eyes, I knew.
I tried desperately to stop it from happening, tried not to love
her. It was no use. As I stand here now in my rented tuxedo,
ring in hand, waiting for my limo to arrive, I wish desperately
that I had tried harder.

Where the fuck is the limo?

I could have driven to the goddamn church myself, but the
gunmen had intervened. I'm extremely grateful to them for
their support, but the constant meddling was beginning to
get annoying.

"No way are we lettin you drive with the state you're in."
Langly had said earlier today when the guys had decided to
drop by on their way to the church, to see if I needed any
help getting ready. Which, of course, I didn't.

"Today's an important day big guy, and you owe it to Scully
to show up in one piece." Frohicke had announced. He'd
started referring to me as 'big guy' a few days ago, and I have
no idea why. In fact, no one has called me Mulder in days.
Maybe they think that after today I'll want to be referred to as
Fox once again. Only Scully calls me Mulder. Only Scully.

So after many fruitless attempts to convince them that I was
capable of driving myself, I slumped in defeat and agreed to
take the limo that I now see is waiting patiently for me at the
steps of my building. I glance around my nearly empty apartment,
most of my belongings have already been put in storage or
donated to charity. When the gunmen had arrived early, it was
obvious they were confused by my apartment's lack of furniture.
Being the wise men that they are, they hadn't said anything. I was
in no mood to explain to them that all of my material possessions
were no longer necessary. That from this day on, the only thing
I needed was Scully. To be with her and only her for all eternity.
Was that so much to ask? I don't think so, and that's what this day
is essentially all about. Scully and I, together forever.

It's time to go.

I grab my suit jacket and slip my hand inside the pocket. The
ring is there, safe and sound in its customary blue velvet box.
I bought it a month ago today. The morning after Scully and I
had made love for the first time. A little presumptuous, I know.
But I knew Scully would say yes, in my heart I knew.

I look around the apartment one last time before swiftly closing
the door behind me.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The limo arrives at the church sooner than I would have liked.
I still need time to prepare myself. I'm not ready, it's too soon!
Despite my internal panic attack, my face remains stoic. This is
Scully's day and I will not ruin it for her. No matter how much
I dread the idea of facing her family. No matter how scared I
am of saying the words I so desperately need to say, in front of
a god I never believed in, but whom now I can only hope exists.
I will not ruin this for her. She is everything to me, and I will do
anything for her. Anything.

I walk up the never ending steps of the church, the weight of the
world on my shoulders. When I reach the door, I'm greeted by
three familiar faces. Never in my entire life have I been more
happy to see them. I thought I could do this, I thought I was
finally ready. But now that I'm here, I'm not so sure. Byers
seems to sense my unease.

"Are you all right?" he asks tentatively. I shake my head.

"You're late, Mrs. Scully was beginning to worry." Frohicke
says as he begins to lead me into the church. The three men
seat themselves in the pew behind Mrs. Scully and the rest
of the family. Byers whispers something in her ear and she
turns her attention to the back of the church, to me. When
her eyes meet mine she smiles warmly. I can tell she's been
crying, and that many more tears shall be shed before the day
ends. And why the hell not? People are supposed to cry on
occasions like these, it was to be expected.

Suddenly I realize the preacher has stopped talking and is
now motioning me towards the front of the church. The
organ boy begins to play a familiar tune and I know that
it's now or never.

I close my eyes and slowly begin to make my way down the isle,
into a sea of darkness. Everyone is dressed in black. Even Bill
and Tara's newborn daughter adorns the dreadful colour. I hate
black. Black is cold and lifeless, it represents death. Scully wore
black almost everyday. But on her it represented warmth,
exuberance and life.

I hear the soft sounds of people crying all around me, but I do
not look at them. Seeing their tears may cause my own to fall,
and I can't let that happen. I instead choose to focus straight
ahead until I'm standing directly in front of Scully's casket.

Her casket is closed. The knife wounds that now permanently
adorned her beautiful body and face too ghastly to observe.
Wounds given to her by Steven Reed. A man who wanted to
hurt me. A man who raped Scully and stabbed her over 47
times. A man who I then shot repeatedly and whose corpse I
beat to a bloody pulp. One pathetic little man who realized
that the best way to kill me was to take away the only reason
I continued to live.

Rage and sorrow battle for dominance over my emotions, but
I quickly push them aside. There's a reason I'm here today,
something I want to do, something I need to do. Something I
should have done a long time ago.

I reach into my inside pocket and retrieve the ring. I finger it in
my hand for a moment, staring at it as if inside it held the answer
to every question that had ever been asked. In a way, it did. I
glance up to find Father McCue staring back at me, tears in his
eyes. He nods at me and smiles sympathetically. I don't want his
sympathy, but I'll take it. I'll take anything I can at this point, for
I now have nothing. Nothing without Scully.

I gently open the ring box and place it atop the casket. The church
is lit mostly by candle light which now reflects off the solitary
diamond that sits atop the golden wedding band. I want desperately
to open the casket and slip it on her left ring finger. It doesn't seem
right sitting there fingerless, Scullyless. I refrain myself, not wanting
Scully's family to see what has become of her. Not her, her body. The
now lifeless shell that once contained the fiery spirit that was Dana
Katherine Scully. I can only hope that she is at peace now, waiting
for me. She will not have long to wait.

I turn to face everyone, prepared to give voice to the speech I had
written. The look on everyone's face tells me there is no need. They
can see it in my eyes, the way my body quivers. They know what I'm
going through because they're going through it too. Their own personal
hell. If this revelation is meant to comfort me, it doesn't. To know
without a shadow of a doubt that I'm responsible for the pain in Mrs.
Scully's eyes only makes my decision that much easier. My instinct
to flee takes over and I move quickly down the isle towards the doors,
ignoring Mrs. Scully's pleas for me to stay.

I bolt from the church and come to stand directly under the sun's
harsh gaze, the light is blinding. I sit lazily on the church steps
and stare directly up towards the light, welcoming the pain it
causes. I reach into my other pocket and retrieve the only two
items of any worth to me: My gun, a way for me to end this
pathetic excuse of a life. Scully's cross, hope that we will be
reunited in the life after this.

I grasp her cross in one hand and my gun in the other. I bring
the barrel up to rest against my temple. One last glance at
Scully's cross and I pull the trigger.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The End.