Title: Salvation.

Summary: Subaru and Kamui exist in multiple worlds; worlds where they love each other as brothers, worlds where they cannot exist without each other as lovers, world where they are the very same and sometimes, worlds where one has to hurt the other…to help them both survive.

Warning: (Please read for your own awareness) Subaru + Kamui, Subaru x Kamui, Seishirou x Subaru, Fuuma x Kamui, Seishirou + Fuuma, Weird, out of order timeline and many different POV's. A few original characters. Written in first person. Minor characters' POV's shown by italics, for extra reference. The main characters are the members of the famous X quartet although minor ones may make an appearance later on.

If you don't understand something, just keep moving forward and sooner or later, it'll all fall into place.

Rating: M (for dark themes, violence, sexuality, portrayals of places, implied adult themes in the future. Controversial topics will be handled through the course of the fic.)

Disclaimer: All characters are property of Clamp. I have no rights to them. My own views are not reflected in this fanfic in any way. It's just a story and make of it what you will as the reader.

Introductory Note: This story came from a few interactions I had with fellow X/1999 fans, through this site and on tumblr. While all of them differed in terms of their preferred pairings and so on, everyone agreed on one thing.

Abusive Subaru/Kamui is prohibited.

This is justified by saying that Subaru would never be able to hurt anyone and would never use Kamui to vent out his frustrations on him and I totally agree. Fanfics dealing with that sort of thing are usually badly received. But, the purpose of fanfiction is to write your own story while staying true to the canon. So, what about a story where unimagined abuse happens…and it's totally justified?

The idea sent chills down my spine when I first thought of it, so this is what I made during a time when I was feeling really depressed. I hope you enjoy the story. Give it a chance and don't pass a hasty judgment, please. I appreciate your patience and hope you enjoy the story.

XXX

Chapter 1: By Sei-chan-1999

Hurt

"You're hurting me."

The admonition comes nervously, as if it's wrong to tell someone that what they're doing is nothing to them and a torture for you.

He sounds ashamed to tell me that he's in pain because of me.

I stop.

"I'm sorry, Kamui-chan," I say and he doesn't reply but goes back to squeezing the squealing rubber duck, ignoring soap bubbles spewing into the steamy air around us.

I change my strategy instead. Rather than working on his scalp with my nails as I've been unconsciously doing, I use the pads of my fingers instead and then sift through his soaked hair.

"Thank you," he says when I wipe a trail of shampoo foam away from his eyes.

I soap him all over, rinse him off and after wrapping him in a towel, I lift him out of the tub and put him on the wet floor.

"Sumeragi-san," he begins, pressing himself against my legs for warmth. It's a weakness I know he would never express in front of anyone besides me and it means that he trusts me.

"Don't call me that," I correct quickly, "I'm just fifteen."

"Ni-san," he repeats slowly, as if putting the word through a test, "Am I coming to live with you?"

"In a few more years," I tell him. The next instant, he's wound his arms around my waist, or at least how much of it he can reach on tiptoe.

"Not today?" he asks and when I shake my head, he looks betrayed and unhappy.

"I need more time," I reply as I kneel down and help him step into a pair of pajama shorts.

"For what?" he demands bossily, balancing himself with a small hand on my shoulder and shivering a little. He's slight, wet and smells of citrus.

I love him so much.

"To learn some more. About how to take care of you."

"You know it already! You gave me a bath!" Kamui protests and grabs my hair to tug at it and show his dismay.

"There's lots more I need to learn," I say, prying his fingers loose, "A bath isn't everything. I need to learn how to feed you, how to get money for both of us, send you to a new school, find a house and then, I have to learn how to protect you."

The six-year-old looks highly flattered by the idea of being protected by me of all people and smiles when I take his hand, leading him out of the dingy bathroom to tuck him into bed.

The other children stare at me, some of them wary, others curious and jealous when I enter the dormitory. I try to imagine a life where you have no one to claim as your own and push down a shiver. One or two come closer to me, silently asking for what I've already given away and I just pat their heads.

I can't help everyone.

Kamui falls asleep barely three minutes later and I stare down at his tiny body under the sheets, heaving slightly as he breathes. I leave after making sure I have that picture burned into my mind.

"I'm coming back for him," I tell the warden at the reception and she smiles patronizingly at me. I bow and take my leave so I can catch my flight in time.

I will be back for Kamui.

And when I have him, I'll never leave him. That one is a promise I keep within myself, because when you say it aloud, you tempt the world to break it.

XXX

Sumeragi Subaru-kun impresses me.

It's not his performance, his conduct or the way he holds himself, rigid and impassive, barely lifting his eyes off whatever he's occupied with until it's completely finished.

No.

His brother is the reason I paid any attention to him at all in the beginning.

They have differing surnames: Sumeragi Subaru, age twenty-one, a rising member of the organization he joined six years ago and Shirou Kamui, nearly fourteen, easily the youngest and shortest person in this designated zone ever since he arrived here, not even nine years old.

He walks into their house after school and is obviously shocked to find the four uniformed officers, including his brother, seated at the table, watching him frozen at the doorway with a loaded shoulder bag slung across his front.

Subaru barely spares him a glance but waits for me to continue what I was saying.

"Subaru-kun. You may greet your brother. This is your home after all," I remind him and he nods.

"Kamui," Subaru addresses the boy, getting up and Kamui steps forward into the house and shuts the door. He regains his composure and bows to us politely, before approaching his elder brother. He takes his hand and presses it to his lips respectfully, the way our custom dictates, before letting him go. Subaru smiles faintly down at him and runs his fingers through the boy's messy hair in response.

Another difference comes to notice. Subaru's hair is pure black while his brother's is a shade closer to dark brown.

"You need a haircut," he chides mildly, "Remind me later, all right?"

No matter his strengths, acting is not one of them. He may want to convince the world otherwise, but his younger brother, now barely into his teens, is his most treasured possession.

"How was school today?" Subaru asks and Kamui sits in one of the armchairs a little away from where we are seated at the table.

"It was fine," Kamui replies, "But a class of one gets lonely."

"Poor Kamui-kun," I can't resist saying, "How do you manage to catch up on sleep in a classroom like that?"

Kamui smiles and looks down at his feet. His brother has disciplined him well. Maybe away from the eyes of superiors, he is a normal boy, but before us, he's contained and courteous. He may have been adopted from the lowest of backgrounds, but has been taught the manners, sophistication and social graces of an adult twice his age.

"Maybe by the time you get a growth spurt, we can find you a girlfriend and a few more classmates," another associate calls out, joining into the needling.

Kamui blushes and looks towards Subaru for help. The older man just smiles fondly at him, shakes his head and comes back to the table to re-continue the talk.

"I'd like to extend the class division for the experimental department," I announce once everything is readied again. Subaru's eyebrows shoot up for an instant as his brother distractedly picks up a magazine from the glass coffee table before him and begins to flip through it.

"Extend?" Subaru asks, clearly disturbed.

"We are right now containing our activities to those who fall into the range of zero to twenty," I explain patiently, "I propose to extend the range by another twenty on that end of the spectrum to cover a wider range of abnormalities."

Subaru just frowns.

"May I be so impertinent as to ask why?" he asks and Kamui shoots a glance at him. No doubt the idea of Subaru being 'impertinent' is rather ridiculous to the child.

"There isn't a specific reason, Subaru-kun," I say simply, "I thought we could expand our horizon and allow more interns to take part in the process rather than keeping it under wraps. It's a benefit to you too."

"Is that so?"

"It is," my colleague assures him, "You'll have your own sub-group of interns and trainees to supervise and guide. Your work-load will decrease and there'll be lesser involvement, but it's a definite promotion."

A promotion means change. A new house, a new locality, more opportunities and more pay. I know I'm the only one who sees Sumeragi's eyes flick towards an oblivious Kamui before he replies carefully.

"Thank you for illustrating the point. It would be an honor to take up this new position."

"You really are too formal at times, Subaru-kun," I say and from the corner of my eye, I see Kamui putting down his magazine slowly and looking up at the dark flight of stairs right in front of him, "And your brother is heading the same way. What do you say, Kamui-kun?"

To my surprise, Kamui ignores me.

The thirteen-year-old's eyes are fixed on the stairwell. From my angle, I see nothing through the darkness between the banisters, but his violet eyes have spotted something else.

"Kamui-kun?" I repeat, a little louder.

His eyes travel down the stairs one at a time. The purple orbs that are so entrancing on his delicate face that people, even other men, can't keep their eyes off of him here. And in a contained and deceptive place like this, it's no wonder that his brother is so protective. But if he believed it wasn't haven, he wouldn't be here.

And it is. Compared to the world outside where we carry out our work, we are in paradise here.

"Kamui!"

Subaru says it this time, his voice harsh, but he's blatantly disregarded too. He tries again.

"Kamui, look at-"

"Wait," I instruct him, watching the boy.

Kamui's eyes go down some more. One step. Another. Fraction by fraction his irises fall.

As if watching someone or something walk downstairs step by step.

He reminds me of a cat ready to dash up a wall or bolt into the night at the sight of an enemy.

But no one is there.

The glass shattering is Subaru breaking a piece off the corner of the glass table. He ends up with a jagged and triangular shard in his hand and walking over to Kamui, he strikes the teenager across the face with a violence that sends him off balance. He steps before the boy and blocks his view.

"Subaru?"

Kamui is shocked as he looks up and makes no move to resist when Subaru drags him to stand by the collar of his shirt and pulls him to the nearest bedroom. He shuts the door and locks it behind him, the glass piece still in his grip.

He leaves the three of us behind at the table, totally stunned at such savagery from him of all people, directed towards a mere boy of thirteen.

For a few seconds, there's silence, until something heavy thuds to the floor.

Then the screaming starts. A boy's shouting, his voice not broken fully yet.

"Sumeragi-san!"

Another colleague gets to his feet, intending to stop him, but I raise a hand.

"No," I say firmly, "Sit down."

Kamui is crying from behind the door, his voice a little muted by it, imploring his elder brother to stop. This time, I can make out that he is ignored and is lifted onto something even as he resists. There's the sound of struggling and I deduce that Subaru is holding down Kamui and using the glass shard on his body, since there's no other distinct noise. It continues for about a whole minute until the boy begins to choke.

He's allowed a rest.

There's silence for another minute as Kamui tries to catch his breath and then, the scream reaches a new peak as Subaru begins the abuse again. I hear something on a table fall over from his flailing.

In spite of myself, I feel the hairs of my neck standing up.

"But, sir! Surely you're not going to allow him to-"

"Sumeragi-kun is disciplining his brother," I reply, "It's a personal matter and we have no right to interfere, even if he kills Kamui-kun."

Which, of course, he won't. I'm sure about that.

Subaru doesn't say a word through the whole ordeal.

Kamui begs some more. He tries to sit up, I think, but is forced down again and brutally hit. He screams a few more times, saying he's sorry over and over again, trying to tell him something else and then-

Silence at last. Kamui has blacked out.

Another door within the room opens. Water runs. A tap creaks closed. I can imagine Subaru trying to revive him.

Kamui moans as he regains consciousness.

Then the speaking starts.

Subaru-kun's voice is calm as he talks in a low tone, telling Kamui something that is too unintelligible to hear. Kamui replies shakily and just as softly, unheard to us but clear to his brother. His words are punctuated by pants and he's struggling to keep from weeping again.

Subaru makes him repeat a set of words several times and Kamui obediently does, his speech blurry and slurred. Obviously a reprimand of what he must never do again.

"Do you understand now?" I ask and the man drops his head, "It's between them."

"Yes, sir," he replies and we wait.

Subaru opens the door and then closes it after he emerges.

"I apologize for my brother," he says, "I'll ensure he never ignores you again."

"It was unnecessary," I state firmly, "He's a child."

Subaru holds out his hands for a mere second. The glass shard is glinting crimson and his palms are spattered with blood.

"Would you be so kind as to call a doctor to attend to him?" he asks, "I'm afraid I can't dial like this."

He goes away to wash up.

One of my men gets to the kitchen to turn on the faucet for him. The other one stares into the room where Kamui is probably now lying dazed and battered.

I can't help but to look at the stairs again. There's nothing there.

Nothing at all. And interestingly, everyone else has forgotten about it.

"I'll call the emergency services instead," I offer, stopping him as he goes over to the damaged coffee table, "You should tend to your brother."

Subaru stops, wiping his wet hands on his trousers and meets my eyes.

"Thank you, Seishirou-san."

XXX

I slide my hands under the sheets and find Kamui curled up in the dark, feigning sleep. I click on a light before I sit down and let my fingers trace his features until I find his head and then press the icepack I brought with me against his ear.

Kamui hisses and arches up violently but then, he sighs in relief as the chillness spreads.

"How did you know?" he asks in wonder, pushing the sheets, "Ni-san?"

"Because a few years ago, I was seventeen too," I tell him tersely, "Was this Fuuma's idea again?"

"Um…"

That tells me all I need to know.

"I suppose I should be thankful you didn't tattoo his name across your front while you were at it," I mutter and he kicks me.

"What did you get, by the way?" I ask him curiously and touch the new stud in his earlobe carefully. When I move away, he holds my hand with his own and presses it there again, as if trying to soak me against himself.

"A crucifix," he admits, "Just one ear."

"Was there any reason for it?"

"Not really."

I sigh and get into bed with him.

"You shouldn't," Kamui says quickly, pushing me as I try to hold him, "My trial is next week and they must be watching the house…if they find out that we….that we…then-"

"We're brothers," I cut in, "Despite everything else that's happened, that never changes. And anyway, you're seventeen. You're allowed to do what you want."

Kamui snuggles up to me in reply.

"Something really good has been happening since everyone learned the truth about you," I say, pulling him close and keeping a hold on the icepack at the same time.

"What?"

"Girls have stopped proposing to me."

XXX

He's almost in tears of rage when they finally let him in. His clothes are crumpled from being held back for hours and his hands are bruised and reddened, as if he's been banging on the door. He runs over to where I'm half sitting and half lying on the military hospital bed and stands by my side awkwardly, breathing hard, trying to take in all my injuries at once.

His escort waits at the doorway, looking almost disgusted by the open show of emotion.

"A moment, please," I tell the nurse and two doctors attending to me and they nod and excuse themselves. I drag the sheet up from my waist to my chest so Kamui won't have to see how badly I'm hurt. As it is, he lets out something close to a dry sob.

"Shirou-kun," his escort snaps, "Control yourself. Maintain decorum before your brother."

Before he can say anything more, I take Kamui into my arms and hug him. It's awkward because he's standing and I'm lower than him, so I make space and pull the ten-year-old onto the bed. That way, he's kneeling over me instead, his head on top of mine.

"What happened?" Kamui asks, his voice muffled by my hair. The escort glares at me and I hold Kamui around the waist tighter, in defiance.

"It was an accident. I was attacked during a raid," I say to him alone, "It's nothing, really."

I can't stop my voice from slipping a little and press harder against his stomach, wishing he was the older one for once, because I can't take this anymore. I'm not even twenty, I wasn't meant for this and it's too much for me to handle by myself.

Kamui just swallows hard as he messily strokes my hair and grips me tighter. He lets me hide against him, so while it looks as if I'm comforting him, it's the exact opposite. He releases me when I stop shaking, sliding against me tiredly. He's noticed the tear stains on his uniform but thankfully says nothing about them.

"Are you in pain?" he asks worriedly, brushing my cheek with his fingers nervously until I close my eyes and sigh hard. Then, I open my eyes and nudge his head onto my chest, so we're closer.

"I was," I say, "Until a few minutes ago."

Kamui's eyebrows go up in wonder.

"Really? What happened then?"

He's just ten.

The escort, unable to take more of this, leaves the room and I have to laugh.

XXX

"Shirou-san, please remain absolutely still."

"Subaru?"

Someone wipes my face and wedges something soft under my head as I open my eyes.

"He's going to be all right. Give him air."

There are at least six people over me; police, officers and medical staff and I'm trapped to the ground, staring up, feeling like I'm going to drown as a weight presses me down to the floor. I try to sit up or at least turn my head. I remember the last memories; doors banging open, men shouting, glass breaking, fired shots and Subaru holding me and…vanishing.

"Shirou-san! Stop moving!"

A hand grabs me and forces me to remain still.

"Let go! Just let-"

"That's enough! Control yourself!"

"Subaru! What did you do to him?!"

"He's right here."

Fuuma is beside me, appearing from nowhere. He takes my hand gently and leads it down to the weight on top of me and I feel bloody wetness and soft hair and sob in relief. I know it's him. I just know.

"You can't move," Fuuma tells me as I look up at him, "Sumeragi-san was shot in the back by the assassin he didn't kill. If you get up, you'll hurt him. Just wait for a while. I'll stay here with you."

"Sumeragi-san?"

"What the hell happened?"

"Assassins. Sumeragi-san tried to take them down before-"

New voices, the smell of disinfectant, injections being prepared and I can't feel my brother's heartbeat anymore.

"He's going to be all right," Fuuma says calmly when I start crying again, "There's no need for that."

Someone asks Fuuma how old Sumeragi-san is. Fuuma says he's twenty-one, because he's nine years older than me, but that's not true; he's still twenty and his birthday is in four days.

"Why did he allow the last one to remain alive?" someone demands and boots step into my vision.

"He ran out of bullets and shielded his brother instead," someone else supplies, bored, "His military vest stopped too much damage."

I see Seishirou-san there, staring down at us. He smiles down at me as if this is all a game. A man whose name I don't know, another officer, comes to stand beside him and looks at me pinned to the ground. He raises his eyebrows when he does.

"Well," he says audibly, tilting his head, "We all make mistakes."

Fuuma puts his hands over my ears but he's too late. I heard it all.

And Subaru did make a mistake.

He saved the life of someone who wanted to die right after that.